Jude gripped the wooden armrests of his chair with white knuckles, trying to swallow his flight instinct along with the sour taste of bile in his throat.

He could grab the package and bolt from Mr. Lenser's office—then, if the professor wanted to accuse him, he would have no proof. Except...how long did fentanyl remain detectable in the body? Jude had no clue. He felt like an amateur drug addict, lacking such basic knowledge about his trade.

The package was perched on the desk beside him, but Lenser's relaxed hand lay inches from it, guarding it like a slumbering dragon. It was looking like Jude was backed into a corner with no hope of a clean escape.

The professor's lips parted. Jude stared, aware that he probably looked like a deer in headlights—and very much like a twitchy, withdrawing drug addict.

The man spoke plainly. "The way I see it, there are two ways to proceed here."

There was a long pause; the silence thundered in Jude's ears.

"You deny that this is yours"—he tapped the package—"and I'll be forced to report it to administration. I'll tell them when and where I found it, they'll check security cameras, the K9 police unit will arrive...and before long, whoever it does belong to will be behind bars in a fashionable new orange jumpsuit."

Jude tried to take a deep breath, but it seemed to get caught somewhere in his lungs.

"Second option: you admit it belongs to you." Lenser cleared his throat. "Now, understand that I don't want to send one of my students to prison. But I also cannot condone this." He wrapped his calloused fingers around the package, his expression hardening. "Meaning you'd have to agree to a few terms.

"So, which is it?"

Jude's eyes sunk to the floor and lingered there, Lenser's stair pressing heavily upon him.

"That depends on the terms." The words rasped from Jude's parched throat.

"Fair enough. For one, I'd like you to show up to my class every week...and try."

Unless it happened to fall on the date of a full moon, and only until the school kicked him out for forgoing tuition payments.

"Right," Jude replied, a false note in his voice. The professor's eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"You're wasting away, you look like you haven't slept in a week, and you smell...like you're in dire need a shower. I'd like to know that you're taking care of yourself. The college can help with some of—"

"Fine." The word came out in a low growl. Agitation was clawing along Jude's nerves.

"I'm also thinking weekly meetings with a college counselor, and maybe even drug tests."

Jude raked his trembling fingers through his unkempt hair. Even if he stayed clean all month except the night of the full moon, he had a feeling the huge amount of narcotics injected on that one day would take a while to be completely filtered from his body.

On the other hand, he sure as shit couldn't go to prison. Jude flinched as vivid imaginings of himself transforming and advancing on his cornered cellmate rushed through his mind.

 Ironically, going to prison would only make him more of a criminal.

"No drug tests," Jude said, meeting his teacher's eyes with a fierce glare.

Lenser sighed, leaning back in his chair. "That's your only stipulation? You know how that comes off, right? It screams 'I'm going to keep taking drugs.'"

For a long moment, they stared each other down. Lenser's deep brown eyes were unyielding, and Jude's itched to flit away.

"The terms aren't negotiable, Jude. You understand the opportunity I'm giving you, right?" The professor shifted to lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His voice became hushed. "I shouldn't be doing this at all. But I think you deserve a chance not to have your life ruined by one idiotic mistake. Whatever catalyst there was for you to turn to drugs...it can be sorted out other ways. There's always help available..."

His teacher's voice faded away. Jude's veins were burning with molten fury, his breaths coming in huffs. Lenser had no idea what he was talking about—as if it all boiled down to some simple, ordinary problem that could be fixed with a little talk therapy. Without drugs, Jude was an unwitting killer, his body the vessel for unspeakable evil. He couldn't live with himself if he ever killed again. And he couldn't control himself without drugs.

But, as much as he didn't want to admit it to himself...maybe the drugs were also controlling him.

An odd scraping sound heaved Jude's thoughts from the turbulent sea of his mind. 

Lenser was staring at the floor, the whites of his eyes popping out with shock. Jude looked down and spotted two sizable piles of splintered wood on either side of him. He froze. With horror, Jude realized he'd been scraping at his chair's armrests with his fingernails, whittling away chunks of the wood—a plainly inhuman action.

He immediately drew his arms to his chest and rose from his chair. A shuddering breath escaped his lips. He needed to leave; the levee holding back his instinct to flee was breaking.

"I'll do it," he said without thinking. "You have my word, I'll do it all."

Lenser still look alarmed, but he gave a polite smile. "Thank you."

Jude hesitated at the entrance of his cubicle, suddenly remembering the rather large package of drugs in the room and wondering what would become of it.

Lenser seemed to guess his question. To Jude's utter disbelief, his professor tossed the package at his head. Jude caught it with suspiciously fast reflexes an inch from his face. Before Lenser could change his mind, he tucked it safely into his coat.

A strange flash of realization seemed to pass over the man's features, swiftly masked by a neutral expression. "I can't go walking around with that," he explained, "and I assume you know exactly where to get more of it, anyway. The decision to quit is yours alone. No one else can do it for you."

Jude said nothing, beginning to edge out of the cubicle. 

"I was looking forward to having you in my class again, Jude," Lenser told him. "You've got a great mind. Now use it."

The man managed to sound caring and calculative at once. Jude gave a slight nod, then drifted out of the office area. On his way, he shot a brazen smile at Karen, who looked as deeply offended as ever. Then Jude found himself alone in the hallway, feeling oddly disoriented—unable to fully process what had happened, and entirely exhausted.

Now, only to find somewhere to spend the night. Again.

_________

P.S. will be adding songs for each chapter/Jude's playlist! though my taste is probably not for everyone