Teegan

I am pretty sure every single person who lives in Avila Beach is at the pier tonight. It's almost crowded, and I've never seen it like this before. I guess I've never been here for the fourth, either. I usually come mid July, for one week.

   It's still bright out - warm, sticky air surrounds us - and there's families and kids running around, laughing and playing. There's a big popcorn machine that some younger teenagers are running, and a blow up bounce house, which Oscar has already spent a large amount of time in. My mom is waiting in line with Josie to get her face painted, so I take Oscar over towards the Creamery. They are doing fifty percent off regular cones for the night, so I buy him one and get one for Josie, too.

   "This is the best!" Oscar yells, looking up at me. "There's so many people!"

   "Yeah," I agree, reaching for his hand. I do not want to lose him. Just thinking about that makes my heart sink.

   "There's my friend, Matthew! Hi, Matthew!" he yells again, letting go of my hand to wave wildly.

   "Hi Oscar!" the dark haired boy yells back.

   "Let's go find Mom! I want to tell her that I saw Matthew," Oscar says to me, and I reached down for his hand again. He's eating his ice cream happily and grins at me as we start making our way back to the face painting booth.

   It's a bit hectic making our way back over to where Josie is now almost at the front of the line. Oscar runs over to tell Mom about seeing his friend, and I look around a bit, taking everything in. We've been here for less than an hour and I feel overwhelmed. But it's really fun being a part of this, with my siblings.

   "Hey, girl!" I hear someone yell, off to my left.

   Looking over, I see Riss and Harlow, standing with two guys that I don't recognize. Riss is wearing a red and blue sun dress and her hair is in two pig tails with red scrunchies. Harlow is wearing red pants and a blue tank top. Very festive.

   "Hey," I say to them, even though we aren't really all that close to each other. I look to make sure my mom is with both kids before I walk over a bit closer to them.

   "Who are you here with?" Riss asks me, as one of the guys slips an arm around her waist.

   "Oh, my mom and my little brother and sister," I say, without thinking.

   Harlow laughs, her face sort of twisted up. "You mean Lola's brother and sister?"

   "Harlow," Riss snaps at her, and shakes her head at me. "Sorry."

   I shrug. "It's fine. I mean, yeah, they are both of our siblings."

   "Riss, let's go. I want to get sno cones," the guy says to her, and is already pulling at her to keep moving.

   "See you in a bit, at the party?" Riss asks me, looking hopeful

   "Yeah, maybe," I call back, and watch them go.

   And right then I realize that even though I fit in with my mom and her family better than I thought I would, I don't fit in anywhere else, here in Avila. I'm not going to have friends this summer, besides Oscar and Josie, and hopefully my mom. I'll work, and sun tan, and let these new relationships with my family blossom over the next six weeks. But I'm not going to try to make friends with these kids who I'll never see again after this summer.

   And I feel just fine about that, especially as I'm laying out the blanket that my Mom brought and little Josie is climbing into my lap, an hour later. It's just dark out now and there was an announcement from somewhere that the fireworks would be starting in five minutes. The beach is filled with chairs and blankets and giggling, excited children. Oscar sits besides me and squeezes my hand. My mom is standing, chatting with two other moms. Everything about this feels so right.

   The awe that I see on Oscar and Josie's faces once the show begins is worth all of this. They are just staring with wide eyes and then they are clapping and cheering. I've seen fireworks a hundred times but this is like the first time for me, too. With them.

   Josie is falling asleep in my lap as the last few fireworks go off. Everyone cheers at the end and Oscar jumps up and hugs our mom, thanking her for bringing them. It's after 10P.M., so I carefully lift Josie over my shoulder and my mom scoops up the blanket before we head back to the parking lot to get in the car.

   "That was amazing, right Teegna?!" Oscar says to me, his little face beaming.

   "Yeah, it was," I agree.

   I see my mom look over in the direction of the big party that is pretty much just starting, on Isaac Wright's property. "Go, we will wait in the car. Just text if your want to stay longer?"

   Right. I told her I'd drop in to the party to say hi. Who exactly would I be saying hi to? I don't want to go up there and force myself into a situation where I will likely be embarrassed again. I'm happy to go back to the house with my mom and avoid the party altogether. But I can tell my mom wants me to make an effort. Hell, I should want to. I'm here for six more weeks and hanging out with other teenagers should be on my agenda. And yet I'm one second away from telling her no, I'd rather go home with them, when I see Cohen and his friend, stomping down the beach towards the party.

   "Fine, I'll go for a little bit. Don't wait, though. I'll walk back," I tell my mom.

    She looks thrilled, as if I just told her she won a million bucks.

   "Here, pass me Josie," she says instead of anything else.

   I awkwardly transfer the sleeping toddler to her and step back and give Oscar a hug. He squeezes my legs tightly and then blows me a kiss before running through the sand, towards where the car is parked. Staying there, I watch until they are almost out of my sight, before I turn to go in the direction of the party.

   I see Lola's friend Sage, first, and then Riss, and I feel a bit better about agreeing to stay. Lola herself is no where to be seen, but her friends are in bikinis now and drinking from red plastic cups. Walking up to the deck, I head towards them right away.

   "You came!" Riss yells when she sees me.

   "Yeah-" I can barely answer before she hugging me. I can tell she's already been drinking for awhile.

   "Hey, Teegan, right?" Sage asks me, and I nod.

   "Let's get you a drink, girl," Riss says and pulls at my hand until we are over by the drink table.

   This girl is always getting me a drink.

   She grabs a cup and puts it under the tap of the keg and doesn't stop until it's very full. I take it when she shoves it towards me. She's talking about how she didn't think I'd come as we walk back over to her other friends. I stand near them, drinking this oddly warm but sweet beer, and wonder what the point of all of this is. These same teenagers get together to drink and party every weekend all summer? Seems like it would get old. I mean, as long as Luke and his girlfriend stay away from me, I should be okay.

   I know I saw Cohen and his friend walk up the deck just before I got  here, but now as I glance around, I don't see them anywhere. I kind of feel like I'd rather be wherever they are, but it's not like I'm going to start wandering around looking. They could be inside, or down by the water or - anywhere.

   "You need a refill?" a guy - the same guy that was being flirty with Riss earlier that evening, asks me. "I'm Carter, by the way."

   "Teegan. And, um, sure," I answer, then hold out my empty cup to him. "Thanks."

   "God, Riss, Carter is so hot," Sage giggles as he walks away. "You're so lucky he's back for the summer."

   "He's staying," she answers, then looks at me and back to Sage. "I guess L.A. didn't work out."

   "So are you dating, then?" Sage wants to know.

   I watch as Carter fills three plastic cups with beers and then manages to hold them on on his way back over to us. Just past him, I get a glimpse of two guys sitting down in the corner of the deck.  A few bodies get in the way but I adjust so I can see - and yes, it's Cohen and his friend.

   "We're not serious, but..." Riss answers as Carter approaches, handing out the cups.

   I take one and start drinking it right away. Cohen is here. And I don't know if he saw me. I don't know what to do. I know that having a couple of beers will make me feel a hell of a lot less tense, so I decide to do that.  I won't get drunk. I can handle myself.

   But only a short while later, Luke and Isaac and Miles are running out of the house, yelling about doing another fireworks show. I just follow Riss and Sage and the guys they are with down the steps of the deck and out towards the beach, hoping that I'm not making a horrible decision.