When I was little I used to wonder why teenagers started to rebel against their parents when they reached a certain age, why so many of them fell mentally ill, why it seemed everyone started fighting with their parents to the point of being slapped.

Now I understand, it's not suddenly feeling this huge anger towards your parents, or the so called "adolescent mood swings", or anything like that. It's just, we start realising how truly shitty people is.

I grew up with "present parents that were always there for me". 

Now I realise it was all a lie. 

They were physically there, but they were never mentally or emotionally present. I was forced to carry my entire family's emotions on my shoulders ever since I have memory, causing me to have severe anxiety and problems to socialise ever since I was a kid.

They told me I just needed to man up and stop being shy. 

My sister was depressed and used to cut her thighs. I was tricked into believing she was just faking it for attention. 

They say I don't need perfect grades, that they still love me and they know I'm an intelligent girl. But whenever I get my grades, I get shouted at for "not doing my best", even though I've worked my ass off all the year to try and get good grades.

They say they love my sister and I, that they want to help us with whatever problem we may have, yet, they won't believe us when we tell them we're not okay. 

They think they're good parents, yet, they don't realise they are abusive. But we do