Dolls…

Dolls are pretty

Dolls are perfect

They are pristine

They are lovely

They are quiet.

Nobody knows their secrets because their mouths are stitched shut.

They scream and cry for help but nobody hears.

Just silence.

Just pretty blue eyes and blushing cheeks and that lovely smile.

I’m not a doll

I'm a puppet.

I wear a mask and make up voices.

I've gotten so good at fake laughing and smiling that it seems nobody notices.

Unlike a doll

I speak my mind.

But that is my flaw.

I speak too much,

And it kills me inside.

I hide behind fictional characters to make myself seem real.

Sans and Papyrus.

Zim and Dib.

Mabel and Dipper.

Their just shields.

Im fucked in the head. My parents already tell me.

“I should've never adopted you!” my mom says

“At this rate your going to summer school” my dad tells me,

I know it's true.

I just don't need that painful reminder.

That I'm a screw up.

I'm the toy nobody wants.

To Throw around like trash.

So why try?

For my friends.

For the people that claim that they fucking care?

I'm garbage.

I'm weak.

Im a puppet.

Limb.

Ugly.

And old fashioned.

A waste of space.

I show my dad videos because he's the only parent who tolerates me.

I want his attention.

I want SOMEBODY TO HEAR MY FUCKING SCREAMING BUT IM JUST BURNING MY LUNGS AND DROWNING!!!

I CRY KNOW IM A SCREW UP.

HOW SO MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.

IM A WEIGHT.

THATS DRAGGING EVERYONE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN!!!

…….

So that's why I've built a thick….17 mile high wall from emotions….

I'm dead inside….

I'm a puppet…

I Will never be perfect.

I'll always...Just...be toyed with...and thrown away...