Maki

  There! Right There!
Look at that tan, well tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.  

Kaito

  I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.

  All
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically radically fey?

Kiibo

  But look at his coiffed and crispy locks. 

Maki

Look at his silk translucent socks. 

Kaito

  There's the eternal paradox.                                                                                                                                           Look what we're seeing.  

Maki

  What are we seeing? 

Kaito

Is he gay? 

Maki

Of course he's gay. 

Kaito

Or European?

  All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee                                                                                                                                                        Is he gay or European?   

Korekiyo

  Well, hey don't look at me.

Tsumugi

  You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.

  All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They both say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.

 Maki

 Oh please.  

  All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray  

Korekiyo

  Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.

  All:
Is he gay or European?
or  

Tenko

  There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.

  All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume  

Maki

  Is automatically-radically 

Kaito

Ironically chronically 

Tsumugi

Certainly pertin'tly 

Korekiyo

Genetically medically 

  All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY

DAMNIT!    

  Gay or European? 

Kaito

So stylish and relaxed. 

  All:

Is he gay or European?  

Kaito

  I think his chest is waxed.

Tsumugi

  But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.

  All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.

Kaede

  Yes his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.

  All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Miu

  But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday. 

All

  Is he gay or European?
gay or european?

Gay or Euro-

Kiibo

  Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.

I have an idea I'd like to try.

Kaito

The floor is yours. 

Kiibo

  So Mr. Saihara...

This alleged affair with Ms. Akamatsu has been going on for...?  

Shuichi

  2 years. 

Kiibo

And your first name again is...?

Shuichi

Shuichi

Kiibo

And your boyfriend's name is...?

Shuichi

Kokichi

All

*GASP*

 Shuichi

 I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.

I thought you say best friend. Kokichi is my best friend. 

Kokichi

  You bastard!

You lying bastard!

That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!

All

Woah!

Kokichi

and neither is disgrace

All

OH

 Kokichi

 you've got to stop your being  

a completely closet case.

All

AH

Kokichi

It's me not her he's seeing
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy band cabaret.  

Shuichi

  I'm straight! 

Kokichi

  You were not yesterday.

So if I may, I'm proud to say,                                                                                                                                        He's gay! 

  All:
And European!

Kokichi

  He's gay! 

  All:

And European! 

Kokichi

  He's gay! 

All:

And European and Gay! 

Shuichi

  Fine okay I'm gay! 

  All:

Hooray! 

I do not regret this :P