River logged on

River: Rose, remind me to kill the Doctor. Again.

Rose: Why? What'd he say?

River: He's not sure who he likes more... -_-

Rose: *Smiles smugly* That's what I thought.

River: I have no problem with killing this time around.

Rose: You've killed him before?!

River: It's not like I had a choice... Why am I telling this to you? You and your human mind wouldn't be able to understand.

Rose: You're as human as I!

River: Keep telling yourself that, sweetie. I'm a Timelord.

Rose: How?! He said he was the last one!

River: Oh, he was. I'm half human, half Timelord.

Rose: So... You're his daughter...? Ew!

River: Leave it to you to think of that. No, I'm not his daughter. I'm technically a daughter of the TARDIS, it gave me early access to artron energy and made me part Timelord.

Rose: I'm confused.

River: You're only human.

Rose: -_-

11 has been forced to join chat by Rose

11: What now? I'm busy!

Rose: Explain. Now.

11: Explain what?

Rose: Who is River?

River: Yes. Who am I?

11: Well, you see... *Runs away screaming*

11 has logged off in fear

River: Sorry, Sweetie. Not happening. TARDIS dear, can you send him back?

11 has been forced to join chat by TARDIS

11: You're always choosing sides...

River: Now, answer the question.

11: I'm protecting my younger self. If I answer that question, I won't live to meet you, River...

River: Flattery will get you nowhere right now.

11: You're my wife...

Rose: I thought you loved me!

11: I never said that I loved you...

River: That's better.

11: If I cease to exist, I blame River...

Unknown has joined the chat

Unknown: It's lovely to see you again, Doctor.

11: Umm...? Do I know you?

Unknown: of course you do, dear.

Unknown has changed her name to Susan's Gran

Susan's Gran: better?

11: ... Oh. I'll just be over there attempting to stay away from mass murder...

Susan's Gran: Oh bother. You okay, dear?

River: Hang on. Who are you?

Susan's Gran: I'm his wife.

11: *Gulps*

River: Doctor. Explain.

11: Well, you see... Spoilers...

Susan's Gran: I'm confused. Who is River?

River: I'm his wife.

Susan's Gran: What?!

11: I really wish I could explain the situation, but it hasn't happened to you yet... Thankfully.

Susan's Gran: What? You got bored of me, and left?

Rose: *Snickers* Oh, Doctor. You're in trouble.

11: No! I would never. Umm... This is really complicated...

Susan's Gran: Maybe a less childish version of you would be willing to explain. Oh, Doctor!

11: I'm not childish!

River: I have to agree with her.

Susan's Gran: Thank you.

12 has logged on

12: Oh. I remember this. Mostly. Yes, dear?

Susan's Gran: Thank you. Why have you left me?

12: You see... I... Outlive you....

11: You could be a bit more gentle...

12: It was that or leave you to permanently ignore the question.

Susan's Gran: You... I...? *Cries*

11: See what you've done?

Susan's Gran: Alright. I can forgive you. I suppose.

11: I get to live! :D

12: You're an idiot.

Susan's Gran: You just got home! I'll see you in a few!

Susan's Gran has logged off

Rose: Well, that's fine. The better Doctor just asked if I wanted to see home. After that situation with the people trapping artist, I think I could use it. See you. Traitor.

Rose has logged off

11: Well, that's one way for her to remember me...

River: Is this when she... You know?

11: Yeah...

River: I would be sorry if she wasn't so rude

River has logged off

11 has logged off

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I honestly meant for that to be much more funny. That got dark. I sometimes wonder why my mind works in the way it does... Can I get even darker for a moment? The Doctor was never worried about being ginger until New Who (a.k.a After the Time War.) What if his wife was ginger and being ginger was the only way he could remember her?