( PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE'S MAGICAL MENAGERIE )

OUTSIDE
[ ☾]

        Sam runs around a corner and hides behind a vehicle in a deserted light industrial area. Sam speaks out loud to himself. "It's okay. They can't hurt you. They can't hurt you. "If it bleeds, you can kill it." Yeah. "If it bleeds, you can kill it." He looks over the vehicle and sees a clown with green hair, yellow pants and a red jacket standing a short distance away.

      The clown laughs and runs towards Sam, who runs first towards a high fence and then to a door. The clown runs after him, raising its knees exaggeratedly high with each stride. Sam breaks open the door and bolts it behind him.

GARAGE
[ ☾]

       Sam moves some metal objects in front of the door and looks around the building, which is a large garage or workshop. He hears a crash behind him and turns to see the clown coming through the door, laughing.

       Sam starts to walk away from the first clown, but another clown, which is also laughing, has appeared in front of him. Sam stops and the second clown zooms closer.

Splotches of red, blue and green morph into the:
SUPERNATURAL
Colored glitter falls from the title.

PARK OR REST
AREA PARKING LOT
[ ☼ ]

       Sam is leaning against a Jeep reading a newspaper. Timestamp on screen: 60:00:00 Earlier 59:59:59 Earlier 59:59:58 Earlier 59:59:57 Earlier

       The phone in a nearby phone booth rings. Dean answers the phone. "Hello? "I am the eggman." Dean says. Sam smiles briefly. Dean rolls his eyes. Dean "Seriously, Frank, pay phones? I mean, come on. I – I'm getting the clap off this thing just touching it. Fred Savage? Really? Yeah, no, I know, big mouths are everywhere. Uh, well, since you asked, some actual intel on the Dick Roman guy would be nice. Fine. All right. Yeah, good looking out." The phone clicks as Frank ends the call.

       Dean hangs up, scowls at his hand and walks over to Sam. "I hope he finds something quick. This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese." He says.

       "So, we got dick on Dick?" Sam says.

       "That's a vivid way of putting it." Sam says. "You find anything on Wonder Woman?"

        "No. And there probably won't be. They are definitely gone. But..." Sam holds up the Wichita Sun. The headline is "Peculiar death baffles authorities." "I might have found something over in Kansas."

       "All right, well, let's do it. But, uh, a few simple rules, okay? No babies." Dean says and Sam smiles. "In fact, no baby mamas. No bars. No booze – no hot chicks of any kind." Dean says and they both look over at Elena who is fixing her shoe.

       "Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say—" s starts.

        "Hey. You spawn a monster baby, see how quick you want to dive back in the pool." Dean walks over to another car. A sign on a nearby building reads "Welcome to Idaho."

MORGUE
[ ☼ ]

       A Doctor pulls back a sheet from the body of a middle-aged man. The body is covered in circular raised sores of various sizes that appear to have been made by tentacles. Dean, Elena and Sam are wearing their FBI suits.

      "Ohh. Those are not the fun kind of hickeys." Dean says.

       "You're – you're saying an octopus did this?" Sam asks.

       "Not just any octopus. Based on welt diameter, enteroctopus dofleini." The Doc says.

       "And for those of us who skipped the enteroctopus class?" Dean says.

      "Giant Pacific octopus."

       "How giant we talking, Doc?" Dean asks.

       "Approximately 30 feet."

       Sam laughs briefly. "I mean, aren't... giant octopi rare around here?" He asks.

      "Yet here we are."

      "All right, so what happens? Guy comes home, cracks a beer, and gets... suckered to death?" Asks Dean.

      "Obviously, this was some kind of freak fetish attack. Someone created those hickey marks, then bled the man out." The Doctor turns the dead man's head to expose a wound on the side of his throat. Sam and Dean walk through the hallways.

       "That bite look a little vamp-y to you?" Elena asks.

       "Yeah, no question." Sam says.

       "So what are we looking for? An octovamp? A vamptopus?" Dean asks.

       "That's crazy even for us, right?" Sam asks.

       "It does push the envelope. Let's go chat up the widow."

WIDOW'S HOUSE
[ ☼ ]

       "We're very sorry for your loss, ma'am." Sam says.

       "Mrs. Harper, we know this is, uh, bad timing. But we just have a few routine questions that we need to ask you – is that okay?" Dean says.

       Mrs Harper, Sam, Elena and Dean are seated around a coffee table. Mrs Harper is holding a Kleenex. The rest have cups of coffee. "Yeah." Mrs. Harper says.

       "Did the house feel any different lately?" Sam asks.

       "Different...?"

       "Anything strange. Cold spots. Uh, did you smell anything weird? Maybe sulfury?" Asks Dean.

       "No. Not that I can remember." She says.

       "Okay, we're just ticking all the boxes here." Dean says. "Um, what about any skeletons in your husband's closet?"

       "Skeletons? What do you mean?"

       "Can you think of anybody who would want to do him harm? A colleague, an old flame." Elena says.

      "The tiniest detail could really help." Sam says.

      "You want to know what he was up to lately? Ask Stacey. She was here the night he died." Mrs Harper says.

       "Um... Stacey?" Sam asks.

       "Our nanny. Any other questions?"

       "No, that's... Thank you. You've been a big help." Dean says as he, Elena and Sam get up to leave.

       "Really appreciate the hospitality, ma'am." Sam says. A little girl watches from the top of the stairs as Dean and Sam leave the house.

       "Mom, dad, nanny – boy, that is a love triangle right out of Casa Erotica." Dean says. "'Course, in those, the jealous wife tends to channel her feelings more productively."

       "The only thing I can't wrap my mind around is—" Sam starts.

       "What, how wife lady summoned an octovamp?" Asks Dean.

        "More like "why?" I mean, kind of impractical, right?" Sam asks.

       "Yeah. All right, one of us needs to go talk to the naughty nanny." Dean walks around to the driver's side of the car. "The other one stay here, shake down the place when the wife leaves – see what we're dealing with."

       "All right. I'm on the nanny." Sam says.

       "I'm on the nanny." Dean says.

       "I thought you said no hot chicks."

       "We don't know that she's hot." Dean says and Sam gives him a look and walks off.

HOUSE
[ ☼ ]

       "Now, uh, how would you describe your relationship with the deceased?" Dean asks.

       "I don't know. Normal, I guess." The Nanny says.

       "Normal?"

       "Well, I mostly dealt with Debra. There was nothing going on, if that's what you mean." She says.

       "Debra said that you were at the house late the night that, uh, that Brian died." Dean says.

       "Yeah. Brian was working late, so I stayed with Kelly. She was pretty upset."

       "Why's that?" Asks Dean.

       "Well, it was her birthday. We had a party at Plucky's." The Nanny says.

       "Plucky's. Why does that sound familiar?" Dean asks.

        "Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie? Pizza chain for kids. Actually, more for lazy parents." She says. "Anyway, her dad showed up for five minutes, then he went back to work. And, of course, her mom was out of town. This stupid kid told Kelly her folks didn't really love her. She freaked. I was calming her down for hours."

       "Uh, did you...notice anything weird at the house?" Dean asks.

       "Weird like...?" The Nanny asks.

       "Anything. Even a bad feeling."

       "No, nothing like that. Actually, Kelly does have a weird thing about closets. But it's just kid stuff." She says.

       "Try me." Dean says.

       "She thinks there's a monster in her closet. It drives everyone crazy."

STREET
[ ☼ ]

       Dean is on the phone with Sam. "Hey, we talked to the wrong person." He says.

      "What?" Sam asks.

      "Yeah, forget the mom. Talk to the daughter. She's mad at her dad for ditching her birthday."

      "So, what do you think? A birthday wish gone wrong, something like that?" Asks Sam.

      "I don't know. It could be."

OUTSIDE MRS.
HARPER'S HOUSE
[ ☼ ]

       Sam and Elena are in the Jeep watching Kelly draw in chalk on the footpath outside the house. "I got a 20 on her right now." Sam says.

       "Can you get to her without tripping the Amber Alert?" Dean asks.

       "We'll try."

       Dean is about to get in the car. "All right, see what you can find out." He says.

       Kelly is drawing what appears to be an octopus on the footpath outside the house. "Whatcha working on there?" Elena asks.

      "I know who you are." Kelly says.

      "You do?" Asks Sam.

       "Mm-hmm. You're the people that talked to my mom."

       "That's right. We did." Sam says

       "Kelly! Where are you, honey?" Mrs Harper calls.

       "Something wrong?" Elena asks.

       "My mom will get mad if I talk to you."

        Sam crouches down in front of Kelly. "Um... How come?" He asks.

       "Because of what I told the police."

       "And what did you tell the police?" Asks Sam.

       "I told them that I tried to warn my dad. That the monster would get him." Kelly says.

       Mrs Harper opens the front door. "Kelly. Come here! Now! Kelly!" She yells and Kelly runs into the house. Mrs Harper looks unsmilingly at Sam and closes the door.

       Sam looks at the picture Kelly drew: an octopus with sharp teeth and an unfriendly expression. The camera pans in on the octopus's face.

PARK
[ ☾]

       A man wearing a bathrobe is running through the park, looking over his shoulder. He is being chased by a small white horse or pony. We see only its body, legs and the lower half of its head. It neighs.

       The man scales a fence and stands panting on the other side. After a moment, he leans close to the fence to listen for hoofbeats and then presses his back against the fence. He is impaled through the chest by what appears to be a horn.

       The horn withdraws and the man falls to the ground, dead. Over the fence, we see that the pony has a horn: it is a unicorn. A light runs up the horn from the base to the tip and there is a twinkling sound.

      The unicorn paws, rears, neighs and then canters away, with rainbows shooting from its tail.

GARAGE
[ ☾]

Timestamp: NOW

       The second clown approaches Sam, clapping its hands once. "Aah! Ha!" It screeches.

      Sam punches the second clown, then does a backwards kick at the first clown. "If it bleeds, you can kill it." He points his gun at the second clown as it laughs.

       He shoots the clown twice, sending glitter flying. The clown appears uninjured. Both clowns laugh. The second clown knocks the gun out of Sam's hand and punches him three times, sending Sam reeling towards the first clown.

       The first clown pushes Sam at the second clown, which catches Sam and holds him for the first clown to headbutt. Both clowns laugh maniacally.

PARK
[ ☼ ]

EARLIER

       Dean, wearing his FBI suit, examines the hole made in the fence by the unicorn's horn. An ambulance and a CSI officer are at the scene, and police siren wails.

       "Huh." Dean turns to the Police Officer. "Hey. Um... Okay, so, the horse I get. The hoofprints, the jumping over the fence. But, uh, what ran him through?" He asks.

       "Best thing I could tell you is something big."

       "So, what, like a lance?" Dean asks and The Police Officer shrugs. The deceased man's body, covered with a sheet, is rolled towards the ambulance on a stretcher. A woman is standing next to the ambulance.

       "It's sad. Lady's got to pull her friggin' 8-year-old out of school and tell him his dad's dead." The Officer says.

       "Excuse me." Dean walks towards the woman, who is being escorted away by another officer, and holds up his FBI badge. "Excuse me, ma'am? Agent Jones, FBI."

       "I'm sorry. I - I really need to go." She says.

       "Okay. Uh, just one quick question, if you don't mind." Dean says. "Um, was yesterday your son's birthday?"

       "Billy's birthday? No. Why would you ask that?"

        "Nothing. Never mind." Says Dean.

        "Oh. But... his father did take him to a friend's birthday party yesterday."

MOTEL ROOM
[ ☼ ]

       Sam sits in the motel room with Elena, waiting for Dean. His phone rings. "Put it on speaker." Elena says as Sam answers.

      "Hey." He says.

      "Hey. You remember a chain called Plucky Pennywhistle's?" Dean asks.

       Sam pauses. "No." He says.

       "Really? Could have swore you loved those places." Dean says.

        "No, dude, I hated them." Sam says. "Uh, you would dump me and go trolling for chicks."

        "It's not like I left you in jail. I mean, those places are supposed to be fun." Dean says.

       "Fun? Uh, they're lame. And they smell like puke." Sam says and Elena giggles. "And the ice cream is all grainy."

       "All right, don't have one of your episodes, okay?" Dean says. "I'm just saying I hit a dead end with this whole wishes-gone-wild thing, but both kids were at Plucky's day of. Look, why don't you go check out the local Plucky's and ask about this Billy kid?"

      "Look, man, w-why don't I just... why don't I just wait for you to get back?" Sam says and Elena looks at him weirdly.

        "No can do, Hermano. I'm on my way to talk to little Billy." Dean says.

       "Why – why – why don't I talk to Billy right now?" Sam asks.

        Dean laughs. "Wait, wait, wait. This isn't about your, uh, your clown thing, is it?" He asks.

       "What?!" Sam asks. "No!"

       "You're still afraid of clowns?" Elena asks.

       "Sammy?" Dean asks.

        "No." Sam says.

        "Yeah, what in the world did they do to you?" Elena asks.

        "All right, you know what? Never mind. Just know that 99.99% of all clowns can't hurt you." Dean says. "Okay? And if it bleeds you can kill it." He shakes his head and hangs up.

       "If it bleeds, you can kill it." Sam repeats.

PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE'S MAGICAL MENAGERIE
[ ☼ ]

       A sign on the awning of the building reads "Where all your dreams are good!"

       Sam is sitting in the Jeep. "I'm too old for this." He says.