CHAPTER 9- Why doesn't she love me? 

Izzy's POV 

"I think you should tell your mom." 

      I nodded calmly, knowing this was coming eventually. 

"No." 

Marissa groaned, "Izzy she went through this and can help you.." 

I laughed bitterly, cutting her off. 

"She can't help me? She barely gives me the time of day anymore. It's always about her career and what to do next. You know what? When is her next move gonna be me? When is she gonna be my mom?! She doesn't give a shit about me and you know it. Stop lying to me! If she really fucking cared she would've said goodbye on her way to Japan, or spent the day with me like she promised istead of jetting off to God knows where the second work calls okay? I'm tried of being the one trying all of the time. I just want my mom Marissa. I just want my mommy." 

Her mouth hung open at my sudden outburst as I collapsed in her arms. 

"Shh Izzy, it's okay." 

I sobbed harder into her shoulder, "No it's not Marissa, Why doesn't she love me?" 

She hugged me tightly, "Demi does love you baby..." 

I shook my head, "How long is she in Tokyo for?" 

Marissa pulled a thinking face, "A week?" 

I nodded, "My birthday is in two days." 

She immediately reached for her phone, "Don't worry, I'll call her and she'll come right back." 

I grabbed the device before she could touch it, "No. Don't. I don't want her here. She's made her choice, do not tell her." 

We both stared at each other for a full minute until Marissa gave in, slowly nodding. 

"Fine. I won't tell her." 

I arched an eyebrow, "Or my dad." 

"Or your dad." 

I nodded, then stood up. "I'm going to bed, I have school tomorrow." 

Marissa tensed, "I don't know if you should go, I still don't like the threat of them doing that to you again." 

I shrugged, "I'm used to it. It's not a big deal." Then, in my head I made sure to add the underlying truth that was always drilled into my head. 

I deserve it. 

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-Rachel