Chapter 8

Matapos ang insidenteng iyon ay naging mas malapit kami ni Calix sa isa't isa. For the past two weeks, we'd been hanging out like old friends... or even more than that.

Inihahatid niya ako tuwing umaga bago siya dumiretso sa opisina nila. Sinusundo niya rin ako lagi, at pag-uwi namin ay siya pa ang nagluluto.

Hindi rin muna ako umuwi sa amin. Pakiramdam ko ay kailangan kong lumayo muna sa pamilya ko. Calix did a great job of diverting my attention away from my problems. Hindi rin naman tumawag si Mama sa akin. I knew she was aware that I needed more time.

"Ano na, 'te? Dalawang araw pa lang wala si Calix, ang tamlay mo na agad," pansin ni Yesha sa akin nang mahuli akong nakatulala sa opisina.

Napanguso ako. I checked my phone and scoffed when I didn't get a reply from Calix. I texted him an hour ago, but he was probably too busy to reply.

"Mag-oorder na lang ba ulit ako mamaya ng dinner? Tinatamad akong magluto," tanong ko kay Yesha. "Tagal mag-reply. Ano kayang ginagawa no'n?"

Umupo siya sa couch at nginisian ako.

"Someone's being clingy..." pang-aasar niya. Inismiran ko siya bago ako tumayo rin para maupo sa tapat niya.

Wala na akong masyadong ginagawa. I checked through all my inpatients already. Wala ring naka-schedule na outpatients.

I sighed heavily as I leaned back on the couch. Unlike general practitioners, psychiatrists didn't always have a hectic schedule, at least until someone was brought in because they were experiencing a psychotic episode or mental breakdown.

Every day, I had to make rounds to see how my patients were doing, confer with other medical professionals, and schedule meetings to review the most urgent therapies and medications. Minsan ay professors at resident doctors ang kasama ko. Madalas naman ay ang nurses at inters. I trained the interns by asking their opinions on a particular clinical case.

At ngayon, tapos na ako sa lahat.

"Katamad," bulong ko. "Hipsters tayo mamaya?" tukoy ko sa nightclub na madalas naming puntahan. "Isama mo si Mark. Dalawang linggo ko nang hindi nakikita 'yon."

"Nagre-review yata siya para sa finals," she replied. "Christmas break na nila three weeks from now."

I sighed. Hindi maganda ang pasok ng Disyembre sa akin. Isang linggo kasing mawawala si Calix dahil may tripping siya sa Vigan. I didn't ask about the details because I knew I wouldn't understand even a fraction of it. Wala naman kasi akong alam sa day-to-day work ng Real Estate Agents. Basta kapag tripping, ang alam ko ay i-che-check nila ang property.

Wala rin akong ibang mapaglibangan sa bahay dahil kahit si Matcha ay isinama niya! I told him to leave the dog with me, but he knew I'd be too busy, so he rejected my offer. And since he'd be gone for a week, he couldn't leave Matcha at the ramen shop as well.

Aso dapat ang nagbabantay sa bahay pero si Matcha ngayon ang binabantayan!

"Pero pwede kitang samahan mamaya," pagpayag ni Yesha. "Girls' night out!"

I grinned. "Sana naman ay hindi ma-extend ang shift mo. Favorite ka yata ni Dr. Santiago, eh." Tumawa ako. "That old man really knows how to irritate you."

"'Di ba?!" ekseheradang pahayag niya. "At hindi lang ako ang iniinis no'n! Kahit si nurse Kaycee! He likes belittling nurses. Kaunti na lang ay papatulan ko na 'yon."

"As you should," I responded. "Hindi naman porke isa siya sa mga pinakamatataas dito, may karapatan na siyang umarte nang gano'n, 'no?"

Tumango-tango siya. "Immune naman na ako ro'n, kaso 'yong ibang interns..." Ngumuso siya. "Maiba tayo, kailan ba ang uwi ni Calix? Baka buong linggo mong guluhin ang buhay ko."

"Five days pa," malungkot na sagot ko. "Ang boring sa bahay."

Inirapan niya ako. "Girl, you've been living there all alone for years! Ni wala pang isang buwan mong naging tenant 'yan. 'Yong ibang landlord, masaya kapag wala 'yong tenant nila, tapos ikaw?! God!"

"Hoy, dalawang taon kaya ako sa America dahil sa residency ko! At saka may naging tenant naman ako dati!"

"Umuuwi-uwi ka naman dito, at three months mo lang naging tenant 'yon!" She scoffed. "Your relationship with Calix is getting weird."

"Huh? Bakit naman?"

"Doc, you're never affectionate. You enjoy keeping a low profile around men you're dating. Sabi mo pa nga dati, 'di ba?" She straightened her back. "Yesha, 'wag mong ipaparamdam sa lalaki na gusto mo siya. Keep him guessing to keep his desire burning. That way, you'll be able to tell if he's serious about you." Ginaya niya pa ang boses ko.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, just to be clear, I didn't tell Calix I liked him."

"Pero ipinaparamdam mo! You texted him first!"

I gasped. "How the fuck did you know that?!"

Umirap siya. "Duh! Kanina ka pa tingin nang tingin sa cellphone mo. At sinabi mo kanina na matagal siyang mag-reply!"

"Eh, paano mo nalaman na ako ang nauna?!"

She smirked. "Instincts."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin, pero agad na natunaw iyon nang mag-vibrate ang cellphone ko. In an instant, a smile rose on my lips, and it widened when I saw it was Calix.

"Oh my god, Vina! You're doomed!"

Hindi ko pinansin ang pang-iinis ni Yesha at agad na binuksan ang text message ni Calix.

From: Calix Dylan

Good afternoon. I'm sorry I didn't reply right away. Ang haba ng nilakad namin, at ngayon ko lang nahawakan ang cellphone ko. Are you done with your work? I can contact Enzo's Ramen to deliver meals to your place if you don't have much to eat for dinner.

"Maghintay ka naman ng limang minuto bago ka mag-reply!" sigaw ni Yesha.

Umiling ako. "Baka bitawan niya ang cellphone niya! Hindi magtutuloy-tuloy ang usapan namin."

To: Calix Dylan

It's okay! I'm planning to go to the club tonight with Yesha. Sino ang mga kasama mo?

Narinig ko ang pag-buntonghininga ni Yesha kaya sinamaan ko ulit siya ng tingin.

From: Calix Dylan

Si Rod lang at 'yong seller. Anong oras ka aalis? Kayong dalawa lang?

I smiled. I could picture him sitting on his bed while typing those messages to me. He was probably dressed in his usual black or white T-shirt, and his hair was in a man bun.

To: Calix Dylan

Rod? 'Yong nasa ramen house din? Real Estate Agent din pala siya.

Tumayo ako at lumipat sa swivel chair ko. I was so focused on my phone. Hindi naman ako nabigo dahil mabilis siyang sumagot.

From: Calix Dylan

You remembered him?

I was about to reply when I received another message from him.

From: Calix Dylan

He's my business partner. He's getting married next year.

I rested my back on the chair. Inirapan ako ni Yesha bago siya lumabas ng opisina ko.

To: Calix Dylan

Sana all?!

Pagka-send na pagka-send ko ng message ay agad na nag-ring ang cellphone ko. Halos mabato ko iyon sa gulat. Calix was calling!

I took deep breaths before accepting his call.

"Hello?"

I pressed my lips together to keep a smile from coming out. Mukha akong tangang kinikilig dahil lang sa isang hello!

"Hi..." I replied.

Narinig ko ang pa-buntonghininga niya mula sa kabilang linya.

"Anong oras kayo aalis ni Yesha?" mahinang tanong niya.

I swiveled my chair and turned to face the window. The sky was overcast. The sun was hidden beneath the clouds, like a pulse ashamed to be seen and heard. Outside, the trees and plants completed the picture-perfect scene. May mga pasyente ring naglalakad sa garden kasama ang nurses nila. It was a sight to behold.

"I don't know. Baka mga 9 p.m."

"Uh... Mag-iingat ka... kayo." He chuckled a bit. "Mahirap makahanap ng signal dito. I will contact you if I can."

Napangiti ako. "Okay. Hindi ba dapat nagpapahinga ka na?"

Sandali siyang natahimik. Lalo akong sumandal sa upuan ko para mas marinig siya. Nanlalamig ang mga kamay ko dahil sa labis na kaba. Hindi ko alam. The thought of hearing his voice thrilled me. Pakiramdam ko ay may sarili kaming mundo.

"Nagpapahinga ako, Vina."

My face heated. I tucked the strands of my hair behind my ears and bit my lower lip to keep myself from screaming like a pig.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal nag-uusap. We talked about our work, and I learned that they were trying to sell a ten-hectare plot of land. I guess that they would receive a lot of money if the transaction was successful. Bukas din darating ang prospect buyer nila kasama ang geodetic engineer at ilang tauhan.

Siya at ang ka-partner niya ang nag-aasikaso ng mga papeles. May kakilala na silang attorney kaya mas nakatitipid sila sa pagpapa-notaryo.

Ikinuwento ko naman sa kanya ang update tungkol kay Michael, minus the confidential details. We listened to each other attentively before I told him I had to go home. We said our goodbyes, and I felt like walking through the clouds.

Nagkasundo kami ni Yesha na sa Hipsters na magkita. Nagbihis lang ako ng metallic silver halter top at black miniskirt. I wore it with my classic block-heel leather sandals. I also swept my hair behind my back, revealing its beachy waves that added a voluminous touch to my appearance. The blonde highlights were starting to fade, so I made a mental point to have it dyed again soon.

Nang makarating sa club ay namataan ko agad si Yesha na nakaupo sa tapat ng bar counter. And she wasn't alone! Napasimangot ako. Kahit nakatalikod ay kilalang-kilala ko ang lalaki! Akala ko ba ay may exam siya?

"Hoy, Mark!" walanghiyang bati ko sa pamangkin. "Ba't ka nandito? Ang sabi ni Yesha ay malapit na ang finals mo, ah?!" Pinatayo ko siya at pinalipat sa kabilang stool para mapag-gitnaan ko sila.

Mark grunted. "Ang epal naman..."

Tumawa si Yesha kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Bad influence ka!" saad ko sa kanya. Hinarap ko si Mark at pinanliitan ng mata. "Ikaw naman, isang yaya lang nitong babaeng 'to, oo ka agad!"

He grinned. "Tama ka d'yan!"

I rolled my eyes before calling the bartender. Wala naman na akong magagawa. I ordered drinks for the three of us. We also looked for a table and settled in. Yesha and Mark were frantically flirting with each other! Kanina pa ako umiismid, pero wala silang pakialam!

Girls' night out, my ass!

"Stop worrying, Tita. Tapos na 'kong mag-review sa dalawang subject. Marami pa akong oras," bulong sa akin ni Mark. "At saka, ayoko muna sa bahay. Alam mo naman si Mama..."

"Bakit? Pinagalitan ka?"

He shook his head. "Hindi na nila ako kinakausap ni Papa." Mahina siyang tumawa. "They know that I was on your side."

My heart warmed. May kakampi ako... at laging siya iyon.

"Limang araw pang wala si Calix. Gusto mo ba... sa bahay ka muna? Ako na ang bahala sa allowance mo. Ang hirap gumalaw sa inyo n'yan kung hindi ka kinakausap nina Kuya," suhestyon ko. "You can sleep in my room. Malaki naman ang couch sa sala."

He chuckled. "Seryoso ka ba? First time mong mag-offer, ah? At kailan ko ba pwedeng makausap 'yang si Calix?"

Umirap ako sa kanya. "Ano namang sasabihin mo ro'n? Baka mamaya ay siraan mo pa ako!"

"Titingnan ko lang kung deserve niya ba ang Tita ko." Muli siyang tumawa. "Sa bahay mo ako tutulog bukas. Kukunin ko lang ang uniform ko sa bahay."

Tumango ako at saka pinagmasdan ang dalawang kasama. I noticed how Mark treated Yesha, and somehow, it reminded me of... Calix. His yes glistened as he talked and laughed with her. Ganoon din si Yesha. He even made sure not to let their skin come into contact.

My heart softened at the sight, and so, I silently wished them happiness and serenity. They deserved it. They deserved those quiet, shy smiles, bright eyes, and soft chuckles after a long day.

Matapos ang dalawang oras na pagkukwentuhan at pag-iinom ay umingay ang paligid. I thought it was because of the DJ's sultry remix, but when the girls shrieked, I realized it wasn't.

"Ano'ng meron?" tanong ni Yesha.

I shrugged. "Samahan mo ako sa restroom. Busy ang lahat. Baka wala masyadong tao ro'n."

Tumayo ako at akmang tutulak na patungo sa banyo nang humarang sa daan ko ang matipunong dibdib ng isang lalaki. Napasinghap si Yesha.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at hindi ko naitago ang gulat ko nang makita si Liam. He was smiling while looking at me.

Napaawang ang labi ko nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko. Hinigit niya ako patungo sa isang VIP room, at rinig na rinig ko ang pagtawag nina Mark at Yesha sa pangalan ko. I was kind of dizzy. Nakita ko na lang na sumenyas si Liam sa kanila.

I pulled my hand away from him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Easy!" He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Liam, I already made it clear to you, 'di ba? Ayoko ng ingay. Ayoko ng kahit na anong koneksyon sa 'yo."

He exhaled.

"Ngayon, mababalita ka panigurado. You didn't even put on a disguise!" I scolded him. "What the hell are you thinking?!"

"I'm sorry... Bumisita ako sa bahay mo pero wala ka roon kaya naisip kong nandito ka," sagot niya.

Umupo ako. Bukod sa kaunting musikang pinapatugtog sa labas ay wala na akong ibang naririnig. He sat down next to me. Medyo lumayo ako dahil ayaw kong magdikit ang mga balat namin.

"Ayoko, Liam," I stated.

Inobserbahan ko ang reaksyon niya at kita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa mga mata niya. He'd been pursuing me for months. I first saw him at a photo shoot for his medical drama in Procare Hospital. That time, his gaze remained fixed on me even though he was with his on-screen partner. It was exciting at first, but the spark faded when I realized that I was just drawn by his appearance.

Isa pa, being with him means popularity... and I don't want that.

"Kahit isang buwan lang, Vina..." he pleaded. "One month to prove myself to you. Kapag hindi pa rin, lalayuan na kita. Just please... let's give it a try. I really, really like you." Ramdam ko ang sinseridad sa tinig niya. "Kung ayaw mo ng ingay, I can focus on my other businesses. I will leave the spotlight. We can work it out."

"Liam!" gulat na pahayag ko. "You've worked so hard for that!"

"Vina, I like you so much I can give up everything for you!" frustrated na sagot niya. "Kung ayaw mo ng ingay, lalayo tayo sa ingay. Kung ayaw mo ng gulo, I will use all my connections to stop the media."

I closed my eyes tightly. I was holding my shit together because I knew he'd be hurt if I opened my mouth.

"Just a month, Vina... I'll give up after a month. Wala akong photoshoots, tapings, at endorsements. Ibinakante ko ang isang buwan para makapag-focus sa 'yo. Please, give me a month."

"I don't need you to do that, Liam." Binuksan ko ang mga mata at tinitigan siya. Sana ay mabasa niya sa mga ito na hindi ko talaga gusto ang nangyayari. I think he'd be a great friend, but I couldn't see myself dating him. "Hindi ka tanga. Alam kong alam mo kung bakit hindi ko sinasagot ang mga tawag mo." I took a deep breath. "'Wag mong aksayahin ang oras mo sa 'kin. A lot of women wanted to date you. Just give it a try... Malay mo."

Umiling siya. "You're the one I like. 'Wag mo naman akong itaboy."

Lalo akong tumitig sa kanya. I was hoping to feel something for him, like I did for Calix. I was hoping for a rush of adrenaline and a sense of security. I waited and waited... but it never came.

Liam was in front of me, but all I could think about were the nights I used to have with Calix—the way he patted my head to tell me I was doing a great job, the way he cooked for me and asked about my day.

And it wasn't fair for Liam. Alam kong seryoso siya sa akin. He was a gentleman, too. Unlike my other suitors before, hindi siya mayabang. But I couldn't force my feelings.

Just because he likes me doesn't mean I have to like him back.

"May gusto akong iba, Liam..." I confessed.

He was taken aback. Umawang ang labi niya at kita ko ang paglatay ng sakit sa mukha niya. He looked away and sighed.

"I don't want to be unfair to you," dagdag ko pa.

He blinked. "Dahil ba sa mas oras siya sa 'yo?"

Umiling ako.

"Dahil mas mayaman?" Lumiit ang boses niya.

"Do you think I care about that?"

"I'm sorry," agap niya agad. "I just... I couldn't..." Paulit-ulit siyang bumuntong-hininga.

"You weren't just saying that to get rid of me, right?" he asked.

Nakaramdam ko ng hilo pero nagawa ko ulit umiling sa kanya.

"May nagugustuhan talaga ako, Liam... at gusto ko siya... gustong-gusto ko siya..."