彡

dan howell bit his lip, his bright chocolate eyes flickering over his surroundings. he toyed with the hem of his yellow sweatshirt, his brows furrowing, leaning against his boyfriend's red corvette.

i miss the ocean
and i know it's weird to say
i grew up there moved to la

this wasn't what he wanted. he didn't want phil to protect him, and he definitely didn't want mau to. he hadn't even gotten the full story; what were they even fighting over? him?

his heart pounded in his chest and he suddenly felt incredibly selfish, of course they weren't fighting over him. before this year, no one would have even offered him a second glance.

his stomached panged. phil was right about that part at least. before he had come to this school, dan hadn't gotten a bit of attention.

and it's all because i dreamt of you and woke up alone

"you okay, babe?" a hand touched his shoulder and dan flinched, tugging his headphone out of his ear, the sound of blackbear's somewhat soothing voice fading away.

"um." he ran his fingers through his messy hair. "i guess. do you really have to do this?"

"of course i do."

"but why?" dan resisted the urge to stomp his foot like a toddler and pout like hell, instead locking his fingers together behind his back. "what did he even do? why is no one telling me anything?"

"don't worry about it." his voice was a bit heavy, almost a warning for dan to keep his distance. both physically and emotionally. "just know that he's a dick, and he deserves it."

"i'm not denying he's a dick-" dan's eyes paused from glancing around the parking lot when they landed on a hooded figure. "but i still don't like fighting."

the hoodie the person was wearing was blue, a dark blue, and it was covered in splatters of paint, in almost every color. definitely phil.

he looked up, pulling his hoodie off of his head, his hair messy as if he hadn't gotten much sleep, or maybe he hadn't showered that morning. either way, he looked undeniably attractive.

"well," mau said roughly. "he's here."

dan nodded slowly, examining phil as closely as he could without the blue eyed boy noticing. he was also wearing ripped up black jeans, and completely black converse. he rolled up his sleeves, and dan could see what looked like leather gloves, missing the fingers.

they were fighting gloves, the kind you used to hit a punching bag without destroying your hands. dan had seen phil wearing them before, but now it seemed more... genuinely terrifying.

dan pushed his hands back in the sleeves of his sweatshirt, as a kind of protection, although it occurred to him that sweater paws weren't exactly helping the situation much.

phil was moving towards them, and before dan could even think of what to say or do, he was there.

"hey," he said nonchalantly, breezily, even. dan hated him. "we still doing this?"

mau nodded stonily, and dan let out a tiny sigh. boys are so stupid.

"cool." phil cracked his knuckles, his thin lips curling into a smirk. "can i talk to dan for a second? or are you still not letting him talk to other boys, because you can't keep a fucking boyfriend?"

mau visibly flinched, and dan bit his lip to keep himself from laughing.

"no," he growled, crossing his arms over his chest. "you can't talk to him."

dan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "sure phil," he said, tight lipped. "let's chat."

he stepped forward, grabbing phil by the sleeve and tugging him away pointedly, glancing back to glare at mau. you could say a lot about dan howell, a pushover being one of them, but he was nobodies slave.

"what do you want," he muttered when they were out of ear shot of a grumpy looking mau. he raised an eyebrow.

"did he even tell you why we're doing this?"

dan frowned, crossing his arms. "no. no one did."

"what a dick." phil shook his head, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "here."

he opened it to some screenshots, handing dan the object. he squinted at the screen. he needed glasses, but it wasn't like he could use them now, with his whole new image or whatever. dan's mum once told him, embrace the rumors, embrace the jokes, to keep from getting hurt. so that was exactly what he was doing.

dan slowly read the messages between phil and mau. he pressed on the attached image.

"fuck," he cursed under his breath, shoving the phone back in phil's hand.

his first thought was it was staged. photoshopped. there was no way his fucking boyfriend would send out pictures of him, like that, and sell them.

then he looked back at mau, who had a positively guilty look on his face, leaning against his car and staring at the ground.

dan took a deep breath, turning back to phil and glaring at him.

"fuck you," he hissed, whirling around and moving to walk back to the car. he could hear phil's astonished noise.

"fuck me?" he grabbed dan's sleeve, pulling him back. "i didn't take the pictures, dan! that fuckwad did!"

dan shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself. "but none of this would have happened if it weren't for your big stupid mouth."

"excuse me?" phil threw his hands up, exasperated. dan couldn't give less of a shit how he felt. "if anything it's your fault, princess, for messaging me in the first place."

dan stared at him, at a loss for words. "i-" he started, and then closed his mouth again. he could feel his eyes stinging with potential tears, and he wiped them quickly. "yeah," he muttered, his voice breaking. "don't worry, i won't make the same mistake."

that time he really left, going back to the car and sitting down in the passengers seat.

"dan-"

he ignored phil's voice, ignored the way he pushed his hair back, from being annoyed or upset, dan couldn't care less. but he did watch as mau pushed away from the car, because he knew what came next.

"what'd you say to him?" he asked, but phil just laughed. mau was bigger than him, and had a furious, dangerous even, look on his face, and he was laughing. dan would never understand that boy.

mau grabbed him by the collar, practically lifting him off the ground, but phil hardly flinched.

"what did you tell him?" mau repeated, and phil raised his eyebrows.

"why?" he asked casually. "you scared i said something you don't want him to hear?"

that was apparently crossing a line, because mau dropped him to his feet and swung at him, his fist colliding with phil's cheek. dan gasped and his hand automatically went to cover his mouth, watching phil stumble but not fall.

he looked at mau with an almost fiery look, his cheek bleeding a little, but otherwise unharmed.

"do you even know what kind of music he listens to, you unattainable fuck?" phil asked, breathing heavily. "or just his favorite sex position?"

before mau could react, phil was on him, hitting him in the stomach as hard as he could. mau cussed, and phil took a step back to keep him from getting to him easily.

"actually, i doubt you even know that." he paused to run up, jabbing at him again, and retreating again. "you don't seem like the type of guy to pay attention to what your partner wants."

well. he wasn't wrong.

mau growled at him, leaning over to clutch his stomach, clearly in pain.

"shut the fuck up," he spit, slowly straightening himself out. "you don't know anything. he fucking hates you, it doesn't matter what band taste you share."

phil shrugged, and looked over at dan. dan quickly let his gaze fall to his lap, but it was too late.

"that means a lot more than how good the sex is."

dan could feel his face going red. he hadn't expected it but all this really was about him. he heard a thud and someone hitting the ground, but he didn't look up right away.

phil was saying everything right, everything to catch dan's attention, everything he wouldn't think for a million years phil knew to say. wasn't he a fuckboy, wasn't he the jerk who revealed information about him and called him something that dan had explicitly told him not to?

or was that just...

or was that just an act?

dan's head finally shot up when he heard another thud that made him shudder, only to see phil on the ground, mau on top of him, hitting him again and again and again.

dan jumped up, throwing the car door open and running towards them.

"okay, that's enough-!"

dan shouted, attempting to separate them, but mau didn't move an inch. dan hit his shoulder, getting almost frantic.

"mau, get off of him!"

the boy still wasn't listening, and dan heard phil groan from under him.

dan tugged at mau's arm roughly, and he accidentally swung back, his hand impacting with dan's eye.

that made him stop, that made everything stop, and everything went quiet for a moment.

"shit," mau cursed, standing up and moving his attention to dan instead of the beat up boy formerly under him. "shit, baby, i'm sorry, i-"

"it's fine," dan muttered, shoving him off. he was still mad about the whole picture thing, no matter how much he was trying to blame phil. "get off. i'm okay."

dan could see phil standing up, and fuck, he didn't look the best. his cheek was cut up in two places, and so was his lip, and there was an already forming bruise under his eye.

he wiped away some of the blood, mostly just smearing it, and then noticed dan looking, and smirked.

"take me home," dan mumbled, his voice low and soft. he kept his eye contact with phil, and for some reason, phil's smirk looked more like a grin now.

mau nodded, turning to the car, and dan tried to follow.

but then there was a hand gripping his sleeve, stopping him. dan paused, biting down on his lip and facing phil.

he was super close. fuck.

"dan."

dan frowned at him, his eyes flickering over phil's face.

"what do you-"

before dan could finish there were lips against his, soft ones, and a hand in his hair, one on his waist. phil pulled him closer, so that their bodies were pressed together.

dan stopped. everything stopped, or at least it felt like it. god, he tasted like bubblegum and blood and everything good, and his lips were soft and warm, and dan could feel himself melting, but phil pulled away quickly, before dan could do anything.

phil grinned, and... and walked away.

dan stood there, speechless, until he felt someone pulling him back to the car, rather roughly.

the drive was quiet, which dan was grateful for. he stared out the window, his neglected headphones sitting in his lap. he wasn't sure whether he was shunning mau or the other way around.

he would have pulled away, he told himself. he would have.

he was a little vexed that the kiss had been so short, he felt like he had the right to push phil away. he would have, too.

if he had only had a chance.

彡

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