Halley...

Here we go. I woke up this morning knowing what I have to do and not looking forward to it at all. Here I am standing in front of my mirror looking at my self in a nice black dress that Emily bought for me, it's all black lace that reaches my knees it doesn't have have sleeves its just cut off at the shoulder.

I grab hold of the necklace I haven't taken off for almost four years now, me, Emily, and Melody all got matching necklaces when Emily was diagnosed. They're not intricate, but they are simply gorgeous. Mine is an infinity sign with my name, Emily's is a heart with her name, and Melody's is a star with her name, all of them are silver and the fit our personality's so well.

Melody is definitely a star she always has all the attention on her without even trying and she shines at everything she attempts. Emily followed her heart no matter what, she always cared for everyone, and she was just the sweetest person I have ever known. Emily always said the infinity sign represented how I hold things together because without that there would be no infinity, but I don't really think I hold things together all that great, I try really hard, but keeping it together is a little harder than it seems.

Without even realizing it all these memories brought tears to my eyes. Dammit, I haven't even went to the funeral and I'm already crying what the hell? Stop, Halley keep your shit together for one more day then you can crumble. I take a deep breath in then slip on my black and white blazer.

"Here goes nothing." I mumble to myself picking up my keys and walking out of the house. I drive over to Michael's because he doesn't want fans following him, so I'm going to pick him and Melody up. I pull up to the address he gave me, instead of honking I walk up to the door and knock. A blonde haired boy opens the door, which kind of intimidates me because I mean I deal with a lot of tall people because I'm only like 5'4 but he towers over me, by at least a foot. "H-hi." I stutter. "Is Michael here?"

"Yeah come on in, he should be ready in a minute.

"Thank you." I say walking past him into a humongous flat. "Wow, this place is gorgeous."

"Thank you, so you're Halley right?"

"Yes, it's nice to meet you Luke right?" I question.

"Yes ma'am." How does he know my name? "Michael talks about you a lot." he says answering my unasked question.

"Oh really, what does he say?"

"Well he said that you like horror movies, that you like the 'Ramones', and he warned us not to piss you off because you could kick our arses."

I roll my eyes. "Sounds like Michael."

"Luke who was- well hello." A brunette now enters the room.

"You must be Halley."

"I am and you are Ashton?"

"Yes I'm Ashton. Ashton Irwin."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ashton." I extend my hand.

"The pleasure is all mine." He accepts my hand shake. Out of the blue the black haired boy that i remember from the hospital comes stumbling into the room wearing only his boxer shorts.

"Have you guys seen my shoes?"

"Don't you need to put on some pants before your shoes?" I ask.

"Fuck sorry um, I'm Calum." he says blushing.

"Hi I'm Halley." I say.

"Luke can I talk to you for a minute? In the kitchen."

"Yeah sure?" Luke looks over to me and shrugs. "Ow what was that for?" I hear Luke whine.

"For letting me embarrass myself dumb ass."

"I told you she was coming don't blame me for this, this is all you."

"You didn't tell me she was hot though." Calum argues. Great now I'm blushing.

"I didn't know."

"UGHHHH."

"Don't go back out there, put on some pants."

"Oh yeah." I shake my head.

"They're pretty stupid." Ashton says.

"Most boys are."

"Hey!"

"Is it hi or hey?"

"Fuck you." I laugh. I know a little bit about 5 Seconds of Summer because Emily was pretty obsessed with them and I constantly heard about them, so I know some basic information, which seems to be coming in handy.

"Auntie Halley!"

"Hey Mel." I say as the little girl jumps in my arms. "You look nice." I tell the little girl.

"I did it all by myself." she smiles.

"Good job Mel."

"Hey Halley."

"Hi Michael. How are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm alright. How about you?"

"Okay i guess, so are you ready?"

"Uh I don't know where's Cal?" He asks the other boys.

"Putting on some pants." Ash replies.

"Ugh. Oh yeah, Halley you don't mind if the boys tag along do you?"

"Um no not at all, my car is a little small though."

"That's alright Ash can sit in the trunk."

"Hey!" Ashton interjects.

"That's illegal." I reason.

"We do it all the time don't worry."

"Yes, because that makes it more legal how?"

Michael rolls his eyes. "Stop being such a goody-to-shoes it'll be fine."

"Alright, whatever, i don't care."

"You used to say that all the time."

"What?" I question.

"That you didn't care and I used to always reply with 'do you care about anything'."

"And then i was like 'If it has to do with you no', I remember that."

"We don't mean to interrupt your cute little memories, but we have to go." Luke says.

"Yeah."

"I call shotgun!" Calum calls running out the door.

"Looks like you're in the middle Mike."

"I figured."

"And I'm in the trunk, yay." Ashton says sarcastically following the boys out to the car.

"So Halley, tell us about yourself." Calum says once we're all seated in the car and on the road.

"What do you want to know?"

"What do you like to do? Where do you work? Where'd you go to school? Stuff like that."

"Well I'm a paralegal at a local law firm and I'm in college to become a full time lawyer."

"That's cool when do you graduate?" Ashton asks.

"Next year."

"What do you do when you're not in uni?" Calum asks.

"I don't know, I haven't had free time in quite a while with the whole Emily thing, and going to college and taking care of Melody. I don't really do much, but when I have downtime I like to read."

"Really, that's it? You read?" Michael asks.

"Well I don't know, I play guitar a lot and I write stuff."

"I didn't know you could play guitar." Luke says.

"Yeah I can."

"She's actually really good." Michael states.

"I'm not that good thanks though."

"Will you play for us sometime?" Calum asks.

"Maybe," I shrug.

"Can you play any other instruments?" Ashton questions.

"Not really."

"Don't you play piano?" Michael asks.

"I haven't played piano in a really long time, I don't know if I remember how."

"Can you sing?" Calum inquires.

"Meh."

"I WANNA HEAR!"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease."

"No."

"Why not?" Calum pouts.

"Because I don't want to."

"Why?"

"It's bad that's why." I reply.

"It can't be that bad."

"It could be, you never know and you never will I'm not singing end of discussion."

"Please."

"No."

"Auntie Halley sings pretty." Melody interrupts.

"Really you've heard her sing Mel?" Luke asks.

"She sings to me sometimes when I can't sweep and it's pretty."

"Thanks Mel."

"You're welcome Auntie Halley."

"You sing for Mel why won't you sing for us?" Cal asks with this adorable puppy face. I literally almost give in when I see this pout, but taking care of Melody has built up my immunity against pouty faces.

"Because she is six and you are twenty-six, plus I've only just met you and you're international superstars."

"You've known Michael for years sing for him."

"I don't like him."

"I'm right here." Michael says.

"Yeah well, I don't really care, you don't like me either so we're even."

"Why don't you guys get on well?" Ashton asks.

"We never have, not even when we were young."

"How'd you guys meet anyway?" Luke questions.

"Our parents are friends, so we were kind of forced upon each other." I reply.

"I think I know why they don't like each other." Ashton states proudly.

"And why is that?"

"I promise if you say we're both secretly in love with each other or some shit I will kick your ass." I snap.

"Okay then, never mind."

"You are so lucky my daughter is in the car or I would slap you upside the head. Can you even imagine that ew? Me and Halley that's just gross."

"We would be a match made in hell." I laugh.

"I actually think you guys would be cute together." Luke chimes.

"No one asked you." Michael snaps.

"I'm going to have to agree with Luke on this one. What about you Cal? Do you ship Malley?"

"Great, this is wonderful we have a fucking ship name." I say sarcastically.

"GROSS!" Michael whines.

"Sorry guys, but I'm going to agree with Halley on this one for the simple fact I think she could kick my ass."

"Fuck you." Ashton says.

"Sorry dude."

"Good choice Cal." I pat his shoulder. He grins.

---

"You sure you're going to be okay Hal?" Ashton asks as we stand outside the funereal home.

"No, but I'm going in there."

"Halley you really don't have to." Luke says.

"Yes I do."

"If it gets to be too much come and find one of us okay?"

"I'm fine, it's not going to hurt me to attend a memorial guys, but thanks for your concern." I guess Michael told them about my panic attacks otherwise they wouldn't be so worried.

"Alright." I take a deep breath and walk towards the door. Ash pulls on the handle holding the door for all of us. When we enter the actual room where the memorial is held the atmosphere is so depressing, everyone is crying and wearing black, it's just sad. I spot Emily's dad and step mum and make my way over to them. I love Emily's dad and step mum, but I can't stand Emily's actual mother.

"Hi." I say.

"Hey sunshine how are you?" Emily's dad, Max, asks.

"I'm alright, how are you?"

"I'm hanging in there."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"It wasn't only our loss I think Emily saw you more than me, but thank you." He replies.

"Hi Jane." Jane is Emily's stepmother.

"Hey Halley."

"How's Josh?" Emily's stepbrother's Josh is in the army, but when we were kids all three of us constantly hung out, we included Michael occasionally.

"He's actually here today, I think he's talking to those boys over there." She points.

"Where's Mel?"

"With her dad. You remember Michael right? Yeah he's been taking care of her, Emily gave him custody." I explain.

"I thought for sure she would've given you custody." Max says.

'I wish she would have' I think. "Emily was very unpredictable." I say instead.

"Are you giving an eulogy?"

"Yes sir."

"I'm sure it will be wonderful, you were always a great writer." Jane states.

"Thank you. Um- I guess I should go say hi to a few other people, but it was very nice to see you."

"It was, feel free to drop by anytime Halley we miss you running around our house."

"I miss it too." I give them a small smile then I walk away greeting a few other people.

Some one grabs my shoulders making me jump. "Hey sunshine."

"Josh!" I exclaim excitedly wrapping my arms around his torso. "How have you been?"

"Fine, how about you? How's law school?"

"It's whatever, I'm so sick of it. Its been seven freaking years and I'm still in school, it's driving me nuts."

"Eight extra years of school? I barely made it through high-school, I can't even imagine."

"Trust me you don't want to."

"How'd you do it with the whole Emily thing?" He asks.

"Instead of attending university I talked to my teachers and did it all on the computer."

"That's cool."

"It was a lot harder, but I managed." I shrug. "How's  being in the army?"

"I actually kind of enjoy it, besides the fact I have to get up before the sun."

"I can't believe they can get you up, when we were kids it was a miracle if you got up before noon."

"I was still up before you." He argues.

"I needed my beauty sleep."

"I don't think it worked." I slap his arm.

"I still look better than you."

"Not possible, look at these guns." He says flexing his muscles.

"Michael had bigger muscles than that in high school." I lie, Josh's arms are actually really huge and muscular, while fetus Michael's arms were scrawny. Michael's arms aren't like that anymore though, puberty did him well.

"You must be talking about a different Michael because the Michael I know was like, the scrawniest kid in school back in the day. Speaking of Michael have you seen him? I just talked to him a few minutes ago, he's doing really well and his arms are almost as big as mine. Almost."

"You're an idiot, and yes I've seen him. He actually rode here with me and he has custody of Mel."

"Where is Mel?"

"I don't know." I look around.

"Chill Halley she's probably with one of his band mates or playing with the cousins, no need to freak."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"The service is starting we better sit down." I nod my head and take a seat by Josh.

---

"Thank you Mr. Parker and next to say a few words about Emily is her very special friend, Michael Clifford." the priest says.

"I didn't know he was giving a eulogy." Josh whispers in my ear.

"Neither did I." I reply.

"Um hi everyone, I'm Michael Clifford. I was Emily's boyfriend and- um- she was a very special person, maybe that's why I loved her so much. I'm a songwriter so this should have been fairly easy for me, but it wasn'. It wasn't easy at all because what are you supposed to say about a person that deserves the world? I mean there isn't anything I can say to describe what kind of person Emily was besides perfect. I can't pick out one flaw, she was absolutely perfect which is why I understand that she couldn't stay here. She was too pure for this world. This world is cruel and heartless and to survive sometimes you have to drop down to that level and that wasn't Emily, she couldn't do that, she wouldn't do that. There was no way that Emily would have ever been able to be unkind no matter what. You could say anything to that girl, call her any name, be as rude as you wanted and she would just smile and turn the other cheek. I know that Emily is better off where she is now, she's going to enjoy it so much more up there and she is definitely going to make a wonderful angel. Emily if you can hear this I love you baby girl and I miss you." By the end of his speech everyone is crying even Michael.

"Thank you Mr. Clifford that was very nice." The priest says. Michael nods and takes his seat. "Last, but not least we will hear from miss Halley Greene."

I walk up to the podium wiping the remaining tears from my eyes. "Um- well first off I'd like to thank everyone that is here today it means a lot to the family and to me so thank you. I would also like to thank all the people who spoke about Emily in a kind manner and reminding us all of the good times we had with her, there were so many.

Emily was my bestfriend, so I was blessed with so many memories with a very wonderful person. She knew things about me know one else knew and the same with her. We were so close and honestly I don't know why she even liked me I can be a real bitch sometimes, but her friendship never once wavered.

I remeber our first big fight and it was over some boy, I don't even know why either of us liked him he was a total douche, but we both liked him and somehow I got him to go on a date with me. And that whole week Emily and I ignored each other, but then one day the guy just dumped me out of the blue and do you know who I ran to? Emily. Even though we were mad at each other she opened her arms and let me cry and when I finally told her what happened she didn't say I told you so. No, she said 'Halley, everything happens for a reason there's no need to cry over someone that didn't deserve you anyway, its his loss.'

She was so nice, she never let anyone feel bad if she saw someone crying or sitting alone she did something about it. One day there was a new kid in our school and I had known him for a while, but he lived in a different town so we didn't go to school together, but we never really got along. I thought he was an ass he thought I was a bitch we just pretty much hated each other, but Emily would not listen to me, nope. She walked over to where he was sitting all by himself and sat right down without any knowledge of the boy. She sat at that table with him every single day and to this day, I bet you she would still say the day she decided to sit with the new kid was the best decision she ever made.

She was the strongest person that I have ever met. The day she was diagnosed I cried more than she did and while she got the worst news of her life she had to comfort me, it was so backwards. Emily was just an amazing person and I miss her so much and it hurts like hell that she's gone.

She was always so positive, she never thought badly about anything, she saw the good in everything and everyone, I wish I could be like her. Emily used to tell me 'the sky is the limit' and now the sky is her point of view. We love you Em and you will never be forgotten, I promise I won't let that happen." I'm biting my lip trying not to break down into sobs. I walk away from the microphone and out of the room, I run outside to the curb while tears cloud my vision.

Calum...

"Emily used to tell me 'the sky is the limit' and now the sky is her point of view. We love you Em and you will never be forgotten, I promise I won't let that happen." Halley finishes.

I haven't cried this whole time because I was trying to be the strong one here. I knew Emily for a few years and she was a really nice girl, but then she broke my mate's heart. It doesn't mean I wanted her to die or even be hurt, it's just easier for me to be the strong one, but Halley's speech fucked up that whole plan because now I'm crying. I was already on the verge of crying because Micheal's speech and then he's over here sobbing into Ashton's chest, but Halley's speech just pused me past the breaking point I guess. She's sobbing, Melody's sobbing, Micheal's sobbing, and now I'm sobbing that's great. Halley walks out of the room and I hear the door to the building slam.

"I'm gonna go get her Luke." I say to the blonde boy that's comforting the sobbing Melody. For some reason Melody prefers Luke to me and Ash, which I don't really understand because usually kids take to Ashton the best because in reality he's just an overgrown kid still to this day.

I jog outside to find Halley sitting on the curb in the rain, I can tell she's  sobbing just by looking at her from twenty feet away. I remove my black jacket and put it over Halley's shoulders.

"You okay?" I asks sitting down next to her.

"N-no," she chokes out.

"C'mere," I say opening my arms. She sobs into my chest for a good five minutes while I just play with her hair and comfort her as best I can. "I wish I had a band-aid for your heart." I whisper.

"Y-you're a goof." she says wiping the tears from her eyes.

"It is what it is." I shrug. "We should go in before we get sick." I suggest.

"Y-yeah, sorry f-for g-getting your s-shirt w-wet." She stutters.

"Don't worry about that Halley. C'mon let's go." I put my arm around her shoulders letting her lean into my side and guiding her back inside.

"You okay Hal?" Luke asks.

"I'll be alright how's Mel?"

"She's asleep now, poor girl literally cried herself to sleep."

"It's rough." Halley mumbles "Where's Michael?"

"Bathroom I think." Luke replies. "That was a wonderful speech Halley."

"T-thank you." she hiccups.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up."

"Okay," Luke agreed.

Halley...

Looking in the bathroom mirror I look terrible, my face is pale, my eyes are red, my cheeks are sticky and tear stained, I just look bad. I'm glad I didn't wear make up because if I did I would look like a freaking raccoon, exactly why I didn't wear eye liner, mascara, or even eye shadow, I've learned from experience if you know you're going to cry do not wear make-up, it's just a bad idea. I comb my hands through my wet hair, the rain washed all of my hairspray out so now my hair is back to being straight with no volume what-so-ever, that sucks. I decide instead of letting it hang to just throw it up in a ponytail and call it a day. I rinse my face ridding my cheeks of the dry tears, so much for keeping it together for one more day. After wringing out my hair, and my dress as best as I could I head back out into the hall.

Right outside the door is a red eyed Michael leaning against the wall looking at the ceiling. "It hurts." He mumbles, "It fucking hurts."

"I know."

"I don't think you do. Emily was the love of my life, the mother of my daughter, my everything. I don't think you know how much this hurts."

"I was there the whole fucking time Michael from the time she was a tike to the moment she died I was by her side, so don't you dare tell me I don't know how this feels." I snap.

"My daughter is in the arms of another man sobbing because I can't keep it together. I'm her father, I'm supposed to protect her from everything and if I can't do that I should at least be able to fix it, but I can't. So no, you don't know how bad this fucking hurts." He spits.

"Michael I had to tell Melody four times that her mother might not make it through the night, I had to explain to Melody her mother was dying, I had to drag Melody away from Emily's bedside the night Emily had six lung tumors removed, I had to watch my best friend and my niece go through hell and back repetitively, for fucks sake I was Melody's father until two months ago. So you need to get over your self."

"I need to get over myself? Are you serious right now? You're the one that's telling me that you're going through more pain than everyone else."

"I never said that, I was just saying that you are not hurting the worst when you weren't even in Emily's life for six fucking years." I argue.

"That wasn't my fault, I didn't want Emily to leave."

"But you didn't stop her."

"I tried." He says. "Why did it have to be Emily? Why couldn't it have been someone like you? The world would be better off without one less bitch." He realizes what he just said and looks up at me which just enrages me more. "Halley I..." He starts but I cut him off.

"Why did Emily even love you? You don't even deserve to kiss the ground she walked on, you're a terrible person. I hate you Michael Clifford and so does Melody, don't you think if she actually thought of you as her father she would be sleeping on your chest and not Luke's, Emily only pitied you and disguised it as love. No one could actually love a person like you, you're a disgrace to all humanity." I spit.

Michael looks up at me with tears in his eyes and his jaw dropped to the floor, but somehow I don't feel anything but anger. "What the fuck Halley?" My head snaps to the end of the hall where I see Ashton standing.

"What? I thought he should know." I shrug.

"Michael was right you are a bitch."

"Thing is Ashton, I really don't care." He just shakes his head. I push past Ashton.

"Halley-- hey what's up you looked pissed?" Josh asks.

"I am."

"Why?"

"Oh you know my best friend just died, I'm soaking wet, and I was just told by my niece's dad that the world would be better off without a bitch like me, typical everyday stuff." I spit.

"What?" He asks out of shock.

"I'm going to the gas station." I say walking by and out to my car. Deep breaths Halley. Deep breaths. Don't do this now. Keep it together. No panic attacks, not today, not today.

this is a drama filled chapter like dayum. Who's side are you on right now? I'm kind of on Halley's side because that's probably exactly how I would've reacted, but I think she might have took it a little to far. I think Michael said some pretty douchey things though so I don't know its hard to pick a side because they were both in the wrong its really just the lesser of the two evils. Some more stuff goes down next chapter so be prepared.

oh and raise your hand if you cried on the eulogies. *Insert raised hand emoji here* I was in the car with my family and I was trying so hard not to cry because I didn't want to explain this to them and yeah.... It was bad any way Hope you liked it!

And this chapter is dedicated to @CrackCobain because her writing is so freaking good I cant even... ok anyways she is such an amazing author so if you haven't read her books you need to it is a necessity.