Staring up at my ceiling, I try to remember the last time I was up before either of the girls. This is the first time in months where I'm able to lie here and sprawl out without Lydia climbing into bed with me, and it suddenly feels cold and lonely.

The last two weeks have unfolded exactly as I had expected them to. They consisted of working endlessly, Trevor continuing to be late to pick the girls up, and my anxiety spiking every day that passed, knowing it brought me closer to meeting Bottom Line, and now I'm finally meeting them tomorrow. I've picked and discarded my outfit so many times that I'm pretty sure Ana and Nora stopped actually looking at it and just went with the good old, "that's the one!" or "they're going to need a forklift to pick their jaw up off the floor," response instead.

Moving my legs off the side of the bed, I let them dangle for a moment before a knock sounds from the front door. A smile creeps past my lips as I hop off the bed, slide into my slippers, and rush to answer it.

After fumbling with the lock, I swing open the door to greet my mother as she stands there with an overnight bag gripped tightly in her hands.

"Hi, Mom!" I exclaim while I wrap my arms around her neck. It feels like I haven't seen her in so long, even though it's been maybe a month.

"Hey, Al!" she chuckles, returning the hug as her bag thuds against the front porch. "Where are my girls?"

I pick up her bag and walk inside the house, closing the door behind us as I whisper to her, "they're still sleeping."

"Why don't you go get yourself ready for your trip and I'll make the girls' breakfast," she offers, taking her bag from my hands.

"Thanks, Mom. I appreciate that," I say, and walk back to my bedroom.

Thankfully, my luggage is already in the car, all that's left to do before picking up Nora is wait for Ana to come downstairs, and hug my girls goodbye. That's going to be the biggest challenge of leaving. I can already feel it.

I grab a pair of black leggings and a distressed Nirvana t-shirt from my dresser and quickly put them on and sit on the edge of my bed. Taking my cell phone off the nightstand, I send Nora a text to double-check she's up and at least getting ready.

Me: Hey, what time will you be ready?

Nora: I'm already ready, just waiting for you guys

Me: How are you already ready?!

Nora: Uhh.. I woke up, showered, and got dressed. Voila, ready.

Me: I'll be ready soon, and we'll be on our way, crazy lady

With a shake of my head, I place my phone in my pocket and decide to pass the time by doing my makeup for the first time in months. I quickly grab my bag off my vanity and sit cross-legged in front of my body-length mirror. Doing makeup is the same as learning to ride a bike, right? You can't just forget how to apply it.

After only a few minutes, I stare back at my reflection in the mirror, a lot more satisfied than I half expected. The gray, smokey eyeshadow makes my electric blue eyes pop and my sad attempt at winged eyeliner isn't perfect, but it's been a while since I've attempted it and it looks pretty decent.

After I replace the cap on my mascara, I hear my door creak open, followed by small feet padding from behind me. Turning around, I see Lydia waddle inside, her eyes barely open as she plops onto my lap for a hug as she nestles into my chest. I rest the side of my face against her head and wrap my arms around her, inhaling the scent of her strawberry shampoo from last night.

"Morning sleepyhead," I whisper against her shoulder. "Grandma's making breakfast. Do you want to go eat?"

Feeling her nod against my chest, I carefully stand with Lydia still in my arms and make our way into the kitchen. The smell of french toast wafts through the air, making Lydia perk right up as she points to my mother standing in front of the stove.

"Nana!" she exclaims, her arms stretched toward her.

My mother gushes as she takes Lydia from my arms, my heart warming instantly at the sight of them together. Nobody makes a better grandmother than my mother. I swear it was something she was destined to be with how much she loves her granddaughters. She always shows up no matter whether it's to dance recitals for Charlotte, or even just stopping by to say hi because she was driving by the house and wanted to see her girls.

"Hey, Lyd!" she exclaims, offering her a piece of strawberry from the counter beside them. "Are you going to spend some time with Grandma today?"

Lydia nods as she takes a bite out of the strawberry and rests her head on her grandmother's shoulder. Footsteps sound behind me when I turn and see Charlotte entering the kitchen with Mr. Hopps, her stuffed bunny, clutched in her hands. She stares at the floor as she walks toward me before she hugs my leg and I kneel beside her as I lift her chin with my finger to see tears shining in her eyes.

"Oh, baby. Did you have a bad dream?" I ask, pulling her into a tight hug.

"No," she says quietly against my chest. I pull her from me to see a single tear form beside her eye, not yet falling.

"What is it?" I ask her gently, concern coursing through me.

"I don't want you to leave," she sniffles and my heart cracks in two.

I pull her against my chest again, placing a delicate kiss on her head as I whisper, "I'm going to miss you, too, Lottie. You're going to have so much fun with Daddy and Lydia," I explain as I pull her from me slightly to see her face. "And we're going to talk every day while I'm gone. I'm going to need you to keep an eye on your little sister. You know why?"

She shakes her head in response, wiping at her eyes to dry them.

"Because you're my big girl," I say, tears forming in my own eyes as I blink them away, not wanting her to see me cry when I'm trying to console her.

She gives me a soft smile as she nods, and hugs me one last time before heading to the table to help her sister onto the chair. I stand and brush off my knees when Ana joins us in the kitchen with a suitcase rolling behind her and a laptop bag strapped against her torso. Her long, curly, rich brown hair is pulled into a low ponytail with light makeup, illuminating her warm skin tone—a few shades past my ghostly complexion.

"We ready?" she asks as she stands at the entryway, her hands on her hips as her gaze lands on Charlotte. Ana's eyes lift to mine as she mouths, "is everything okay?"

Giving her a nod, I say quietly, "yeah. We're ready."

My mother wipes her hands on her apron, turning around with her arms crossed at her chest. "You'll make sure she at least texts me when you girls arrive, right Ana?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you still mad about the time I forgot to call you when I went to that concert on the beach?" I ask with one hand on my hip.

"Damn right I am," she jokes as she walks over to wrap her arms around me.

"I was seventeen!" I laugh and throw my hands up.

"No excuse," my mother chuckles. "Have fun, and don't worry, Al. Trevor knows you need this as much as I do and said he'll give you daily updates."

I can't help but chuckle quietly at that one. It's nice of him and all, but where was that side of him when we were together? We were together for eight years, but I always felt like I was doing everything alone. If he had stepped up even a little more, I honestly feel as though I wouldn't need this as badly as I do.

"Alright, girls. You be good for grandma and Dad, okay? I'm going to miss you both so much," I say, ruffling Lydia's hair as she munches on another strawberry.

"We will," Charlotte promises from beside her sister.

I bend at the knees and open my arms, both girls rushing off their seats to hug me. I hold them for a few minutes before finally letting go. It's not supposed to be like this.

"Bye, babies. I'll see you soon, okay? Dad will be here tomorrow morning," I say, wiping beneath my eyes to dry them.

"Bye!" Lydia waves frantically.

I'm glad she is young enough to not fully register just how long Mom's going to be gone for, so it's easier for her. But for Charlotte? This is going to be a challenge for her. She's not used to Mom being gone. I've always been there.

This wasn't part of my plan...

Stepping outside, my hand lingers on the doorknob for a moment before I finally close my eyes and let my fingers slowly slide off. My heart dropping into my stomach while I stare at the door.

Ana pauses on the first step and turns to rub my shoulder soothingly. "They'll be alright, Al," she promises softly.

A single, hot tear escapes from the corner of my eye and slowly rolls down my cheek as I look at her and throw my arms up with irritation. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this," I say through the tight lump that's lodged in my throat. "I think I made a mistake."

Two thin lines appear between Ana's brows when she shakes her head and grabs my shoulders. "Don't do that to yourself, Allie. You didn't make a mistake. He's the one who made the mistake. You did everything you could, and he wouldn't meet you halfway. So, we're going to go on vacation and enjoy ourselves for the first time in how long?"

"Too long," I chuckle softly, wiping the tears away.

"Exactly," she says with a small smile. "You need this and you know it."

I look up at her slowly and can't help but smile back at her. "You're right. It's just a few weeks, and we deserve this."

"Damn right! Plus, you're meeting your future husband tomorrow," she teases and quickly bolts it to the car before I can say anything in return.

I pull my phone out from my back pocket as I slide into the driver's seat and quickly text Nora to let her know we're on our way and to be ready.

"This is finally happening, huh?" I say, looking at Ana in the passenger seat.

"You bet your ass it is," she says excitedly and props her feet on the dashboard.

I put the car in reverse and slowly back out of the small driveway. Whether or not I like it, there's no going back now.

A few minutes later, we arrive at Nora's apartment and lightly beep the horn to announce our arrival. I reach around to the backseat for my purse and pull out two bottles of water, handing one to Ana. "This drive is going to kill me," I say, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip.

Ana nods from the passenger seat as she puts her sunglasses on and turns her head toward me. "We can split the drive if you want."

"It's okay, I'm sure I can manage. Plus, I can take a nap if I need to when we get there," I shrug and look out the window to see Nora rushing down her stairs with so much luggage I'm not sure it'll fit in my SUV. As she approaches the car, I open the trunk so she can deposit her belongings.

"Man, you would think we're going on vacation or something," I say jokingly.

"I'm so excited!" Nora claps excitedly and climbs into the backseat.

"Alright, guys, buckle up. We have a long ride ahead of us. Ana, you're our DJ for the trip."

Ana's face lights up, her hand suddenly flying for my phone. Moments later, Eslabon Armado's "Me Siento Perdido" plays beautifully through the speakers.

"God, this guy's voice could put me to sleep. It's so soothing," I say, suddenly feeling relaxed.

"I know, right?" Ana nods, beaming with a smile.

We pull away from the street to start our long journey and in roughly five hours, we will arrive in Boston, Massachusetts, to our beautiful, quiet home away from home.

After driving for a few hours, my back starts to ache, and my legs are in severe need of stretching out. Driving down the freeway, I finally spot a sign for an exit coming into view as I readjust myself in my seat. Turning the music down, I notify Ana and Nora of my plans to pull off for a few minutes' rest.

"Oh, thank God. I really have to pee," Nora announces from the backseat.

Ana's face scrunches up as she turns in her seat to glare at Nora. "Why didn't you say anything? We passed numerous stops."

"I didn't want to be that person that asks for a stop," Nora says quietly.

I chuckle at her and look at her through my rearview mirror. "It's okay, Nora. If you need to stop, just say so, girl," I say, pulling off the ramp for the exit.

As soon as the car stops at the gas pump, Nora's door flies open as she rushes towards the entrance. "Well, I guess she really did have to pee," I say with a smirk and unbuckle my seatbelt.

"She did have like three energy drinks. Honestly, I don't know how she even lasted this long," Ana replies, stepping out of the car.

When I remove the keys from the ignition, I notice a text message pop up on my phone while it rests in the windshield mount.

Trevor: I hope you have a great time. You deserve it. When you get back, maybe we can talk?

Rolling my eyes, I lock the screen and slip it into my back pocket. I am not dealing with that right now.

"What's that all about?" Ana asks, gesturing toward my phone.

"Nothing new. Trevor says he wants to talk when I get back home," I say, using my hand as a shield from the already hot sun.

"About you two getting back together? Does he not know how to take a hint?"

"More than likely, and absolutely not. He's been hinting at needing to talk for a while now, but thankfully he's always late, which means I'm running late and can leave before he opens his mouth," I chuckle.

"You know if he's late you can just wake my ass up and I'll come downstairs, right?" she asks, kicking a pebble beneath her shoe.

"I know that, but he also needs to learn to just be on time," I say and swing the door open as the AC welcomes us and the door dings above, announcing our entrance.

That message is undoubtedly killing my mood already. I don't understand what he's expecting from me. Is he hoping I'll forget all our conversations about the issues we faced in our relationship and the lack of motivation for change? We've been there and done that more times than I care to count.

Standing in line at the register, I notice Nora browsing the snack section—and by the snack section; I mean a group of bikers that resemble Sons of Anarchy—looking at the beef jerky.

"Nora, just remember what happens to Tara in the end," I jokingly shout to her.

She sticks her tongue out at me and giggles as she goes over and asks one of them to reach for something on the top shelf for her. Clever Nora, clever.

I wait for Nora by the door after cashing out as she skips to me.

"What were you doing?" I tease, poking her shoulder repeatedly.

"What? That guy looked like Opie! Did you see those arms?" she says, just about drooling with blushed cheeks.

Ana's eyebrows furrow slightly before she leans in toward Nora with a smirk. "Are you looking for a Michael two-point-oh?"

My mouth falls open as I swat Ana's shoulder. "Don't say that," I warn through clenched teeth.

"Oh, I wish Michael would have been that hot," Nora says, taking another look behind her at the Opie lookalike.

"If only Michael looked like Opie and Trevor looked like Jackson Teller. Maybe then it would have been worth it to stay," I chuckle, shaking my head.

"Yeah, then you guys could have met at the dead dad club instead of the deadbeat dad club," Ana snickers.

When the gas tank is full and everyone is ready to go, we all climb back in the car. I'm just ready to get there, sit in the jacuzzi, and have a tall glass of wine.

"Did you reply to Trevor?" Ana asks while buckling her seatbelt.

"Pfft, no. I'm not opening that can of worms right now. This trip is for me to relax and not be needed every three seconds. I'm going to let him sit on it for a little longer," I reply, starting the ignition.

"Where are you guys at with the separation?" Nora asks from the backseat.

"We're in the same place we've been," I explain indifferently. "He seems to want more of a friends-with-benefits type relationship. You guys know me; I need reassurance, to feel loved, and like I'm at least somewhat attractive. In the time we were together, I couldn't drag a compliment out of him, no matter how hard I tried. I realized my worth, and I don't want to go back to feeling that way."

"Honestly, it's for the best. You know what you want, so don't settle for less," Ana adds, returning her feet to the dashboard.

Feeling over the conversation, I turn the dial to raise the volume of the music as it filters through the speakers. I chuckle to myself when I realize the song playing is by Bottom Line. It's about accepting that you've reached your limit, you've tried for the last time, and you're not going to back down. Their lyrics resonate within me deeper than I think anyone understands. We just need to get to Boston and sleep before I can finally feel this song shake the floors.