WARNING! THERE ARE MENTIONS OF SELF HARM IN THIS CHAPTER! I WILL PUT A WARNING BEFORE IT ACTUALLY STARTS SO IF ANYONE NEEDS TO THEY CAN SKIP IT!

CHATS -

CHENLE (2)
DONGHYUCK (4)
JAEHYUN
JAEMIN (2)
JISUNG (1)
JENO
LUCAS
MARK
FUNKY TOWN (7)

YOU ARE NOW MESSAGING
JAEMIN!

JAEMIN
you bastard

JAEMIN
you lying bastard

JAMIE
what did i do ?? i've
been on my best behavior
since johnny yelled at me for
throwing cookies at you yesterday

JAEMIN
exactly, yesterday

JAMIE
????

JAEMIN
you didn't tell me
you saw jeno !!!

JAMIE
pffft where did you hear
that? the peanut factory?

JAEMIN
...first off it's peanut
GALLERY secondly
you had a horrible habit
of spilling secrets half asleep

JAMIE
damnit curse you
sleeping jamie smh

JAEMIN
when did you see him???

JAMIE
starbucks last friday
when you were busy :(

JAEMIN
what happened?
explain bitch explain

JAMIE
okay sorry for not telling
you abt your husband
earlier god lesson learned

JAEMIN
jAMIE STOP BEATING
AROUND THE BUSH

JAMIE
okay okay

JAMIE
jeno was fine, he's with
mark and two others ig

JAMIE
he bought 4 drinks i'm
pretty sure when he came

JAEMIN
and?

JAMIE
that's it

JAMIE
nothing else happened

JAEMIN
weird...

JAEMIN
LETS AMBUSH MARK
AND GET ANSWERS

JAMIE
or we could give jeno
the space he seems to want

JAEMIN
but that's no fun :(

JAMIE
too bad lmao

JAMIE
now, jisung texted me
for the first time in a month
so i gotta see what it's abt

JAEMIN
i see 👀 have fun

JAMIE
i fucking hate you
what's that emoji for

JAEMIN
nothing 👀 just
feeling like a second
option bestie instead of
a first option bestie which
hurts bc you're my first
option bestie and i wanna
be that for you too ya know?
i put so much thought into you
and loving you and you give back
nothing wtf jamie seo

JAMIE
i've been waiting for today's
complaint all day thank you

JAMIE
bye jaemin ly

JAEMIN
...love you too uwu

CHATS -

CHENLE (2)
DONGHYUCK (4)
JAEHYUN
JAEMIN
JISUNG (1)
JENO
LUCAS
MARK
FUNKY TOWN (7)

YOU ARE NOW MESSAGING
JISUNG!

JISUNG
what did you get
for five on the physics hw

JAMIE
...there's physics hw?

JISUNG
...yes?

JAMIE
oh great

JAMIE
lemme do it now
read 5:44pm

JAMIE
wait i'm not in your
physics class

JISUNG
i forgot you're smart :(

JAMIE
hey you are too

JAMIE
i can help you with
your homework if you want

JISUNG
uh no it's okay

JISUNG
i'll ask my sister

JAMIE
unless your sister suddenly
quit her amazing job,
i distinctly remember her
working on wednesday's

JISUNG
no... she's home

JAMIE
jisung you be acting
wack wtf is wrong

JAMIE
i literally haven't had
lunch with you for months,
we haven't had a normal
convo since new years and
that was with the other boys,
and you always seem distant
when we do talk

JAMIE
is it me? did i do smth?

JAMIE
is there anything
i can do to stop this?

JISUNG
dance has just
been a lot with the
competition coming up

JAMIE
competition?

JAMIE
why didn't you tell us?

JAMIE
we'll def be there

JISUNG
no! no please don't

JAMIE
uh... okay?

JAMIE
seriously jisung wtf

JISUNG
like i said, i'm just
stressed over dance

JISUNG
the dance is hard and
i'm stuck on this move

JAMIE
can i help you learn it?

JAMIE
believe it or not i'm
actually a great dancer

JAMIE
ask jeno !! he taught me
how to ballroom dance
for a play we're learning rn

JISUNG
it's okay i'll get it
myself dw jimin

JAMIE
uh why are you calling
me jimin? you rarely do that

JISUNG
sorry i have to go

JAMIE
ya park jisung you brat
read 6:59pm

JAMIE
fine, be that way
read 7:00pm

CHATS -

CHENLE (2)
DONGHYUCK (4)
JAEHYUN
JAEMIN
JISUNG
JENO
LUCAS
MARK
FUNKY TOWN (7)

YOU ARE NOW MESSAGING
CHENLE!

CHENLE
man i miss bigbang 🥺

CHENLE
next comeback they
have you best believe
i'm buying tickets to see them

JAMIE
chenle has jisung been acting
weird to everyone or just me??

CHENLE
wdym

JAMIE
are you going to his
dance competition?
when even is it?

CHENLE
dance competition?
its next month, all
the boys are going

CHENLE
why?

JAMIE
...you're all invited?

CHENLE
aren't you too?

JAMIE
i didn't even know
he had a competition

CHENLE
that's... weird

CHENLE
he was rlly excited
to show you his dancing

JAMIE
i'm concerned

CHENLE
it's probably nothing
big don't worry jamie

CHENLE
maybe he's feeling insecure

JAMIE
but only with me :(

CHENLE
sorry jamie..

JAMIE
no it's fine...

JAMIE
i don't have time to worry
abt this i have a jeno to help

CHATS -

CHENLE
DONGHYUCK (4)
JAEHYUN (4)
JAEMIN
JISUNG
JENO
LUCAS (1)
MARK
FUNKY TOWN (208)

YOU ARE NOW MESSAGING
FUNKY TOWN!

MARK
why am i still here

JAMIE
i ask myself that
every single day

JAEMIN
hush it, no one asked

CHENLE
what is with you two
recently and the fighting

DONGHYUCK
they're past the honeymoon
stage and in the real world stage

JAEMIN
jamie doesn't put in
the effort i do 😠

JAMIE
lies

JAMIE
i let you into my house
don't i? and feed you when
you say you're hungry? do
i need to go on huh? huh?

MARK
she's got a point

JAEMIN
shut up grandpa

CHENLE
can't we all get along?

DONGHYUCK
no

JAEMIN
no

JAMIE
sure uwu

JAEMIN
JAMIE NO

JAMIE
JAMIE YES

CHENLE
JAMIE YES UWU

MARK
and the bias continues

JAMIE
ofc i'm a loyal stan

DONGHYUCK
👀 @ jaemin & mark

JAEMIN
👀 @ donghyuck & mark

MARK
uh what was i supposed
to respond again?

DONGHYUCK
fuck you mark

JAMIE
no fuck you ALL

JAMIE
minus jeno and chenle uwu

RENJUN
ya'll woke me up,
you rat ass snakes

RENJUN
don't i spend enough
time with you all? why you
gotta butt into my alone time?

MARK
yikes the beast has awoken

RENJUN
shut up grandpa

JAMIE
stop being mean to
the elderly renjun, when
will you learn that your
actions have consequences

CHENLE
wHeN wIlL yOu LeArN

JAEMIN
WhEn WiLl YoU lEaRn

CHENLE
voice message... 0:06

DONGHYUCK
my ears are broken

RENJUN
thank you for giving
me a reason to kill myself

JAMIE
^^^

DONGHYUCK
👀👀👀

JAMIE
donghyuck you are literally
sitting next to me don't think
i won't bitch slap you bro

JAEMIN
gAsp why is donghyuck
at your house jamie ???

JAMIE
graceful family is on duh

JAEMIN
WHY DIDNT YOU REMIND
ME IM LITERALLY SPRINTING
OUT OF THE DOOR TO MAKE IT

DONGHYUCK
bro it doesn't start until 11

JAMIE
lmao yeah donghyuck
just came early bc i promised
to buy him dinner one night
for helping me w smth

JAEMIN
well now you can
buy for all three of us

JAMIE
fine but we're leaving
in ten minutes so hurry up

JAEMIN
bRb sprinting

WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM START NOW!

"lulu, we're leaving now," jamie called, knocking on lucas's door, "want us to bring you something back?"

there was no response, so jamie knocked again, louder, "lucas?"

she waited for a minute and he didn't answer yet again.

"wong yukhei!" jamie screamed and banged on the door, "are you there?"

yet again, he didn't answer, so she took it upon herself to open the door.

lucas's head perked up in alarm, looking over at her, watching as she fell against the doorframe in shock and horror.

blood gushed out of his arms, lines and lines of cuts on each of them and his legs.

bile raised in jamie's throat and she gagged, the metallic smell of blood hitting her like a truck.

lucas weakly tried to cover up his cuts, trying to hide them from jamie's view even though they both knew she had seen them.

"jamie?" jaemin called, "you coming?"

"uh, yeah! one minute!" jamie called back, her voice quivering.

"are you okay?" he called back, worry dripping from every word.

jamie's eyes met lucas's, seeing the pleading in his eyes, red and bloodshot, tears still falling.

"can you guys go? we can reschedule right?" jamie called, not wanting to move, afraid lucas would make one wrong move and be over by the time she came back.

a hand on jamie's shoulder caused her to jump, jaemin standing behind her, staring at lucas in alarm.

"donghyuck call an ambulance!" jaemin yelled, going over to lucas and kneeling next to him.

"what? what happened?" donghyuck called, his voice getting closer and closer.

jaemin took action, starting to put pressure to lucas's wounds.

"i'll get some bandages and towels!" jamie stuttered leaving the room.

she ran into donghyuck's chest, looking up at him as he held a phone to his ear.

"what's happening?" donghyuck asked.

jamie couldn't find the words, pushing past him and going into the bathroom.

she physically felt sick, panic running through her veins as she grabbed the first aid kit and a roll of paper towels they kept in their bathroom, rushing back over to the room.

jaemin was using one of lucas's shirts to stop the bleeding, talking through the phone that donghyuck was holding up to his ear, lucas still crying, quiet pleads leaving his lips.

"i don't want to die," he cried, "help me, why did i do this? i can't stand this, help me. i just wanna go home!"

jamie could feel her heart breaking as she went over to jaemin, putting down everything he asked for.

"can you get some towels you don't want to keep?" jaemin asked jamie, "so we can tie them?"

jamie nodded quickly, getting up and running by again.

soon she found herself by lucas's side, running her hand through his hair, his head against her chest, trying to calm him as his cries became more frantic.

jamie didn't know what she felt, every emotion it felt swimming through her, making her numb yet vivid at the same time.

donghyuck got the door and let the paramedics in, them taking lucas from her.

"no," she screamed, tears trailing her cheeks, "let me stay with him!"

jaemin held her back, his one arm tightly around her shoulders and the other's hand holding her arm.

he reluctantly passed her to donghyuck, following the paramedics who refused to let jamie in the ambulance with them, afraid she was a threat.

donghyuck squeezed her hand tight, his thumb rubbing circles on hers, "it's okay, he's strong. he's escaped death once, he'll do it again."

all of a sudden, jamie felt sick.

she pushed donghyuck away, running into the bathroom, leaning over and gagging.

the smell of blood haunted her, the image of lucas, his cries echoed in her ears.

donghyuck was right behind her, holding her hair back with one hand, the other soothingly rubbing her back.

sobs escaped her lips, the weight of everything falling down, her strength leaving her.

the two didn't say anything, jamie still sick and donghyuck trying to calm her silently, panicking because he was bad at comforting.

they sat on the bathroom floor, his arm around her shoulders, pulling her safely into his chest, his other hand holding hers and her grip felt like it was breaking his hand. she continued to cry, muttering words about how pathetic and worthless she was.

"hey, hey," donghyuck eventually said, moving his hands from her and putting them on either side of her face, making her face him with her cheeks pushed in, "you are not pathetic, worthless, or any other synonym that matches anything negative other than annoying, you got that?"

jamie's lip quivered, "but i am all of those words, i couldn't realize lucas was hurting because i was so focused on myself."

donghyuck lightly slapped her with his hands, still holding her face, "shut up, i'm the only one allowed to insult you."

jamie didn't have the energy to laugh or smile, so she just stared at him.

"what's with that look, huh?" he asked, poking her nose.

she tried to shake her head, but he was still squishing her face.

donghyuck smiled, "that's what i thought. now do you want to change or something before we leave because you reek."

jamie pouted, making him laugh, the two getting up.

as donghyuck was walking out of the room, jamie caught his arm.

"thank you," she mumbled.

"i'm sorry, what?" he teased, turning around and leaning down to be face-to-face with her.

"i said thank you!" she said, louder this time.

"anytime," donghyuck grinned, "now, let's go."