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9. Josh. The Dead Among Us

"It was them," Nelson repeated from his place by the railing, his back to them.

"That's not funny," Darren said, his lips tightening. 

Nelson whipped towards Darren, water drops streaking down his pale face. "You think I think this is funny? You think I like being stuck here with you guys? This is my cottage."

His hand ran through his short, cropped hair, coming out wet. "Do you know what memories this brings up for me? She was my first, man. I loved her. And she told me how you kept sniffing around her like a fucking dog in heat. She wasn't into you. But you wouldn't leave her alone."

"That's not true." Darren shook his head. "She was my first too. She was playing us both, dude."

Josh stepped in then, turning his back on Darren and the girl so that his whole focus was on Nelson instead. He'd never seen him like this.

"There's no one here but us," Josh repeated, his voice gentle as he guided Nelson away from the railing and the falling rain, his arm tucked protectively around his wet shoulder. "Let's go inside now."

As he spoke, he ushered them all back in, shutting the door against the heavy rain and strong smell of the sea and wet logs. "There's no one on the island but us. We would've spotted a boat parked at the dock of any of the cottages as we came in. And Mandie's ghost is not wandering the island in the middle of the storm. Neither is Evan's."

"How do you know?" Nelson asked in a small voice.

"Come on, Nelson." Josh gave him an exasperated look. "You're the one who keeps going on about being a Man of Science. Are you telling me you seriously believe in ghosts?"

"It's just weird that we're all back here again and now I see her face in the window. It was her. I know it was her. She was all grey and bruised and Evan had bruises on his neck."

Josh's eyes shot to the girl, as he caught the quick way she pivoted towards Darren. He glanced over, but Darren had turned his back and he couldn't see his face or what had caused that reaction in her. He saw her shiver, her shoulders shuddering before she hugged her arms around her chest and took an involuntary step towards where he stood next to Nelson. He looked down at her, trying to catch her eye so he could figure out what was making her so uneasy. Maybe this talk of ghosts was getting to everyone.

He forced his eyes away from her and back to Nelson. "Listen to me," he said, grasping Nelson's wrist to force him back from wherever he'd retreated in his mind. He didn't like the lost look on his face. "You've probably been thinking about her since we got here. I know I have. Both of them. We can't help it. Think of all the times we sat out there around the fire pit together, laughing, talking, sneaking out to go for midnight swims."

"Do you think it's true that her stepdad was abusing her?" Nelson asked suddenly, his eyes widening as he stared up with an almost childlike expression.

Josh turned at the sound of a gasp from the girl, his eyebrows drawing together as he watched her lower her hand from her mouth and look away.

"I don't know man. There were so many theories. All I can say is that he didn't strike me that way. But then again, you never really know anyone. And I'm sorry, I know you cared about her, but Mandie always struck me as kinda messed up."

"Yeah, I know," Nelson admitted. "She could be erratic sometimes."

"Even if the stepdad had nothing to do with it, she was probably going through a lot of shit at school. You could see how she might draw the wrong people to her. You know... the way she looked, the way she acted..."

"Do you think Evan's death is connected to Mandie's?" the girl asked suddenly.

When Nelson stared at her with furrowed brows, she added, "You have to admit, it seems like such a weird coincidence. Do you think they're connected?"

In the quiet of the dark cottage, the question hung in the air for a long moment before two voices rang out. "Yes," Josh answered at the same time Darren said, "No."

"Why yes," the girl asked turning to Josh.

"It's just too weird otherwise."

"What's weird about it?" Darren demanded, drawing all their eyes. He ran both hands through his dark hair. "Mandie was fucked up. I mean really fucked up. They found all those weird poems and drawings in her room. She committed suicide. End of story."

He took a step back and leaned against the sofa arm. "And as for Evan, the kid was eleven years old. He decided to go for one of those midnight swims we all liked so much and died. He was probably practicing tricks to impress us. Remember how he was trying to stand on his head and stay underwater longer than the rest of us?"

"That's bullshit," Josh said. "He wasn't like that." He let out a disgusted breath. "He had asthma. What you're saying makes no sense. Tell the truth for once."

"Alright, Sherlock, what's your fuckin' theory. Go on Einstein."

Josh breathed out in exasperation, feeling his own temper rise. He was getting so sick of Darren's shots. "You want to know what I think? I think Evan saw something connected to Mandie that he wasn't supposed to see and then he was killed for it. Like, I don't know, maybe someone kicking sand into her eyes..."

"Fuck off, asshole," Darren said raising his middle finger at him.

"Or maybe he did see her stepdad doing something..." Josh continued ignoring him.

"Maybe it was the stepdad," Nelson repeated.

"Maybe," Josh agreed, softening his voice as he forced himself to ignore Darren.

"Well, if you go by that, it could be anyone. Did we even know everyone on the island back then?" Darren asked raising his hands up at both of them. "You guys are acting like we were the only three living here."

"There's only like twenty cottages here," Nelson answered. "We knew everyone."

"We knew them by sight and name," Darren agreed. "But did we know anything about them? How do we know that one of the dads wasn't a pedo?"

Josh glanced at the girl and blinked. She looked odd, her mouth slack-jawed and her eyes unfocused. He wondered if she was exhausted by the long day and stress of being cooped up in here with them.

Her eyes focused suddenly on his face, and her mouth snapped shut, her back straightening as if she was forcefully snapping herself out of whatever state she'd fallen into. He watched the way she swayed slightly as she walked to where she'd left her thermos on the counter. She moved to the sink to rinse it out thoroughly before filling it with cold tap water.

She sipped it slowly as she came to rejoin them where he'd guided Nelson back to sit on the floor around the coffee table, only Josh noticed that instead of sitting by Darren, she removed her shoes and curled up on one end of the sofa with her bare feet tucked underneath her.

"What do you guys remember from that day that Mandie died?" Josh asked as he tugged his attention away from her movements and back to the guys.

"Can't help you there," Darren said. "I'd gone to the mainland with mom. We spent the night at my aunt's place. We came back the next morning and everyone was talking about how Mandie hadn't come home."

Josh frowned, his forehead bunching, but he said nothing, simply shaking his head instead. 

"I remember," Nelson said, lacing his fingers together. "I saw her that morning. I found her at the bluff where she liked to sunbathe. But she was in a shitty mood so I left her there."

He swallowed, avoiding eye contact with the others. "I think about that sometimes. I wonder if I'd stayed and talked to her if maybe she wouldn't have jumped. She was upset. Really upset. She said she'd had a fight with someone."

Nelson stopped speaking and looked across the table at the wall opposite them. "I wish I'd stayed instead of letting her chase me away. But she could be so abrasive and cruel." He lapsed into silence again, until Josh nudged him with his shoulder. 

"Right," he said, breathing out. "I think I spent the afternoon getting ready for the campout. I tried to find her before dinner to see if she wanted to join us but I searched the woods and I couldn't find her." He stopped. "Of course, by then she'd jumped. I just didn't know." His head fell forward again and he stared at his folded hands.

"Well..." Josh said, his tone almost aggressive, "I spent the morning helping my dad and brother build a new shed until around two. Then I wandered over and met up with you guys to get firewood." He paused and looked squarely at Darren. "And you were there, by the way. So, you can drop the bullshit story about being at an aunt's house."

"I was at my aunt's place," Darren insisted.

"Bro, he's right," Nelson interjected. "You were on the beach with us. You're confusing the timeline."

"How the fuck am I supposed to remember the events of a day so many years ago?"

"Then why say you were at your aunt's house?" Josh demanded, jutting his chin out.

"What's your problem?" Darren asked Josh. "Finally found some balls? You doing it to impress her? You think a girl like that would even give you the time of day outside of here? She's a ten. Buddy, you're barely a two, no offense. Just let's keep it real."

Josh's face fell and he looked away, not wanting to see her reaction to the words.

"You know what... maybe it's time for this fantastic day of fun to end. You look like you're about to pass out," Darren said glancing over at the girl. "And little Joshy boy looks like he needs a bed to curl up in and cry. So why don't we all try to get some sleep."

"There's only three bedrooms," Nelson said flatly.

Josh turned towards the girl, avoiding Darren's face. He felt suddenly worn out, with a kind of depressed sluggishness. Darren was right about one thing – he needed to be alone for a while. "I'll sleep on the couch. You take one of the rooms."

The girl shook her head. "It's too small for you. You guys take the rooms, I'll stay out here."

"You sure," he asked as he stifled a yawn. He lifted his arms to the side, stretching his back. He saw the girl stiffen, and blinked in confusion as he watched her eyes narrow and shoot a look at Darren. Josh raised his hand to his temple. "I don't think I can sleep, but I'll go lie down because my head just feels weird all of a sudden."

The three stood up and Josh waited as the other guys walked down the hall. He heard two doors closing and turned towards the girl. "Shout if you need me. You know, in case someone's bothering you. I'm a light sleeper."

He saw her nod her head. "I'll be fine," she told him. "I'm not going to fall asleep either."

Josh walked slowly away from her towards the dark hall and its row of closed doors. He had a bad feeling about this, but with no locks on the bedroom doors, did it matter where she chose to sleep? No, he would have to be vigilant tonight. He'd caught those furtive glances between Darren and Nelson and the odd atmosphere that had surrounded them like fog all evening.

As he reached the hall and took one last look behind him, he saw her nursing her thermos as she took small sips of the cold water. She said she wouldn't be falling asleep, but even as he watched, he saw the heaviness of her head and the way it kept rolling forward. He wasn't a fortune teller, but if he had to bet, he'd say she'd be asleep in no time. 

[15,911 words in total]

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