Cry? Why cry? I've been through this hell of a rollercoaster with him and I don't think I have enough tears in me anymore.

Cry? I've cried all I had that night my heart was chattered into bits. The night I turned into the pathetic little girl who crumbled in front of her friends.

The sad thing and what's making me angry as hell is that I still love him, and the worst part is that I didn't get to say it to him.

It's been three days and I've avoid everything Drake related. Anyways, it's not like anything he says I've never heard before. The weird thing is that, he has stopped trying. Yesterday, I did not receive any calls or messages from him. Maybe I've been right all along. I'm not enough for him.

But whatever it is, I can't talk to him right now. I need to think what I'm going to say to him when I confront him.

My mind has not stopped thinking of the possibilities of everything that has happened. What drove him into doing that? Why was I not enough? Was she taking advantage of him? What kind of idiot would confuse the person he loves for another?

The last one has been on my mind more than the others. Yes, I've heard Drake's version, but still couldn't forgive him. There is no rock-climbing/romantic dinner that could save him right now.

October was now over and November brought what I didn't felt like celebrating anymore, homecoming.

Thank God it's Wednesday. My school do all that traditional homecoming sh*t. With my mood, it's driving me insane. But today, it's "wear your pajamas to school day". I couldn't be more thankful. I wore a long sleeve black sweater with my long red, black and grey pajama pant bottoms.

I was currently sitting at the back of the physics room waiting for this nightmare to be over. I'm good at every subject at school, but right now Mr. Stevenburg was driving me insane. Why is it that teachers don't have an off button just to make them shut up?

My prayers were answered when the bell rang finally letting us go to lunch.

"Thank God we are finally out!" Tori joined me while we were walking towards the lunchroom.

"One more minute and I think I would've banged my head against the desk." I reached for the doors and huffed when I saw the line. Brad came sneaking behind Tori and hugged her. He was whispering things in her ear, while her face was turning redder by the second. I felt like I was intruding and decided to give them some space.

"I'm going to find us a seat while this line goes down." I turned to one of the free tables nearby and sunk on one of the seats while I waited. I crossed my arms and rested them on the table. My head was resting on them...maybe I could take a short nap. That's when I felt that someone banged on the table.

I jumped and found that the idiot was none other than Mason.

I resumed my previous position. Sadly, that didn't stop him from babbling on about yesterday.

"It sucks the fact that "rent-a-senior day" its over." I don't know why he's complaining. Usually that day it's awful. The freshmen not only take advantage of the situation, but of the senior also.

"You are just mad you won't get to do it today." A mumble was all that could be heard in my position.

"Hey, it's good money." I guess being with the same person for years gives you the power to understand their blabbering.

"It's only five bucks." I raised my head just so he could see the flat expression I had on my face.

"It's good money." He repeated with the same facial expression I have.

I rolled my eyes just in time to see Tori and Brad sitting across from us. Tori handed me two slices of pizza, a coke, and a bag of chips. I didn't tell her to, but still she bought my lunch.

"Dude, are you still complaining about that dumb day? You're such a chick." Brad teased while frowning at the mess he was creating with his lunch. That made me smile. I think the very first one since I was made of a fool in front of my friends.

I looked at Tori and she realized the same thing I did. She smiled along and continued eating.

I'm so thankful for them. I'm thankful for the fact that I don't have to act so much this brave façade.

I noticed a change in the mood quickly when I looked at Tori. She was looking at something over my shoulder and her body went rigid. Brad noticed her action too and directed his sight towards what she was looking at. His face portrayed that look that I've come to know and see a few times over the years I've known him.

He was here.

I didn't even turn to look back to know it.

It didn't take long for me to feel his presence behind me. "What the f*ck do you want?" Mason surprised me by asking. He knows he could easily get his ass kicked by saying that, but he still did...to defend me.

"I came to talk to Emily." Drake said in a non-hostile tone like Mason's.

I took a deep breath. I wasn't ready to talk to him jet, but if talk is all he wants, I'll oblige.

"Alright." I stood up, not only to my friend's amazement, but mine also. "Let's talk." I said after I turned to him with a blank expression.

I grabbed my bag and started walking towards the hall. I didn't even look back to try to see if he was following. I was certain he was.

When we reached the hall, Drake caught up to me and grabbed my hand. I tried to break from his hold but he was too strong. By now, he was leading me towards the exit.

"Drake let go. Where are we going?" I asked now that we passed the exit and were walking towards the parking lot. Drake kept quiet and turned a corner.

When I saw to where he was taking me, it got me mad.

"Why the hell are you walking me towards your bike? I thought you wanted to talk." I stopped a few feet from his motorcycle and he let go of my hand.

He kept ignoring me and opened the little compartment that held my helmet. I mean his helmet.

"Put this on." He ordered. What the hell? Who the hell does he think he is giving me orders after everything he did?

"No" I answered narrowing my eyes at him.

"Emily, put it on." He ordered again, this time making me take the helmet in my hands.

"I said no. I don't know what your plan is but I did not agree to this."

"You leave me no choice."

Oh no, last time he said those words I ended up on –"Drake! Put me down!" I yelled while I pounded his back. This is the third time he's done this.

"I told you to put the helmet on. You should've listened." He walked towards his bike with me over his shoulder.

"You assh*le! After you put me through, you embarrass me this way." By the time I finished my sentence, he placed me on his bike. He looked at me and the smug look that he had vanished when he saw the stupid tears that were rolling down my face.

Hurt flashed his eyes. He made a move to try to wipe my tears but I pulled my face away. "Baby please, come with me. That's all I'm asking. I won't make you do anything that you don't want to. You know me, but not being able to talk to you is killing me." I kept trying to control my heavy breathing. I nodded once giving him the answer to my resolution.

He exhaled softly, took the helmet from the floor where I dropped it, and put it over my head gently.

He got on the bike and turned it on. I was waiting for him to start driving but he remained there.

"Emily I can't drive if you don't hold on to me." He said trying to look at me over his shoulder.

I breathed again slowly, trying to keep my anger at bay. I reluctantly encircled my arms around his waist and we began to head off to wherever he was taking me.

He took me back to the beach where we first kissed. I got out of the bike without his help and placed the helmet on the seat.

Since it was the beginning of November the wind has turned chilly. I crossed my arms in front of myself trying to keep some warmth. I turned to look at Drake when he placed his leather jacket on my shoulders. I didn't feel that guilty when he took it off to give it to me since he was wearing a long sleeve gray sweater with faded jeans. While I was still on my pajamas, he looked like he was just dropped from heaven. I turned my sight realizing that he was no longer mine to ogle at. I frowned and kept looking forward. We walked until we reached a trunk on the sand that's used as a bench.

A couple of seconds went by. And since he dragged me here, it was only fair that he started the conversation.

I heard him take a deep breath for the hundredth time, but this time he spoke. "What do you want Emily?"

"What?"

"What do you want?" He asked again like if for the second time what he was saying was making sense. "What do you want in life?"

"What are you talking about? Why are you asking all this qu—"

"I need to know Emily." He turned to me with a serious expression.

I took a deep breath, giving his question some thought.

"Everything" Was the best answer I could come up with. "I want everything. I want to go to college, I want to travel, I want to get married, I want to own a house, I want to have children. Mostly, what every girl basically dream about since she learned to walk and tried to wear her mother's heels." A sad smile appeared on my lips at the mention of that sweet memory.

"But, what does it has to do with our situation?" I turned to him confused.

"Everything" He answered and dropped his shoulders in defeat.

"Are we discussing this or are we just going to go in circles?" I don't know where he was intending to go with this, but it was making me impatient.

"The girl you saw me with is a manipulative bitch. She's the sister of the man I owe all that money to. At first, I met her and we hooked up. I didn't know she was related to him." Listening to this was making me nauseous. "But after that, she became this psycho controlling bitch who wouldn't leave me alone. She even tried to threaten me after I threw her out of my house. She said that she would make my life miserable. I didn't give it any thought since I haven't seen her since that day." He stood and began to pace in front of me. "I believe that the note that you found in your room it's not a threat from dealer, but it was from hers instead. And I don't know what she's planning, but I'm afraid that it involves you."

"So let me get this straight." I stood to be somewhat at his level and to make him stop pacing. "You have been with this girl before?"

Regret and guilt flashed through his eyes. "Yes"

"You have been with the girl who has set a vendetta against me for no reason?"

"Yes, but that was before I found you again." The pleading in his tone got my heart aching.

"I don't know what to believe anymore. You were kissing her, not her just kissing you, you were kissing her! How the f*ck am I supposed to think of that?" My anger rose as well as my tears. "I don't want to be this person anymore. I want to be able to trust you. But how the f*ck am I supposed to do that when every time everything is going f*cking swell you go and mess it up?!"

Drake stood silent, even when I punched him repeatedly on the chest during my rant.

"You know what I hate? feeling like every time I trust someone they take advantage of me." Drake stopped acting like a statue and held me tight in an embrace that I wish it never ended.

But like everything else, it had to.

Drake let go of me to look me in the eyes. "That's what I meant when I said everything." He was shaking a little and that scared me. The hurt in his eyes was unbearable, even for me.

"Emily, you deserve it. You deserve to have everything and even more...I love you...but I don't have everything, not even close."

"I don't want you to be in this mess anymore. I don't want you to suffer. I can't do that to you." I felt like I couldn't breathe the moment a tear escaped from his eye.

"I should've stayed away from the beginning, but I don't regret it. That got me to love you...I'm sorry, but...I don't want you to be with me anymore."

Is it possible? For your world to shatter again in so a short period of time? It happened to me...

and I didn't even get to say I love you too...

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Two chapters in two days...Well I owed that to you guys. You guys are awesome, and reading my story and liking it makes you awesomer, haha. Next chapter won't be until next week, sorry :(

Thank you for your support,

Kim <3

Song on the side's the one that inspired this chapter. "Don't judge me" by Chris Brown.

*Note: I never proofread, so if you notice an error please point it out. :)