Have I truly suffered? Do I even properly comprehend quote on quote suffering?

I was bullied, but not for long before it could diminish me because my mother took me out before I began middle school. It has been restricted to my mother and younger brother being the only interactions, which is different.

Especially when being grounded came around.
But that was afterwards when my father still lived with us.

He's not a bad guy; he just doesn't understand, right?
Anything I could say would show the moments my small eyes would look at my father's bargaining on what to do, or what could he do.

He's supposed to be my dad, right? But you know, watching my mother and father fight for me to have a mindset on how to act, how to press or let problems sit and never be solved. To be hyper-emotional or emotionless, sometimes I don't even know myself, and I don't want anyone to know me.

I feel, or I am someone on the outside.
I HATE PEOPLE as I hate myself.

It's just severed ends, and to remember is tying a knot and keeping going.