Sorry everyone I'm a little depressed today. I think I'll feel better after watching some Mitch and Jerome, :). Anyway it's my birthday today, it was pretty cool. I'm fourteen now.

Well I'm gonna rant now so feel free to skip.
I was just thinking back to when I had friends, they were shitty friends. I fucking hate them, they screwed me up and now because of them I have a fear of people I can't even go to school properly. I'm depressed, I have social anxiety so bad that I need meds, I've been on suicide watch and I've had therapy from 3 different people, and somehow I'm still messed up. Sometimes I wish I'm dead and some times I fight it. I'm paranoid and scared of dark. I've been rejected, backstabbed, left alone, forgotten and stepped on. I cried so much I can't remember how to anymore. I write fanfictions because I imagine myself in their position, being loved, hugged, kissed, cuddled, praised, smiled at, holding hands, watching the sunset, laughing. But I'm not them, and my life isn't a fairy tale. Still I'm here, breathing and living. Why is my reason for living?
Two things 1. Youtubers, they changed my life for the better and worse and one day I hope to met them and thank them for saving me.
2. My family, even though we fight, scream and yell at each other I still love them. My mother is my other reason for living. I don't know what I would do with out her. Even though we are struggling to pay for rent and food, I wouldn't want anyone else as my mother. My sister too, she is a little dick but I love her too.

Anyways, thanks for reading this. <3 Love ya. Have a goodnight everyone, and sorry for this sad shit.
"But darlin' stay with me." <3