TW: death and some language
Otherwise enjoy!!
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Lances POV
'It's funny I always thought that I was useless to the team. Turns out I'm not. I'm their punching bag, their stress reliever, and their toy.' I wrote into my journal and 'the more I thought about it I realized that they do indeed don't like me. With Shiro back and all I'm useless again.' I close my journal and sighed. I looked at the clock it read 7:27 pm. 'Dinner was at 7 too bad no one came and got me.......oh who am I kidding they love it when I'm not there.' I got up and walked out to the kitchen. Inside was Hunk he was turned away from me.
        "Hey Hunk!" I chirped happily. He didn't turn around. I sighed sadly and got a bowl and a bit of goo. I walked back to my room. I sat on my bed and pulled out my computer. I started to type a song and sing notes. I start to find the notes for my song lucky. As I worked I didn't bother to eat and I forgot about it. After I got half of the song I looked around and saw it was almost midnight. I sighed and put my things away and grabbed my bayard. I walked to the training room and started to train.
         "Start training level 13" thirteen droids dropped down and I sighed and slowed my breathe. I heard the door open but ignored it. I ran and slid on my knees and shot down five of them. I slide under one and had my bayard turn to my sword and I sliced through one and quickly got up and launched myself over three and sliced there heads off. I landed and rolled. I came to my knee and looked up. 'Seven more' I got up and wrist rolled my sword. It turned back into my blaster and shot down five. 'Didn't miss a shot' I jumped as a staff swung towards my legs. I kicked the droid and it shuffled back. The other one came behind me and started to choke me. I growled and turned my blaster to a sword and it pierced the bot. It fell and I looked at the last one. It charged me and I jumped and squeezed the head between my thighs and swung it down. My bayard changed back to my blaster and I shot it in the head. I stood up and was panting heavily. I wiped sweat from my forehead and peeled off my shirt.
     "What the hell was that?" I whipped around and readying my blaster. There stood Keith. I scoffed and put it away.
     "None of your business Kogane." I growled.
      "Lance! You just took down thirteen bots on your own!! Not even Shiro can do that! So tell me what the hell is going on!!" He race towards me and shoved me against the wall. I just stood there blank face.
      "Maybe I'm not who you think I am. Maybe I was trained to be able to handle this type of training! Maybe I wasn't trained to be treated like absolute garbage!!" Tears streamed down my face. I glared at Keith as he stood in shock.
      "Lance....what are-"
       "Shut it, Keith. My mission was to gather as much info as I could about your boyfriend Shiro but instead got me thrown into this!! I never asked to be experimented on or or be some type of living lab rat! I never wanted these powers! I'd rather have no one like you and not be in constant pain my whole childhood. Keith my name isn't Lance I'm experiment 769037. Look....I abandoned my mission because I realized I had a chance to be free! But instead of having a home and family I've always wanted I've been your punching bag, your stress reliever, and your toy! All you guys do is ignore me or put me down!! I don't get compliments on how I'm doing. I just wanna be a normal kid!" I slid down the wall as I stared blankly at the floor. Keith stood there for a second before laughing.
       "That's a good one Lance!!" He chuckled and I looked at him and silently tears poured down my face. He looked at me and quickly shut his mouth.
        "If it's true where's your proof?!?" He seems irritated. I sighed and wiped the back of my neck and makeup came off. There was my tattoo that read 'ex. 769037' Keith reaches out and touched it. I wince in fear. He hesitated until his rough but soft touch was on my tattoo. I sigh and close my eyes. I start to purr and blush slightly.
        "Lance who else knows?" Keith demanded as he looked at me sternly.
         "Only you. If it makes you feel better you can tell anyone that I'm some stupid mistake my mom didn't want want so I became an experiment." I looked away as I felt Keith's hand slip away. He glared and left. I watched him go and I start to cry. Hot tears poured down my face. 'I've never known the feeling of love. It's my one goal. Is to feel loved.' I stood up and ran to my room. On my way I heard Keith shouting and I cried harder and ran faster. My muscles burned from all the sleepless nights and not eating. I ran into my room and locked the door behind me. My tears ran down my face as I wail ripped through my throat and I clawed at my throat. I ran to my journal and took out a paper and started to write.

       Dear friends,
I don't know if I can even call you that. Guess it's time to come clean and tell you who I am. Well in my journal you will find it. It explains who I really am. I loved you guys. I wanted to feel loved by maybe just one person but...I never got that. Correction will never get that. I know you guys hate me. I can see it in your eyes and the words you spit at me. I have never had a family or friends. To thing that my 'friends' caused me to kill myself I'd be so ashamed of myself. I was born to a mother and she hated me. So she gave me to the Garrison and they experimented on me. I was in constant pain. You will find on the back of my neck a tattoo.
Hunk- I'm sorry if whatever I did to make you mad and hate me. It broke me to see my only friend turn against me. I guess who wants a broken toy anyway??
Pidge- thanks for being the lil sis I never had and always wanted. Sorry I annoyed you a lot. Also sorry you have to see me like this. Who wants to hang out with me, a broken soldier?
Shiro- you were my hero. I looked up to you. I'm sorry all I did was disappoint you. Guess I did need all the pushing and hate from you to remind me that I wasn't loved. I'm sorry. Plus you and Keith in a relationship I wanted to be there with you two. I love you but, Who wants to love someone so unlovable?
Coran-You were the father I never had. Don't blame yourself please. Just remember that I love you and your husband wouldn't want you to mourn he'd want you to celebrate his life and always love him. For once I came to love my sexuality because of you thank you.
Allura- I never really liked you. Yes your pretty but not my type. Sorry a loser like my pretended to like you. Plus I know you are more focused on the war. Sorry agin I disappointed you. Guess the weakest link disappears now huh?
Keith- I'm sorry. That's all I have to say. I'm sorry that I fell in love with you. I'm sorry that I was so useless. Like you once said no one needs or wants me. You and Shiro stay together ok? You deserve happiness. I never did. I also never will. I guess I got a taste of love but not the way I wanted. Being in love with someone who is already in love and happy is like trying to pick a flower so perfect that you can't touch it. That's what you and Shiro are is untouchable. I am scared. I'm scared that I will never see you again. I once heard that when someone kills themselves that they are reborn into the couples kid that caused them to love but also great pain. Who am I kidding I don't deserve to be reborn.
      This is goodbye. So goodnight forever I never did get to feel loved.
       -love, Lance or experiment 769037

     I got into the bathroom and let myself sink into the bathtub. I let my bayard form and I took my sword and focused as I made it into a knife. I held it up to my throat and let it dig into my skin and slice it as blood oozed out. I let my hand with the note fall out of the bathtub. I was in so much pain as I cried but I deserved this. I slowly felt sleepy and let myself  open my arms to death as my breathing became slow and shallow. I took one more breathe and felt it leave me as I left my own body. I let death engulf me and I let myself be set free.
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(A/n) tell me what you think and sorry if it's bad! Also it's 1625 words long!