My mother looked out the window of my thirteenth story room as she helped me fill the paperwork out for my next surgery.  The day was gloomy and rainy, just like my situation. It was just another operation to remove part of a tumor that had been growing on my spine for the last six years.

"Ashton, know, your sixteenth birthday is coming up, where would you want to go?," she said looking back at me, her smile the beautiful sun that cut through the clouds.

"Mommy," I pause frowning slightly at her, "I can't leave the hospital."

"But if you could," She replied as she looked back at the gloomy sky.

I wouldn't. I can't.

I look down at the papers on my lap and see the bold black letters reading DNR. I cover the paper slightly as I looked up at my mom.

"A bookstore. I've read all the books in the hospital library." I explain as I quickly sign the paper.

She'll never know.

_________________

NOTE: A DNR means do not resuscitate, so if Ashton flat lines doctors cannot save/resuscitate him.