Cohen

"Dude, you have to get over her."

I look over at my buddy, Rex, who's lounging on the hammock in my back yard. He's too big for it and his long, lean legs are hanging off the end, but he doesn't care.

   It's the end of June already but I just got here, back to Avila Beach, about a week ago. Rex is likely the only friend I'll have this summer, because he's known me the longest and didn't get butt hurt when I disappeared in the spring, like everyone else did. It's not like a had a choice when I had to leave.

   My dad died. It wasn't sudden or anything, he'd had cancer for a few years. It hit my family hard though and within a few weeks of the funeral, my mom packed us up and we left for San Diego, where my mom's family all lives. She needed them. My sister needed them. But me? I don't know what I needed. I didn't want to leave, though.

   "I am over her," I tell Rex, leaning back into a beach chair, closing my eyes.

   "You've already tried to figure out where she is tonight," Rex accuses me.

   My eyes pop open again. He's not wrong. I saw some posts on Instagram and found out about the party. "I saw the party was going on and assumed she was there. I didn't -"

   "Cohen. Dude. I'm sorry. But Lola is not going to get back together with you." Rex is leaning forward now, looking over at me.

   I don't know why we are having this conversation. "I didn't say I wanted that."

   "You didn't have to."

   I throw an empty can of soda at him and it hits his shoulder. He grunts and then laughs. "I missed you, though. Honestly. The last couple months at school were lame. How was school in San Diego?"

   I came back to Avila five days ago but this is the first time we're really getting to hang out. Rex's parents are strict and they don't exactly think I'm the best influence on him. Thankfully, Rex continues to be the awesome friend that he is. My other friends, including Lola, my girlfriend at the time,  were mad at me for leaving town. Like I had any control over my dad dying and my mom making us move. I was seventeen. I just turned eighteen in San Diego three weeks ago.

   "It was a huge school with like two thousands kids. I got special treatment and didn't even have to write exams. It's like they passed me and let me graduate out of pity," I tell him, shaking my head.

   "Dude. That's... I mean..." Rex doesn't know what to say to this.

   "Rex. I'm okay. It's been almost four months since he died. My mom was still crying every night, as of last week," I pause, to take that in. "I miss him and I wish he was still here... but I'm okay."

   "I'm glad your mom let you come back for the summer. For real," Rex tells me, then adjusts himself and sits up. "How's living on your own?"

   "It's cool," I say, because I don't want to tell him it's hard. "My mom's got eyes on me, though. Her friend, Kelly? Uh, Luke's mom? She's got her checking in on me."

   "Damn. Luke's such a pushover." Rex shakes his head.

   "I bet he's at the party," I say, and then avoid the look that I know he's giving me.

   "Damnit, Cohen. You want to go to the party that bad?" Rex laughs, but I can tell he's worried about me. He knows that Lola has moved on, and he knows I should definitely not try to get her back.

   "No. I don't want to see Lola with other guys."

   "You're so not over her." Rex is still laughing. "She was with Josh Raman last I heard. That dude's so jacked,"

   "Fuck," I spit out. I don't like Luke Turner and Isaac Wright all that much, but we were sort of friends, before I left. But Josh Raman? I hate that guy.

   Rex's phone rings and he pulls it out and groans. It's only like 10PM and we are just hanging out, catching up, but I know who's calling.

   "Hey, Mom. Yeah, I'm just with Cohen. I told you he came back for the summer. No. I'm not sure. I'm not drinking, I promise. I'll be home in an hour. Fine, thirty minutes. I know. Bye."

   "You're still on that tight leash, huh?" I laugh as he ends the call.

    "Shut it." Rex looks embarrassed as he tucks his phone away again.

   "You're eighteen, Rex. Why are they still so-"

   "I have to get up early to go do drills with my dad."

   I nod and leave it at that. Rex's parents have always been over protective. His dad played semi-pro football and Rex is expected to do the same, or more. He's an only child. He got into USC with a scholarship cause he's smart and he's good at football. I'm not going to college. At least not this fall. My dad dying really put a wrench in my plans, but no one was really expecting me to go to college, anyway.

   I played football in freshman year but got hurt - broken clavicle -  cause I was small. I played baseball for a few years after that and loved it but when my dad got sick, we couldn't afford it any more.

   "Tell your folks I say hi, then," I say and grin. They think I'm a bad influence on him but Rex won't admit that.

   "Yeah. I will," he says and shakes his head.

    "Bet they are pumped I'm back," I go on. I'm just trying to annoy him.

   "Stop, Cohen. I'm glad you're back. That's all that matters." He is trying to be serious  but I can't stop myself now.

   "Ha, you're a pussy. Why don't you give me a hand job, too."

   "Fuck off, I'm leaving," He laughs, though. "Don't go to the party. Or do? I don't know. Just don't get mad if you see Lola and-"

   "Fuck Josh Raman. He shoved me into a locker and locked it in freshman year. It was like an hour before I got out."

   Rex bursts out laughing and then covers his mouth when he see that I'm not laughing. I'm still pissed about that. Josh was a bully and now he's dating my ex girlfriend. I'm not okay with this.

   "Go," I say and laugh as he jumps up and waves. "Text me tomorrow."

   "I will."

   God, I love that kid. Rex and I went to school together since seventh grade. Before that, I lived in San Diego. My dad wanted to move to the small town. He wanted to retire from being a cop in a big city and live somewhere where everyone knows everyone. I was twelve and Abigail was eight when we started over in Avila Beach. My mom always missed San Diego and her parents and sister, but she loved the small town, too. I met Rex on my first day, a month into seventh grade, and we got along well right away.

   Rex has always been my sidekick or maybe I'm his. It doesn't matter. The point is when my dad died, he was there. And when my mom told us in March that we were going back to SD, I had a panic attack. I lost it on my mom. I told her she was ruining my life. I know. Her husband had just died. I was still dealing with that, too. But leaving Avila was the last thing I wanted to do. But Rex? He helped me pack. He told me he'd be here no matter what. He promised that we'd still be best friends. Rex's other friends are all jocks who play football and I knew he hated that I was leaving. But he was just there. He let me cry and freak out. And he's the one still by my side, three months later. I haven't even told anyone else that I'm back.

   I don't know what I'm doing in September. I don't even know what I'm doing this summer. But I've got Rex for two months. Except when his dad is making him run drills at 7A.M. on a Saturday.

   I sit there alone for fifteen minutes before I push out of the chair and slip on my flip flops. Earlier, when I went out for a run, I wore my sneakers. I've made it a habit to run for an hour on the beach every day. But I left my shoes inside and have been in flip flops ever since.

   I've been back almost a week and I already know that living on my own isn't going to be easy. No one picks up after me. No one does the dishes or the laundry. I did chores for my mom, sure, but this is everything, all on me. I'm barely an adult, and it's a bit overwhelming.

   I wanted to come back to spend the summer with Rex. To - maybe - get back with Lola Shyster, the girl who I dated for most of senior year. My mom didn't bother selling the house here and it's been empty since we left. She doesn't think I'll make it more than a few weeks, I know that for a fact.

   Now I drop my phone into my shorts pocket and start walking. The house is a few houses back from the water but it only takes me five minutes to get to my usual spot where I start my runs. But I'm not running tonight. I'm walking, down towards the pier. Down to that damn beach party where I know Lola is. Because I don't know if I am over her or not and if she's alone, I am sure as hell going to talk to her.