I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the last few months.  All the memories kept coming back to me.  I threw my purse haphazardly on the kitchen table, not even having the strength to put it back.  I just wanted to sleep.  It had been a long and tiring day.  I headed straight to the bathroom, where I could take a shower without rushing.  I missed Zee, but today he had to go somewhere.  I didn't ask where he was going, I figured he'd tell me himself if he wanted to.  Sometimes when you're in a relationship with another person, it's good to let that person have their own space.

Once I had undressed and the warm water ran in small trickles down my body, I remembered how I met Singto Prachaya and Ohm Pawat.  It was quite recently, maybe two months ago, back when First was undergoing chemotherapy and we were recording our series, and we spent our free time at First's house.  I've always had great respect for Singto, as well as for Ohm, but what I saw allowed me to form my own opinion about them.

When something ends, something that was really important to us, there is an emptiness in the heart, as if something important is suddenly missing.  As we watched another series with First and Annie, I realized how important each new day is.  This time Annie insisted that we watch one of her favorite series, He's Coming To Me.  Imagine our surprise when in the evening, just before we started watching the first episode, someone knocked on Khaotung's house.  This time Khao wasn't home because he had to shoot some scenes, so Annie and I offered to spend the two days with First taking care of him.  In fact, day by day First was slowly recovering and we didn't worry about him as much anymore.  Now both he and Khao were smiling more, it was obvious that things were moving towards a successful conclusion.

I went to the door to see who it was and possibly let that person in.  I was in a huge shock when I saw Ohm Pawat and Singto Prachay in front of me.  For a moment it seemed to me that this was only happening in my head, because how could the heroes of the series we were currently watching suddenly appear on our doorstep?!  The mystery cleared up pretty quickly.

— Hi, you're NuNew Chawarin, right?.— Singto asked me, greeting.  I smiled at him.

— Yes, it's me.

Ohm seemed to be about to introduce himself, but I cut him off.

—  You don't have to say your names, I know you perfectly well, unfortunately only from the screen, but right now we are watching a series where you are the main couple.

— Oh, He's Coming To Me? — Ohm tried to guess.

— Yes, P'Ohm, how did you know?

— First invited us here, he said that two of our fans are here today.  We were curious, so we decided to drop in for a surprise visit —  Ohm explained.  Next to him, I felt really tiny, although I was not a short person, it was Ohm who was rather a giant.  Knowing who was knocking on the door at this odd time, I could breathe a sigh of relief.  I led our guests to the bedroom, where we spread out our things.  I noticed that both had duffel bags with them, probably filled with clothes and cosmetics.  It looked like they were going to stay a bit longer.

Ohm and Singto greeted Annie and First.

— I've prepared a separate room for you — First informed them, pointing in front of him.

— Did you prepare? You yourself? — Ohm raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

—Okay, Tung did it before he went to the set — He replied, scowling as if it offended him. This was the first time when I heard First calling Khaotung „Tung“, what sounded like „tang“, it was cute to hear. First smiled at Ohm and Singto.  It was obvious that all three of them are very close, I felt a bit like an outsider.  Yes, I've known First for some time, but I've never met Ohm and Singto in person, it was a great experience for me.  I admired them both, but especially Ohm.  More than once he had to face hate, lack of understanding from people around him.  I felt a little sorry for him, and at the same time I understood that for him, as for me, acting in series, playing a different character, was a way of expressing himself.  When Annie gave Ohm her hand, it was so tiny I thought Ohm could easily break it.  Singto, on the other hand, was only a little taller than me, and when he stood next to Annie, I got the impression that they looked alike for some reason.  I couldn't take my eyes off them for a long time, especially since Singto sat next to her on the mattress on the floor, and Ohm climbed into the bed next to First without asking.  I returned to my place on the smaller mattress on the other side of the bed, but continued to watch our visitors.  Eventually, however, it dawned on me that I only found two similarities between Annie and Singto.  One of them was a nearly identical scar over both of their left eyes.  The second similarity was their behavior.  They talked with each other completely freely, there was no distance between them as between me and Singto.

— You're watching us —  Singto stated, apparently sensing my intense gaze.

— Hey, New, just don't fall in love with him, he already has someone — Ohm advised me, smiling cheekily.  It was great fun for him to tease someone.

*  *  *

Not even ten minutes had passed before Ohm was already tickling First as if it was the most normal thing in the world for the two of them.  I wouldn't have the courage to do something like that. I'd be probably scared that I may hurt First.

— You attack the sick.  I'll get my revenge! — First threatened Ohm, trying to hide under the duvet dressed in a colorful pillowcase with the likeness of Lewis Hamilton and his car from probably 2020.

— Of course.  Come on.  I'm waiting. — Ohm stuck his tongue out at him.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Singto shake his head, then grab a dark purple pillow with the "44" printed on it in bright yellow on the edge of the bed and hit Ohm with it.

— And you, Sinto, against me? — Ohm shouted, turning around so abruptly that he fell off the bed, which made us burst out laughing.  — And I had you as a friend!!!  You will pay me for this.  All of yoi.  You too, Annie, because you're laughing.

—  You want that? —  Annie grabbed a black blanket with gold and white smaller and larger stars and threw it over Ohm's head.

The plan to watch the series quietly fell into oblivion.  I was just glad we hadn't had time to lay out the snacks that were still waiting in the kitchen to be brought here.  When Singto tried to snatch the pillow from Ohm's hands, Ohm made such a scary face that it sent shivers down my spine.  Yes, Pawat could be terrifying.  So much so that I thought he'd make a good bodyguard.  I mentioned it out loud, which was quickly answered by Singto.

— Him as a bodyguard?  No way.  Maybe he is big.  He may make threatening faces, but that's all, this giant wouldn't hurt a fly!

— Asshole! —  Ohm screamed in his ear, slapping him on the back of the head with his open palm, which perfectly contradicted Singto's words.  —You make me look like a wimp.

— It might not hurt a fly, but it might hurt people. — I risked honesty, remembering how he started tickling First, even though he knew he was still in therapy and very weak.  It didn't bode well.

— Don't judge anyone so superficially — Annie asked me, picking up the sheets scattered around the room and herding us to one place, namely the bed, so that we wouldn't disturb her.  — I think Singto is right.  As for Ohm's behavior... I think that's his love language.  He picks on people who are important to him, friends, family, and I bet he picks on his boyfriend the same way.

— How do you know I have a boyfriend?  Or maybe I have a girlfriend?  — Ohm bit back, taking one pillow from her and placing it next to First for himself.  It was clear to us that Ohm intended to sleep very comfortably on the bed with his friend.
There was no difference between the words in Thai, but Annie said it in English, clearly emphasizing the word "boyfriend" as if she was somewhat teasing Ohm.  He just gave her a cool look, shrugged, and settled back, resting his head on First's shoulder.

— Wait until Khaotung sees what you're doing with his boyfriend — Singto grimaced as he took his phone out of his navy sweatpants pocket to take a photo.  I managed to notice that he sent the photo to Khaotung on Instagram with a short caption: "You have permission from First to do the same with Nanon."  I hadn't heard First say anything like that, but apparently it was something that was unique to their group.

— I think Nanon is his boyfriend — I told Annie, and she smiled triumphantly.

—  I knew.

— Okay, finish it now.  Are we watching or not? — Ohm wouldn't let us question him any longer.

— Sure, I'll just get our snacks from the kitchen —  Annie said calmly and left.  Ohm followed her and First was flipping through something on his phone, so this was the perfect time to ask Singto something that had been bothering me for a long time.  I approached him as close as I could and asked if we could talk for a while.  He agreed and led me out of the room.  He seemed to understand what I wanted to ask him, so I didn't hesitate.

— Singto, I have a question for you.  For some time I have been exchanging e-mails with a person who has the word "singer" in his nickname.  I know it might just be a coincidence, but I have a feeling it's not a coincidence.  Tell me if... Is that you?

— So you guessed it.  Yes, it's me.  I guess my cover isn't very good since you figured me out so easily.

*.  *.  *

— Actually, I have a question for both of you. — Annie paused the show as the commercials rolled between episodes one and two.

— Alright, ask what you want. We will answer as much as possible. — Singto smiled kindly at her.

— I mean, you two are practically the beginning of BL series, you kind of started it, Singto in Sotus a Ohm in "Make It Right".  It must have been difficult for you, right?

— It wasn't that bad.  I wanted to try something different, I didn't know I'd like it that much.  — Singto replied.

— And you Ohm? You were very young.  How old were you then?  16?  Is it allowed at this age?

— In our country, yes.  I don't know how it is elsewhere, but it's basically normal here. — This time I cut her in.  — You see, Annie, I started when I was 21, which is quite a lot for a BL actor.  Look at GMM's Gemini and Fourth, they weren't even 18 when they filmed their first series.  I actually feel old with them.

-— Why?  I'm older. — First shrugged, and Singto joined him immediately.

— I'm even older, and I'm not complaining.  Oh, we're old grandparents, you, NuNew, are basically young.  Probably the youngest of us.  Which year are you?

— 2001.

— Oh, wow.  You're even younger than me. — Ohm patted my back.

— Impossible.

— Very much possible because I'm from 2000.

— Wait until Off, Gun and Zee arrive, they're just old men — Annie joked.  I shook my head in amusement.  It seems that even though I was the youngest in the room, I also had the oldest partner.  Nice!  Et, at least he's experienced, which is also a plus.

We couldn't finish watching the show that night.  I myself fell asleep somewhere in the middle of episode 5, watching First lying with his head on Ohm's stomach.  Regardless of what was said about his tendency to be quite brutal, Ohm was actually quite soft-hearted.  He was such a good-natured big guy.  And he was a great friend.  Even though my first impression was unfavourable, it didn't take long for me to like him.  After all, he was only human.  Singto was so slim and tiny that he fit on the mattress next to Annie, who fell asleep hugging her pillow.  It was probably Singto who fell asleep last.

* * *

It was the memory of that evening that haunted me the most lately, as if there was some important clue hidden there that I couldn't decipher.

I got out of the shower and walked slowly to the bedroom.  I missed Zee, I missed the fact that I usually walked in here and he was already waiting for me, spreading his arms wide for me to cuddle up to him.  I always felt safe and comfortable with him.  He was my safe haven and I felt pretty insecure without him.

My phone lit up, revealing a notification on the screen that someone had tagged me in a post.  I unlocked the display and checked Instagram.  I saw that First and Khao had just uploaded the first set of photos from their wedding.  It was a beautiful ceremony on the beach, which then moved to a nearby hotel.  It reminded me a bit of a scene from the Cutie Pie 2 You specials.

Everyone was smiling in the photos.  I was standing next to Ohm Pawat who had his arm around Nanon who was trying to push him away.  Their banter among themselves was really cute.  Zee positioned himself behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders.  Khao and First stood in the middle, and Annie and Gun crouched in front of them.  In the next photo, we lined up according to height.  The shortest of us had to sit on the chairs in the front row, the slightly taller ones stood behind them, and the tallest ones in the back.  This made three rows, and most of the pairs were separated.  Annie, Gun, Nat, me and Khao had to sit on the chairs.  I will never forget that day and it makes me really want to marry Zee someday, but not now, it's a matter of the future.  For now, I want to focus on my studies and work.