Nick planned to talk to Karl. They even agreed to go somewhere over the weekend. Sapnap had to mentally prepare for the conversation, as it seemed simple, but Nick really didn't want to lose Karl. He didn't want to lose his daily good morning's or his typical 'you look really good today, Nick', and maybe even his constant hand-hitting, suggesting that Sapnap should hold it and stop making a fool of himself.

Despite his promises that they needed to talk quickly and seriously, Karl allowed himself to be led for another two weeks until he finally forced Nick into a serious conversation. He addressed it one day after work when he visited Nick, saying that one of the guys living with him had a very complex skincare routine or some girl was their constant guest. Nick felt so stupid and scared that he suggested they watch a movie and talk about it another time. Jacobs allowed that only because younger boy promised him that they really talk on Saturday.

So when on Saturday, instead of going to the skate park, Nick had to prepare for a very unpleasant conversation, he felt shivers. They were going to get smoothies and get it over with quickly. At least Sapnap hoped it would be that way.

They met at 2pm and Nick already knew he had been defeated at the entrance. Karl looked like a little cherub. He was wearing a purple sweatshirt with a zipper under his neck, which was completely undone, revealing a necklace on his neck made of colorful beads and stones. He didn't wear shorts, but he definitely chose pants with holes on his thighs on purpose, Nick had no doubt about it. It seemed like he was glowing, and when he hugged Sapnap in greeting, he felt a very sweet smell. Nick was convinced that Karl was using women's perfume; there wasn't even another option.

"You're looking at me like you like something" Jacobs murmured to him quietly and smacked his lips lightly.

"You have lip gloss on," Nick muttered, looking at him uncertainly.

"Mhm, if you want to try it, you know what to do," he said, winking at the younger one.

Nick tried to look away from Karl, feeling a little flustered. He wasn't sure if it was because of how good Karl looked or because he was nervous about the impending conversation. He cleared his throat and tried to focus on the task at hand.

"Let's get some smoothies. Do you want to stay here and chat, or do we go for a walk?" the older asked calmly.

"We can sit outside somewhere" he suggested.

Karl nodded enthusiastically, causing his curls to bounce slightly. They looked somehow softer than usual. Nick wanted to touch them but didn't want to be weird.

"What flavor are you in the mood for?" Jacobs asked, looking at the menu written on the wall. One of his hands was on his chin as he pondered. Sapnap looked at his purple and white nails and rings, which he didn't usually wear because they always met at the skate park or after work where he couldn't wear them. "I think I'll go for the wild berries. And you Nick?"

Karl looked in his direction, meeting his eyes and smiled affectionately.

"The menu is on the wall, not on me, you know?" he sweetly chuckled.

"Very funny" Sapnap replied. "You don't have to be so sarcastic."

"I'm not, I'm not," he whispered, still smiling brightly. "So, what would you like to drink?"

Sapnap looked at the options and sighed a little. "Raspberry with vanilla sounds good."

"Indeed" Karl agreed, looking pleased and casually hooking his arm over Sapnap's shoulder, as he often did. "So, wait here, I'll order."

Nick looked at him meaningfully. "You're not paying for me."

"You'll venmo me later" he dismissed him and quickly walked over to the counter where the employee smiled sweetly at him.

Nick watched as Jacobs happily talked to the girl while placing the order and she gazed at him with buttery eyes. He wanted to scoff at how comical it looked and draw her attention to stop her from drooling over customers, but it wasn't like he had any say in who saw Karl's beauty. And that annoyed him terribly.

He sat at one of the tables, waiting for Karl to finally return with their orders and stop feeding the girl with his sweet words.

That's exactly why Nick stared relentlessly the whole time, while Karl stood leaning on the counter pretending not to see him. Nick shouldn't be doing that, but apparently masochism was one of the things that suddenly became a constant in his life and was somehow always tied to Karl.

Karl, who handed him his smoothie with a warm smile and wrapped his lips around his straw, staring straight into Sapnap's eyes.

"Shall we go?" Nick muttered evasively, and without waiting, they walked towards the exit. Sapnap opened the door for him, letting him go first.

"How nice," Karl said melodiously, biting his straw. "Are you trying to sweeten my life before stabbing me in the heart?"

Nick looked at him blankly. "Hey, don't talk like that."

"I'm a big boy, I can handle it" he assured him. "There's a park nearby, would that be okay?"

Nick nodded, and the two walked towards the supposed park. The silence between them was almost deafening, with only the sound of their footsteps breaking it occasionally. As they approached the park, Nick could feel his heart rate increasing. This was it, the moment of truth. They were getting closer to resolving everything, and that was a little scary.

Once they arrived at the park, they both surveyed the area, searching for a spot to sit and talk. Nick spotted a bench that was situated a good distance away from the children's playground so the kids' screams wouldn't bother them as much. He pointed it out to Karl, who nodded in agreement.

They walked over to the bench, taking a seat beside each other. Nick fidgeted nervously with the hem of his shirt, while Karl calmly sipped on his smoothie, seemingly unbothered by the impending conversation.

The bench they chose was surrounded by trees, which provided some shade from the sunlight. The gentle rustling of leaves and distant chirping of birds made the atmosphere peaceful and serene, in stark contrast to the turmoil within Nick's mind.

Sapnap could feel the weight of the situation bearing down on him. The air was thick with tension.

"So," Karl said, smiling slightly at Nick, whose knee gently touched the older man's thigh as he turned a little toward him. "Maybe we should get to the point?"

"Yeah, maybe" Nick mumbled, and they looked at each other. "I just don't know where to start."

Karl took a sip of his smoothie and nervously licked his lips. He had to ask the question that was on his mind. He knew it was important to get all the facts straight before they went any further. "Well, maybe start by informing me if you have a girlfriend" he shyly requested.

Nick shifted, his eyes darting away from Karl's gaze. He was hesitant to answer, and it blurred the smile on the older man's face.

"Wait... you're joking, right? You're not telling me you're cheating on someone with me" Karl said seriously concerned.

"What?" Nick whispered, furrowing his brow in confusion. "First of all, I'm not cheating on anyone. Second, I don't have a girlfriend."

The tension eased from Karl, and it was visible to the naked eye. His expression softened a bit as he let out a relieved sigh.

"She's more like... a friend" Sapnap said uncertainly because he didn't know if those weren't too big words for what they really were to each other.

"I'm starting to notice a pattern in your 'friendships'" Karl told him seriously, raising one eyebrow slightly. Sapnap couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.

"Well... um... it's not like we're really friends. We're more like close acquaintances" Sapnap tried to explain further.

"You're sleeping with her," Karl said, clearly not thrilled but also not looking particularly hurt. It was like he knew all along. "You know, it's not that hard to figure out that someone is often at your place. I literally saw mascara in the bathroom and a bra under your bed. You're not really good at hiding it."

Nick turned red. "Um yeah... maybe."

"So, you want her to be your girlfriend?" Karl asked carefully.

"Uh- no, I guess," Nick replied quietly, feeling the older boy's scrutinizing gaze on him. "We just sleep with each other sometimes. It's not really serious. If either of us wants to have fun, we have each other to turn to."

"Okay. So, it's nothing serious with- what's her name?" Karl asked calmly, leaning comfortably on the bench.

"It's actually pretty funny, because... you two have almost the same name," Nick admitted, which made Karl furrow his brows and look somewhat disgusted. "Her name is Karla."

"What? Did you really find a female version of me?" he asked in visible disgust.

"Of course not!" Nick also grimaced.

"If I find out that you could have been seeing and sleeping with me this whole time, I will literally hit you with a brick" Karl decided with deadpanned expression.

"That's not very nice" Nick said with his gaze softly fixated on Jacobs' face. "What's wrong with you, Karl?"

"I'm just saying, you don't have to look far if I've been here all along, willing to do anything and I've been telling you that for a long time," he shrugged, then took a sip of his smoothie with a look that seemed to say he was better than everyone else.

Silence fell between them for a while. Nick knew he had to be the one to start the next part of the conversation.

"Karl, okay- So, another thing now, I officially want to tell you that there'll be nothing between us," Nick muttered.

"Yeah, you've said that a million times," Karl replied not really seemed too fazed. "And then I see you staring at my ass. I know you like me, Nick. I know you're into me."

"Okay, listen to me carefully," Nick requested, turning to face him fully so they could look each other in the eye. "It's precisely for those reasons that there will be nothing between us."

"Because you like me?" Karl burst out laughing at the statement.

"Yes. Because I like you, I don't want to be a jerk, okay?" Nick sighed. "Because you said you wanted dates, holding hands, and flying hearts or something. I don't. And don't tell me we don't have to be official.. because I know you'd only do it because you like me. Karl, you're incredibly cute, like.. damn, I can't stop staring at you even today. And you're adorable at the level of making me a complete mush. And I can't stop thinking about how you kissed me, and I want to do everything that comes to mind when I see you smile, but I don't want to be in a relationship. I can't give you what you really want. I like you too much to ruin our relationship because suddenly I don't know the world beyond your sexy legs."

Karl chuckled; his cheeks slightly flushed.

"No! Because at the end of the day, it's not that funny, Karl," Nick sighed. "Because I don't want to hurt you. You don't deserve anyone breaking your heart."

"Anything else you'd like to add?" He asked with a teasing smile.

"I don't know. Probably not" Nick muttered.

"Thank God" the man replied seriously. "Because maybe you need to learn to reject others. Maybe work on the part where you don't confess your big obsession, and then maybe I'll actually consider accepting something like this."

"I just told you we don't want the same things," Nick sighed. "How can it not bother you that I'm literally kind of dating someone else while you're trying to pick me up?"

"Oh, it bothers me. I think it's the dumbest thing you've ever done. I mean, Karla? Seriuosly? But.. I won't give up. I can even tell you something in secret."

"What?" Sapnap asked, disoriented.

"I can be a hundred times better for you than her," he said softly, moving closer to Nick. Close enough that they could feel each other's breaths. "I can be a better boyfriend. I can do things she never even thought of doing. I think even if she were your girlfriend, I'd steal you from her. So you better shut up, before I'll shut you up with my mouth."

"K-karl" Nick struggled to breathe as he felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Nah uh" Karl murmured. "I warned you."

And then Nick felt his lips on his own. Karl kissed him so confidently and skilled that Sapnap simply returned the kiss in a second. Jacobs grabbed Sap's side with his free hand and pulled him closer. The kiss was so intense that Nick felt like he was losing himself in the moment. Karl's lips were soft yet demanding, and Nick found himself becoming more and more lost in the sensation. He felt Karl pull his head back, deepening the kiss even further.

After what felt like an eternity, they finally broke apart, both gasping for breath. Nick felt dizzy, his head spinning from the intensity of the kiss. He could feel the heat radiating off Karl.

As he looked up at Karl, he saw the older man's smile, a smug look on his face. Nick felt a sudden pang of self-consciousness, wondering if he had done something wrong. But then Karl's eyes flicked down to his lips, and he saw the smudge of lipstick on Nick's face.

Karl chuckled softly. "Looks like I left my mark on you," he said with a grin, reaching out to wipe away the lipstick with his thumb.

Nick blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and awkwardness. He couldn't believe what had just happened.

"You were saying something?" Karl asked suggestively. Nick was silent, completely pushed into the corner. "I thought so, honey."

"That's not a fair move," Nick said meaningfully.

"Yeah, now it's your turn to kiss me and get back at me" Karl replied, amused.

Nick did exactly that, surprising Jacobs and even himself a little. Karl chuckled into his mouth, returning the kiss quickly.

Nick's hand found its way to the back of Karl's neck, pulling him closer. Karl responded with a low hum of pleasure, deepening the kiss and exploring Nick's mouth with his tongue.

When they finally pulled away from each other, Karl's eyes were sparkling with fondness.

"Remember when you said something about how it feels nice when someone touches you after smoking weed?" Jacobs whispered softly against his lips. "Because I wanted to test that out."

"You'll regret it," Nick muttered.

"Shh, silly. Break my heart, I don't care," he said gently. He sounded confident. Nick was so weak with him.

"How is it that you can convince me to do anything?" he whispered.

"I know all the weak points of my little princess" he joked.

"Don't call me that" Nick grumbled.

"I think I will" he said enjoying the situation very much. "What will you do? Tell me again how much you like me?"

"I really do like you," Nick admitted softly.

"I like you too," Karl assured him, giving him a peck on the lips. "And I really like the way you kiss me. You should do it more often. And break my heart if you have to. Even right now, I don't care."

So Nick, being the weak and foolish person he was, started kissing him again as if the world was going to end.

"You see- it's not that- difficult-" Karl murmured between kisses, and it did things to Nick. Very serious things.

They spent so much time kissing on the bench in the park that Karl's lip gloss disappeared completely from both of their faces.

And then, as if nothing had happened, Karl leaned on Nick's shoulder and told him that his friend would be visiting him soon, stealing Nick's cup to drink his smoothie. The smooth conversation started between them and the previous anxiety that was with them earlier seemed to disappear. Like Nick didn't just fail at what he was supposed to do.

Sometimes Sapnap really hated his dick and the fact that he let it think for him.