"jisung, are you sure about all of this...?" heesun spoke calmly. "the recent events have been overwhelming for all of us, and i know you didn't mean- "

"i meant every single one of my words." jisung cut his godfather, not turning his head to look at him.

jisung's speech had ended around half an hour ago, and heesun was now driving jisung to the nct dream dorm.

just like any other member from death park, heesun had been shocked by the words that had left jisung's mouth in front of the hundreds of cameras, minutes ago. jisung had never told them about dissolving the mafia, and none of them had imagined it to be possible.

they all believed that they would be going back to their illegal activities peacefully now that dark danger was out of the picture. but they weren't expecting jisung to make everything stop so suddenly.

"the whole world knows about who death park is now, and they know our identities. there's no point trying to go back into business." jisung stated, his eyes on the road.

"there has to be a way..." heesun sighed.

"and what for?" the younger boy now faced his godfather, his brows furrowed.

heesun stayed silent, thinking about a valid answer, but not finding any.

"aren't you fed up of going from hooker bar to hooker bar and dealing with sluts day and night to steal money from rich businessmen?" jisung asked rather harshly referring to heesun's branch in the mafia: prostitution. "have you never wanted to have a simple life, far away from guns, murders, and criminal activities? have you never wanted to live normally and to have a family?"

"death park is my family." heesun replied.

"death park is what prevented you to form a family." jisung tackled back.

the man sighed loudly, his eyes never leaving the road in front of him as he swallowed the words that had been said.

they were true.

he didn't have a family because he had dedicated himself fully to the mafia, leaving him little to no time to find someone or to think about having a family.

"what are you going to do now that death park doesn't exist anymore?" heesun asked after a while to kill the silence. "are you going to concentrate fully on your idol career?"

jisung snorted loudly, scrolling through the news pages on the internet. everything was about him, and how he was part of a mafia or how he had lied to the whole world about who he was and what he did. he could even see the comments fans posted, and many of them weren't pleasing.

"my idol career was killed the second my parents died." jisung locked his phone and looked back at the road. "if not before."

"what do you plan to do, then?"

"disappear." jisung replied simply. "what else?"

"jisung, you're only 20..."

"yeah, but i have enough money for me, my children and my grandchildren to live really well without working." the younger retorted.

"your members won't let that happen..." heesun warned.

"i don't care about what my members think." jisung scoffed.

"and what about chenle?"

jisung stayed silent after this.

chenle.

it hurt only to think about him.

jisung couldn't even imagine what the other was feeling right now.

hatred, betrayal, anger, sadness, madness...

jisung was sure he had broken him fully. and he hated himself for it.

chenle was the most precious boy to ever exist, and he didn't deserve to live in such a shitty world, or to be surrounded by awful people like jisung.

"it will be better for him." jisung stated.

his godfather sighed, seeing the obvious pained expression that decorated jisung's face. "i'm not so sure."

"i don't really have a choice."

"you always have one." heesun shrugged.

"because you believe my members will accept me as if nothing had happened? not to disappoint you, but i was there when they spoke about how they hated all those mafias that kept harming people around them. and, oh! i was one of them!" jisung exclaimed.

heesun kept his mouth shut, knowing better than to anger jisung right now.

instead, he focused on the road for a few more minutes and parked the car a few houses away from the nct dream dorm.

"we're here." he declared. "go, i'll wait for you to come back."

"give me your gun." jisung demanded.

heesun shook his head. "you don't need it."

"give me your gun." jisung repeated, his eyebrows furrowing.

"here..." heesun sighed, handing the weapon to his godson.

"i'm coming back." jisung declared before getting out of the car and slamming the door harshly.

the former mafia leader walked towards his dorm, his eyes fixed on the crowd of paparazzi that were standing in front of their dorms with their mics and cameras.

"oh my god, look! it's jisung!" one of them said, noticing the younger approaching.

this was followed by excited screams as well as a herd of mad paparazzi running towards jisung.

however, they all stopped instantly when jisung pulled the gun out of his pocket and pointed it at them.

"back off." he said, no ounce of emotion visible in his eyes.

the paparazzi gulped in unison, some of them switching their cameras on and fiming jisung who kept taking steps forwards.

"lower your cameras." jisung stated again, his gun still pointed at them.

some of them put their cameras away, but others continued filming, making jisung's jaw clench.

the criminal lifted his gun to the sky and shot once, making the paparazzi jump in fear. jisung then pointed the gun back at them. "put those fucking cameras down." he growled, making all of the cameramen stop filming now. 

jisung took another few steps until he got onto the porch of the dream dorm.

"i better not see you here anymore when i come back out, or i guarantee that it won't be pleasant for all of you." he declared before placing his keys into the lock and twisting them to open the door of the dorm, not forgetting to close it loudly behind his back.

once inside the dorm, jisung wasn't surprised to find his fellow nct dream members as well as a few members from 127 standing there petrified and staring at him with fear and apprehension evident in their eyes.

jisung couldn't blame them. he wasn't sure he wouldn't have the same expression on his face if he came to learn one of his members was part of a criminal organisation. 

unintentionally, his eyes fell on chenle, who looked more than miserable right now, but still looked amazingly gorgeous in jisung's eyes. the boy was crying silently, and jisung could see his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly.

he diverted his eyes from the boy that made his heart go crazy and looked back into his members' eyes.

"don't come to me." he spoke, his voice low. "you know how dangerous i am, and what can be the consequences."

and with that said, jisung headed straight to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind his back and making all the other neos jump slightly.

they all shared worried looks, not knowing what to say or what to do.

none of them expected jisung to show up right now, after all that had happened, and none of them knew how to act facing the criminal that they had treated like the brother these past years.

but it seemed like chenle didn't approve any of this.

the chinese male stood up and ran towards the closed door, hoping to see jisung and to have a talk with him. he needed explanations, he needed more.

sadly, he was stopped in his race by jeno who had wrapped an arm around him as he was passing by his side.

"chenle, no, you've heard what he said." jeno spoke.

"let me go, hyung!" chenle cried louder, struggling into his member's embrace.

"chenle, you're going to get hurt."

"jisung won't hurt me!" chenle continued struggling, in hope of being able to reach jisung's bedroom.

"he's not the jisung you know anymore." jeno told.

"yes, he is!" chenle cried louder. "let me go!"

"chenle, i can't- "

"let him go to jisung." taeyong cut jeno's sentence, making most of the members widen their eyes.

"b-but- "

"jisung won't hurt chenle."

with a sigh, jeno opened his arms and allowed chenle to run towards the closed door.

the chinese male didn't wait a single second to open the door and slide in, closing it behind his back.

"i told you not to come to me."

chenle almost gasped when he could finally look at jisung, finding him standing a few meters in front of him, an open bag at his feet while he collected his stuff. but the most shocking part of this was that he was holding a gun, and pointing it right at chenle's forehead.

"j-jisung..."

"haven't you seen what i was capable of?" jisung said through gritted teeth. "don't come near me."

the chinese boy took a deep breath before swallowing his fear and taking a cautious step forward, his eyes never leaving jisung's.

jisung noticed how shiny they were because of the tears that had been endlessly falling from them for the past hours.

"y-you could have said n-nothing and d-done nothing..." chenle stuttered as he took slow steps forwards. "y-you could have left them u-using me as a b-bait... y-you would still have the life you had... the m-money... the c-cover..."

by now, chenle was close to jisung; so close that the cold metal of jisung's gun was pressing against his forehead.

but chenle wasn't scared. he loved jisung. and he trusted him with his whole life. he knew jisung would never hurt him.

"but what's the point of having all of this if the one you love is dead?"

jisung sighed looking into chenle's teary eyes and feeling his heart missing beats.

he hated himself for hurting chenle. he didn't want to...

chenle deserved so much better.

the cold metal of the gun was removed from chenle's forehead as jisung tucked the weapon inside the waistband of his jeans, going back to preparing his bag.

"d-don't leave me..." chenle begged, and jisung saw his tears crashing on the wooden floor of the room.

"i don't have a choice." jisung sighed, rummaging through his shoeboxes to find a metallic object he thought he was never going to use.

"i-i won't let you l-leave me..." chenle continued, making jisung stand up and look at him again.

"chenle, i am not good for you." jisung replied. "i'll hurt you too much..."

"you've never hurt me, jisung..." chenle assured, his voice trembling so much. "i love you."

as much as jisung tried holding himself at these words, those three words awakened in him a pulsion that made him lift his hand delicately to caress the chinese's cheek and then lean forward to glue their mouths together.

jisung's eyes fluttered close as he kissed chenle's lips passionately, humming in content when chenle wrapped both of his arms around his neck and got on his tippy-toes to kiss him better.

their lips danced together sensually as their saliva mixed with the tears that were escaping chenle's eyes.

the kiss lasted long, but it stayed chaste, as if none of them wanted to lose their breath and need to separate earlier.

jisung's hand that was on chenle's cheek caressed his arm and slowly removed it from his shoulder to place it by his side as he wrapped his second arm around chenle's waist, making something cold enter in contact with chenle's wrist.

everything happened before the chinese male could react.

there was a click and then, jisung grabbed his other arm, locking his second wrist behind his back with a cold metallic object as he pulled out from the kiss.

"i love you too, chenle." jisung spoke, his eyes being a mix of regret, love, sadness and compassion.

chenle blinked, looking at jisung as he turned around and picked his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

the chinese male tried walking forward and approaching jisung again, but his arms got held backwards, making some pain shoot through his wrists.

turning his head around, chenle noticed that both of his hands were locked by a pair of handcuffs that had been passed across one of the bars at the end of the bed, making it impossible for chenle to move.

"j-jisung?!" chenle stuttered, his eyes filling with more tears as he struggled more, hurting his wrists while trying to approach jisung who was heading towards the door.

"goodbye, chenle." jisung told.

the criminal walked out of the bedroom without looking one last time at the boy he had fallen in love with, knowing that the mere sight of his teary eyes and quivering lips would make it impossible for him to leave. and so, he closed the door behind his back muffling the sounds of chenle crying and yelling his name.

the few members that were still in the living room looked at jisung with the same look of fear as the former mafia leader walked to them.

jisung pulled out a small key from his pocket holding it out in front of jeno's eyes.

the older member lifted a trembling hand and allowed jisung to place the key in the crook of his palm.

jisung gave him a small smile before heading towards the front door and opening it, standing in the doorway before turning around one last time.

"i will miss you guys..."