WARNING:

CONTAINS MENTION OF PHYSICAL ABUSE, TRAUMA, DEATH, AND STRONG LANGUAGE.

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"Amrita!" Dev's voice boomed;  livid with anger. "How dare you say that?"

Tears streaming down her face, Amrita couldn't herself believe what she had just said. Her cheek was throbbing from his slap.

"You know I wouldn't even think of anyone like that, let alone your mother, you pushed me Dev. You always do this" she stammered in between sobs.

Dev stepped forward, furious "and YOU blame me and get away as always. Have you known anything better? She is my mother how dare you speak ill of her?" 

"Same applies to my mother too Dev. You just spoke ill about her and still stand in front of me and argue that what you did was right. You have been living with me with that suspicion in your mind all these twenty five years?" She was disgusted.

"Just shut up, don't instigate me..." he warned.

"What if I do? Either you verbally abuse me or threaten me with divorce right" the physical pain was equal to the verbal daggers he hurled at her every time.

 "I don't know why I married you. You're a good for nothing. Can't work efficiently, don't know to manage a family. Have you heard your voice? You speak like a man... and look at yourself!" he held her hand comparing their complexion. "People call us chess board Amrita, black and white" he snickered.
"you got lucky when I agreed to marry you, otherwise you would have been baby-sitting your depressed divorcee brother life long".

Even while they were newly weds, they had lot of fights and arguments. Amrita's mother always advised her to keep calm and adjust. Innumerous fights and arguments over the years, several rules and restrictions. So many abuses, so many insults, so much of hardships, constant comparison with his mother, sister and other 'smart' women. She 'adjusted and complied' to keep the family together.

She put up with everything, she worked hard to manage bank job and home, learnt new cuisines, new way of life in the US. Now here they are back in India after twenty five years, still their equation was the same. Talking ill about her mother was the final trigger. He quoted his mother's cousin who eavesdropped on a conversation between Amrita's relatives during the wedding.

 Being a single mother; widowed or divorced is a fucking curse in this society! Makes you an eligible target of slandering.

 Her mother struggled a lot as a widow to raise her and her brother, after fighting to save her dad who went down with stroke at a young age and eventually passed away after a year. She managed to get both of them to finish their degree by borrowing money and doing overtime at a small clinic, helping out neighbours with baby-sitting services during weekends and holidays.

When she wanted to know who had said this, he refused to reveal the identity of the person.

"In spite of such a scandalous image, I decided not to ask anything and continued to live with you, that shows my magnanimity" the ego in him spoke.

She very calmly asked him, "was this the reason you called me as bitch or slut when you wanted to silence me during an argument?"

He riled up, "when you go all quiet and act egoistically what do you expect me to think?" 

"It's called being hurt and being withdrawn Dev and in case you didn't notice the pattern, I always end up being so when I'm extremely hurt, by you."

That was the one time when she couldn't suppress the bitterness and rage that rose inside her, unknowing that she would regret it later.

"You know Dev you had also lost your dad long back and your mother also raised you and your sister single-handedly, does that mean people can raise questions on her too?"

The moment she finished that, she felt the hard slap on her cheeks and the eventual throbbing on her face and whole head. "How come Dev your mother is honourable and mine is questionable?" she managed with a very weak voice.

He reached her threateningly close, raised his hand again, she side stepped and unfortunately the blow was dealt to her nose. For a few seconds she couldn't comprehend what had happened. She felt dizzy and plopped on the floor holding her head and later collapsed in a heap. He stormed out of the house, ignoring her.

✴✴

It has been two and a half years after that altercation, a brief stay at a hospital due to the nose injury and concussion. She had to convince their family doctor that she felt dizzy due her BP and fell down at home. After contemplating separation for a while she dropped it. Finally, news of Ananya's graduation ceremony broke her depressing mood.

She knew divorce was not the solution it would only create more problems. Her girls were grown up; Ananya in University and Riddhi in high school; mother in law ageing and bedridden. No, it was not them, nor was it the fact that she didn't have a single penny on her.

It was for her mother's sake, to make her happy,  she had been through rough patches after rough patches. She wasn't even alive to see her grandchildren, passed away while Amrita was expecting her first child.

Our society has this abominable habit of judging a woman based on success of her married life and her parenting skills. So much to women empowerment!  It was due to this fear that Amrita gave up her idea of separation; didn't want to disgrace her mother 20 years after her death. All the relatives who chose to be invisible till date, would magically appear to certify her mother's parenting and her chastity spiced with baseless gossips.
 

 A couple of weeks before trip to her daughter's graduation ceremony to the US, Dev came home after dropping his mother at his sister's house. She made his coffee and started with dinner prep; he said he wanted to talk and she knew it meant trouble. She sat on the sofa across him, Ridhi was at her friend's house.

"I was considering enrolling Riddhi also in the US. Any way she wants to do her graduation there so why not a year before? You can join the girls there take care of both of them. I'll visit the girls.." the way he spoke, meant he had made his decision.

"What about ammaji Dev? How will you manage her health issues?" was the only thing Amrita asked him.

"Don't worry I will shift to our old apartment near my sister's house."

So, the blueprint was ready, all approvals taken and the plan had to be executed. Her approval wasn't necessary here, like a labourer, she just had to carry out orders, and that was how it was always.

She got up, "you want me to clean up the house before leaving next week so that it will be easy for shifting?"

"I can get my office boys to help before the packing company comes in."

She walked back into the kitchen and continued with her work and started mentally listing out things to be done in the coming week. Her phone buzzed, it was a message from Ananya, looked like Dev had spoken to her regarding the plans, she was wondering what to reply.

Dev walked into the kitchen, "Look Amrita, our company has got a prestigious project and its all because of my hard work and planning. If we succeed in this project we could be in the go-to list of the Central Government's civil contractors. So, I might have to be involved in the project full-fledge, erratic working hours etc. I can't afford unnecessary distractions and personal problems to occupy my mind, it might cost my career and the company too. Its better this way, you can be there with kids taking care of them and you won't have any worries; kids also won't get home-sick. You don't have anything else here to do anyway other than that" he left before she could respond.

Amrita was dumbfounded! They were not getting a legal divorce, otherwise its all the same. In a flash he had diplomatically removed her from his life, her trail of thoughts was broken by Ananya's call. She wanted to know why her dad wasn't coming for her graduation. Amrita was shocked, she tried hard to explain to her that she wasn't aware of his plan being cancelled and told her it could be because of the new project that he spoke about a few minutes ago. But her daughter wasn't ready to accept, even Amrita knew that sounded absurd.

"Maa I hope its not one of the usual stupid fights you guys have" with that she disconnected.

Amrita went up to Dev, "did you cancel your tickets? You're not coming to US? And why didn't you tell me? Ananya called me now and asked me and is upset that you are not coming. She thinks it's because of me" she expressed her shock.

He was getting ready for the gym, "Make it clear! Are you upset that I'm not coming or that she accuses you?"

How cleverly this man was framing her! Both the girls will be mad if he cancels his plans, he knows it and yet, and of course it will reflect in their attitude towards her. 

"Dev please leave aside our problems, it's her graduation, she will feel so let down without you. Don't do this to her please!"

"She is not an emotional fool like you. ok? I can talk to them both and make them understand. And how did you think its because of you? You are not that important that I give up on my children or my duty because of you. Don't think so high of yourself!" he slammed the door shut and left for gym.

After every fight she would think, it can't get worse than this and every time life was proving her wrong.

He was proving her wrong!

'What is he? Who is this man whom I have been living with? Do I even know him?'

Her heart was racing, she was confused with so many thoughts and emotions, she was feeling sick; walked up to the table and got herself a glass of water. A rush of throbbing pain pulsated through her body, she felt dizzy and her vision blurred.

Two hours later when Dev got back from the gym, he had to call the locksmiths to break open the door, to find Amrita's lifeless body. Post mortem revealed a hemorrhage.

Their family doctor was livid.
"Dev I told her several times to be careful, her BP must have shot up so much to cause this, she was more prone to hemorrhage after the nose injury, where a capillary had been damaged. The medication was not healing the blood clot.  She cancelled her CT scan appointment last two times. And were you so busy to even bring her for check-up Dev?"

By the look on his face doctor understood that he was unaware of all this. The doctor held out a copy of her reports. Amrita had hidden the cause of her injury saving Dev from being arrested. She had gone silent after the incident and he didn't take much notice of it as usual. 

For the first time he wondered,
'Amrita, do I even know you?'

THE END
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Author's Note:

Mothers are the unsung heroes of our lives. So many of them toiling away in the hot, humid kitchens silently, whose selfless contributions are witnessed by each brick of the house which she turns into the warm welcoming home. Some additionally battling outside at work too, either to make ends meet or to prove herself to the society.

Dedicate this to all the fairy god mothers on earth called Mothers❤❤❤