Hey everyone,

Emotional Chapter. A lot of thoughts are running around in Christina's head. I try to keep them in tune with her personality and her fear.

Let's see if she'll take the risk.

This book is ending soon and I feel so gloomy. I love writing this book, I love the love between the leads but this'll soon be over. The first half of their story.

Read on.

Love,
Mama Perv😴

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CHAPTER 38- THE OTHER ONE?

Soft shaking awakens me from my slumber. I peer through my lashes to see Tanya above me.

She has a yellow towel wrapped around her which she holds up with her left hand.

"Wake up sleepy head, it's time to get ready," she smiles.

I stir and sit up on the bed, I look around to see that the sun's down and the moon has risen.

"What time is it?" I ask as a yawn escapes me.

"Seven thirty," she says as she fixes the towel and sits around her vanity mirror. "The boys came around at six thirty. They took their things and left saying we should meet them there."

"Oh, OK," I say groggily as I slip off the bed.

"Yeah, it was so cute to see Johnattan babying you."

"Babying me?" I ask with a furrow of my brows.

"Didn't you feel it? He kissed your cheek and was like" rest Christi you'll need it tonight"," she giggles. "He's hinting about something and I'm sure it's not the party."

I chuckle and stretch my muscles. "Maybe."

She smirks. "Okay, so grab your outfit and run to the bathroom. It's the third door on the left. You need to get ready, I'll do your make up."

I nod as I lazily walk over to the outfit on a rack.

"Hurry!" She scolds.

I grab the outfit and run towards the door. "No need to scold me now I know how the boys feel."

"You haven't seen anything yet, get going before I turn Buffy the white girl slayer on your ass if you make me late for this party."

I chuckle and slip out the door towards the bathroom.

**

"Hold still!" Tanya scolds as she applies makeup to my face.

She is doing a Smokey eye look with the colours black, red and white. She has added cherry red lipstick to my lips, white mascara to my lashes which looks a bit odd to me and she uses silver glittery eye-shadow at the edge of my eyes to make it look enchanting.

My hair shower down my shoulders with its straightness, my bangs have grown out enough to be combed back with the rest of my hair.

"There I'm done," says Tanya as she backs away from me.

Her make-up consists of the colours red and different shades of green. She copies the Smokey eye look with the glittery eye-shadow, her lips have a dark– almost black– green which compliments her skin tone. Her hair falls showering in luscious curls and with a few green add ins. She can pass as a forest fairy with the look she has going on.

"You look hot," she gushes. "Thanks to my handy work."

I roll my eyes. "Sure. That's why..."

She chuckles at me with a motherly smile.

I stand from the vanity and walk over to my red gladiator slippers and zip them up.

The outfit I am in is a strapless red bikini top with black and white claw marks decorating the top. It has a mesh curving fabric attaching it to the bottom which is a shorts. It is also red and at the sides are adorned with claw marks as well. I complement it with red gladiator slippers which Tanya loaned me seeing we wear the same size.

This outfit isn't complex but the simplicity of it makes it look beautiful.

Tanya's outfit is more extravagant.

The straps of her top is decorated with red and various shades of green coloured feathers. The bust is decorated with alternate rows of the different colour feathers. Her bottom is a shorts as well, it's green and the waist is decorated with feathers also. Additionally, there is a multi-coloured belt around her hip that's supposed to house her peacock tail.

She pairs that with ankle high heel less boots, the top has feathers whereas at the ankles there are colourful beads.

As I said extravagant.

"Okay, let's go grab your headwear and let's go."

We slip out after saying goodbye to the boys and Tanya prepping the nanny. The boys hug their mommy heartily before kissing her bye and waving bye at me.

The nanny takes them inside and we enter the Mountain jeep and make our way to the party.

****

Upon entering the party we are thrown into a fashion show.

Tanya makes an unforgettable impression with her feathered mask and colourful and crafty peacock tail. The crowd loves her costume and I can tell she is going to win again this year.

Another TanRhode design taking the win.

My costume is loved by the crowd as well.

The headwear I have covers my head; it has a heart like frame that extends to my forehead with a white gem. It's red and on top of it large red, white and black feathers sprout out, they are joined by strings with gems and let me tell you it is heavy.

It's hard to balance with it but I manage to work it.

Tanya and I dance as Soca Junkie plays as the intro song. All the contestants are on the colourfully decorated stage awaiting the announcement of the winner. Like they have to guess who it will be.

It is no surprise when Tanya is announced the winner, the crowd of mix races cheer and I watch as Alexander cheers and whoops from the bar. Loudly.

He is yelling things like, "that's my Queen!", and "bring home the money baby!".

What a supportive husband.

He is outfitted in a shorts with the same colour scheme as Tanya's costume and a feathered necklace hangs around his neck.

Beside him is the charming as ever, Johnattan.

He wears the red and black shorts with the claw mark and a necklace with fake pointy teeth on it. It gives him a wild yet alluring look and I am loving it.

He notices my admiring eyes and smiles as he cheers with Al.

He isn't one to show his approval or congratulate you in a loud and boisterous way so it has me thinking...

Is it for me or Tanya?

I'm unsure.

**

Minutes after that we are at the bar with the boys, dancing, drinking and having a blast. We ditch the extra parts of the costume in the jeep and now my head feels light. My hair however looks like the Tasmanian devil's.

The night so far is full of dancing. Tanya didn't even allow me to rest a minute, between she and Johnattan they are the reason I look so wild and crazy.

We drink alcohol after alcohol and may I say I'm handling better than that day at the club. I made sure I have a bottle of water so if I find myself becoming a bit tipsy the water will flush it out my system.

"Tempted to touch! Tempted to touch! Lil mama how I need you so much!" Tanya and I sing out as we dance against out men.

My hips are in pain but the vibes of the party makes me feel too lively to stop. Johnattan didn't look like he wants me to stop either, his dancing improves rather than flatters.

He hugs my body so close to him like he's afraid to let me go. Like he needs assurance.

But assurance of what?

He finally pulls me over to a stool at the bar so we can talk.

The music is loud and the people both local and visiting makes the area a lot noisier.

I grunt as my feet left the sand and little particles get stuck in my slippers.

Whose idea was it to keep it near the beach anyways?

"So Johnattan how was the race?" I ask as I find him staring at me.

"It was okay."

Okay?

"You lost didn't you?"

"Yeah," he says sheepishly.

"You know that since you lost my offer's off the table right?" I say teasingly.

"Sure it is," he smirks with a knowing look.

No it wasn't. I would still treat him even if he lost.

"You look gorgeous by the way," he says as he looks me over thoroughly.

Great attempt of changing the subject...

"Why thank you Joseph," I say with a smile.

An artiste climbs onto the stage and begins to sing an upbeat song about Carnival time and moving "bumpas".

Let me see them bumpas Rollin',

Let me see them bumpas rollin' on the road Carnival mornin'.

The crowd goes wild and Tanya whoops from in front of us as she finds her husband just in time to dance with him as the song hits the verse.

I smile at the happy couple. Why can't I be like that? Happy?

"Are you having fun?" Johnattan asks, the smile never leaving his face.

I find my lips lifting and I stare at him dreamily. Maybe he is my shot at happiness.

He is handsome, caring, hot and kind. No wonder I am falling for him. He's not your average dominant, he still holds the idea of equality in his mind and still he's able to have a strong Dominant nature. It's complex. How can he have two opposing qualities? Don't they contradict each other? Or do they complement each other?

Whichever it is I just know that they attract me. Coming into this relationship I wasn't looking for much but he makes me want so much more. He makes me want to face the skeletons in my closet and try and be the best I can. For him.

"Yes, I am," I smile before it slowly starts to fade away.

Am I really ready though? Can I relive that? Can I live in fear wondering if he'll ever do that to me? Happiness has a habit of going away when you need it the most. It comes when less expected and then disappears leaving you in despair.

"What's wrong Christina?" He asks as he notices my sudden mood change.

I stare into the moonlit sky which barely has any stars in it and sigh. "When I'm happy I have a habit of becoming unhappy soon after. The happiness contradicts itself."

Johnattan gives me a small smile. "Well I will try to make your happiness last for as long as I can."

And for as long as I let you, I mentally add.

He leans forward and kisses me. It is heavenly as my body reacts to it in so many ways. I could float from my seat right now if it wasn't for gravity. As much as I enjoy his kisses there is something tugging on my stomach. It acts like gravity grounding my inner flight.

Doubts? Maybe.

Fear? Maybe. I'm not sure.

The kiss ends after a few minutes and he pulls away. He cups my cheek with a look of admiration in his beautiful eyes.

This man minus his flaws is beautiful. No. Scratch that, this man with his flaws is the most beautiful creature on earth to me. I couldn't deny it. He has me swooning over him.

He smiles at me and I can't help but smile to. "Johnattan, I–"

"Hey Johnattan," a lady calls. "We need your help."

Interrupted in the middle of a confession. Not a good sign.

"Hold that thought sweet cheeks, I'll be back."

I nod. Hurry back before something goes wrong.

Johnattan excuses himself and goes to their aid as Tanya pops down beside me in a cheerful mood.

"Aren't you two cute," she gushes.

I look up and smile. Cute? We are cute?

"You were like kissie kissie," she says making smooching sounds.

I laugh at her actions, shaking my head. "You are something else."

"And you are perfect for him. The way you guys flirt, the contagious smiles you carry around each other and the way he says your name. Oo la la," she smiles.

She is right it's obvious that we are meant for each other. This may have started off as just a contract but it progressed into something more. I am infatuated with him, his smiles, the way he touches me and says my name. I just find him so irresistible.

I breathe out in content.

This is it.

Johnattan Joseph Blake, I admit it here and now I am in love with you.

Are you sure you are ready to put yourself out there knowing that you'll be vulnerable to the pain? My subconscious asks.

Yes, for him I'll try. I reply calmly. I am.

"You are so much better than the other one," Tanya says dismissively.

At that moment everything in me comes to a halt and something ticks.

The other one?

"What do you mean by the other one?" I ask confused.

"Oh, a girl he introduced to us not too long ago. What was her name? Mindy? Cindy? Kidney–?"

"Sidney?" I ask in as I feel my stomach contract.

"Yes, her. They were here together last year. She was a bitch." she still is. "The only thing she was interested in was humping him. They were like rabbits! Everywhere they went she would try something. She hated when Al and I tagged along. She said and I quote, "four's a crowd so she would be happy if we let them have personal time." Johnattan didn't seem as infatuated with her as he is with you. From what I saw he never really loved her. He only loved the sex," she explains. "But don't worry what you guys have is strong and you'll be together for a long time."

She holds my hand in comfort but I am unresponsive.

"Chrissie?" She asks worried. "Are you–?"

"Tanya, let's go! We're up!" Al says as he grabs her and pulls her away from me.

She mumbles a bye and apology but I ignore it. I sit at the bar reliving the memory of deceit. He lied to me. I can't believe it.

"Um... Johnattan why is that brunette looking at us like we killed her dog or something?"

Johnattan turns us so that he is now facing her and I hear him curse under his breath. He turns us again and places his mouth near my ear. I shiver and my eyes close momentarily.

"Um... I might have fucked her a few times," he replies.

I pull away and look at him. I laugh and he looks at me confused. "You're laughing?"

"Lemme guess she's your ex sub?"

This sounds so fifty shades. Lord that movie makes all these relationships look cliché.

"No. She was just a..." He gives a pondering look. "She was just there when I needed a quick fuck. I was handling a lot at the time."

He said she meant nothing, yet he brought her here to his romantic villa for couples. He said she was just a quick fuck yet Tanya could see that he was infatuated with her.

Why did he lie?

I would have understood; it didn't matter at first. If he had just told the truth the first time I asked it wouldn't have made a difference but now it means everything.

Here I am coming to terms with my feelings for him only to find out he lied about Sidney.

She wasn't just a quick fuck, he once loved her. Maybe he still does. Maybe I am just the rebound, someone he fucks to forget her. Imagine how stupid I must have looked fighting her over someone who didn't even think of me as nothing but a bedmate.

Or maybe she didn't mean anything but if that is true why would he treat me to the same things he did to her? Was I no different? Was I just another quick fuck?

Maybe he thought since I didn't know about her I wouldn't mind it. I would swoon over it and him and he'll get me where he wants me.

He brought her here, they may have even shared the same room we are in. They could have–

I slap a hand over my mouth, run to the back of the bar and upchuck the contents of my stomach. The feeling is so nauseating, my stomach clenches in anguish.

This always happened when I'm upset.

I walk back to the bar swaying with each step I take. Upon sitting I rinse my mouth with the bottle of water.

Was I really unimportant to him? I don't want to believe it, I couldn't.

This is exactly why we created that contract Christina. Not even a minute of disregarding my pleas and you're hurt. This is exactly what I expected to happen... I zone out on the rest of my inner lecture.

I wipe my mouth with my hand in defeat. Tears threaten to spill down my cheeks but I hold them back. I couldn't not over him...

I have to hear him out but not here. We need to go somewhere quiet and private.

He suddenly pops in the seat beside me. I watch the smile that graces his lips, I watch his lips as he mumbles an apology and I watch his eyes that hold admiration.

Is that all fake?

"What were you going to say Christi?" He asks softly.

I had a lot I was going to confess but now I don't think that they would be accurate right now. I can't say it until this is solved. I can't...

"Johnattan, I don't feel so good," I say droopily, my eyes watering.

I watch as his smile falls, his admiration turning to worry.

"I want to go back." I say in defeat.

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Q&A

Do you think she is overreacting over the Sidney thing?

If yes why do you think is her reason?

Is she taking the easy way out or is she so inexperienced with trusting someone?

Love to hear your thoughts before releasing the next chapter. 

Bye pervies.😐😰😰😨