26/11/19

this black ribbon may look beaten up and insignificant, but it's one of my most valued possessions. i painted it on december 18th, 2017, when a piece of my soul died. ever since, it's become a symbol for mourning, for bittersweet memories, for a life that was taken before time, a simple piece of thread that I'm so used to that I feel incomplete without it.

but it's not only for jjong. it's for minwoo, for dongyoon, for sulli, for hara, for rise, for eunbi, for in kyu, for sojin. it's for my grandma, for my cousin, for my grand grandfather, for my aunts and uncles, for everyone that has been loved and lost. it stands for my anxiety. it stands for my sister's scars. it stands for every disaster and trauma.

so, when people stare at it, wondering why i wear a black ribbon as an ugly bracelet, i can just smile up to the sky, knowing everyone there is also smiling down to me, knowing i'm not okay, but that i'm trying my best. and i say the words that were painted on it two years ago, too faded to see now but as meaningful as ever. the ones that give me a little hope each day.

"YOU DID WELL"