STEVE JOBS' POINT OF VIEW:

So I was just like, driving around town in my Apple car, and all of a sudden, this like, crazy weird scream from a man-baby just like... Landed in my ear. Yeah. That.

So I was like, you know what? I'm going to try out my newest app that I'll force everyone to have on their phones. It's called, Find my Man Baby

I was like, walking around with my phone but like, I needed to post for all my baes, so I took a selfie with the person closest to me and posted it to my insta, Facebook, Twitter, snap chat, Evernote, Pinterest, and a few others. Follow me! @SteveJobs

But then my life was like, totes my goats interrupted because like, heard the man-baby yell again. It sounded like a cat being strangled with plastic bag and sandpaper. I was like, there should totally be a voice changer app to that voice. That would be like, killer in the App Store.

Suddenly, like, my like phone started like, being weird, and I was like, we should totally send that out and pretend it's a bug, and not my fault, so people will buy my stuff. It was like, a stroke of genius.

Then I was sucked back into reality, (aw) where I heard the man-baby screaming. He had some lungs on him.

Donald: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH

I actually cringed. I looked through the the window into the house where I thought the screams came from. The man-baby was staring at me with his hideous man-baby face pressed against the glass. I let out an embarrassing scream, but luckily, I got a follower from my selfie from earlier, and my ringtone went off, covering my tracks. (My ringtone is the screaming goat) 

The first thing I said to the kid was, 

"Hey, ya ever played the trumpet? What's your name, son?"

He was like, "Donald" but didn't give me a last name.

So I was like, if I can teach this kid to play the trumpet, just think of all the popularity I'll get! I'll be a trillionaire!! Then this like, logic went off in my mind, and I was like, Donald, the trumpet player. He needs a last name. Hmmm... Trumpet... Donald... Donald... Trumpet... Trumpet. Trump-et. 

"EUREKA!! DONALD TRUMP!!!"

The kid stared at me with his mashed up face, and I realized it was permanently stuck like that because he had been waiting for someone to come see him in the window, and had his face pressed against it for so long, it stuck.

Then he said, "Ya gunna open the door or not, idiot?"

I like this kid already.