Saturday, October 27th

     Even while Jesse knew Axel and Calix were still his friends, going to a public place scared the shit out of him anyway. Calix and Axel had assured him that they hadn't told anyone else about his sexuality. But people knew about Yoni and Donna, since Axel had been incapable of holding his anger in. He confronted Donna about her dating Yoni in front of half the school.

Which was one of the reasons Jesse was nervous. People knew Yoni and Donna were going on a date, and that would probably lead to questions about his relationship with Yoni.

He could tell people he knew, but he had no explanation as to why they were still together.

Well, no explanation without telling them he was fine with her dating a girl because he was gay himself.

What a mess it was.

"Just tell them it's none of their business," Loek said, while they were heading over to Yoni together.

They weren't visiting her for a fun talk. No, Jesse had texted Yoni the typical 'we need to talk' message, and the only reply he got was 'I agree'. Well, that, and another text asking him if he could meet her at home. Loek, Calix and Axel had agreed to drop him off, before heading over towards Gringo's. Apparently, Loek was free for the night.

And it did make sense that Loek was going out with their group of friends, since most of them were in their soccer team too, just like Loek.

"I know it's none of their business," Jesse replied with a sigh. "But now that Axel and Calix know about me, I kind of just want the whole coming out thing over with, if that makes sense?

"Yeah, it does. It feels liberating, doesn't it?" Loek smiled, and Jesse nodded in reply. He did feel liberated now that Calix and Axel knew practically everything about him, and they still wanted to be friends.

And suddenly, he wondered if they knew about Loek, and if the rest of their friends knew too.

"So, do they know... about you?" Jesse turned his head to look at Loek, after he made sure Axel and Calix were far enough behind not to hear his question.

"Calix and Axel, do, yes. I told them what was going on, how we met. You know, they wanted to know why you were staying with me."

"Oh, that makes sense." Jesse nodded along with his words, slowing down his bike when Yoni's house came into view. "So, where do we meet tonight?"

"Your call. Do you want to see the rest of your friends?" Loek slowed his bike too and smiled warmly at him. "Just text me if you're not willing to go to Gringo's, and I'll come out so we can head over to Unity together."

"Sounds good, but I think I'll go to Gringo's anyway. Can't keep hiding forever, and I'd rather have them ask things while drunk, so they might forget half of my answers."

Loek laughed, and shook his head in disbelief. "Well, let me know," he repeated when Jesse stopped in front of the driveway.

"I will, thanks."

"Good luck," Calix told him when they caught up with them. "Remember, she isn't mad or anything."

"I know." Jesse smiled weakly. "See you at Gringo's."

They said their goodbyes, and Jesse walked up the driveway to place his bike in the shed. Yoni already opened the backdoor, and smiled at him unsurely.

"Hey," Jesse greeted her, and just because they were used to it, they kissed each other on the lips.

"Good to see you again. I was worried."

"I was scared, so I kept quiet for a few days to figure things out," Jesse admitted shyly. "But I think I've figured out what I want."

"Yeah, I have been thinking too..." Yoni took his hand in hers. "Let's talk in my room."

"Sure." Jesse nodded, and followed her through the house. A quick hi to her parents was enough for them, and they headed upstairs. Yoni instantly sat down on her bed, and Jesse followed her example. It was silent, it was awkward, until Yoni spoke up.

"We should break up," she told him with a sad look on her face.

"Yeah, that might be best."

"I mean, everyone in school knows about Donna and me, and they've been asking me about you the whole week already. They think you stayed home because you felt betrayed. Axel tried to convince people you knew, but people didn't believe him so they're kind of angry at me."

"I'll be in school again on Monday, and then I'll tell everyone I knew, and I support you," Jesse tried to comfort her. And he expected her next question.

"But why would you stay with me if you knew about me and Donna, and not have a reason yourself? I mean, without telling them why we stayed together."

"Well, that's what I've figured out. Now that Calix and Axel know, I'm ready to come out. They support me, and with you and them on my side I don't care about the rest."

"That's... brave." Yoni smiled, and it seemed genuine. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I figured it's the best way to show you my support too. Now that you're out, I'll come out too. We'll do it together."

"Jesse, if you want to come out, I'll support you. But you don't have to do it for me. Gay guys get more shit than lesbians."

"I know, but like I said, Calix and Axel support me, you do, Donna does, and that's all I need."

"And Loek. Don't forget Loek."

Jesse grinned sheepishly, agreeing with a nod.

Yes, and Loek too. And somehow, his support mattered the world to Jesse, and not just because he took him into his home when he was homeless. Somehow, in the past two weeks, Jesse had grown fond of him, more than he had in years with other friends.

No, Loek was special.

     It was easier said than done to come out to your friends. While Jesse had been adamant about showing Yoni his support by coming out himself, he wasn't so sure as soon as they stood in front of Gringo's.

"I don't want to go in," Jesse admitted, forcing out the words. "It's too soon."

"Then we don't." Yoni's reply was simple, and she squeezed his hand while smiling at him. "I'll go in, get Donna and we'll go to Unity."

"Loek is in here too, and I kind of want him to go with us to Unity," Jesse mumbled while a blush crept onto his face. He didn't know why he felt shy whenever he admitted he wanted Loek around.

"I'll take him with me too." Yoni pecked a quick kiss on his cheek before she went in to get their friends. And while Jesse was waiting outside, Calix showed up with Axel.

"Hey, you okay?" Calix asked with a worried frown. "You're not coming in?"

Jesse shook his head as an answer. His throat was dry, and he was scared that more friends would follow Calix and Axel outside. He really didn't want to see anyone yet.

"How did the conversation with Yoni go?" Axel asked curiously, offering Jesse a cigarette.

"We broke up, it was the only option," Jesse mumbled with the cigarette between his lips. He lighted it, and then looked up at his friends. "I'm going to Unity with Yoni and all. I just want to have fun while being myself."

Calix nodded, biting his lip. He was visibly feeling awkward, and Jesse figured it would take a while before they were used to the idea. Even if Calix already said he was used to it. No one would be able to accept and get used to the idea that fast. Even if Calix really wanted to support Jesse.

And it was fine, Jesse understood. He had taken months before he got used to the idea of being gay himself. Let alone Calix acting normal despite his crush on him.

"Just know that we're here for you, okay?" Axel forced a smile on his face, but Jesse could tell he was having a hard time smiling. And it made sense, since he just found out his ex was a lesbian and Jesse had kept it a secret for two weeks. But at least he was trying, and that mattered most.

"I know," Jesse answered with a genuine smile. "I'm glad it's out, I mean, to you guys. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"Good, I hope you won't feel the need to hide things from us any longer." Calix nudged him with his elbow, before the three of them turned around when Yoni appeared in their peripheral vision.

"We're good to go," she announced while Loek and Donna joined the little group.

"Have fun," Calix said, smiling at Jesse. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Sure," Jesse nodded, unsure what they would be talking about. But in that moment, he didn't care to ask, because he noticed Simon and Pete appearing outside. "Let's go, before they start interrogating me." He grabbed Yoni's hand and pulled her along with him while he left to go to Unity.

Loek and Donna followed, and Jesse ordered them a round of drinks as soon as they were inside Unity.

And inside, Jesse felt as if he could breathe again. This place was where he felt most accepted. Where he could do whatever he wanted without feeling weird or shy.

"I understood you and Yoni broke up?" Loek asked, his eyes following Yoni and Donna on the dancefloor, talking to two other girls with a drink in their hand.

"Yes, there's no reason to keep the fake relationship going if people already know about Yoni." Jesse shrugged, and turned to Loek, smiling. "Guess I'm single again. Which feels weird because I haven't been single in over three years."

"I'd say, enjoy yourself while you can." Loek winked and drank the rest of his beer before he offered Jesse a hand. When Jesse placed his hand in Loek's, the other boy pulled him towards the dancefloor.

Loek was a great dancer, while Jesse was not. He was a bit awkward in his dancing since he didn't really like dancing that much. But with Loek as his guide, he turned out to be pretty decent.

Loek was known for acting goofy in the club—Jesse had learned that last week—and soon they were surrounded by people watching them, or dancing with them. Jesse was having fun. He kept smiling because of Loek, and he was actually laughing over some of his weird moves.

Jesse felt good, liberated, entertained, happy. All of it and more.

And it only got better when Loek was done dancing, and kissed him gently on his lips. Like the week before, Loek had a mischievous look in his eyes, and Jesse couldn't resist his smile, his kiss, his touches.

While Loek slid a hand around his waist, Jesse placed one of his hands on the back of his head to keep him close, while Loek deepened the kiss during a slow number. They were kissing and slowly moving around, but Jesse didn't focus on 'dancing' or the music. Jesse's mind was fully occupied with kissing Loek, and being as close to him as possible.

"Jesse?" Loek nearly moaned into his mouth. "Either we stop this now, or we take this home." He sounded as if he was struggling with something, and Jesse knew all too well what he was struggling with. Jesse wanted to go home with him so badly and get rid of the sexual frustration that was building up inside him. On the other side, he didn't want to just use Loek for it while he was in love with Calix.

He really didn't want to hurt Loek.

"I... can't..." Jesse answered in between kissing. "I don't want to..."

"Hurt me?" Loek pulled back, sending him a smirk. "You won't, I know your heart lies somewhere else."

Jesse swallowed before biting his lip. Yes, his heart was all about Calix. But his head—and body—were screaming for Loek.

And Loek spotted the doubt, the internal battle, and grabbed his face with both hands. "Let's go home," he whispered, right before he silenced Jesse with another kiss.

And when Jesse didn't break the kiss, Loek figured he agreed. Besides, yet again, Jesse was curious. Too curious about Loek to say no. His body and mind wanted it, his curiosity was reaching an all-time high.

Which was why Jesse allowed Loek to grab his hand and drag him outside, to their bikes, to go home and 'have some fun'.