I hear the bells chime it's hourly ring as I pull up closer to the church. I was never fond of this holy place but I guess I made an effort for today.
I park my car in an open place and looked into the rearview mirror one last time.

My tired blue eyes haven't shut at night since the day I heard of the announcement. I fixed my dark brown curls and my blue tie before leaving the car and locking it.
I see people already walking into the church. I then see my best friend Luke in a red suit, black tie and shiny black dress shoes.
He was laughing at someone's joke before he saw me and his attitude changed immediately, quickly walking up to me.

"Jonathan." He sounded surprised when he pulled me into a hug. "I didn't think you would come." He pulled me away and held my shoulders while looking at me sympathetically.
I faked a smile and shook my head, "I'm okay, it doesn't affect me anymore." I could tell Luke wasn't convinced but he smiled nonetheless and escorted us to our seats. We sat on the right side of the church, three rows from the alter, next to our other friends.

They were excited when they saw me, chatting and made their usual jokes, trying their best to make me laugh since they knew the situation I was in. I looked back to get a good look of the church.
Towards the entrance, it was lightly decorated with purple flowers and white lace along the seats.

Our color.

"Jon?" I looked back to Marcel wearing a worrysome expression.
The rest of my friends did the same. The voices of guest and family came into hearing as I realized I zoned out.
"Oh, sorry guys I didn't hear what you said." I look at my bitten nails while they whispered. I knew it was about me.

Before anyone could say anything, the priest, the best man and the groom came from the back of the alter onto the stage. The groom was nervous but when he saw all of us, his face lighten up.
"Guys! I'm so glad you are here! I'm excited but nervous and-" Before he could of finished his sentence, he saw me and I honestly wasn't sure what his expression was: shock, happiness, pity, pride?
"J-Jonathan! I didn't know you would-"
"Neither did I but I'm here." I cut him off and forced a smiled but I hope he picked up the venom laced on my words. He didn't seem too because he smiled big and walked over to me and hug me.

I was tense but hugged back regardless. My friends realized the awkwardness and tried to resume to their conversation. The groom's hug was probably filled with love and joy but mine was the exact opposite.
He pulled away and it seemed he wanted to say something to me but then we all heard the bell chime a soft ring, making the groom scrambled back to his place on the alter.

The entire room stood up and faced the entrance of the church. The classic wedding song was being played. Flower girls and boys, the groomsmen and "bridesmaids" were walking down with smiles plastered on their faces.
Then I saw him.
His bright chocolate colored eyes, his raven black hair and his blinding smile was fitted perfectly with his red tie, black suit and bouquet of red and white roses.

Evan.

He made his way down the aisle with his stepfather. The man that told me to take care of his son no matter what. Evan was smiling at the entire room before laying his eyes on me.

The room seemed to be moving in slow motion as I layed my eyes on Evan. But in an instant, he quickly looked straight at his husband-to-be with a soft smile.

Evan's mother was looking at me. The woman that said she loved me as her own son. Evan rolled his eyes at his best man, his brother, when he stuck his tounge out at him jokingly.
My former brother in law. The brother I considered my own.

Evan's stepfather handed him to the groom with a smile; fists clenched in my pockets as I see the soon-to-be married couple holding hands for a second. As the wedding dragged on, I dreaded the announcement for the rings and the vows.

Flashback

"Okay, so, you know how I have a habit of planning ahead, right?" I laughed as I saw my boyfriend Evan lay his head on my lap, making me stop from reading my book.

"Yeah?" I responded in question with a smile, seeing Evan pull out a folded piece of paper. "Well I was thinking I should tell you my vows."
"What? Baby, we aren't getting married any time soon and isn't that like bad luck or something?"
Evan joyly jumped on the bed, now facing me, "I know but I want to tell you this because its something that shouldn't be a surprise. I want you to not forget or misunderstand what I'm telling you. And I definitely don't want you to think that I don't love you." Evan looked at me with hope and I couldn't say no.

"Okay okay, but only because you are being so damn cute." Evan gave me a toothy grin before giving me a quick kiss and he began to tell me his vows.

"Jonathan, a piece of paper wouldn't be enough to explain to you on how much I love you. You are my best friend, my pride and joy, my everything. I never met someone that can take a part of me with them yet make me feel so whole.

With this paragraph, I hope to have you understand that I love you and always will. I never want to leave you alone to fight your demons because we are now one.

I vow to be patient, understanding, and loving to you, my husband, for I know you will do the same. I vow to always be by your side, because you have never left mine. And finally I vow to never prefer someone else that isn't you, because you are the only person I see and am willing to spend the rest of my life with. I hope these vows make you understand that I love you and only you.

My best friend, my soulmate, my husband, my Tyler."

Everyone now has tears in their eyes with joy but mine were filled with anger, hatred, sadness.

He used our vows.

Luke didn't understood what happened, but he read my expression, knowing that I was hurting. He held my clenched fist as the priest announced for anyone to speak against the new couple. I gave up trying to get up after I caught Evan's gaze, looking through me.
Those eyes that I have craved to see once more were filled with an emotion I couldn't figure out.

Regret? Hopefully.

I dozed off in my thoughts once again as Evan and his new husband Tyler kissed.

I feel sick.

I quickly walked out the church and made my way to my car. I heard Luke and the others call out my name, trying to catch up to me.
I couldn't hear them. I don't want to. I couldn't handle it anymore.
I finally made it to my car, fumbling to get my keys out through glossy eyes.

"Jon?"

I froze as I heard that sweet voice. I turned around to see Evan standing a few feet away from me, then seeing Tyler catching up behind.
Evan stood with his hands intertwined with one another but when he noticed Tyler stand behind him, he instinctively grabbed his hand, making my blood boil and my teeth clench.

"Evan." I responded back, my voice and eyes cold.
I saw how he whinced at me saying his name. "I-I'm glad you came today. It means a lot to me. To us." Evan pointed at Tyler and the guys that were now behind the newly wed couple.

I couldn't help but scoff at the response. Evan then attempted to walk up to me, but only by a few steps. "We didn't had time to properly talk about this-"

"You're right, we didn't. You just decided to get up and leave without telling me a fucking thing."
My hands are now shaking, and I don't know if its because of anger or the fear of finally telling my ex fiance everything I have been feeling.

"You didn't even let me at least fight for you to stay. All you did that night was tell me you loved Tyler through a note and fucking left!" I raised my voice, making the new couple slowly back up. Tyler kept his ground, trying to protect Evan.

But I wasn't done yet, and I could care less about screaming outside of the church with both of their families now looking at the commotion.

"You made me look like a liar in front of your family, when all I did was love you, care for you, support you through 3 fucking years, Evan! And just like that, you left and decided a year later to get married! Was I just a joke to you?!"

I knew I was on the verge of crying and if I didn't leave now, I would definitely break down.
Luckily, Luke ran up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I swallowed the lump in my throat, seeing the stares of not only my ex, but of my friends and my now ex best friend, Tyler.

Could I even be mad at him?

I nodded my head at Luke and turned to face my car to unlock it, getting in and starting the engine. I gripped the steering wheel before looking at Evan one last time.

"Congratulations on getting married, Ev." And just like that, I drove off.
I don't care if I'm driving to my hotel or running away. I don't care if my friends will think of me differently. I don't care if my ex fiance's family hates my guts, and I don't care if I am still judged for keeping the engagement ring I bought for Evan in hopes of him changing his mind and runs back to me.

I don't want to be here by myself. All I ever wanted was Evan by my side forever, but it seems I couldn't even get that.