CHAPTER 64- Lie

Demi's POV

I woke up to the familiar dull ache running through my core. I turned over, hoping to try and convince Wilmer to somehow ease the flame inside me but the bed was empty. I sighed in frustration and flopped back against the pillows. I was getting really sick of the whole 'no sex' thing. I ran a hand over my stomach and bit my lip, automatically insecurities came flooding through my brain as I frowned at the layer of fat that hadn't been there a few weeks ago. Maybe that's the reason he won't do anything with me, maybe he's disgusted by me. I sighed and reached into the bedside table for our ring, dubbed the 'dilmer' ring by all of my fans. It made me feel better when I was secure about our relationship. As my fingers searched around, the felt nothing. The drawer was empty. In a panic I sat up and turned the light on and searched every crevice of the drawer finding nothing. Muttering a stream of curses I ran to my closet and looked through my entire jewelry box still coming up empty handed. Tears began to rush down my cheek as I sat on the bed and tried to remember where the hell I'd put it. Wilmer's going to be pissed, last time he misplaced his ring I'd thrown a fit, screaming at him until we'd ripped the entire house apart and found it in his jeans pocket. I was certain just last week I'd rubbed it between my fingers and thought about the good time in our relationship to stop focusing on the bad and then put it right back in the drawer.

"IZZY." I called out, walking into the hallway.

"WHAT?" She poked her head out through the door.

"Have you seen my ring?" I bit my lip and she raised an eyebrow.

"Mom you have like eighty rings which one are you talking about?"

I threw my hands in the air, "My ring! The one Me and Dad have that match with the roman numerals!"

He eyes widened, "YOU LOST THAT RING?!"

I nodded pitifully and she shook her head, "He's gonna kill you!"

Again, I nodded and she walked out.

"Fine I'll help you."

~*~

"Maybe we were robbed?" Izzy suggested as we laid on the couch and brainstormed ideas. We'd been looking non-stop for the past few hours and come up with nothing, although Izzy did find about five hundred dollars throughout the house that she took as her 'salary' for helping me.

"And they just took the ring? Not likely."

Again, my fingers trailed over my stomach, the ache of hunger was prominent.

Suddenly, the front door opened and Wilmer walked in, catching sight of us laying on the couch and immediately looking suspicious.

"Hey girls, what's going on?"

"Nothing!" Izzy and I both spoke at the same time making Wilmer cock his head.

"You sure?" We both nodded and he frowned, "Okay well-"

At that moment, my stomach growled loudly and the panic on my face was obvious.

"Demi have you eaten at all today?" Slowly, I shook my head and he sighed "Izzy?" He received the same answer.

Wilmer ran a hand over his face and surveyed us, "What am I going to do with you two."

~*~

After making sure Izzy and I both ate our fill Wilmer allowed Izzy to go upstairs but asked me to stay to talk. Feeling like a child who got in a lot of trouble, I agreed and watched him from atop of the counter while he cleaned up dishes. Finally, he turned back to me and leaned against the counter, examining me for a couple of minutes.

"So, are you gonna tell me what happened?"

I sighed and looked down, "What always happens."

He slowly walked towards me and lifted my chin with his fingertips, searching my eyes, "Why Hermosa?"

I flinched at his lie, he didn't think of me as beautiful anymore.

"I don't know." My voice was hollow, closed off, he could tell something was wrong.

"Demi, talk to me." He murmured, leaning his forehead against mine, "I can't help you if you don't let me in."

I pulled away slightly and looked into his warm, pleading brown eyes. "Can you please just drop it?"

He sighed, and his forehead leaned into the crook of my neck, moving between my legs. I automatically pulled him closer and hugged his torso, kissing his neck lightly.

"I love you."

Lies.

I swallowed hard, "I love you too."

~*~

"So how has your week been?"

Wilmer and I sat a few feet away from each other on the couch in the therapist's office, tense and not touching at all. We were back to barely talking, he's past the sympathetic and understand phase so now he's just plain pissed at me. We slept in the same bed, but didn't touch or talk.

"Demi you wanna answer that?" Wilmer asked, his voice short.

"It's not our best."

Kelly nodded, "So what happened?"

I sighed and looked down as Wilmer spoke.

"She's having trouble eating again."

I glared at him and he shrugged, as Kelly leaned forward.

"You haven't mentioned that in your individual sessions Demi, why is that?"

I shrugged and looked down.

"She's been like this since Sunday, every time I try to talk to her she just looks away and doesn't speak." Wilmer said, clearly annoyed.

"Demi, what happened on Sunday? Start from the beginning."

I looked at her, then at Wilmer, and sighed.

"When I woke up I couldn't find my ring." I looked up at Wilmer, and was surprised to see he was calm, although his face morphed into one of alarm.

"Why were you looking for your ring?"

I shook my head, "That doesn't matter! I lost it!"

Wilmer sat forward a bit, "It most certainly does matter Demi I know what it means when you wear that ring."

Inside my head, I cursed.

"I should've never told you about that."

Wilmer looked at a confused Kelly, "Whenever she's feeling like our relationship is breaking she holds that ring. It's like a reminder for her. It means she doubted me in some way."

Kelly looked at me, then at Wilmer again, "Well what do you doubt Demi?"

This time, I let go.

"Myself."

She nodded and wrote down my answer, "And why do you feel that way."

I glanced up at Wilmer before staring st my hands.

"I know I said I was okay with it, the whole no sex until he's ready, but i'm not. It's bringing back thoughts I haven't have since I was seventeen. I look in the mirror and justify him not wanting me, not because of his reasoning but because I can see how disgusting I am. I feel like a whale, and my mind asks how anyone could want a wife like that. I know he's lying when he calls me hermosa, or beautiful, because he doesn't make me feel beautiful at all. That's why I don't want him to talk to me or touch me, it's all a lie."

Kelly stood, "I'll give you two a moment alone."

It was silent for a good five minutes as Wilmer sat there staring at his hands while I fought to keep the tears back. Eventually, one made it's way down my cheek and dozens followed. I buried my face into my hands and let out a sob. Wilmer moved for the first time to pull me into his shoulder, holding me tightly.

"I'm so sorry Demi... I'm so sorry."

I just cried, I didn't know for how long but Wilmer helped me stand up after a while.

"Kelly has another appointment, we've got to go. Come on Demi, let's go home."

I nodded numbly and let him lead me out of the office and help me into the car. It was silent except for my occasional sniffles and shuddering breaths.

Finally, we arrived home and I walked upstairs, Wilmer trailing behind me. I curled up on the bed and felt the mattress shift as he laid next to me.

"Demi." I shook my head and turned towards him, pressing my head into the crook of his neck.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, just please hold me." I whispered against his neck, pressing closer to him. "Just don't let go."

He kissed my hair and pulled my lips up to his, "I can do better than that." He kissed my lips and moved on top of me, looking into my eyes. "Izzy's at Maddie's. So i'm going to make sure that you know I love you and because I want you to know how beautiful you are to me."

He began to kiss his way around my neck, his hands trailing along my waistband.

Using all of my willpower, I pushed him off of me and sat up, "I'm not having sex with you tonight Wilmer, I don't want your pity."

He shook his head, clearly shocked at my rejection.

"Demi I'm not pitying you I just-"

"Don't bullshit me Wilmer you and I both know that if I wouldn't of said all of that today you wouldn't have even spoken to me tonight. I don't want your pity I want your love, now just get out"

He threw his hands in the air and stalking out, muttering angrily while I screamed into a pillow out of frustration. Was he really that stupid to think I'd know he didn't really want to sleep with me? I laid back against the pillows and tried to calm down long enough so I could go to sleep. All I wanted was him to hold and tell me everything was going to be alright. No part of my wanted to have sex. With a groan I got up and walked into the spare bedroom where Wilmer laying down and staring at the ceiling. When he saw me, his expression hardened.

"What do you want?"

I looked down and sighed, "Can we not fight? I don't want to be mad at you."

His eyes softened, "I hate fighting, you know that."

I nodded and rocked back on my heels, "Can you come back to bed?"

He nodded and I walked back into our room, pulling him down next to me on the bed and curling into his side.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." I whispered, snuggling into his chest.

"It's okay Demi, I understand. I'm sorry for... Every thing."

I looked up at him and pulled head up to mine, kissing him gently before leaning my forehead against his.

"I love you so much."

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-Rachel