A/n: Lil trigger warning

"Let me come with you Y/n!"

"Mey-rin, you're not a child you did it you clean it, and don't forget to reload the rifles on the roof."

"You grow more like Sebastian everyday yes you do. I find it cute." She giggled, everyone including the Lady Elizabeth knew of your "marriage" to Sebastian while you were away. At least that's what they assumed after becoming sad that they didn't attend.

"Don't ruin my day," you said she giggled again and got to cleaning her mess.

After last night Baron Kelvin's estate appeared in the paper the next morning you knew what happened. Both Kelvin and Joker perished along with the other children and your Alfred, they were beyond help, better off dead. Everyone burned in a fire that swept that piece of land off the map. The Phantomhive manor however was spotless in time for the head of the household's return, you didn't want to even hear Sebastian's voice so you decided to go into town to stock back up on food supplies since the kitchen had sort of been blown to bits.

Not a lot of things were needed since Finny grew most things from herbs to vegetables in the garden. You were in and out of the little shop run by an Italian man. Taking your time walking to get back to the manor instead of taking a carriage turned out to be the most devastating foolish decision you've ever made. Either this man took you for a prostitute or just didn't care.

"Doll, c'mere for a second." He called after you. You ignored him, grabbing your knife if he tried something. Unfortunately he did, and unfortunately he was ready. "Ah ah ah doll, I know you. I have my orders to take you in, unspoiled at that," he licked his lips eyeing you up and down. Dragging you down an alley away from civil society, you struggled but he was a bit on the unnaturally strong side. Nothing wrong with that not like you haven't dealt with people stronger than you.

You were pressed against the wall with little space between you. The stench of alcohol on his breath, how revolting, yet the Italian mafia judges the British for drinking too much tea.

Click

"Now let's see who's left here the ground bleeding." You put your gun up to the man's head. "You think that little gun can scare me? I can make that an easy miss." He smirked down at you. What do you do? Grab his throat with your other hand pulling him closer to your face and shoved your gun in a place where if it went off he'd have no way to make children. "Can it miss now?"

His eyes widened in fear, "B-boys!"

Well there went your cocky attitude. There were too many.

'What the hell is this a brothel?'

"Hah, not so cocky now are you?"

"They take one step you won't be so cocky either." He wrestled the gun from you and tossed it to the side of the road, turning you around and smashing you chest first into the wall. You tried pushing yourself against the wall to drive him off but the others piled near shoving their hands anywhere they could grab. A few of them were bringing up your skirt to your hips groping your bare thighs. Tears stinged your eyes as you tried your best to use your half demonic strength to get them off. "What do we have here?" They all stopped abruptly as tears of relief streamed down your face. Never have you ever been so relieved to hear your husband's voice. "Oh look someone discarded a toy here would be a shame if some maniac picked it up right?"

"Oi! Get him!"

You closed your eyes and counted down

Three

Two

One

Splat

One head made one with the ground. Another splat, another one off to meet their maker. It kept going until the last one left standing was their ring leader, still holding you harshly against the wall. His grip tightened as Sebastian's polished shoes clicked on the pavement. "Ah ahh!" Sebastian literally peeled him off of you snapping his neck, the thud of his body told you it was over now. "Close your eyes and walk towards my voice Y/n." Turning around you closed your eyes and took a step in something wet... blood, just like the day you saw him coming out of that burning building you were held captive in. You ran just like that day only into the safety of his arms this time, he draped his tailcoat over your shoulders for your clothes had been badly torn up. He picked up your crying frightened figure and you buried your head in his chest. "I don't know why I was scared."

"Shhh it's okay to be scared once in a while," he cooed. "But I will always be here for you, no matter how far you think I am, I'm watching over you. No matter how screwed we may become I will never abandon you." He kissed your temple the only visible part of your face you couldn't hide at the moment. "Come now let's go home. I'll fix you a cup of tea, and we'll talk."

"The groceries-" you sniffed looking back at the scene blood, bodies, organs, clothes, all slathered across the pavement making you sick to your stomach. He shoved your head back into his chest, "That is no scene for a lady to look at, much less my lady. You're too stubborn forget the groceries."

~

Back at the manor, Sebastian sat you down in your bed with a piping hot cup of herbal tea and wrapped a blanket around you and drew you in. "Chamomile, good for relaxing," he said smartly petting your hair. After a comforting silence he spoke, "About the gloves."

"I know, I'm not stupid. Seduce her for information.. but why?"

"Bloody reaper. I offer him a deal that would benefit only him and he still turned it down. You know the orders I had but he remained a thorn in my side. I had no choice."

"You could've slipped away once out of his grasp-"

"And have him tail me every second and get in my way? You know I have no choice but to prioritize my orders. I even have an order saying not to let our relationship to get in the way of my duty surely you remember?"

...No way around that.

"I know the contract, so for that and only that I forgive you. Next time, tell me. Don't even give me the opportunity to find out." You buried your head in his chest just wanting his comfort. "Now what of this Alfred? You were hysterical at the sight of him."

"Not much to tell. I was like Baron Kelvin once," you shrugged your shoulders.

"A philanthropist? "

"Not quite. I just helped where I can, children mainly. Since no one wanted a woman with no family or references working for them I earned wages from random gangs for doing their dirty work, most of the money went to whatever child I ran into that day. Then one day this one boy knew where to find me every single time. Whether I was walking around or going to do a job. A young child full of wit and eagerness in his eyes, I couldn't resist, I took him under my wing and kept him close. Sent him off to do things when I had jobs to take care of. But being the child that he was, curious about where I was getting the money he figured it out himself and so did who I was working for. They ordered me to kill him since he could potentially rat them out, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So escaping was our only option and I had to let him go. I could take care of myself but could he? Day after day I feared they'd find him and then we found him there, practically dead. That was a replica of the place where you met the young lord wasn't it?"

"Yes," he said looking up. "So, he wanted sacrifices to recreate that night. Not to summon a demon, just his own sick agenda," you pursed your lips nearly breaking the porcelain cup in your hand with your grip.

"I doubt that would even stir any demon's attention. I also doubt he knew what the ceremony was for. Always ignorant of what you do, humans are so-"

"I don't think you should be judging humans at the moment," you said obviously still mad and hurt by what he did, forgive and forget did not work in this situation.

He sighed looking at you, "Fair enough." He took the empty cup of tea from your hands with his slender fingers and placed it on the desk. "I'll ask the young lord for-"

"No, let me work today. Just... keep me busy. Preferably let me stay with you," you muttered the last part under your breath. "Alright, come along," he whispered sweetly helping you up, your blanket falling to the bed. You went to the young lord first in his study to see what he needed before Sebastian started his work. All that was to do was order a carriage to go to Buckingham Palace tomorrow for his visit to the Queen and for his attire to be ready, other than that he buried himself in his papers requesting solitude. The both of you went down to the kitchen while everyone else was outside taking a break, you heard their little shouts of joy through the cracked window of the newly built wall from where Finny smashed. You reached up closing the window, silence was greatly preferred by you at the moment. You sat on the stone cold floor swaying side to side while he prepared for dinner. "Don't look, I'm cutting onions."

"Do you cry when cutting onions?" You asked and giggled. He scoffed at you, "What do you think?"

"Wow. Sebastian Michaelis, the one thing that can bring him to tears are big bad onions," you sniggered.

"As if," he responded in a tone fit for a whiney brat. You laughed and started humming. The scent of cooking filled your nose making your stomach growl with hunger. God you were hungry. You felt Sebastian standing over you, bending so his hair was just visible if you looked forward. Looking up he had his hand extended. Taking it he pulled you up and started dancing, humming his own entrancing tune.

"Bach, Chaconne in D minor? A hard piece to hum." He said nothing but continued gracefully pulling you along, lifting your heavy heart. The world didn't matter now, all your worries were taken care of once you were in his arms again, the only thing you dreaded was when he would stop. "Between you and I," he whispered softly, the tune continuing in your head as his velvety voice spoke. "I will always try my best to find a different way. I swear it," you both turned on your heels and he stopped still holding one hand now on his knee, bowing. One hand over his chest.

"I will hold you to that."

He stood up and pulled you in for a kiss, "Of course you will." He held you by your waist flipping the meat over in the pan with his free hand. Then he said loudly, "It's rude to interrupt a married couple's alone time." You glanced towards Mey-rin, Finny, Bard and Tanaka peeping in the kitchen. They scurried away in fear of being reprimanded. You kissed him deeply smiling on the inside. He had made you a plate of food but you couldn't stomach it, rather than having you starve he periodically made you tea.

You spent the rest of the day by his side, rarely venturing off to do your own thing, he even gave you a bath and tucked you into bed.

"I love you Sebastian," you said knowing he wasn't going to say it back, but he smiled. It's a start.