"In all my years, I've never met anyone as stupid as you. I just wanted you to know that."

Pausing the rim of my glass against my lips, I very nearly snorted my liquor all over the bar-top. 
"Aw, do you mean it, man? Shucks. Now I feel more confident in continuing my quest to be the King of the Idiots." Downing my drink, the burn trailing down my throat to settle in my guts, I stood up, slapping down some cash. 

"I've hardly known you a month and I already know your days are numbered, boy." The barkeep sighed, tossing his dish rag over his shoulder. "Now, I ain't one to care about the activity of petty little criminals like yer'self, but big time pirates? Yer madder than a cut snake, lad." 

Patting myself down to make sure I had everything I needed, I slung my backpack on and beamed, shifting my mask to sit back over my mouth and nose. 
"Ah, but you see, my good man, pirates have the best loot! Gold, artifacts, everything that could have me set for life! Well worth the risk, if you ask me. Besides…I'm a professional." 

Tipping my hat, I ignored the unimpressed look on the man's face and left, nodding to several of the sketchy looking regulars I had grown fond of over the past few weeks. 

I never stayed any place long. It wasn't possible when one such as myself had a bounty on their head. Twenty-five thousand berries. Not phenomenal, but it wasn't bad for a lone wolf. 

It had become apparent during my childhood that I was talented when it came to sneaking about. My brother's toys? Easily swiped and distributed to the neighbourhood kids whenever he picked on me. The local shipwright's tools? I'd had a nice stash of them under my bed until my parents had caught on. Food? I rarely paid for a morsel since I could walk. 

More than anything, it was a game to me. Nothing screamed fun more than seeing what I was capable of stealing. Nowadays, I never stole from people who would truly suffer if I did. That wasn't very enjoyable for me. Now, Marines on the other hand? Pirates and the elite? Prime pickins. 

That was exactly why I was headed to the eastern port. Earlier that day I had spotted some familiar faces from my collection of wanted posters, so I knew for a fact that there was a big-shot ship docked and ready to be swept clean. 

From the information I had gathered, both actively and just by hearing about it around the streets, they were considered rookies, though their bounties sang promises of a decent haul. The Kid Pirates were known for pillaging, after all. 

Their captain, Eustass 'Captain' Kid, was notorious for being a nasty piece of work, to put it as lightly as possible. Violent and merciless, the newspapers had warned, and his crew were no better. 

No measly article was going to phase me, though. I'd stolen from tougher pirates than him in the past and lived to tell the tales. My favourite to think back on was the time I had just casually walked away with an entire bag full of food and cash when the late Portgas D Ace had fallen asleep mid meal. 

Reaching the port, I couldn't miss the Victoria Punk in all its questionable glory. It was overkill, and pretty tacky, if I had to describe it. The dinosaur skull figurehead, if it could even be called that, was laughable. At least that was my personal opinion. 

It wasn't quite late enough to try anything, so I found myself a nice little spot behind some crates to go over my plan for the umpteenth time. Most of my crimes were committed in the spur of the moment, but I liked to be prepared when it came to people who had a higher chance of taking my life. 

"Okie dokie, let's see who we're dealing with tonight…" I spoke to myself, pulling out a wad of papers from my bag and spreading them out over the ground. 

There was Eustass 'Captain' Kid, of course. My main concern and one to be avoided at all costs, if possible. A bounty of 530,000,000 berries, which was the whole reason I was about to rob him blind. It had recently gone up, but that wasn't all that surprising, seeing as the World Government seemed to really be targeting those they had dubbed 'The Worst Generation'. 

Next up, and almost as high as Kid on my list of people to avoid, was 'Massacre Soldier' Killer. The name was pretty self explanatory, and I didn't quite like the idea of those spinning blades of his coming anywhere near me. I had heard that he was fast, and relentless, on top of being incredibly strong, so I hoped he was a heavy sleeper. 

The only other two crew members that I had managed to identify were named Heat and Wire. The former looked like something straight out of a child's nightmare, and the latter looked like he could poke an eye out not only with his trident, but with his odd headdress as well. 

Meh. Easy. In and out, they won't even know what hit them until the morning! 

There were plenty of other pirates on board the Victoria Punk, but none of them had such prominent bounties, so there wasn't much point in wasting my time on researching them. 

As the hours passed, I bided my time by chewing coffee beans and doodling on their posters, keeping a close eye for any movement on the ship. When I ran out of room, I checked my pocket watch and nodded to myself. 

Three in the morning. Let's do this shit. 

Now, sneaking onto a ship wasn't as easy as breaking into a building. Picking locks was child's play. Scaling the side of a massive boat without making a noise? A little less so. 

Well, it usually was, when the idiots on board actually remembered to pull up their docking ramps. 

Pffff, they're making this way too easy. 

Testing with my first step to make sure the board didn't creak, I started on up, pausing only to slip my bandanna down from under my hat to hide the top section of my face. 

It wasn't the best attire, but it had done its intended job of keeping my identity a secret. Originally, I had only worn the bandanna, with poorly cut eye holes, and another without to cover my mouth and nose. 

The hat, though, that was one of my favourite belongings. I had happened upon it completely by chance, when totally not risking life and limb to rob the renound Dracule Mihawk. Looking back, it was quite obvious that he had been completely aware of my presence the entire time, but he either pitied me, or just didn't care. Still, I would never part with it, and not just because of the bragging rights. 

Once I was on board the Victoria Punk, I peered around, listening for any signs of life. Overhead, I could hear the abhorrent snores of their lookout, obviously fast asleep in the crows nest. 

Wow, they really are a bunch of rookies, or just plain cocky. Still, I don't want to be here too long...

Now came the tricky part. I had to find something worth stealing. There was no blueprint to work with, so it would be a matter of hunting the goods down. I knew the captain's quarters would probably have the best stuff, but even I wasn't suicidal enough to try my luck with Kid being that close. 

The kitchen was a bust. Shockingly clean for a pirate ship, but nothing interesting. I didn't want to venture any lower into the hull, so I returned to the deck and decided to try the room in the centre of the second floor. 

It kind of looked like some kind of study, or navigation room. There were maps and books everywhere, and a desk in the middle. Making myself at home, I wandered over and plonked myself down in the chair, kicking my feet up and pulling one of my pistols from my holsters, placing it directly in front of me before starting to look through the spread out papers. 

News articles, wanted posters, travel logs. None of it was particularly interesting or worth anything, which began to bum me out. There were plenty of decorations around, but they were all so…gothic. Not that I didn't appreciate the style, but none of it would put food on my table. Next, I tried the drawers. More papers, more scrawlings, but one of them was locked. 

Bingo. 

Locked meant important, and important often meant berry signs, so I put my skills to work. It had taken me a while to graduate to legitimate lock picks, like I used now, having started with screwdrivers or women's hair pins. 

When I heard that deliciously satisfying click, I shoved my picks back into my bag and pulled the drawer open. Inside was a leather-bound notebook and a burlap coin bag, swollen and ripe for the taking. 
"Hello, my sweet golden friends." I chuckled, throwing it into my bag and picking up the book. "Now, what's so important about you, hmm?" 

There was nothing on the cover to give it away, but when I opened it up, a discoloured fold of paper fell out directly into my lap. Switching the book for it, I unfurled it, eyes scanning the aged lines and coordinates carefully. 

Treasure map. 

"How cliché, but somebody'll be in the market for this." I hummed, opting to tuck it into the inner pocket of my coat for safe keeping. At least the heist hadn't been a total bust. On the coins alone I could be pretty comfortable for a few weeks, maybe a month or two. There was definitely more to steal, if I was willing to take more of a risk, but I had the urge to get out of there.

Just as I was about to call it a night, something seized me by the back of my collar, and I scrambled wildly to grab for my pistol on the desk, only for a curved blade to slam down, point right in the curve of the trigger, sweeping it right off the table and out of reach. 

My body began to turn against my will, and suddenly I came face to surface with blue and white. A pair of colours I knew meant imminent death, or worse. 

"Oh, Killer..! What a pleasant surprise..! Fancy running into you here..?" 

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
***This is just for shits and gigs (translation: for fun) 

Kid and Killer stole my entire soul the moment they were reintroduced in Wano. I'm actually mad at myself for kind of shrugging their existence off back in Sabaody. I had the hots for Killer back then though. Funky little polka dot rapunzel boi. 

Anyway, very little plot ideas for this, and no idea if I'll finish it, but I want to write about characters I'm passionate about so I don't burn out any more than I already have. 

This story will have graphic violence, strong language (a lot of it), smut, edgy emo goth boi vibes etc. 

Next Time: Silver Tongue***