CHAPTER TWO
Blocking punches

EDEN WAS NOT A VERY PUNCTUAL PERSON, so it surprised nobody when she showed up to the Slat at nine bells instead of eight. She looked like she had just rolled out of bed, and that's because she did. She had an automatic alarm set for eight forty-five just to be sure that she didn't sleep in, and had forgotten to set an earlier one the night before. So, when her eight forty-five alarm went off, she shouted a plethora of expletives, quickly ate the first thing in her fridge (pasta she had for dinner two nights ago), threw on a sweatshirt she had actually stolen from Kaz since she forgot to pack them when she ran away, and left. She didn't even have time to brush her hair, so she settled for running her fingers through it and pulling it up. It would have to do, as insecure as it made her feel.

     Kaz was waiting for her outside the Slat, dressed head to toe in a black suit. Impractical for training, she thought, but she knew better than to question him at this point. He was twisting his cane into the dirt, listening to the crunch. As she approached, he stopped and gave her his signature greeting — a sharp nod.

     "You're late."

     "Obviously."

     He narrowed his eyes, suspicious of her attitude. Despite her terrible time management, she was a morning person, and was usually extremely energetic. "When did you go to sleep last night?"

     "Late. I was up all night, too excited about today. Sleep is for the weak anyway."

     "Eden," he sighed, annoyance all over his face. "You will be unable to train if you're falling asleep."

     Slowly, a grin appeared on her face as the word train settled in her mind. "No need to worry about that, Brekker. The adrenaline will keep me awake." She began bouncing on her feet, unable to stay still, the anticipation starting to kill her. This is what she's been waiting for. "Can we please start now?"

     He nodded again and started walking away, Eden right behind him. He led her behind the Slat, where there was a clearing surrounded by tall, billowing trees, leaving the perfect secluded area to train. The grass was gorgeously manicured — a stark contrast to the grass everywhere else in Ketterdam, so this part of the land must be managed by Kaz too. There was a table that was really just a cardboard box set up in the center, where a knife and a gun sat.

     She practically ran over to it, about to grab the knife to admire it, when Kaz's cane appeared out of seemingly nowhere and stopped her from going any farther. He shook his head.

     "Why are they here if I can't touch them?"

     He pulled his cane away, bringing it back to his side. "For incentive. You do well, you get to practice stabbing a dummy." Her eyes went wide, but he gestured to the fabric practice dummy behind the table/cardboard box that she hadn't even noticed.

     Her hand flew to her heart. "Saints, Kaz. I thought you meant I'd be stabbing an actually dummy, as in someone who's dumb, and I was going to have a heart attack. Like, I'd do anything for you, but I draw the line at murder. Without reason, that is."

     "That's lesson two." He smirked and she laughed. "Lesson one, though, is about defense, not offense."

     She frowned. "Defense is boring."

"Defense is mandatory. You need to know how to protect yourself. If you attack someone and they get the upper hand, what will you do if you don't know how to defend yourself? You'll get hurt, more hurt than you would if you knew how to defend yourself."

"Good point. Proceed."

Air blew out of his lips as he forced his smile down. She had already gotten too many out of him, and she had barely been there for five minutes. Therein lied Kaz's problem — it was impossible to be Dirtyhands around her. It wasn't necessarily that he didn't want her to see that part of him, but more of that her mere presence expelled those survival instincts he had carefully crafted over the years away, like blowing dandelion seeds into the wind.

It made him incredibly anxious to know that he was at his weakest around her. It was a danger to everyone when he let his guard down... and yet, when Eden suggested training with him, he jumped at the chance. He was greedy for her, for the relief her company provided, consequences be damned.

He composed himself with a quick, hard blink. He could not do much more than that or she'd notice something was up, she knew him that well. "We're going to start with blocking punches." He leaned his cane against the table, cracking his knuckles through his gloves. "I am going to punch you, you are going to avoid it. From there, we can discern what needs to be worked on."

Her eyes shot open wide as he spoke. "What?! What if I don't move in time and you punch me in the face? This is a terrible idea, Kaz."

"I won't punch you in the face."

"You can't promise that!"

"Eden." He stepped closer. "Can I show you what it's going to feel like if I so happen to punch you?"

She furrowed her brows. "I guess so."

His leather-gloved hand fisted together. He pulled his arm back, as if he was going to punch her with all of his might, and then... a tap. She felt the slightest nudge where his hand met her shoulder, and she felt herself relax. Of course he wouldn't use his full strength.

She let out a deep breath, understanding and relief dawning across her features. "Oh, okay."

Kaz shook his head slightly with amusement. "Are you ready?" He asked, his hand trailing along the side of her arm on its path down before he abruptly dropped it to his side.

     Was she? Now that it was time, she was second-guessing it all. Everything she had done had led up to this moment. What if she wasn't good? What if everything she went through to get here ended up with her being a lousy fighter, and she'd end up toiling her life away in a makeshift triage tent in the sewer-smelling ports of Ketterdam?

     She shook out her arms and cracked her neck, blowing out another breath of air. "Fuck it," she said before she could change her mind. "Yeah. Let's do this."

     "I'm going to count down from five."

     "Great. I got this."

     "Yes, you do. Five —" Eden clenched her fists, "Four —" she raised her arms to block her body, "Three —" she planted her feet firmly, one in front of the other, and—

     Kaz's fist flew at her at the speed of light. Her arm rose in an attempt to block it, but she was too late. His fist collided with her upper arm and she groaned, not out of pain, but out of frustration. "I wasn't ready!"

     "In a real fight, you wouldn't have five seconds to prepare." Kaz smirked a little and she rolled her eyes. "You did well for your first try."

     "What do you mean? You still hit me."

     "Sure, but your arm moved to block me. Your reflexes are in tact, which is a promising sign."

     "What would you do if my reflexes weren't in tact?"

     His lips tipped up a little more. The way her brain worked always fascinated him. "I would be quite concerned, considering you managed to avoid it when Jesper threw a shoe at your head just a few days ago."

     "Fair point. Are you gonna punch me again or what?"

     As soon as Kaz said "Let's take a break," Eden collapsed onto the grass and curled herself up into a ball. After two hours of being practically beat up, she was not just physically exhausted, but mentally, too. She went for a run every day (or almost every day, she would forget sometimes), sure, but this amount of exercise all at once exceeded her workout quota for the next month.

     "I feel like I'm dying," she groaned, ignoring the way the grass tickled her nose as she hugged her knees.

     Kaz hit her shoe with his cane lightly. "Get up. We're going to get something to eat."

     "Brekker, I don't think I can move," she said, looking up at him. "You broke me."

     He rolled his eyes and checked his watch, moving his sleeve up as he did. Eden may be tired, but she wasn't tired enough to ignore the veins and muscles on his forearms. How did he have such contoured muscles on his skinny little arms? He was a toothpick! It had to defy the laws of anatomy, right?

      "If you're sure. I guess you'll have to miss the fresh cinnamon rolls from Gwendolyn's, seeing as it's just after noon and they must have just put them out."

     Oh, he didn't. "You are despicable." Gwendolyn's was a quaint bakery in the Financial District that she'd discovered within her second week of arriving to Ketterdam. Kaz was not a fan — it was vastly out of his budget — but Eden still had her father's money that she used sparingly and saved for splurging. She only went to Gwendolyn's once every two months, which was an extraordinary test of her patience.

     "Come on, fighter. Let's go."

     Neither Kaz nor Eden wanted to walk all the way to the Financial District, so they chose to take the one barely functioning train out of East Stave to get there. During the ride, she had to resist the urge to order a likely disgusting fountain drink from the waitress who kept asking them if they wanted anything to drink, and Kaz had to resist the urge to strangle her (Eden and the waitress).

     They spent the rest of the ride in silence, though. It wasn't awkward or tense or strange, which was the type of silence Eden couldn't stand. No, it was the comfortable kind. The kind where simply existing is just enough, neither participant forcing themselves into unwanted and stilted conversation. Kaz stared out the window while Eden doodled in her notebook, and that was it. There were no expectations, and it was the most safe she had felt in silence in a very, very long time.

     When they arrived at the bakery, Eden practically bounded through the door like an overexcited puppy. It smelled like croissants and cake and bread and everything good in the world, and she wanted to bottle the place's smell up to keep in her pocket for when she was sad. She ordered a slice of cheesecake, hot chocolate, and a couple of cinnamon rolls to take home, which would serve as her breakfast for the next few days. Kaz ordered himself a black tea and blueberry muffin, which was the single most boring, Dirtyhands meal he could have ordered.

     They sat down at a table in the corner, Kaz's cane rested up against the window. Eden immediately dug into her cheesecake, attempting (but failing) to eat it slowly to savor the taste. It was just too good. Kaz, on the other hand, didn't fail, to no surprise. He picked at his muffin with such preciseness that a bypasser would think he were a neurosurgeon giving an examination to someone's temporal lobe.

     She, of course, noticed this. "Is something wrong with your muffin?"

     Kaz furrowed his eyebrows. "No, nothing's wrong with it."

     "So why aren't you eating it?"

     He let a huff of air out through his nose, gave her a blank stare, but picked up the muffin anyway. He opened his mouth and took a big bite, and when he put it down, he put his hands up in defeat. "Better?"

     She grinned, but she didn't really feel it. He was so unexpressive sometimes, it could become exhausting. Deciphering what's going on in Kaz Brekker's head was harder than learning to fight, she thought. "Much." She took another bite of her cheesecake and continued speaking, ignoring the fact that her mouth was full. "Maybe you're not eating it because it's the most bland, sad order ever. I mean, who comes to Gwendolyn's and gets a blueberry muffin? Oh, and with a black coffee? That's insanity!"

     "Sometimes, simplicity is key."

     "Yeah, maybe at some nearly bankrupt cafe in the Barrel run by a gang member who has zero restaurant experience and is using for money laundering. Gwendolyn's, on the other hand, is for extravagance," she gestured around the place with her arms. "You could've gotten a blueberry Ravkan bundt cake with some kind of fun coffee-flavored frosting."

     "That sounds disgusting, Caddel. I'm perfectly satisfied with my muffin."

     "Sure." Eden narrowed her eyes, and looked over to the menu above the counter. Written in blue chalk against a blackboard was CHEESECAKE — FIFTEEN KRUGE, and underneath it was CINNAMON ROLL — TEN KRUGE. She shifted her eyes to the other board. HOT CHOCOLATE — FIVE KRUGE. Her eyes started to widen as she read Kaz's order: BLUEBERRY MUFFIN — TWO KRUGE and COFFEE (BLACK) — ONE KRUGE. She turned back to face him, eyes wide. "Kaz."

     "Hm?" He wiped his hands and crossed his arms on the table, as if he knew exactly what she was going to say. He always did.

     "Did you buy the cheap things on the menu so I could get expensive things without feeling bad?"

     He had planned out a response about forty seconds ago, as soon as he saw what she was doing. "No, but it's funny you think I would do that for you."

     Something similar to guilt settled in Kaz's stomach. Obviously he ordered that on purpose. He had been craving a double chocolate donut with caramel glaze for two weeks, but what was he supposed to do? He knew she'd never let him pay, so the least he could do was chose the items least likely to affect her savings. What if there was an emergency that required using her father's money, but she had none left because stupid, selfish Kaz bought a twelve kruge donut when he could've gotten something cheaper?

     It wasn't like the muffin was bad, either. It was perfectly spongy and sweet, but even if it was so dry that it was crumbling apart, he still wouldn't dare complain. The time he spent with her far outweighed the quality of the meal, but she couldn't know that. If she did, it would change their dynamic in unprecedented ways. If she didn't reciprocate his... feelings for her, he might lose her. And he'd do anything to ensure that never happened.

     Eden knew he was lying. She knew this was a defense mechanism, but what was she supposed to do? If he knew her heart had turned to mush for him, he'd retreat. She would no longer have access to Kaz Rietveld, however minuscule that part of him had become, and she'd be shut out. She didn't know how to exist in Ketterdam without him. She didn't know how to exist without him, period — which was definitely an issue, as she'd never been the type of person to be codependent on another. Being sheltered for her whole life was most likely the cause of that.

     So, she did what she did best, and plastered on another smile. "Ha ha. Fuck you." Then, once the tension had been eased and confrontation avoided, she reached across the table and took a piece of the muffin, shoving it in her mouth. "It's not bad, but you still should've ordered something else. Next time, I'm ordering something on your behalf, okay?"

     Next time. The guilt that had been sitting within Kaz dissolved, and he silently let out the breath he had been holding. There was going to be a next time. "Okay."

NOTE
Lol longest chapter I've ever written (also check out the new coveeerrrr lmk ur thoughts I'm not so sure about the background tbh)

I'm so sorry for the wait btw 😭😭 I had no inspo for a while but with the s2 date being announced my will to write has been rejuvenated!  ALSO if I'm getting kaz's inner voice wrong pls lmk I haven't read soc in a little over a year so I kinda forget??

Let me know what you thinkkkkkk ily thank u for being patient with me💌