— Annie, could you come over to me?! —  I shouted, waving my hand and summoning her to the table where my manager was adding new batches of posters every now and then with my picture in front of our AlphaTauri car parked on the Monza track, over which the planes flew, sending trails of smoke behind them that together formed a  colors of the flag of Italy.  Signing autographs was probably one of the easiest parts of my job, although not always as pleasant as you might think.

— Oh hi Pierre, nice to see you again.  Something happened? — She smiled gently at me.  That smile, that look, all as unsettlingly familiar as coming home, as if she were someone I had known long ago and lost, and yet I had only known her for a very short time.  And outside of Bangkok, it's only our first meeting, we've never even talked before, ba!  I wasn't even aware she existed!  And once she came into my life, she turned it upside down.  And it's not because I fell in love with her or anything.  No.  In fact, my heart was already occupied by someone else, someone who was sitting not more than a meter away from me and was also signing his share of posters.

— Annie, come to my room in half an hour, okay?— I'm about to finish signing these posters — I said as she came closer.  Perth gave me a scowl, forcing me to raise an eyebrow.  He shrugged, though I was sure he didn't like my proposal for some reason.  — And take Perth with you.

—  What?  Perth?  What for?

— You'll find out later — I replied.  I had my reasons for it.  Among the information we were able to gather about Annie was that she liked one of the Thai actors, specifically Perth Nakhun looking at me from under the bull.  I gave him a triumphant smile only to annoy him even more.  Jealous people can be really funny!  I knew from the start that Perth and Annie had a thing for each other, but I wasn't going to help them, whatever happens between them is their business.  I didn't like being forced to do anything and I didn't want to do it to anyone else.  Why would anyone else go through what I did?

Annie, meanwhile, had approached Perth, and with just a few words her face returned to a serene, almost happy expression.  I almost forgot he's a great actor.  I sighed and started putting my name on more posters.

What I had to say to Annie, I was free to say in Perth's company, and perhaps it was better that he should come to me with her, so that I would have a witness.  Except for my personal manager, of course.

I couldn't wait to share with Annie what I had been planning for so long.

— That is all? — I asked hopefully, looking pleadingly at Miranda.

— Yes, that's all for now.

— Does that mean we can go see Annie now?

— Sure, let's go.  Yuki, when you're done, go to your room, get your things and go out to the parking lot, someone should be waiting for you there, they'll take you to the track. —  Miranda addressed my "teammate". He winked at me, smirking slyly.

— Yuki!  — I slapped his hand feeling slightly embarrassed.  We were sitting in the open space in the hotel lobby, where apart from us with their things to sign, such as miniature helmets, the RedBull team was also spread out.

— Guys, don't flirt with each other now, you'll have time later after the race — Miranda admonished us.  Of course she knew about us, but she was one of the few people who accepted it without question.  Miranda wasn't one of those skinny, almost bony beauties that usually showed up in the paddock, she was more ordinary, almost common, she didn't even like makeup, but she didn't need it either.  If you met her in a crowd of people, you wouldn't notice her presence, from a distance she seemed gray or colorless, devoid of fantasy and austere, but when you got to know her closer, it turned out that those about 80 kilos with a height of 160 cm hid a really good heart,  crazy imagination and the soul of an artist.  Miranda was very creative, resourceful and able to deal with any situation, there was no problem she couldn't solve, which is why she was quickly promoted to the role of my general manager.

Before we entered the room, I managed to stop for a moment at the coffee machine and fill the mug I had brought with me.  A day without coffee seemed like a day wasted for me, so I always made sure to drink at least one.

Annie appeared moments after we closed the door behind us.  As I wished, Perth accompanied her.  I had to talk to him too, but in private.

— Here we are — Annie informed unnecessarily, just to break the silence and somehow start a conversation.  I gestured to the chairs next to the table, and they took their seats, moving away from each other to a safe distance.  How they reminded me of me and Yuki at the beginning of our relationship!  I shook my head, sighing in amusement.  When Yuki started hitting on me, at first I thought it was just a joke, that he was fooling around, so I let him do almost anything, but when I realized he was really flirting with me, I tried to distance myself from him.  Of course, I failed, but I was even grateful for it, Yuki was the best thing that could have happened to me in my life.

Thinking about it, I wanted to run out of the room immediately, run to him and grab him in my arms, and then hold him to me until the end of the world.

Miranda nudged me on the shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts.

— Don't look so buttery when we're about to talk about work. — She scolded me, then took a white file folder from the black and purple bag she carried everywhere with her.  She set the briefcase in front of her and turned to Annie.  — You're probably wondering what this meeting is for?

—  Yes — Confirmed the young Polish woman.  She looked stressed.  She was rubbing her fingers together as if she was cold.

—  We had long discussions about this in our team and together we decided that you will be our director who will lead our project, that is, you will oversee the work on our series based on your story.

— WHAT?!  — Perth and Annie exclaimed simultaneously.  Ah, how glad I was to witness their reaction!  She was hilarious!  But Perth didn't seem to trust us.

— Are you serious? — Annie asked in a trembling voice.  Her hands were shaking incredibly.  Maybe it was too much excitement for one day?  But I thought it would somehow survive, that it would manage.

—  Most seriously.

— But Darcy is in charge of everything — She protested, but before we could say anything, Perth cut in.

— What's the catch in all this?

— Ehem. — I cleared my throat and set my now empty coffee mug on the desk next to me.  — Miranda?

— Of course, I already say. — We were not going to hide the fact that we had an additional motive to do what we just did.  We needed someone we could trust on the set of our show, someone who would give us honest and truthful reports, someone who wouldn't hide anything from us.  From our little investigation, Annie was the right person for the job.  — The point is... well... we know we have a spy on our team and we know who he is, so officially you'll only remain our advisor. Only the people we select will know about your true role, their names will be in this folder.  Here we also have a contract for you to sign.

— I... oh... I... — Annie tried to say something, but emotion took over her voice.  Perth immediately moved closer and positioned himself as if to hug her, then suddenly changed his mind and stepped back.  Polish woman hid her face in her hands.  I walked over to her, leaned in and hugged her, and then something strange happened.

My heart was gripped by some mysterious grief and sadness that I couldn't explain, but it reminded me a lot of the one I felt after the death of my best friend Anthoine, who died in a Formula 2 accident. There was also a sense of dejavu, as if it had already happened.  once happened, as if I had been in a room like this before, hugging someone...

And then I saw it.

Flashback.

Extremely clear, I was almost sure I could even describe the heavy scent of flowers wafting around us.

I walked down the street filled with stalls and stalls with everything that could be sold: there were fruits, vegetables, cut and potted flowers, fish and other seafood.  We were surrounded by the buzz of conversations.  Between our legs from time to time ran a small, black, hairy mongrel, probably belonging to one of us.  I was walking ahead in the company of a boy shorter than me with exceptionally Thai facial features.

— P'Squirrel, get me something to eat, I'm hungry! — The boy over there called to me and hung on to my arm, pulling it down and burying his face into my shirt.  He was looking at me with pleading eyes that I couldn't refuse, and yet I wanted to tease him a little.

— Oh, what am I hearing!" Have you already lost all the pocket money your mother gave you?

The boy made a grimace and stepped away from me.

— P'Squirrel, you're unkind. You're going to let your little brother starve to death?

— Your sweet little puppy eyes might work on Mek, but they won't work on me. — I replied and saw him suddenly freeze, staring at me with his eyes and mouth wide open.  His ears immediately turned red, and a moment later his cheeks turned a deep pink as well.  — Come on?  You weren't going to tell me about him, were you?

The boy next to me, wearing a school uniform, is getting more and more terrified.  He drops the notes he got from someone earlier and hasn't packed into his backpack yet.  The cards land on the cobblestone pavement, and he pays no attention to it.

— P'Song... — He just says.  Something told me he rarely called me that name, he usually called me squirrel.

— Don't worry, nong Sorn, it's okay, I know you love him.  I'm just asking you to be careful, you know how people are, I don't want them to gossip about you, to hurt you.

— P'Song... —  She whispered very quietly, and I knew that we had more in common than just work, than just the fact that she was a fan of mine.  I turn away from her to hide the tears that escape from my eyelids as well.  I've never felt so vulnerable, so... naked!  As if she saw right through me, as if she knew everything.  I didn't answer a word.  For that brief moment when I was drowned in memories that weren't even mine, I forgot everyone was in this room.

Miranda saves the day by getting back to discussing the details of her partnership with Annie, but I'm no longer interested.  I go to the window and look outside.

In front of the hotel, at a distance of about 30 meters, two buses were set up, which in less than an hour were to take us to the Monza track, one of my favorites.  It was here that I won my first and so far only victory.  I beat everyone in a rather weak car, which was the AlphaTauri car at the time.  I was very lucky then: my mechanics called me to the pit stop at the perfect time, my most dangerous rival and at the same time the best driver in the field, Lewis Hamilton, was penalized for entering the pit lane, in Ferrari both cars were out of the competition, and Max Verstappen in RedBull  he was so far in the pack that he couldn't catch up with me.  I could feel the breath of Carlos Sainz chasing me in the orange McLaren and Lance Stroll in his pink Racing Point team car, but despite the pain and fatigue I did not give up until the very end.

There were two things I regretted that day: that we didn't have fans to celebrate with me and I missed Anthoine.  If he were alive, he would probably be the first person I would share my happiness with.  Maybe even standing next to me on the podium...

No...

I won't think about it now.

Fuck it all, I want to be happy.  And I don't want to have to prove to everyone that I'm worth something because I know I am.  I can race, I'm a professional, I already have a lot of experience and if only my team wanted to work with me, maybe I could even win, but I felt very unwanted in AlphaTauri.  It clearly bothered them that Yuki was my boyfriend.  I knew they were deliberately sabotaging my races, that I didn't have a good enough car to fight for wins or podiums, in fact even competing for points was almost out of the question as something was constantly failing: and it was my car that stopped  cause in flames (twice in one season), and this suspension didn't hold up, and that I had a slow pit stop or lacked engine power to overtake anyone...

I felt bad.

But it was going to be different here.  Franz, our boss, promised that he would personally see to it that my car was fit to fight for the highest goals.  I didn't believe him, and as it turned out a few hours later, I was right.  Again, I couldn't score even one point!

As part of recharging the batteries for the upcoming hardships (for me more training and racing, for Annie and the others before the not easy, demanding work on the series) we went for a walk around the neighborhood, buying alcohol on the way.  In addition to me and Yuki, Annie, Perth, Saint, Lando and even Louis Tomlinson were with us.  Lando and Saint clung to each other as if they had known each other for years instead of just two days.  I watched them, and I knew all too well the longing look Saint gave Lando.  McLaren's PR people would be furious if they saw them now, and I was pretty sure they'd handcuff Lando and forcibly take him to the hotel, locking his room and not letting him out until he sobered up.  Norris had a weak head, he was easily drunk.

I shrugged.

It's none of my business.

I looked away from them and leaned in to steal a short kiss from Yuki's lips.  Yuki put his hand on my chest as if he wanted to push me away, but he changed his mind.

— Let's dance — He begged.

I couldn't refuse him.  Sometimes I pretended to linger, that I didn't feel like doing something, but in fact I loved every minute and second I spent with him, and the ones I enjoyed most were feeling his touch, the warmth of his body, the smell of his favorite cologne, when I knew  that he is close to me, that he wants to be next to me as much as I wanted to be next to him.  It was enough for me to be happy.