Monday, October 29th

     Jesse was dressed warm, and in black. Loek lent him a beanie in black because the temperature dropped and was now close to freezing point. While they walked their way to a new spot for graffiti art, they were silent.

Jesse didn't really know what it was that caused them to be silent. Even after they had slept together, they had decent conversations. But that night, there was something in the air. Some sort of tension.

Loek was way too silent compared to how Jesse knew him, and he seemed deep in thought for most of the evening. It came as a surprise to Jesse that Loek had asked him if he wanted to go out at night again.

During their silent walk, Jesse had time to think, and by the time they arrived at Loek's suggested spot, Jesse had an idea about what was going on.

Loek had previously told him he used graffiti as a distraction, as an extension to his therapy. Which caused Jesse to believe it wasn't such a coincidence for Loek to ask him to go out this particular evening, during which he was more silent than ever.

Something could be bothering him, and Jesse was unsure if he should ask Loek about it. He didn't want to seem nosy, but he surely didn't want to come across as uninterested either. Because he already concluded he was very much interested in Loek.

"Hey..." he started off, while he followed Loek through a fence that was cut open at one place. It looked like someone had tried to fix it, but that hadn't stopped others from going through either. "Is something bothering you?"

"No."

"Oh, okay..." Jesse wasn't convinced. He wasn't convinced at all. Loek's answer had been abrupt and a bit angry. Something was definitely up with Loek, and his denial had only confirmed that Jesse was right.

But Loek obviously didn't want to talk about it, and Jesse wasn't the obvious prying type. He felt like he needed to steer the conversation in a certain direction in a subtle way. He wanted to get Loek to talk even if he didn't want to.

One way to try was to tell Loek something about himself. Something that bothered him. Sharing is caring, right?

"So, I hung out with Axel most of the day," he started telling Loek, who had already put on a mask, and grabbed a few spray cans. "Calix has different classes on Monday mostly, but he was there whenever he could."

"That's good," Loek answered, his words muffled by his mask.

"They really try to be great friends, but it's... I don't know, different. I didn't want things to change, and it still did." Jesse sat down. He wasn't here to make graffiti art. He was here because Loek asked him to join and he didn't mind spending some alone time with him.

"They'll get used to it soon enough, and then everything will be back to normal." Loek's replies sounded... as if he didn't really care. Jesse knew he cared, it just didn't come out the right way.

"But everything is different, isn't it? I live with you guys because my parents don't want me anymore. I broke up with Yoni after being together for over three years. My best friends know I'm gay and it's only a matter of time before they'll try and be my wingmen..." Jesse took in a deep breath and waited for Loek to turn around and look at him. "Not that I think I need one." He offered Loek a shy smile, trying to tell him that he didn't mind sleeping with him more often.

On the contrary, Jesse really hoped they would.

Loek shortly took off his mask and smiled back. "I don't know if you need one. But if it's up to me, they don't have to be your wingmen."

"But the rest is still different, it all changed," Jesse repeated on purpose. "I know you deal with bad things by making awesome graffiti art. I should find myself something that distracts me whenever something's bothering me..."

"I know what you're doing, Jesse," Loek replied with a tired voice. "If you want to know so badly, our sister contacted Mees and me. I haven't seen her in two years or something, so you can probably guess why she contacted us."

"Eh..." Jesse scratches his head. "About family related stuff?"

Loek nodded and focussed back on the painting he started.

For a while, they were both silent, while Jesse observed Loek while he was spraying colours onto a freshly painted wall. Jesse figured there had been artworks on the same wall before.

When Jesse was under the impression Loek wasn't going to elaborate, he bit his lip and then opened his mouth to ask, "Was it bad news?"

"I'm not sure," Loek answered, and he sounded genuine and honest. "I never really explained a lot. But it was Mom who kicked me out. Dad tried to reason with her, but to no avail."

"Oh, well, it's good that he tried, right?"

"It was a weak half-assed attempt to look like a good parent, but when I was gone, I never heard from him again. So much for wanting me in his life," Loek grumbled, and he stepped back from the wall to take a better look at his work. "Anyway, that's not the point. Mom kicked me out and the rest is history."

"You've never seen them after that, and it's been about two years already."

Loek nodded again, shortly turning his head to stare back at Jesse. "Pleun, our sister, called to tell us mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's."

"Oh, shit," Jesse's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't see that coming. "How bad is it right now?"

"She's been asking them about me. She's at that stage where she forgets I got kicked out. Pleun wants me to come home to make things less confusing for our mother."

"But you don't want to go home."

"No, I don't."

"Because she kicked you out and nothing can make up for that?"

"That too, but it's not the main reason," Loek said, while he shook his head and lowered the spray can he was using before he turned to face him again. "I don't want to go home, because it's four hours away from here."

"Are you afraid you'll miss Mees? Wouldn't he go home too?"

Loek shook his head again. "No, it's because you're here, not there."

Jesse didn't know how to reply to Loek, so he just blushed while looking at his feet. Loek turned back to his graffiti, and for a while, they stayed silent.

Eventually, Loek gave him a few spray cans and encouraged him to help him with his painting. Jesse knew he was going to ruin it since he just wasn't that good at it, but Loek insisted.

Which was why both Jesse and Loek were holding spray cans at the moment a flashlight lighted them up from behind. They had both turned around in surprise, dropped their cans, and ran to the other side of the garden, running through the bushes with Loek in the lead. He showed Jesse another way out of the garden, but it required them to jump over a ditch filled with water.

Loek threw the backpack ahead, and in a sprint made a jump to the other side. Jesse, however, hesitated whether he could make it, landing on the bank of the ditch, twisting his ankle in the process.

"Fuck!" Jesse hissed, pushing himself up. He wanted to run after Loek, but his ankle started stinging and he hobbled through the field, knowing he couldn't run any further by himself.

"Loek!" he called after him, trying to alert him he couldn't run without some support. Loek turned in the exact moment Jesse felt someone grab onto his hoodie. Loek's eyes went wide, he seemed hesitant, and then he decided to turn away and run away.

Jesse stared after him in shock, feeling both betrayed and devastated that Loek had left him behind. It stung, and Jesse's shoulders slumped down in defeat.

     "You got arrested!?" Felipe yelled at Jesse while they were in the living room. He was frantically pacing up and down, while Jesse's mother nervously watched from the door opening.

After Jesse was caught, the police had taken him to the police station and put him through an hour-long interrogation as soon as his parents had arrived. Felipe had refused to sit with him during the interrogation, but his mom had agreed to be present.

They had asked Jesse who his friend was, and even though Loek had left him behind, Jesse had given them a false name. He wasn't going to rat Loek out just because he didn't help him. Not that he wasn't angry or didn't feel betrayed.

They had explained to him what was going to happen—he would probably get community service—and a note on his record. Since he was 17, he wouldn't get a permanent record, and if he didn't step out of line again until he was 18, the notation would be erased.

But they said he was probably going to get community service in the form of cleaning up graffiti all over town.

Since there was no tag on the graffiti yet, they weren't able to link different art-pieces to his name, and that made him a first-time offender. Which meant he wasn't going to get heavily punished. They scheduled a conversation with someone to decide on his punishment the next day, and then he was released.

Left to the mercy of his parents.

For a few seconds, Jesse had hoped they would just leave him behind in the parking lot, but then his mother had firmly told him to get in the car.

"We don't hear from you in two weeks, and then this!?" Felipe turned to look at him, while Jesse tried to make himself as small as possible. "Is this what you did in the meantime?"

Jesse swallowed, and tried to read the situation to the best of his abilities. He felt safer not to answer, though he thought wrong.

Seconds later, Felipe started yelling again. "Answer me!"

"No, it was one time..." Jesse weakly answered, shaking with nerves and fear.

"Of course it was," Felipe mockingly answered. "Or did you just not get caught?"

"No, it was the first..."

"Stop lying," Felipe walked over to him, towering over him with anger seeping from every pore of his body. "You're nothing but a lowlife, pathetic excuse for a human."

"Felipe..." his mother sounded as if she was warning him, but as soon as Felipe swirled around on his feet to look at her, she made herself smaller, and hurried out of the room.

"Things are going to change around here," Felipe yelled after her. "And we'll start with disciplining those who refuse to listen," Felipe raised a fist, and Jesse covered his face with his arms, ducking out of his way, his fist missing him by an inch.

He had jumped up and tried to run away yet again, but as soon as he placed weight on his left ankle, he sank to the floor, wailing over the pain. He had grabbed his ankle, offering Felipe a clear shot at his face, hitting him on his temple.

Jesse protected his face from more blows, trying to stay silent as much as possible while Felipe hit him a few more times. After a few seconds, Jesse cried out, and footsteps sounded on the stairs, hurrying downstairs.

"What the hell is going on? I'm trying to sleep!" Gregory sounded annoyed most of all, but fell silent when he entered the living room.

"Go to bed," Felipe ordered him, but Gregory wouldn't have any of it, and he hurried to stand between Jesse and his father.

"If you touch him one more time..."

Jesse didn't stay around to hear their discussion. He crawled out of the living room while the two hotheads yelled at each other and fled out of the front door.

It was better not to stay at home, even if he wasn't planning on going back to Loek. Instead, he decided to head over to Calix. He needed help, and Calix was one of the few people he felt comfortable enough with to tell the truth.

He called Calix, waking him up in the middle of the night. He was a bit annoyed, but as soon as he picked up, Jesse started crying, and Calix forgot about the time. He came to pick him up by bike, and as soon as he showed up, Jesse took in a deep breath—trying to stay calm—and told him, "I haven't told you everything yet."