CHAPTER 43- Therapy

Demi's POV 

        Wilmer and I sat outside the therapist's office and I could tell he was nervous.

I placed my hand on his shaking leg, "Babe, calm down."

He sighed and leaned his head against the wall, "I can't. I keep thinking about what she's gonna say. What if she says we shouldn't be together?"

I looked into his eyes and saw the genuine fear. I cupped his cheek with my hand and softly kissed his lips, "I'm not gonna let that happen Wilmer. She's not gonna do that. Her purpose it to help us work it out, not push us to give up." 

He sighed and I pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back gently. 

"I'm not gonna give up on your just yet. Your ass is stuck with me and this baby for a while." I whispered in his hear and felt him chuckle. 

"You sure you guys need counseling?" I looked up to see my usual therapist- Kelly Farrell standing there with a smile on her face at me and Wilmer embracing. "Kidding, come on in guys." 

        We followed her into the office but I stopped and turned to Wilmer, leaning our foreheads together. 

"Whatever you want to say you have to say. Do not think about my feelings and you have to be honest okay. We can't get the root if we're sugarcoating it." 

He nodded, and leaned down to kiss my forehead, then followed me inside the room. We sat on the couch across from Kelly and I immediately grabbed Wilmer's hand. All of a sudden the feeling of this being a really bad idea came over me, but I pushed it aside and took a deep breath. 

"So. Tell me why you're here." 

Wilmer and I were both silent, it was a general question, but in truth I didn't know why. 

"I think..." Wilmer began to speak and I looked up with a surprised expression. "I think we both have some insecurities in each other, and the trust is really flimsy between us." 

I gave him a small smile and nodded at Kelly. 

"Demi you seem to agree, what are some of your insecurities?" 

I inhaled sharply and Wilmer squeezed my hand reassuringly. 

"I'm absolutely terrified he's going to become dependant on alcohol." Wilmer inhaled sharply and let go of my hand to rub his face. 

"And why do you think that?" 

I sighed, "Because when things get tough, he shuts down and doesn't let me in. He thinks he handle the whole world by himself. But that's not how it's supposed to be right? We're supposed to face the world together. Whenever something goes wrong you can find him at the nearest bar, and then passed out drunk in the morning." 

I knew my words were harsh, but they were all true. 

"Interesting. Wilmer what are your fears about Demi?" 

He was definitely rocked by my strong start, but recovered. 

"I'm scared she's going to hurt herself. I live in fear everytime I leave her alone in the house whether it's for work or for a trip that something is going to go wrong and she's gonna hurt herself." 

I stared at him, equally shocked. What the hell? He never mentioned anything like this?! 

"Okay. It's a good start for today. Now I have homework for you. It's called containment. You both obviously have questions for each other, now I want you two to practice controlling when you lash out or blow up on each other. Demi you are not to ask Wilmer about anything he just said outside of this office. Wilmer the same goes for you. You both have to think of one question to ask each other for our next session, and we'll go from there. If the other asks you about it, do not say anything. Walk away. I'll see you next week." 

I furrowed my brow as she stood up and walked out, leaving Wilmer and I in a very awkward silence. He stood, and offered me his hand which I took gladly, and we walked out of the room. 

The drive home was silent, my mind was spinning with thousands of questions I wanted to ask him. 

"So what did you think?" 

I looked up at Wilmer with a small smile, "I mean... She confused me at the end a bit." 

He nodded, "Me too, but I think it was necessary. I mean, she is the professional." 

I nodded, physically needing to stop myself for asking about his insecurity. At last, we pulled into the driveway and walked into the house. Izzy was with Jake, so it was just us two until she came home.

Wilmer walked into the kitchen, "You hungry babe?" 

I sighed and walked up to him, pressing my face into his chest. Wilmer wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. 

"Please tell me you're not actually this calm on the inside." I whispered. 

"Believe me. My head's about to explode, but there's nothing I can do about it." He said back, his hands rubbing soothing patterns into my back. I looked up at him and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to have him holding me. 

"Can we just go lay down?" 

Wilmer nodded and we walked into the bedroom. I used the bathroom and changed into just one of Wilmer's big t-shirts while he threw on sweatpants. I snuggled into his side and sighed contently. 

"I miss doing this." I murmured, "Remember when all we did on our days off after first got married was just lay down together?" 

He hummed in agreement, "Of course I remember. You stole almost all of my shirts and put them in the bottom drawer of your closet." 

I blushed and moved my head so my chin rested on his chest, looking into his eyes. 

"Do you remember the first day you found me in the bathroom." 

He nodded, "That was one of the worst days of my life. 

         *

I sobbed loudly as the silver blade slashed at my arms. 

"Demi?" 

My head snapped up, SHIT. I'd forgotten Wilmer was supposed to come over today. 

"Demi are you in here?" The door handle jiggled and I let out a yelp. 

"Wilmer don't come in!" 

Something in my voice must've tipped him off because a second later the door opened. Both of us froze in horror as Wilmer took in the scene of me trying to control the bleeding of my cuts. I'd accidently gone deeper than usual and I couldn't stop it this time. 

"DEMI." He grabbed me as the ground suddenly swirled to my face. My head was going foggy as I tried to blink. What was happening to me?

I felt wetness on my face and realized Wilmer was spraying water from the shower onto my face to try and keep me awake. 

"Demi no please baby don't fall asleep. Stay awake focus on me. I love you just don't go anywhere stay with me." He sobbed and held me in his arms as I tried to keep my eyes open and clear my head. 

        *

I sighed, "You saved my life." 

Wilmer touched my cheek, "I don't know what I would've done if I lost you that day." 

I leaned forward and kissed him softly, letting my lips linger on his for longer than usual. I could feel myself wanting to feel his arms around me while we made love. Just as I reminded myself of the situation, I found myself pressing my body against his, our lips pushing together firmly. 

"Demi." He breathed as I moved to straddle him. 

"Shut up." I chuckled, kissing him roughly again and again. His hands gripped my waist and he groaned as I grinded down onto him. 

"Demi what are you doing? You said..." 

"I don't give a shit what I said Wilmer I want you. Ground rules or no ground rules."  

He sighed and rolled us over so her was on top. I reached for his sweatpants bottoms but his hands stopped me. 

"Demi stop. Seriously. You're thinking in the heat of the moment andyou're going to regret this when it's over. I'm not going to have sex with you until we're completely okay. Believe me, I want to Demi but we need to work on ourselves first." 

I groaned and flopped back onto the pillows. Why is he always right? 

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