"...god, how I ricochet
between certainties and
doubts."

Callista held up a diamond stud earring to her ear. Once she was satisfied that she had memorized how it looked on her she raised a pearl teardrop to her ear. She huffed and raised the diamond one too so she could look at them.

She groaned in frustration and dropped both earrings, slamming her hands on her dressing table.

Freya walked in and looked at her, an eyebrow raised in sisterly judgement. They locked eyes through the mirror. "What's the matter with you?"

She groaned again, but this time it was closer to a scream. She rested her elbows on the dressing table and dropped her head into her hands, groaning. She looked up and found Freya in the mirror. "I can't figure out if I should wear the diamonds or the pearls."

"For dinner?"

"Yes!" She said as if it were obvious.

"Why do you care what the Lestranges think?"

"Maybe because I'm marrying one of them!"

Freya scrunched up her nose. "Not the father, right?"

Callista laughed, some of her stress falling away.

"You like him, don't you?"

She sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. "Maybe he's not as bad as I thought he would be."

Freya grinned. "I knew it! You two looked far too comfortable these past few weeks for it to just be appearances." She walked forward and examined the earrings. "What dress are you wearing?"

She pointed at the cream satin dress that her mother told her to wear. This dinner was more than a dinner between two families. They would spending the rest of the week together and it was expected of Rabastan and her to show them that the arrangement was working.

Freya looked at it. "The pearls. Wear the diamonds to the ball."

She nodded and gave her a quick hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." She grabbed the earrings and put them in and then had her sister help her with the necklace. "Now, go finished getting ready." She shooed her sister away with a laugh. She made a face and left.

~~~

"Cally!" Stellan called into her room. "They're here." She got up and slipped on her heels and followed him into the hallway.

"Ready?" He asked, moving his arm so that she could hold onto it. In her heels, she was almost as tall as he was.

"I always am." She never was.

They walked into the foyer as the Lestranges walked in. Estelle and Montgomery Lestrange walked in first. She noticed the father was paler than their last encounter and he moved with added caution. Their two sons following behind with Bellatrix Lestrange. The oldest son and his wife would only be staying for the dinner before leaving to spend it with the Blacks.

The parents greeted each other with handshakes and cheek kisses, the way all of the families greeted each other. Rabastan shook her father's hand and greeted her mom with a charming grin. He shook her brother's hand and kissed the top of her sister's knuckles. She heard her mother whisper, "A charming young lad, isn't he?"

He finally stopped at her and whispered, "Hi."

"Hi."

He smiled and moved forward to kiss her on the cheek and then pulled back and offered his arm. She smiled and took it. They followed the other's into the dining room. She leaned closer to him and in a low tone said, "What did they say that's making you suck up to my family?"

"Bellatrix threatened me."

"Ah."

Their fathers sat at the head of the table, their mothers on the side. On one side of the table, Rodolphus, Bellatrix, and Stellan sat beside Callista's mother. On the other, beside Mrs. Lestrange, sat Rabastan, Callista, and Freya.

They all settled down and a floating wine bottle moved across the table, filling everyone's glasses, skipping the twins. Stellan frowned and their mother gave him a stern look. Callista resisted the urge to smile and held up her own glass. She took a sip, looking at him while she did and he narrowed his eyes but he looked away abruptly and Callista suspected their mother elbowed him in the side.

The adults engaged in small talk and Callista turned to Rabastan.

He smiled at her. "You look beautiful."

She returned it. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"You wound me."

"That was a compliment."

"It was a shitty compliment."

She smiled at him and took another sip of her wine. This was the most relaxed she had ever been during an event with her family and she enjoyed the amount of comfort his presence brought.

"Yes, both of my boys are proud Death Eaters."

Callista's head shot up at the sound of Mr. Lestrange's voice. She looked at Rabastan, who tensed up, avoiding her eyes.

Her father nodded. "I hope my own son will join when he's old enough."

Stellan's face paled but he kept his head up, avoiding the worried eyes of Freya.

Callista's mind whirled, but she looked forward. She refused to look at Rabastan. Stellan could not become a Death Eater. He valued knowledge, he would not last. He would not be able to preform the tasks required and she feared he would lose his life for it.

And Rabastan? She wanted to believe his father forced him, but that was a foolish hope. She did not even know why she was upset. She knew deep down that he would turn to the Dark Arts, that he would follow in his brother's footsteps. He was corrupt. Her silly crush on him blinded her to the realities they faced.

Could she even be mad at him? What would it accomplish if she hated him for it? She would still have to marry him. Would it hurt more loving him through it or hating him through it? She did not know, for she would be miserable either way.

~~~

After tossing and turning in bed for an hour, Callista could not take it anymore. Her thoughts had been consumed entirely of Rabastan and their future together and what his Death Eater status would mean for them. She needed to talk to him.

She threw the covers off of her and sat up. The floor was cold but she made herself stand up and walk to the door. She turned the doorknob and edged the door open, looking down the hallway.

She stepped out and walked down the hallway and a few doors down she found the room that Rabastan was staying in. She stopped in front of the door and raised her fist to knock on the door. She hesitated. It seemed silly now. What was she even going to say to him? He might not even be awake.

Before she could decide, the doorknob turned and the door swung open. Rabastan stood on the other side, his eyes widening. "Callista?"

"Uh. Hi."

"Hi." His tone was wary. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah."

"Right." He stood to the side and let her come in. She walked to stand on the carpet in the center of the room. She had forgotten her slippers in her room and the floor was cold.

"Did I wake you?"

His lips twitched upwards as he closed the door. "I didn't even hear you. I was going to find the bathroom."

"Oh."

"Why did you come here?"

She looked at the floor. Why did she come here? To ask him about it? To scream at him? To tell him it was okay? "I couldn't sleep."

He looked at her and frowned. "Because I'm a Death Eater?"

She inhaled. Hearing him say it was so much worse. "So many things." He took a step closer. "Why did you want to become one?"

He furrowed his brows. He shrugged. "I wanted to know more about the Dark Arts." She nodded and when it was clear she was not going to say anything more, he continued. "There is so much magic we don't know about. And then there's the war. It's going to happen either way."

"But why get involved?" She looked him in the eyes for the first time since she arrived.

"I don't know. I guess I thought it would be better to be on his side. I- I've seen what happens to people who are against him."

She nodded, taking in his answer. Could she blame him for being curious? For being cautious? "I'm scared," she said.

"Of what?" He was standing in front of her now.

"Of the war. I'm scared for my brother's safety. Our safety."

"If anything happens to me, if I get caught, I'll make sure you're never connected. And if you can't get your brother out of this, I'll protect him too."

"You don't have to do that."

He grabbed her hand in his and ran his thumb over her knuckles. She looked down and then back to him, tears forming in her eyes.

"You are going to be my wife. It would be my duty to protect you." He shrugged. "And I kind of want to." His lips turned upwards into a smile.

"Just kind of?" She smiled and he raised a hand to wipe away a tear that escaped. "You're going to need to work on this whole being a husband thing."

"I'll do my best." He whispered. "Are you going to be able to sleep?"

She sighed. "I think so."

He shrugged, glancing at his bed. "You could always stay here."

"Haha, and my father would kill you and then me." They laughed and he walked her to the door, whispering a goodnight. He closed the door and she turned to walk down the hallway, still conflicted. Who was she becoming that she was so ready to accept his role as a willing Death Eater? And was this person as bad as everyone already thought she was?

________________________________________

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– walkingmasterpiece xx