jisung sighed as he pushed open the door of his and jaemin's shared room.

the older boy was nowhere to be seen, but jisung still checked around the room, and the windows to make sure no one else was there, and no one was peeking.

once all those check-ups had been done, jisung opened his closet, pushing away the dozens of outfits hanging on hangers to have access to the box he had hidden there.

it looked like a pile of ordinary shoeboxes, but it was in fact a safe, keeping money and weapons safe.

there were two guns with refills, knives, another smaller box with a variety of poisons, money from different countries, handcuffs, a bottle filled with a red liquid, and a pile of small metallic objects representing a skull, the symbol of their mafia. these were the pieces they left behind after committing a murder or extorting someone, as if to show how powerful they were.

jisung pulled a metallic piece as well as the small bottle containing red liquid, examining it carefully.

this bottle contained a droplet of blood from every of death park's members. this was a ritual that had started long ago in their family, and each new year, the new members would add their blood to the mix. once your blood was inside, you were part of the mafia. and there was no way out other than death. and betraying one of the persons whose blood filled this bottle gave the ability to all those who had a drop of their blood in the bottle to avenge the traitor, as violently as they wanted.

jisung's own blood had been added there when he was less than 1. as the son of the mafia leaders, he was bound to be in the mafia, he had no choice.

"ji..."

the heir to death park slammed the safe shut immediately, turning around to find chenle standing in his doorframe.

"hi, chenle." jisung smiled. "what are you doing here?"

"my mom brought me here, because i wanted to tell you goodbye." chenle explained.

chenle was the only member who didn't live in dorms with the rest of nct.

his parents had bought him a house in seoul, and he was staying there with his mother or his aunts. nobody really knew why, but they didn't question it. as long as he didn't miss any training or activity...

"goodbye?" jisung chuckled, placing the metallic skull in his pocket and tightening his grip on the blood-filled bottle.

"yeah, for 2021... it's the last time we're seeing each other this year." chenle nodded. "tomorrow we'll be in 2022."

"it will still be the same, you know?" jisung told. "nothing will change."

"yeah, but... it's... symbolic, you know?" chenle fidgeted with his fingers. "like... tradition?"

jisung sighed.

tradition...

it was always about tradition.

couldn't things become natural and not recurrent?

couldn't they get rid of all those mafia traditions that became even more stupid with each year jisung participated in them?

and now, even chenle was telling him about traditions...

jisung would never be able to forget about his double-life...

"so...?" jisung raised a brow, looking at chenle curiously.

"so, i came to say goodbye to 2021 jisung." chenle continued, walking in the room and approaching jisung. "can i hug you goodbye?"

the mafia member looked down at his close friends, chuckling at the way his cheeks had considerably reddened. he was adorable, standing there while looking up at jisung with his puppy eyes.

"sure, come here." jisung opened his arms wide for chenle to snuggle in.

the chinese boy didn't waste a second to jump into jisung's arms and hug him tight as his own heart started fluttering inside his chest.

jisung hugged back, placing his chin over chenle's head with ease.

he somehow felt bad to know that people as pure as chenle were living in a world full of mafia and corruption, without even knowing it. he didn't deserve it. chenle deserved to live in a peaceful and perfect world.

one of jisung's hands wrapped around the boy's neck, making him place his fingers on the artery, just next to trachea to check chenle's pulse. he sighed, realising how fast chenle's heart beat compared to his.

sadly, this was another consequence of being part of a mafia: feelings didn't exist anymore.

since his early years, jisung had learnt to control his emotions; fear, happiness, sadness, anger... he was taught not to care about who he killed or who he tortured. he was taught not to fear others, even if they appeared to be way stronger than him. he was taught to forget about compassion and love.

jisung faked it all in front of nct, but the truth is, he was never happy or giddy. his happiness had died at the same time as his child innocence: way too early. and knowing that chenle's body reacted in such a good way at a simple hug made jisung realise how bad being a mafia was for his person.

"ji, what's in your hand?" the chinese questioned, slowly pulling away from the hug.

"nothing." jisung shrugged it off.

"come on, tell me! i could feel it against my back." chenle giggled.

"it's not- "

jisung sighed as chenle ran on the other side of him, catching a glimpse of the bottle jisung was holding.

"what is it?" chenle asked. "it's a bright red liquid."

"it's grenadine." jisung lied with ease. an advantage of being a criminal was that he had learnt how to lie.

"really! can i have some? i love grenadine!" the curious boy continued giggling. oh, if only he knew what was really inside...

"it's expired. i just found it in my closet... but if you ask renjun, i'm sure he'll find some for you in the kitchen." jisung continued.

"oh! i'll ask renjun then." chenle nodded happily. "buy jisung, see you next year!"

and with that, chenle walked away, leaving jisung alone with his bottle of blood.

the mafia heir looked at the bottle, sighing.

if only he could have a normal life, one that was not guided by money and crimes...

if only he could be able to feel things, such as happiness and love...

if only he could do the things he wanted, when he wanted to do them...

but sadly, this wasn't the life that had been assigned to him.

jisung was the heir to death park and he had to deal with it. whatever it implied.

⇄

"do you have the bottle?"

"yes." jisung replied nonchalantly, looking at the landscape outside of his window.

"very good."

his parents had fetched him at the dorm, and they were now heading towards the big villa which was the meeting point for death park's reunions.

they had been driving for almost an hour, and jisung knew very well that they were more than an hour away from that mansion. his ancestors weren't dumb: they had chosen a location hidden from curious eyes, but this meant that it was far away...

"dark danger has tried reaching us again." jisung's father declared, his eyes still fixed on the road ahead of him.

"what did they want?" jisung asked.

"i don't know. but they were closer than ever. i think they killed one of the hoes form the hooker bar we owned in busan." his mother continued. "but we'll need to ask heesun tonight. he was there when it happened apparently."

dark danger.

jisung had heard of them way too much to his liking in his past 19 years of existence.

they were death park's main rivals.

apparenly, they wanted to take over death park to become the biggest and most powerful mafia in korea. but jisung's family would never let them take over their mafia. death park was the biggest mafia in korea, and things would stay that way – as long as jisung's father was leading it, at least.

"you have to be more careful, jisung." his mother, aera, warned.

"i am careful." jisung nodded. "plus, how could someone think of me as a mafia member? i'm an idol."

"i'm not talking about that." aera sighed. "you know that you're going to be 20 soon, and this means that you'll have to do more things for the mafia. you'll also start learning how to rule this whole criminal organisation."

"can't we wait until i'm done with my idol career?" jisung asked, his eyes rolling to the back of his head at the thought of more illegal work for him. "my manager says you're taking too much of my time."

"jisung, we had warned you that this wasn't going to be easy." his father joined the discussion, glancing at his son through the inner rear mirror.

"i'm not complaining because it's too hard." jisung informed. "i can manage both very well, i have absolutely no problem with that."

"then why are you complaining?" aera asked, turning around.

"because my managers think my parents are too present in my life, and that this will compromise my career." jisung told, making both adults sigh in unison.

a silence followed this conversation, allowing jisung to concentrate on the outside landscapes again while his parents thought about how to deal with this new problem.

"we could always ask the ceo of your company directly." insu declared, looking at his wife.

she nodded in agreement. "and we could get a bit of money from him as well. that's not stupid."

"yes, that's stupid." jisung interrupted them. "a scandal is the last thing i need right now."

"then, do you have another solution?" his father asked. "because i'm not letting you forget about your duties just to sing and dance on a stage in front of thousands of mad girls."

jisung sighed, switching his phone on and looking at his lock screen: a picture of him and the 22 other nct members, having a meal together.

how much he wanted to have a simple family, like this one, in which no murders were involved...

"i'll find a way, don't worry..."

just so you know, this is how i imagined the "small metallic objects representing a skull" that are the symbol of 'death park' to look like

they're like the signature of the mafia, and each time they make an intervention somewhere, they leave one of those or they give one to the people they are threatening to mark their territory and make sure everyone knows that they are involved