*Jiya Pov*

"Five months two weeks." I continued to chant staring at his back.

"Why are you saying that repeatedly?" He asked turning around.

"Look at what you are doing." I replied scolding him, and he turned chuckling.

"This is not driving a car, Jiya. This is just cooking." He said.

"And in cooking the whole kitchen can be burned." I said, rolling my eyes and continued to chant the time left for him to leave.

He is really making me mad every second being the thoughtful guy which I never saw even while dating him or even after marrying him.

He always used to say 'Don't cry at the silliest things.' But now all he has to say is 'Cry Jiya'. I shook my head, frowning and scolded the day.

Why it should be Saturday and not some other day? He suddenly decided to cook for us, and I am waiting for him to complete so that I can cook my food.

I am hungry! I shouted inside, but outside I said, "I am going out."

"Where?" he asked, completely walking away from the stove.

"I have some work." I replied, getting up from the chair.

"Well, eat and leave." He said and in a few minutes, he put something in front of me.

"What is it?" I asked him looking at the green water.

"Palak paneer." He replied grinning.

I glanced around and saw that there is nothing except this. I frowned and asked, "Where are roti's?"

"You do half things and I will do half things. That's what a marriage is right." He replied.

"But that's not what you said while I did everything... for you." I mumbled in the end.

"And that is my mistake, but now we are not going to make that mistake." He said nodding at me.

"I just need to fix this water into curry. In the meantime, mix the flour." I said, taking the curry or water or whatever inside.

After fixing the curry, I turned to see him holding flour in one hand and holding a water glass in another. He pours a handful of flour in one bowl and then a little water.

And that's what he has done all this time. I took that away and mixed the flour properly.

"Now, do some rounds." I said and then added, "You do know what is round right?"

"Of course." He replied and looked at me like I insulted him.

He did and then I asked him to do the roti which he did. I don't care whether they are round or not because we eat them cutting it into pieces right.

Finally, I had my brunch. I was hungry from the morning, but because of him, I couldn't eat anything.

"I was good right?" he asked eating, and I gave him a look seeing which he sat calmly.

"You really intimidate everyone, Jiya. You need to stop that." He added.

"How shall I do that?" I asked him ignoring his comment.

"Cry Jiya." He replied.

I glared at him and didn't utter even a single word. After that I walked inside the washroom with only one thing in my mind.

However, he wrote the word even on the new ones. God! I didn't do it for the past two weeks.

How dare he to come here and tell me what to do and what not to do? He did everything, until now, like he wished with my life but not now.

I gripped the blades in my hand and walked outside with him inside the room laying on the bed with closed eyes.

"How dare you?" I shouted and he immediately sat up.

"What?" he asked, frowning.

"How dare you to tell me what to do and what not to do? This is my life, and I will live on my wish." I replied shouting more.

"Jiya!" he said, looking at my hand.

"Do you want me to end my life at a time? Is that what you want?" I asked showing them.

"Well, I will do it." I said, holding them more tightly in my palm.

"Jiya!" He shouted in anger and opened my hand.

He threw all of them away and pulled me towards the washroom and started cleaning the wounds.

"Do you even realize what are you doing?" he asked after bandaging the wound.

"Yes! And you are, no one to interrupt it." I replied pushing him away.

"I am your husband." He shouted, holding my shoulders.

"Yes, you are my husband who wants nothing but to utilize me. You acted that you have an interest in me. You acted that you like me. You acted that you love me." I said each word hitting him.

"You acted like I am the most special person in the world to you. You acted like we both are soul mates. You acted like I am the only one for you. You acted like my best friend. You slept with me and acted like you made love to me. You did all those and now you are here to do something with my life." I said.

"Jiya! All those are not true. I really got attracted and I really liked you from so long, and you were special to me from the beginning. I made love to you Jiya, and I were and am so attracted to you." He said still holding my shoulders.

I fumed at him and slapped his cheek. I held his collar in my hands and asked, "Do you think I am foolish? Even after losing the baby, I asked you whether you loved me or not, and you said no directly looking into my eyes."

"I didn't know that I loved you at that time. Call me a fool, but I really love you." He said pleadingly.

"Do you remember I said my love was an act? It was an act because I stopped loving from the time, I lost my baby and the days I stayed in your house, I didn't feel anything towards you. I really don't love you." I shouted, pushing him away, and I felt his face in a blur.

"I am not asking you to love me dammit. You hate me right? Then show me how much you hate me. Beat me or scold me or do anything." He said coming near me again.

"Yes, I hate you. You killed my baby." I said hitting him and pushing him away, but he held me tightly in his arms.

"I hate you so much." I shouted and released a loud sob.

"My baby was there and I lost it. My baby is dead because of me. I killed my baby." I said crying more holding his shirt.

"No! I did it." He said.

"No! I should have never loved you, and if I didn't then, I may have not lost my baby. I killed it." I said crying my heart out holding him tightly.

He gently walked and then I felt him lying down on the bed. I still closed my eyes and continued to cry remembering how I felt when I heard the news.

How much I wanted to cry in guilt for durga's death? I thought about everything and cried more while he rubbed my back.

I don't know for how much time I cried, but after some time, I opened my eyes and looked up to see his eyes bright red.

"Do you know I could have saved B? But she died because of me." I said crying.

"It is not your fault." He said holding my face.

"No! I don't like my brother, but I loved him, so I tried a little to warn her, but I really thought he loved her. I was really naïve right." I said, and he shook his head.

"No! We all are fools to hurt you. You are not naïve. You are just the most kind-hearted person we are lucky to have met." He said, and I cried more hiding my face in his neck.

"It hurt so much when he hit me with the rod. I wanted to cry, but I didn't." I said and cried more.

"Then when you were taken to the hospital, I got scared and wanted to cry, but I didn't." I said holding him.

"Don't waste your tears on me." He said still rubbing my back.

"That day when I got stomach pain I wanted to cry, but I didn't." I said, and I felt him nodding.

"Then when I was fixing coffee for you my hand burned, but I didn't cry." I said showing him my right hand.

"I am sorry that you burned your finger because of me." He said, kissing my finger, but I didn't open my eyes.

"You really hurt me so much, Ajay. I wish you didn't." I said sniffing.

"I wish that with my whole life." He mumbled making me frown.

"One day when I was in bus someone stepped on my feet, and I didn't cry." I said and felt him chuckling.

"Don't laugh! I will cry more." I said threatening him.

"Cry all you want Jiya because I am here to hold you." He said making me hold him even tighter, and I drifted off into sleep.

I woke feeling someone shaking me. I got up to see Ajay is holding a plate with roti and curry.

"Curry is today afternoon's and then I made the roti." He said smiling and sat before me.

"Eat!" he said placing the plate in my hands.

"Ahh..." I said, opening my mouth.

He suddenly grinned and started feeding me and ate by himself as well. When we finished, I sat there and waited for him.

"Sleep." He said sitting on the bed.

"You said you will hold me when I cry, right?" I asked him, and he nodded frowning.

"I want to cry more." I said, feeling tears forming.

"And I am here." He said hugging me and once again he is sleeping on the bed, and I am sleeping over him.

He took my left hand in his hand while I cried and asked, "You are not doing it again, right?"

He traced the fingers on the markings and removed the watch. I sniffed and said, "I didn't from the time you are here."

"You will not do again, right?" he asked, and I heard hope.

"No!" I whispered and he kissed on the markings, making me close my eyes.

He continued to pester kisses there, and I slowly drifted off into sleep. I will not do another one.

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i dont have words to say anything...

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