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Chapter Thirty-Nine

Jungkook trailed closely after Jin as he went through numerous baby goods, carefully examining each one before adding it to the list he was building. He observed Jin's focused expression and the way he considered every detail.

With each addition to the list, Jungkook couldn't help but feel a growing sense of overwhelming unpreparedness and self-doubt as a future parent. It was as if a wave of uncertainty washed over him, making him question his ability to provide for their child.

As they navigated through the mall's aisles, Jungkook's anxiety intensified. He realized how little he knew about basic newborn necessities. In the midst of it all, he couldn't shake the feeling that Jin might have noticed his internal struggle, adding to his sense of inadequacy.

Jin pointed at what looked like a cute bed and said, "This is so cute. Something we will definitely need," to Jungkook. This just confused Jungkook, as he thought Jin had already found a bed for their baby in a previous store they had visited. This led him to wonder if the baby would need more than one bed and, if so, what the reason for it could be. Trying not to show his confusion, he smiled and decided to set up a call with his brother to clarify things.

"Having a baby costs a lot of money." Jungkook heard Jin say this while examining the pricing of another bed-like item.

As Jungkook approached Jin, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Have you been looking at the prices? Everything is so expensive. I know I have money saved, but I don't think-"

"Seokjin, please," Jungkook said right away, grasping Jin's hand. "Rest assured, there's no need to be concerned about the price of anything. We have money."

"You have, not me." Jin corrected Jungkook while staring at him. "I understand you are wealthy, Jungkook, and I am not blind, but that is not the case for me. I also don't want the responsibility of everything for the baby to be on your shoulders."

"Seokjin, I don't feel the responsibility of anything on my shoulders. Furthermore, I disagree with the perspective you are presenting. This is our baby, and if I can afford to cover all the expenses, I believe that should be acceptable without any further consideration.

You are already doing a challenging task in nurturing our baby, ensuring their well-being until we can finally meet them. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that I am fully capable of handling the financial aspect without any worries. Money has never been and will never be an issue for me. We can afford anything our baby will need."

Jin groaned, "Jungkook, I know you can, but I don't want it to seem like you're responsible for everything in our child's future. I have some money saved and would like to help with certain items."

"Seokjin, I want to clarify that not everything is my responsibility. We are in this together. Our relationship is evolving towards marriage, where everything I have will be shared with you. Please understand that I don't want to keep anything just for myself. Everything I do for our baby is a joint effort, not solely my own. It's the foundation of our partnership in this relationship."

Jin remained silent and proceeded to explore the store they were currently in. Jungkook wasn't sure if he had unintentionally said something that could have been taken the wrong way. He decided to be cautious with his words to avoid any potential misunderstandings. He had received feedback in the past about not always choosing the right things to say, and he was determined to improve for the sake of their relationship, even though it was a hard struggle for him.

Lost in his own thoughts, he suddenly noticed the considerable distance that had grown between him and Jin when a sales associate approached him.

"Hey there! How can I help you today?" A friendly man with a warm smile asked, giving Jungkook a quick once-over.

"You can't," Jungkook spoke abruptly but quickly realized he had many questions.

"I have a question, and perhaps you, as an employee here, might have the answers. I expect you to be knowledgeable enough to provide answers to my questions. Unless you are similar to previous assistants I have had who lacked competence in their role."

The man laughed, "That's funny, but I can assure you that I am very competent at my job. So, what can I help you with?"

"Okay, I didn't intend for it to be a joke. I'm interested in your experience and knowledge gained from working here. What is the usual number of beds that parents purchase for a newborn? I am asking because my partner has been exploring a lot of beds. I've been a bit confused because they all look different.

I don't know if there are different kinds for different purposes. I was not too fond of one I saw that resembled a prison filled with many bars. Then there were open and extremely high ones that appeared unsafe. For instance, that particular one." Jungkook gestured towards the item he had been talking about.

The man smiled as he attentively listened to Jungkook, leaning in closer and tilting his head to follow Jungkook's gaze.

"Oh, that's actually a baby changing table, not a bed. Many parents find it helpful for changing their babies' diapers, clothes, and other necessities. It offers a gentle surface for changing your baby and can improve your comfort during diaper changes.

The bed you mentioned that might feel confining is commonly referred to as a crib. A crib is a cozy little bed designed to keep your precious baby safe and secure. With its high bars surrounding the sides, you can rest easy knowing your little one won't take any unexpected tumbles. As babies grow, they become quite active, and these bars are designed to keep them safe and prevent accidents."

As the guy spoke, Jungkook swiftly jotted down notes on his phone. He was discovering a wealth of new knowledge, and he suddenly understood just how much more prepared Seokjin had been.

"Babe, our baby and I are hungry," Jin said casually as he materialized, casually draping his arms around Jungkook and leaning against him. He glanced over at the guy who had been standing near Jungkook. "Who is this you are talking to?"

"What do you want to eat?" Jungkook swiftly inquired, gently freeing Jin's arms from their embrace and pivoting to meet his gaze.

Jin looked at him with a curious expression and crossed his arms, asking, "Who is this?"

"Hey there, I'm Hoon. I was chatting with your husband about our available baby items."

"I see. Well, keep helping him then," Jin responded and walked away.

Hoon could tell right away that Jin was upset, judging by his immediate reaction and expression. He glanced in Jungkook's direction, noticing a look of confusion on his face.

"It seems like your husband might be feeling a bit upset. It might be a good idea to go and see how he's doing. It's never pleasant dealing with an upset pregnant person."

"He's feeling hungry, not upset. Also, we are not married. I am eager for that to occur soon, but I recognize that I must put in a lot of effort before it becomes a reality. I don't believe I align with his vision for the future, but I am trying to alter that perception.

Thank you for providing such clear explanations about the bed. I'll return once I've found something for him to eat. There were different types of beds, but now I'm uncertain if they were beds. I want to understand all of this to support him better if he asks me to accompany him to the mall again. He may not want me to because I haven't been very helpful today."

Hoon was sad upon hearing Junkook's words, for he could discern Jungkook's dedication despite being a stranger to him. "Sometimes, it's not just about your knowledge but your presence that truly counts. It seems things might be a little uncertain for you and your partner, but don't worry. Just keep doing what you're doing because his recent reaction indicates that he genuinely cares about you.

By the way, in the future, it might be best not to take his arms away when he hugs you, especially when other people are around. It seemed like he wasn't too fond of that. He wanted to make it clear that you belong to him and that I should stay away."

"He is well aware that I am already his. I am solely focused on him. He should never doubt my loyalty or question my commitment to him. I will always be faithful and devoted."


*****


"Seokjin, I'm not a fan of our current silence. It seems you are listening to me but deliberately choosing not to reply, which I believe is harmful to our communication." Jungkook observed Jin as they sat across from each other in the restaurant.

"If you're looking for a conversation, Hoon is the person to go to. I'm confident that he can answer many more questions for you!"

"I think so too. He seems to have a strong grasp of his job responsibilities and is skilled at effectively communicating information. So, I intend to return to speak with him once you're done eating. However, it appears that you are upset with me, and I am unsure of what I may have done to cause this."

"I'm heading home. Why don't you go back to Hoon?" Jin stood up abruptly, leaving his meal untouched. He exclaimed and pushed his chair away.

Jungkook quickly stood up, leaving money on the table before he caught up with Jin. He gently took hold of Jin's hand as they exited the restaurant.

"Seokjin, if I made a mistake, please let me know what it is instead of behaving like this. I feel uncomfortable and concerned because I'm unsure of what I might be doing to upset you, and without that knowledge, I can't make changes.

If I am unable to resolve this issue, my chances of losing you will only grow, and considering my current struggle to keep you, I am desperate to know what I am doing wrong. Please educate me on my mistakes." Jungkook begged earnestly, his gaze locked with Jin's.

"Why do you care about losing me when you won't allow me to hug you while talking to someone else? Do you really like me, or do you like other people? Also, what questions can Hoon answer that I couldn't?"

Jungkook felt a sense of relief when he heard Jin's questions, as he could provide answers for each of them. "Apologies if it appeared that I was opposed to your hug; that was not my intention. I enjoy receiving hugs from you, but I must admit that it feels different when we're in public. I will try to ensure that my actions do not give the impression that I dislike your hugs, as I genuinely appreciate them. I find the most comfort in your embrace.

I believe I have made a sincere effort to express my feelings for you. You are the only person I am attracted to and find to be the most fitting in my life." Jungkook gently traced his thumb along Jin's fingers as he spoke to him.

"It seems you could answer all the questions I had asked Hoon, but I didn't want to reveal my lack of preparedness for our baby's arrival. I was feeling useless and unprepared. I had no prior knowledge about changing tables or cribs, and I felt quite overwhelmed during our time at the mall. I wanted to educate myself, so I approached him with my questions.

It's important to me to be fully supportive and involved in caring for you and our baby. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, and you're not going through this alone. However, I'm not entirely confident that I'm doing it correctly. I intended to call my brother and request his help, but I had decided to do so later. I don't want to fail at this, Seokjin."

Jin's heart melted when he heard Jungkook's voice crack. Without hesitation, he inched closer and gently asked, "May I hug you?"

"Please."

Jin leaned in and embraced Jungkook tightly, finding solace in their mutual embrace. "Don't worry; you won't fail. We're in this together. It would have been helpful if you had shared your questions with me beforehand so that I could have provided you with the answers. I wouldn't have considered you useless or unprepared.

This is a new experience for us, and I'm constantly learning. Thanks to Jimin and Taehyung, I've learned a lot. But it would help if you didn't think I know everything because I don't.

Earlier, you mentioned that our relationship is a partnership, so let's continue to honor that. We can rely on each other to maintain financial stability, and I can learn about what our baby needs. That's part of what makes things work between us. We each bring unique strengths to the table, which will undoubtedly make us amazing parents."

Jungkook remained silent, yet his tears seeped into Jin's shirt, conveying everything. Jin had never seen him so vulnerable before, and he was determined not to do anything that would make Jungkook regret opening up to him. He realized there was so much he needed to learn and understand about Jungkook, and with each passing day, he grew more receptive to expanding his understanding and awareness.

"Do you want to revisit the stores so you can ask any questions or share your thoughts? I'll be here to help you out."

"Yes, but after you eat. You didn't finish your meal despite claiming to be hungry. You really shouldn't go without eating."

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