More and more cuts added to his body. Thin red lines ran down his skin, but he ignored them and soon let his pullover sink back to its original position. He wiped the blood off the blade with a cloth and put it back, then he went back to his room.

He did that often. Scars already marked his torso, but he was good at hiding them. Even for P.E., where they had to exchange clothing, Seiji simply undressed and dressed himself in the toilet. Hirato was wondering about that, but he didn't ask. Seiji didn't feel better through the cutting... just a slight bit. And he continued doing it, tho he hoped he could stop with that one day. The situation didn't change. Nothing changed at all. Seiji tried to not miss anything at school, but at home, he was just laying in his dark room, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression in his eyes... "Being alive... that's the issue here... I guess... I tried desperately to feel better... but instead... I just feel worse... if that's even possible... Isn't there a way out somewhere...?" he mumbled to himself.

In the same night, he was haunted by nightmares. He was sleeping anxiously, trembling in his sleep as suddenly, black marks drew all over his body. He felt a stunning pain, one that drilled itself in his sleep like a knife blade. He bolted awake and held his breath as he realized the pain wasn't just in his dream... it was real. He clawed his hand in his pullover. "What's this pain...? What... is this..." He held his breath, as suddenly, he saw the black markings on his hand. He screamed in shock. He stared at his hand like paralyzed. His body was still trembling and his eyes were wide open... At the next moment, the pain stopped and the marks faded. The door was torn open and Seiji's mother came into the room. "Seiji? Are you okay?!", "B-bad dream..." he replied. "...Sorry to have woken you up...", "Ouf... and I thought..." His mother patted his shoulder. "No, it's okay. Don't worry, Sei-chan. Try to sleep a little more, okay?" Seiji nodded without looking at her and lay down again. His mother left the room. Seiji tried to get some sleep, but he was unable to. He knew he didn't imagine the pain and the marks on his skin. His fantasy would never go to such strange outcomes. This had been real...

He had no success trying to sleep, so he got up from bed instead and sat down at the window- where he almost died from a second shock. His green eyes... seemed red in the window glass. He repressed a scream and stared at it for a while. "... What the heck..." Then, he stared outside. "...What a weird night... I'm really turning crazy..."

At the next day, he noticed he had dark rings under his eyes. Yeah, he slept badly. Who cared. He mumbled a 'Good morning' towards his parents without looking at them, had a short breakfast and then went to school, though he didn't really want to. But like shit he had a choice. Easiest exercise: Survive the school day. He had become master in that. More or less. So he survived the school day without great problems... until Satoru talked to him in a break. "Hey, zombie. Got nothin' to say today, huh? Are you now even too shy to open your mouth?" Seiji became angry at the very next moment and hissed: "I wish a tree would just hit you, so you finally SHUT your mouth." Satoru laughed. "Pffft, haha. Very funny, Aoi. Think that makes you appear tough, huh? But you just sound like an idiot." Something black appeared on Satoru's neck but before Seiji could look closer to it, Hirato interrupted them. "Piss of, Satoru, mind your own business and leave Seiji alone. You got better things to do, am I right?" Satoru smiled. "Sure. Just wanted to say 'Hello' to Seiji. Is that bad?", "Absolutely not, as long as it stays with the 'hello'." Satoru turned around and went away. Seiji looked at him. "I look terrible, don't I?", "Yeah, you do. Say, are you wearing contact lenses?", "Hm? What?", "Your eyes are red. They used to be green.", "U-uh... y-yeah." Seiji nodded quickly. "I thought... it's cool.", "It IS cool." Hirato grinned. Seiji didn't listen. What the fuck? My eyes really are red? I thought... I just... but... how? They don't just change color outta nowhere, do they...? I don't the fuck get what's going on... He rested his chin on his hand. Weird...

After school, he quickly grabbed his back and walked down the stairs in hope to escape the bullies but that was wasted energy. Satoru followed him. And at the school yard, he made it up to Seiji. "Hey, Aoi, why so hasty?", "Leave me alone.", "Why? I'd looove to stay and chat with you." Seiji stopped walking and looked at him. "...insult me it is, I guess.", "Insult you? Never. Just saying the truth. Sweet girly Aoi." Satoru laughed. At that moment, Seiji's eyes widened as the oak tree they were standing near to strongly bend, cracked and fell down. Satoru noticed the shadow of the tree becoming bigger and he looked up. "What the f-" The next moment, the tree hit him and buried him underneath. Seiji held a hand in front of his mouth. "...?!" He shrank back and stared at the tree. Satoru was laying underneath it, blood spread on the ground. Seiji's heart was beating like hell and the blood rushed in his ears. This couldn't have happened... That must've been a great coincidence... He wished Satoru to die being buried under a tree. And that was exactly what had happened. That couldn't be. Seiji remained motionless for some moments before he ran away as fast as he could. Over the street. Away. His thoughts where going crazy inside his head and he breathed heavily. His lung was going to burst any moment. This is not my fault. This is not my fault. It can't be my fault. I don't have anything to do with it. It's coincidence. It's not my fault. He kept running until he arrived at home, quickly unlocked the door and dove inside his bed. He hid under the blanket. What he saw a moment ago... it was still haunting him when he closed his eyes... He could clearly see it. The tree that slowly fell. Satoru that looked up in surprise. The tree that hit him and buried him underneath. The blood that spread like a scarlet puddle... Whether his eyes were open or closed, all he could see was this terrible scene. Again and again. Like a movie on infinity loop, repeating itself over and over again. He heard himself wishing Satoru to die again. Every word, crystal clear. ... It's my fault...