Cohen

Two days later, I'm back in Rex's hospital room again.

   After I knew he was going to be okay, I went back to Avila with Luke and spent a day in my house. While all of this was going on over the past five days, my mom had a real estate agent go through and take some pictures and I have already gotten a text saying the house is listed for sale. It breaks my heart, but I've been dealing with enough other shit this week that the house is the least of my concerns. Suddenly my house feels too empty and too clean and, well, barely mine anymore. But certain parts of the house still remind me of Teegan. My bedroom, specifically. And that damn tiny kitchen table that we sat at, drinking coffee.  I have to come to terms with this, though. I will be moving back to San Diego soon.

   It's Friday and I'm supposed to be at the Rental Hut. That situation is too weird for me, so I asked Luke to cover for me, again. I can't talk to Reese, my boss. I don't want to see her face and know that she knows that I hurt her daughter. I told her I wouldn't. So I'm at the hospital again, and for the first time in days, Rex's family isn't here.

   "Dude, I've been so bored today," he starts, as soon as I slide open the door and step into his room.

   I shake my head. "Bored? Really?"

   "Yes. What took you so long?" he asks, but I know he's teasing me.

   "I had to track down Isaac for a ride here," I tell him anyway. "Luke's working for me."

   "I was kidding. Thanks for coming, though. My parents had to work today. Work, while I'm still stuck here." Rex looks around the room. "Can you believe that?"

   I laugh and roll my eyes. I'm glad he is still his usually goofy self. "You're stuck here because you had surgery less than a week ago and just woke up from a coma two days ago," I remind him.

   He shrugs. "Right."

   "Rex..." I begin again, hoping he'll hear my serious tone. He looks at me, waiting. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't with you that night."

   Rex narrows his eyes and then shakes his head. His hair is getting long and looks shaggy as it flops over his forehead. "No. You don't do that. This isn't your fault, even a little bit."

   "But if I had gone to that party with you-"

   "No. You have no idea what would have happened, Co," Rex interrupts.

   "Maybe I'd be here in the hospital instead of you," I tell him.

   "What good would that do?"

   "Rex, you have a whole life ahead of you. You're supposed to be going to college in a few days-" My stomach drops because I haven't thought too much about this until now.

   "I'm still going. Just delayed a little," he tells me seriously.

   "Yeah, but... it should have been me."

   "Cut it out. This was an accident, and it happened to me, but I'm okay. See? I'm fine." He lifts his arms in the air and drops them again.

   "I'm so glad you're okay. Honestly," I tell him, because I mean it more than I have meant anything in awhile. "I'm going back to San Diego. Soon."

   "Yeah? What about Teegan?" he asks, as casually as ever.

   I shake my head, not sure I can even talk about her right now. But Rex is staring at me, waiting for an answer.

   "I messed up. I didn't say goodbye to her, and she's gone."

   "You have a phone, dummy. You can just call her," he says, again as if this is no big deal.

   "She's not going to want to hear from me," I tell him, but then plop down into the chair near his bed. "You getting up and walking yet?"

   "I walked to the bathroom this morning. Dude, I have a broken pelvis. It hurts." He's still smiling, somehow.

   "I bet. How long til you get out of here?" I want to know.

   "Um. The doctor told me they'd talk to my mom tonight when she gets here. Not sure if that's good or bad news," Rex replies. I nod, but he goes on right away. "Call Teegan. Seriously. You fucked up by not talking to her before she left. You can make it right."

   "I really don't know if I can." I admit this easily but I'm not looking at my best friend.

   "Do you want to be with her?" he asks, forcing me to look at him again.

   "Does it matter?" I ask back.

   He shakes his head, then rolls his eyes at me. My best friend is in this hospital bed after bad accident giving me advice on getting my girlfriend back. Of course he is.

   "It matters, because you're the one giving up right now. If she says she doesn't want to talk to you, then at least you know. If she calls you names or even if she hates you, then you have an answer. Not calling is just dumb."

   He's right, of course. I know this. But I want to be right. I drop my shoulders and look at my hands. 

   "She's already half way across the country. Or she will be soon. I don't think-"

   "I saw how you were with her, Co. I might have even been jealous a few times, because she made you so happy. You got to spend this summer with her but I know you weren't going to just let her leave, right? Only because I ended up in a coma did you let her leave without talking to her, right?" Rex goes on.

   "Right," I say, because arguing now makes no sense.

   "Well, you need to call and apologize for being an ass, then. You can blame me if you want," he tells me, then laughs.

   "I will not blame you," I say, shaking my head.

   "But you'll call her?"

   "I'll try."

   But I don't. Not that night and not the next night. It's Sunday before I get a call from Rex saying he is heading home, which is amazing. He's supposed to be heading to L.A. tomorrow, but he seems in good spirits about pushing that back by a week or two. He's still recovering from major surgery. His parents have contacted the dean at his college and they know what happened and are expecting him late.

   I got a call from my mom, too. She told me that it will be better if I just go back to San Diego sooner than later, because the house has already had a bunch of offers and I'm just in the way. I mean, she didn't say those words, but that's what she meant. So, I have started packing my stuff. I don't have a lot. Clothes, some books, some stuff in the kitchen like my coffee maker and my pots and pans and my favorite coffee mug. But really, I can pack it all easily into my mom's car when she comes to get me. I'm not overly upset about this, either. She said I can stay a few more days to hang out with Rex while he recovers at home, but that's it. My life in Avila is truly coming to an end.

   It's Sunday evening when I pick up my phone and start to call Teegan, but I end the call before she answers. I'm not ready to hear her yell at me. I'm not ready for the disappointment of what will likely come from talking to her. For now, I will let her be. She needs to get settled in New York, in her new life.

   But at 3A.M. I decide to try again. I can't sleep, and I don't even know what time it is where she is. I haven't thought it through enough to figure that out. I'll leave a message if she doesn't answer.

    It rings four times in my ear and then I hear some rustling. She doesn't say hello, so I just listen to her breathing for a few seconds before I say her name.

   "Teegan?"

   Still, she's just breathing into the phone. Maybe she didn't mean to answer? Maybe she's half asleep? I want her to say something but I also just want to hang up.

   "Teeg, it's Cohen. I'm so sorry. I just freaked out and I didn't know how to handle it. Rex is awake. He's okay. I just... I wanted to talk to you." I say this fast and all at once and then I wait.

  At least two minutes pass and then the call drops.