( MONSTER BURGER )

       "Ranger Evans! Ranger!" Sam yells.

       "It's got him up in the trees. Lights off." Bobby says. He, Dean, Elena and Sam point their rifles upwards. Bobby turns off the spotlight on his rifle.

       "What?" Dean lowers his rifle.

       "Wait, Bobby, you think that's really a good idea?" Sam asks.

       "Shut up, shut off, and listen." Bobby says. Sam lowers his rifle and turns off the spotlight. Dean has already turned off the light on his. "Damn thing's eating Rick."

      "Man, I liked Rick." Dean says. Sam, Elena and Bobby look at Dean. Bobby closes his eyes and fires up into the tree. A humanoid creature holding one of Rick's arms falls to the ground.

      "Wow. Nice shot, Bobby." Dean says.

      "Seriously." Sam says.

      "We all got our gifts."

       "What about the rest of Ranger Rick?" Dean asks.

       "Ranger called in his 10-20. His own will find him. We got crap to do."

OLD HOUSE
[ ☾]

       Dean and Sam lay the creature on the table. "Built like a supermodel, but the thing was strong. That's for damn sure. Carried a full-grown man up a tree in nothing flat." Bobby says.

      "But, it only took one bullet to bring it down." Sam says.

       "And not even a silver bullet, just a bullet-bullet." Dean says.

       The creature sits bolt upright and then stands up on the table. Dean, Sam and Bobby fire at it repeatedly. It falls back down on the table. Dean and Sam exhale loudly.

      "First one must have just stunned it." Bobby says.

       "All right, well, let's check its hulk pants for some ID." Dean takes a wallet out of the creature's pants. "Oh, that is just gonna ruin the leather." Sam takes the wallet from Dean.

      "Are you feeling okay?" Elena asks Dean.

       "Yeah, I feel great."

       "Gerald Browder, uh, lived here in town, 5'9", brown hair and blue eyes... 235 pounds." Sam says.

       "Whoa." Dean says. They all look at the creature, which clearly does not weigh 235 pounds.

       "Well, apparently, he's lost a little pudge." Bobby says.

       "Maybe it's a-a lap-band side effect." Dean laughs, Sam, Elena and Bobby do not. Bobby pokes a stick inside one of the bullet wounds in the creature. It drips gray goo.

       "What the hell? I think we better have a look under Gerald's hood." Bobby and Sam are examining the creature's open chest cavity using forceps. "God! Its organs are swimming in the stuff."

       Dean comes into the room, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. "You guys getting hungry? I'm hungry." He says.

      "What's that?" Elena points at something.

       "His stomach. For a guy on a diet, Gerry here packed it in pretty good." Bobby says.

       "That's human right there." Sam says.

        "That's fresh Rick. Let's see." Bobby says. "Plus... a pine cone? Pack of gum in the wrapper."

       "That's—that's older. Maybe like a—maybe Ranger Phil or the camper." Sam says.

       "What's that?"

        Sam picks something up with the stick. "Looks like a—yeah, that's a—that's a cat's head." He says.

       "A glamper or two is one thing, but you got to be damn hungry to eat a cat's head." Bobby says.

       "Mm-hmm."

       "Well, lookit here. I'm no Dr. Oz, but..." Bobby takes a large, lumpy, black object out of the creature's body. "I think that's his adrenal glands."

      "Okay. And?" Elena says.

      "Meant to be the size of hotel bar soap... and bright orange." Bobby and Sam wince at the smell.

       "Ooh! All right, that might help explain the strength. Um, but whatever this thing is, it's not the Jersey Devil, but it sure as hell ain't Gerald Browder anymore." Sam says.

       "Okay, guys, seriously. It's time for dinner?" Dean asks.

BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT
[ ☾]

       Dean is eating a sandwich and Elena a salad. Bobby and Sam have only cups of coffee. Sam is reading from the New Jersey Police Missing Persons Agency website on his laptop. "Gerald Browder, 35, self-employed. Air-conditioning repairman." Sam is now looking at a website for Browder Airconditioning. Gerald Browder was the owner/operator. "Missing person number three. Disappeared eight days ago."

       "Well, that explains all the people who got eaten in the last eight days." Bobby says.

       "Yeah. Question is, what happened to him?" Sam asks. Dean is groaning as he eats his sandwich with large bites. "Dean. Uh, so, what do you think?"

       Dean is talking with his mouth full. "I'm not that worried about it." He says.

       "Excuse me?" Bobby asks.

       "That's funny, right? I could give two shakes of a rat's ass. Is that right? Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else? Eh." Dean says.

       Sam looks around the restaurant at the many customers eating the same sandwich. "Give me that." He snatches the sandwich away from Dean.

       "Whoa, whoa! Why?!" Dean says.

       "There's some funky chicken in the TDK Slammer, ain't there?" Bobby asks.

       "Yeah." Sam sniffs the sandwich and recoils.

OLD HOUSE
[ ☾]

        Bobby sets the sandwich, wrapped in foil in the shape of a swan, down on a plate on the table. "This is stupid. My sandwich didn't do anything. I don't know what you think you're gonna find." Dean says. Sam unwraps the sandwich.

       "There's something wrong with you, Dean." Bobby says.

       "Are you kidding? I'm fine! I—I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? Elena dumping me?" Dean says. "I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care. I just want my damn slammer back."

       "Dude, you are completely stoned, just like Ranger Rick was." Sam says.

      "Just like the dinner rush back at Biggerson's. And everybody's loving the Turducken." Bobby says. Gray goo bubbles out from the sandwich.

       "I think you pissed off my sandwich." Dean says as more goo bubbles out. "That—that's in me?"

       "O-only half of it." Sam says.

       "Does that snot look familiar?" Bobby asks.

       "Okay, so whatever turned Gerry Browder into a pumpkin head... and is currently turning Dean into an idiot—" Elena starts.

       "I'm right here. Right here." Dean says.

       "Is in the Turducken Slammer at Biggerson's." Bobby says.

      "Yeah." Sam says.

      "It's in the meat." Bobby says.

      "If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke."

BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT RECEIVING ENTRANCE
[ ☾]

       "How's he doing?" Sam asks. Bobby is in the driver's seat and Sam in the passenger seat of a vehicle. Dean is in the back seat next to Elena, asleep.

      "He's sleeping it off. Tryptophan coma." Bobby says.

      "So, you think he's okay?" Sam asks.

      "Yeah, he's all right."

      "Good. So you don't worry about him?" Sam asks.

       "What do you mean? Before the Turducken?"

       "Yeah. Yeah, I kind of mean more like, uh... more like ever since my head broke... and we lost Cas. I mean, you ever feel like he's—he's going through the same motions but he's not the same Dean, you know?" Sam asks.

      "How could he be?" Elena asks.

      "Right, yeah, but what if—" Sam starts.

       "What if what, Sam? You know, you worry about him. All he does is worry about you. Who's left to live their own life here?" Bobby says. "The two of you—aren't you full up just playing Snuffleupagus with the Devil all the live long?"

       "I don't know, Bobby. Seeing Lucifer's fine with me." Sam says.

      "Come again?" Asks Elena. "You said—"

       "Look, I'm not saying it's fun. I mean, to be honest with you, I-I kind of see it as the best-case scenario. I mean...at least all my crazy's under one umbrella, you know? I kind of know what I'm dealing with. A lot of people got it worse." Sam says.

       "You always were one deep little son of a bitch." Bobby says.

       "Wait, wait, wait. Here we go." Sam says.

       A delivery truck is backing up to the Biggerson's receiving entrance. The Truck Driver gets out of the truck and wheels cartons from the truck into the restaurant, then gets back into the truck and drives away. The truck reads "MIDWEST MEAT AND POULTRY WHOLESALE DISTRIBUTION."

       "Well, I guess we follow him." Bobby says.

CAR PARK OUTSIDE
N.E. LAW CENTER
[ ☾]

       A Woman is walking to her car. She screams as Brandon runs out from some trees and tackles her to the ground. A car pulls up and a Man visible only from the chest down gets out, walks over to Brandon and knocks him away from the Woman.

WAREHOUSE
[ ☾]

       The Midwest Meat truck pulls up to the warehouse and parks. Sam, Bobby, Elena and Dean are watching from their vehicle. Sam has binoculars. "That's weird, right? I mean, national franchise like Biggerson's getting meat from a place that looks like it wholesales Hong Kong knockoffs." Sam says.

       "Okay. Yeah. It's a little weird." Dean says. The Truck Driver enters the warehouse.

       "All right, well, I guess we wait till they close up shop, go take a look around?" Sam asks.

       "Hang on." Bobby says. A car pulls up to the warehouse and Edgar gets out. The Truck Driver comes back out of the warehouse.

       "No." Sam says.

       "Edgar." Says Elena.

       "Leviathans." Dean says.

       Edgar opens the trunk and helps out Brandon, whose head is covered with a hood. The Truck Driver takes Brandon by the arm and leads him into the warehouse.

     "Son of a bitch." Dean says.

       "What the hell is going on?"

       The Driver is leading a hooded Brandon into the warehouse. "Put him with the others, if you don't mind." Edgar says.

       "Edgar. Follow me." Dr Gaines says as they begin walking. "I've been so busy with this experiment, I didn't even realize you were back. It's, uh, big stuff."

       "I'm back because of the experiment. What's happening? You said you were refining the formula." Edgar says.

       "Yes. Absolutely. And it's going great. The absorption rate is up in lower concentrations."

       "But it didn't solve our little issue with adverse reactions." Says Edgar

      "Well, no. Not 100%." Gained says. The Driver puts Brandon into a cage next to other cages containing people and removes his hood.

       Edgar looks at the cages. "Burn them." He says.

      "What? But they represent crucial test data. Where the additive formula went wrong, where my initial projections failed."

       "Dick is coming." Edgar says.

       Dr. Gaines turns to the Truck Driver. "Burn them." He says

       Dean and Bobby are sitting in their vehicle outside the warehouse. Bobby is holding a cell phone which is on speaker. "There's nothing happening back here at all." Sam says.

       "Yeah, okay, Sam. Well, they're pretty dug in, so why don't you and Elena finish circling and head on back?" Bobby says

       "Right."

       Bobby hangs up. "How's your head?" He asks.

       "Well, I think the slammer's pretty much wore off. In between that and the 20 cups of coffee, I'm nicely tense and alarmed." Dean says.

       "I wasn't talking about that." Bobby says.

       "Oh, Bobby, don't—don't go all Sigmund Freud on me right now, okay?" Dean says. "I just got drugged by a sandwich."

       "I want to talk about your new party line." Bobby says.

       "Party? What are you talking about? I don't even vote." Dean says.

      "'The world's a suicide case. We save it, it just steals more pills'?" Bobby says.

      "Bobby, I'm here, okay? I'm on the case. What's the problem?"

       "I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean." Bobby says.

       "No, I'm talking the way a person talks when they've had it, when they can't figure out why they used to think all this mattered." Dean says.

       "Oh, you poor, sorry... You're not a person."

       "Thanks." Dean says.

        "Come on, now. You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben. And now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain't person behavior, son. You're a hunter, meaning you're whatever the job you're doing today." Bobby says. "Now, you get a case of the Anne Sextons, something's gonna come up behind you and rip your fool head off. Now, you find your reasons to get back in the game. I don't care if it's love or spite or a ten-dollar bet. I've been to enough funerals. I mean it. You die before me, and I'll kill you."

       Dean briefly thinks of Elena. "We need to scrape some money together, get you a condo or something." He says.

      Sam and Elena get into the back seat of the vehicle. "Hey. Something's up." Elena says. Two black vehicles pull up as Edgar and Dr. Gaines come out of the building. Dick gets out of the second vehicle.

      "Well, I'll be a squirrel in a skirt. It's Dick frigging Roman." Bobby says.

       "What? Who the hell is Dick frigging Roman?"