i feel awful today for no specific reason other than the fact that i am mentally ill,, i tried to read an article for a team project and i couldn't understand what it said, so that just made it worse cause i'm letting my team down,,,,my sister's little comments on how i do stuff wrong are estuvieron not helping when i'm trying my best to be of use bUT I DON'T LIVE HERE, I DON'T KNOW HOW THINGS ARE DONE!! SHE KNOWS I SCREW UP WHEN GIVEN UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS, AND YET SHE KEEPS DOING IT! i'm just so tired, i want to curl up in my bed and cry but i can't even do that cause i'm sharing a room with my sister and my uncle is next door and this is not my house

my cat is helping a bit but i still feel awful, it doesn't help that i feel alone, like i can't talk to anyone anymore about these things. my best friend and i have been drifting apart lately,, and i don't even know if it's true or if the depression/anxiety combo is making me think that way? and i don't want to burden him, i feel like he gives a lot of himself and i give really little in return despite wanting to,, i feel he would be better off without me, that i'm just damaging him by being around, but i also know that it's not my desicion to make, but he's also too nice and won't want to tell me if i'm too much. he's the only friend like that i've ever had, and i selfishly don't want to lose him because i need him, but he doesn't need me

i'm just so tired and lonely and sad, and i don't know what to do to make it better