I was still wet behind the ears when I came out of the shower.

My wife shouted from the kitchen, "We're leaving in half an hour!"

"Yes, I know. I'm as good as ready. I just need a minute to get dressed."

"When was the last time you visited my mother anyway?"

"Don't you remember? It was when we took her out for dinner on her birthday."

"That was almost eight months ago."

"Nine months. And I'm not arguing the point. In fact, I like your mom. But I don't think she needs to be around too many people with this virus thing still going around. She is 93, you know."

"She's 92."

"It was in celebration of her 93rd birthday when we took her out to dinner. Your brother and sister were there. You can ask either of them."

"Well, she's old enough to have had her vaccinations already. So, you can't use that as an excuse anymore. I'll get in the car while you finish getting dressed. I can bring the flowers if you can manage not to forget the chicken casserole."

"Sure. Where is it?"

"You might want to try looking in the refrigerator for starters."

"Funny, I was going to look under the bed. When am I ever going to learn to listen to you?"

"That's what I've been asking you for the last 35 years!"

"36."

"What?"

"It's been 36 years. Trust me."

"Well, hurry up and get moving. We haven't got time to fight."

"Who's fighting? I thought this was an intellectual discussion."

Ignoring my last comment, my wife continued to rant, "I visit my mother almost once a week. You always seem to have an excuse not to go with me. And, in case you're interested, she does ask about you. As much as she makes wisecracks about your long hair, I think she misses you."

"Yeah, about that hair thing..."

"Oh, let her have a little fun. Can't you take a few loving insults from an old woman?"

"It seems as though I get them from you every day. I thought I would have been accustomed to it by now. I'm sorry. It's just that you always decide to go visit when I'm busy."

"Well, at least you're going today. And try to be pleasant. No stupid jokes. And PLEASE, don't tell anyone about your dumb stories. Believe me, NO ONE CARES!"

On that note, she left for the car with the chicken casserole. I followed close behind with the daffodils. "You forgot the flowers!"

Before she could respond, she was interrupted by the chime of her cell phone. "Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. We were just leaving."

"Well, you needn't to. I just called to ask you what time I should expect you to arrive tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes. We distinctly agreed on Sunday."

Overhearing the conversation, I chimed in, "That you did. But I was afraid to say anything."

I could hear Mom say, "I may be 93, but I'm not senile!"

Story and Cover Illustration Copyright © 2021 by Michael DeFrancesco