From what I remember of my early Jedi training days, it required more tuning in with the Force, understanding it. Feeling it through my veins.

Dark Side training is literally the opposite. It's more about physicality, less about the Force, though it's not going to be left out. The Force can be wielded by the Light and the Dark, it doesn't belong to just one side.

With no check-ins with Snoke, I feel more at ease, though still guarded and keeping up my Dark Side front. It's deceptive, what I'm doing. I'm trying to earn Ben's trust through training under him. I'm risking my life trying to pull him back to his old self.

Though I'm not sure of the lengths Ben Solo would go to if I fell to the Dark Side, I know he would find a way. Then how come I hadn't known? How did I miss the signs? How did he hide it so well? Did Luke know?

I decide to get some solo training in by going to the room on my own. I find the rods break evenly in half and can be put back together. Instead of using one as a normal saber, I split it into two, holding one in each hand. Two sabers. Now there's a potentially lethal and dangerous idea. I'd heard of Jedi who wielded two sabers, or a double. None of the Padawans I had trained with ever got to reach that level of skill, they were taken too soon to get the opportunity to learn.

I pretend to deflect blaster fire from imaginary Stormtroopers. Imagine if I got swept up in this endless war...

In a way, I suppose I am, joining the First Order, even if it is for a risky and selfish reason. But I won't be around long enough to engage in a battle. I'm here for Ben, to bring him back. That's it.

At the sound of actual blaster fire, I put a rod in front of my face. I jump as sparks explode from impact. Frowning, I keep the rods at my sides. The orange-haired man from before—General something—has interrupted my session.

"General," I say bitingly.

The general returns the bitter smile. "Does Ren know you're practicing?"

"I'm allowed access whenever I want."

"That doesn't answer my question."

My grip tightens on the rods. "Currently, no, he's not aware. I wanted to warm up before we start for the day." My brows furrow. "Is there something you need, General? I don't know where Kylo Ren is, I didn't encounter him this morning."

"Clearly, if he's unaware of you being here." Hands behind his back, the general steps deeper into the room.

"You're not wise to shoot blaster fire at me." I raise my chin.

"Just wanted to see how good your reflexes are."

"Uh-huh. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're up to something."

"You may have the Supreme Leader's benefit of the doubt, but I'm watching you, Amara Galavan." The general's eyes squint. "If there is some undercover ploy you're trying to pull over on us, we will find out."

I smile. "General Sux—"

"Hux," he coughs.

"Sorry, we've only met once. Sometimes I forget people's names."

"Yes, on purpose, I'm sure."

"General Hux," comes Ben's booming tone. "Do you require Miss Galavan for any reason?"

Hux turns to Ben. "No, sir."

"Then why are you still here? Unless you have authority to be training, I suggest you go back to the bridge."

"Of course." Miffed, General Hux leaves. Ben gives his retreating figure a dirty look.

"I was having fun with him," I feign hurt.

"Do not mess with anyone, Miss Galavan. This is not a joke."

"Really, you want to be formal with me?" I raise a brow. "You can say my name, Kylo, it's not a sin."

"Why is there a scorch mark?" Ben nods down to one of the rods.

"Hux shot a blaster bolt at me, to 'check my reflexes.'"

Ben's expression grows darker. "He didn't hurt you, I'm assuming?"

"No, but he did interrupt me. It's a good thing you didn't give me a saber just yet, I would have made a good threat with it."

Ben removes his cloak—I'm not sure why he wears it anyhow, he doesn't wear the mask around me anymore. The cloak just gives someone reason to pull him back with it if they chose to. Like every time before, he reaches out for a rod. He uses it as a normal saber, I remain with my two smaller rods.

Without a signal, we duel.

While there is no intent to harm each other, there are some close calls, which comes with every practice. Ben might be close to knocking me unconscious with a blow to the back of my head, or I'll nearly get a hit on his windpipe. Our duels aren't clean or graceful; they're sloppy, fueled by the survival instinct. It doesn't matter how sloppy it is as long as it keeps you alive.

"You seem to take to two well," Ben comments. I twirl a rod in my hand. "If we can manage it, you can have two sabers."

"You wouldn't be jealous?" I throw a teasing smile.

"I don't need to be, mine is part of me."

I roll my eyes. "The one thing Jedi and Sith share is the whole 'weapon is your life, weapon is part of you' stance."

"I haven't necessarily called myself a Sith, I'd prefer to think of myself simply as a Dark Side user. Besides, a weapon does not make a warrior, their skill and power does."

As one rod swings in for Ben's face, the momentum abruptly halts. Ben has not grasped my arm, preventing me from striking him. The...the Force is holding my arm in place, rod inches from Ben. That's a new trick. Frustrated, I try to gain control of my arm.

In fact, I now realize, my body is frozen in place. My eyes can move just fine, but the rest of me is immobile. He certainly didn't learn this at the Academy.

"Cheat," I snarl, peeved.

"You can learn this, too. I can teach you how. You need to start taking this seriously."

"I do."

"No, you think this is a game. You think trying to bruise each other with rods is child's play. Tell me, Amara, will it be child's play when you're dead? Will it be when you're thrust out into a real battle, with people trying to kill you?"

Oh boy, we took a sharp turn down Dark Lane. I swallow, unsure of where this rant is going. Ben steps out of my reach, a grimace on his face. "I am taking this seriously, Ren."

He cocks his head. "I suppose there's one way to find that out." He moves back towards me, a hand outstretched.

What I feel makes Snoke's invasion of my mind feel like a tickle. Ben's digging is painful, like his hands are on my brain and squeezing, scratching for any details he can find. I don't know what he's searching for.

"You're afraid," he whispers, almost in a snarl. "You're on a precipice, teetering. You don't want to take the leap. Your words are hollow, empty, when you say you want to learn. They're hollow because you're afraid. There's no need to be. Once you take that first leap, it makes things much easier."

Get out, Ben. Get out of my head. I hope he doesn't start poking around the Academy nightmare. If he makes that come to the surface...

"Give yourself to the dark, Amara. It won't reject you. It will embrace you, just as you will embrace it. Don't let the past hold you back."

"I-it's not—"

"I'm in your head, it's pointless to lie to me."

He's invading my privacy. This is violation. Push him out! Though the second I try and resist, the pain increases fivefold. If this doesn't stop soon, Ben's use of the Force to still me where I stand will be the only reason I remain upright. So far, no black spots sprinkle my vision.

"Holding onto the past prevents you from moving into the future. Don't let it pull you away."

Let me go, please. I'm not fond of being held by the Force like this. Immobile. It's like someone has taken over my controls and won't let me back into the driver's seat.

"Don't be afraid of the dark, Amara." Ben's tone is soft. "It only wants to help you succeed."

The second the pressure releases me, I buckle to the floor, dropping the rods in the process. My head throbs painfully. Ben stands in front of me.

He's right, I fear the dark. I fear slipping in and caving. I must give him the impression that I'm embracing the dark, that I want this. But will that effort require actually crossing into uncharted territory?

As the pain subsides, the violated feeling that still lingers in my chest rises. With a subtle gesture, I Force Ben off his feet. He lands smoothly as I gather off the floor. I ignore the rods, flinging him again. This time, his landing is not so graceful.

"You will not do that to me again," I hiss. "You will not violate me in that way ever again!" A burst of Force energy explodes from my hands. It's strong enough to pin Ben to the wall. With my heart pumping, I skulk towards him, keeping him against the wall for as long as possible. "If you try, I will push back. I am your student, not your prisoner! No, no, you stay put. I want to hear it from your mouth. You will never pry into my mind ever again."

"Amara—"

"I want to hear it," I repeat sternly. "Now."

"All right, all right!" he roars. "I won't dig through your mind ever again."

I squint in suspicion. "I don't believe you. You're saying it so I'll let you down. Try again. I need to believe it. If we are going to be training together, lines need to be drawn. This one is being drawn right now and will remain drawn forever."

"Amara Galavan, I swear on all the stars of the galaxy, I will not pry into your head ever again."

I regard him, still annoyed, but repeat his words. Hearing the emotion and passion behind them. If he lies and does this again, he'll wish I only use the Force against him.

I lower my hand, and Ben peels off the wall, landing on his feet.

"I believe we're done for now," he rasps. "You're left to your own devices. And just so you know, I could have gotten myself out." He smirks.

I fume as he leaves the training room. He did this all to piss me off?! I let out an angry shout, and the rods from the floor bounce from my Force energy. Looking down, the rods still. Light sweat breaks out on my forehead, which is throbbing out of frustration now.

Once I intake a breath, the realization hits me. Ben didn't pry into my head to piss me off...

He did it to prove a point, that I can embrace the dark.