Two weeks went by. We turned in our projects and just like that there was no longer a connection between Kai and I. Before we knew it was spring break and everybody was more than happy to leave school with plans.

Dean and I continued to talk to each other. While Kai and I barely saw each other. When we did see each other, we didn't converse like we knew each other. Both of us acted like what happened to us that night never happened.

That night, I sat on my bed and thought about everything that had happened. Quite honestly, I've been glancing at my phone more than often. My ears would perk up at the sound of the motorcycle revving. My whole body would stiffen.

Was I waiting for him?

Bringing my knees up to my chest, I stared at the hole in my wall. The damage in my wall happened when Avery and I were in eighth grade. We were throwing a tennis ball back and forth and it caused a dent in the wall.

My phone beeped. Startled, I grabbed my phone quickly from beside me and looked at the screen. It was a message from Dean. He wanted to pick me up for a spring break party tonight. His friend was hosting it.

My parents would not be home until late tonight. I could slip away and party before coming back. I texted Dean back that I'll go. He texted me back that he'll come pick me up.

Jumping off the bed, I walked to my closet and picked out a white spaghetti strapped dress. It wasn't too formal or too casual. I released my hair from my bun and it fell in natural waves around my shoulders and down my back. I put on a simple butterfly necklace and bracelet. Lastly, I put on a pair of white sandals.

I walked downstairs just in time. I saw Dean pull up in his black car. I grabbed my purse and keys before walking out to meet him. He popped out from the driver's seat and waved at me. I waved back.

"Hey," Dean greeted with a grin.

"Hey, thanks for inviting me."

"It wouldn't be fun without you." I settled into the passenger seat. Dean leaned over and helped me with my seatbelt before settling back in the driver's seat and pulling on his seatbelt.

"Thank you."

"No problem," he responded.

Dean put the car in drive and drove off. When we turned the corner of the block, he let go of the shift and reached over for my hand that was in my lap. Lifting it up, he brought it to his lips. Brushing over the back of my hand gently with them. I didn't stop him, but my guts clenched. Before I knew it, I pulled my hand back.

He saw the recoil and his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, it's okay." I tried to ease the tension.

Why did I pull back like that?

We went silent for several minutes. It was very awkward, and the tension was thick. I scratched the back of my neck before turning to look out the window. I could feel Dean's eyes on me now and then.

I was kind of thankful for the silence because I couldn't understand this feeling. Why was I so nervous around Dean? My heart would skip differently from how it would around Kai. My reaction was unexplainable.

Dean stopped in front of a house and I broke from my thoughts to look up. All lights in the house were on and there were people in and outside of the house, on the front lawn, and on the porch.

"I'm sorry that I did that earlier, Tamsin. I don't know what I was thinking. It just felt natural for me to do that and you know that I like you. I like you a lot."

I turned to look at him and see that he looked deeply apologetic.

"I'm fine, Dean. I just feel that I might not be ready to go that far yet. We have only just started knowing each other and I would like to get to know you some more before anything else."

"It's just that-"

I smiled and reached over to place my hand over his hand that was on the shift.

"I'm truly fine and I forgive you."

He smiled back and nodded. "Alright, let's go in then."

I released the seatbelt and opened the door to get out. As soon as we were out of the car, Dean was being pulled away by a bunch of his friends. He turned around to look at me helplessly. I smiled and waved my hand to assure him I was okay. As soon as he disappeared behind the house, I made my way up the walkway to the front of the house. Some people glanced my way, but said nothing. Crossing my arms, I followed the direction of Dean went.

When I made it to the back, the music and bodies doubled. There were so many people I had to squeeze my way through. In the middle of the backyard was an enormous pool. Backyard lights hung around the pool area.

I hung around outside for a bit, not really looking at anybody or anything. It felt off being at this party. It felt like I didn't belong in this kind of world. Needing a little space from the crowded space, I stepped out and walked back to the front.

I made it around to the front and saw Kai walking in with Chloe. Immediately, I recalled what I overheard at school about them. The thought didn't settle with me. I felt an instant surge of irritation and anger. She had her arms wrapped around Kai's arm. Practically rubbing her breasts all over him, and he wasn't doing anything to get her off.

I didn't realize how hard I was digging into my palms until they disappeared from sight. I didn't even breathe. Releasing a heavy sigh, I shook my head. What was I thinking? Why this reaction?

Someone tapped my shoulder, and I turned to see Dean. He smiled and took hold of my hand again. I forced a smile back.

"I'm sorry about earlier. The boys wanted me to chug down a couple of beers. You okay, right? No one bothered you?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine."

"Let me take you around. I'll introduce you to the group."

I nodded my head, and he walked me back to the back of the house. One by one, he showed me off to a bunch of people. It was hard to even memorize their faces and names. So, I greeted and nodded my head politely. When they asked about personal things about me, I would offer a few sentences here and there. Somewhere in between, somebody mentioned Ava.

"Bro, she's here tonight. Don't let Ava see you with her."

"Ava and I are over. There's nothing to worry about."

"Did you make it clear to her? Cause I just spoke to her earlier, and she was looking for you."

"I got it handled," Dean smiled before quickly pulling me away.

"Are things between you and Ava truly done?" I asked.

"Yes, you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not sure, but it sounds like she still isn't over you."

Dean sighed and turned to cup my cheeks.

"I'll take care of her if she ends up creating a commotion."

"But-"

"I won't let her hurt you." I wasn't too sure if he meant it, but I could try to avoid Ava or stick to Dean if anything happens.

Halfway through and feeling a little overwhelmed with so many people, I tapped Dean on the shoulder and leaned in to tell him I'm a little tired. He walked me over to the refreshment table. Some boy pouring cups after cups of alcohol handed me a cup.

"Actually, I wanted water."

The boy laughed. "There's no water here, babe. Drink up and party hard, eh?"

Dean reached for my cup and tried to take it from me.

"I'll go get you water."

"No, that's fine. I'll just take a sip- "

"Don't worry about it, Tamsin. I'll be right back. Wait for me right here." He gulped down the cup in my hand quickly before tossing it at the boy managing the refreshment table.

I watched him walk away again and sighed. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I strolled around the pool area in the direction that Dean left. Halfway to the back door of the house and I felt someone come up behind me and push me.

I fell into the pool. I splashed to get back to the surface. Once I was on the surface, I looked around me. Everyone was looking at me. Some of them were laughing and pointing their fingers. I looked at the edge of where I was pushed from and saw Ava standing there. She was laughing and pointing her finger at me.

Shame.

I have never felt so much embarrassment in my life. This was worse than the cafeteria period incident. Tears welled up in my eyes and I swam to the other side of the pool where the pool stairs were at. I climbed up the steps and swept my wet strands of hair back. I looked ahead and saw Kai standing there with Chloe. Both of them were staring at me. Chloe was staring at me with a pity look while Kai looked at me with a blank face.

More tears clouded my vision, and I swiped the tears rolling down my cheeks away. I took one look down my dress and saw that everyone could see everything. The red push-up bra and black panties I put on. It was my breaking point. I sobbed out loud and covered my mouth. Even if I wanted to cry and scream at the sky, I won't do it in front of these people. I looked at Kai again and he was gone. Chloe stood there watching me.

A second later, Dean came storming outside. He ran over to me and covered me with a blanket.

"I'm so sorry, Tamsin."

"Take me home."

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I really didn't. I just wanted to grab you some water. I didn't think-"

I slapped him across the face hard. "Take me home."

Dean looked torn. He nodded his head and put an arm around my shoulder while walking me back to his car. The entire car ride, I sat in silence. Tears still rolling down my cheeks, I thought back to what had just happened. The look on everyone's face. The look on Kai's face. More tears rolled down my cheeks, and I angrily swiped them away.

I had no one to blame by myself.

I could feel Dean's eyes on me. He kept looking over my way and it made me angrier. I just wanted to be home, but the ride seemed to be forever.

When we finally made it to my house, I didn't waste a second. I opened the car door and stepped out. I didn't even bother saying goodbye or glancing at Dean.

I heard the car door close from behind me. Footsteps running up to me and even though I was rushing to the door, he caught me by the arm. Dean turned me around to look at him.

"Can we talk?"

"No." I glared at him.

"I really didn't mean for this to happen. I really do like you, Tamsin. Ava...she's just difficult to handle. I thought I made things clear with her..."

"I don't want to hear it, Dean."

"I know. I know you don't want to hear me explain or come up with an excuse, but I really want you to know that I do like you."

I scoffed and tried to get him off of me. Shaking my head, I had all this pent up anger inside of me. All the walls inside of me were crumbling, and all I wanted to do was scream and vent. Dean was in the way and released the blanket around me to push him hard.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed. My tears were falling like a waterfall at this point.

"I'm sorry, Tamsin."

"I hear you! You told me you were sorry. I hear you telling me that everything will be okay and I shouldn't worry. But that doesn't change anything. You liking me doesn't change anything."

"Please, Tamsin. I get it you're angry and you have every right to take it out on me-"

"Leave!" I screamed and crouched low to cover my ears. I didn't want to hear a single word he had to say. I didn't want to look at him.

He tried to reach for me again, but decided against it. He stood for a good minute before he walked away. I waited until I heard his car pull away before I stood up and stared at the sky. Tears were rolling down my face now, and I sobbed. I broke into a complete, loud, and ugly sob. I couldn't stop it.

Why did I allow myself to get here? What was I chasing? How could I be the one person I told myself not to be? I had a dream and only wanted to make it true. In the process, I ended up hurting myself more. Maybe if I hadn't met Dean, things would have been different.

When I finally calmed down, I turned and walked back inside the house. I walked slowly to my bedroom. Grabbed my bathrobe and walked into the bathroom to shower. Turning on the water, I stood beneath it and let it drown all my tears.

It took a while, but I finally stopped crying. My eyes were swollen and red, but I stopped. I turned off the water and dried myself off. I put on my bathrobe and walked to my bedroom, where I fell on the bed and curled up into a fetal position. My phone buzzed in my purse that sat on my nightstand. I didn't bother grabbing it. It continued buzzing for a long time, but I couldn't move.

I heard my parents come in and walk into their bedroom, but I couldn't think. I stay up like this for the longest time. The shame and embarrassment. How was I supposed to move on from that?

I looked like a fool. I should know all the signs. I should've stayed home and kept my head low. I shouldn't have reached for what was unreachable. My phone buzzed again, and I looked up at my purse.

Slowly, I leaned over and reached for it. Opening my purse, I took out my phone and saw how many missed calls I had. A few of them were from Dean. Most of them were from Avery. I received over thirty text messages. I opened my phone to look at the messages.

Some of them were from Dean, but most of them were from Avery. She was freaking out. It went viral. My video went viral.

I knew Avery wouldn't stop messaging me if I didn't message her back. So, I sent her a text to say I was fine and that I'll talk to her tomorrow before I tossed my phone aside and crawled beneath my comforters. Hiding from the world and from my shame.