ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɴɪɴᴇᴛᴇᴇɴ ᴏꜰ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ
'ᴋɪꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴏᴏʀ'

Inanna, Luther and Allison regrouped with the others at a park not far from the house. Vanya was no where to be found, but Five had blinked out of the house just before Vanya used her powers against the Sparrows and he expected her to not be too far behind.

Inanna tore off her coat, fighting the urge to tear off her skin along with it. The itching hadn't stopped, if anything it had gotten worse since the adrenaline from the fight with Anna had wore off.

"Just gonna sit. I'm just gonna sit for a minute" Luther grumbled painful, he sat down on one of the benches as Klaus laid across a picnic table and Five sat at another.

"That didn't go well" Diego said turning around from the large pond he had been looking at.

"No, not our best work" Five said.

"Speak for yourself" Inanna muttered stretching her back, the ache from falling onto the chair still there "I was having fun for the first time in a long time".

"When you call almost murdering yourself 'fun', that makes you sound like a psychopath, love" Five said rubbing his jaw.

"And when you add 'love' onto the end of something, it doesn't make it any less insulting" Inanna remarked.

"You went too far, Inan, that's all i'm saying" Five responded with a shrug. Inanna glared at him as she itched behind her ear.

"Okay" Inanna nodded with her nose scrunched up. "Next time I'll let the girl who looks like the girl you married murder you, yeah?" Five raised his brow at Inanna. "Cool, alright".

"She wasn't going to kill me" Five sighed, he didn't want to have this argument with Inanna.

"How would you know?" Inanna asked "You were kissing the floor".

"I like that" Klaus whispered pointing at Inanna as he looked up the sky with his eyes half open.

"Real mature" Five muttered.

"Okay" Allison sighed, her arms extending to Five and Inanna, earning a whispered 'thank you' from Luther. "Five just be grateful that you aren't dead and leave it alone. Talk about this some other time, okay?".

Inanna and Five didn't agree, both of them only turning their gaze away from Allison and away from each other.

Allison turned her attention to Luther who was staring off at the floor with a look of disbelief. "You alright?" Allison asked.

"I don't know yet" Luther responded with a shake of his head. "I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like..." Luther held out his hands to Allison "Here you go. It's your ass" Luther nodded, his words only making Allison concerned.

"Okay" Allison turned back to the others. "I think Luther's concussed" Allison rubbed his shoulder.

Klaus sat up on the picnic table holding his hand out in front of his face. "Luther, how many fingers?".

Luther didn't answer Klaus, a sudden look of shock appear on his face. "Oh my God. Vanya" Luther said.

Allison pointed towards the path they had just previously walked down as Vanya walked towards them, breathlessly.

"Oh. Thank God you're alive" Vanya said, rubbing her back.

"You okay?" Allison asked. Vanya nodded.

"Apparently, so is Ben" Klaus said.

"Yeah. And he's a complete dickhead" Allison said.

"They're all dickheads" Diego added leaning against the picnic table.

"Dickheads who can fight" Luther said.

Five sighed, annoyed. "Okay, the next person to say 'dickhead' is getting a punch to the throat" Five said looking around at the others.

One after another, all including Inanna repeated the word 'dickhead'. Five shook his head.

"Hey, did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids?" Diego asked Klaus who he had found in Reginald's room during the fight.

Klaus chuckled. "He sure did! You ready? Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely different group of children just so that he didn't have to raise us" Klaus told his family.

"That's just peak Dad" Diego said sitting on the picnic table.

"But he loved little Red" Klaus gestured to Inanna "That's why he adopted you".

"We had one conversation and before that he cut my arm, which is still healing" Inanna pointed at the bandage on her arm which needed changing at some point.

"Is that what you look like when you aren't so... a child?" Allison asked Inanna.

"I'm not a child" Inanna muttered. "And yes, she is literally me. Even fights the same" Inanna whispered the last part under her breath.

"How did you get her to marry you?" Klaus asked Five as Luther rubbed the side of his head hoping to sooth his pounding headache.

"He was the last person alive" Inanna answered before Five. Five almost looked offended by her response. "I'm not lying, you had zero competition. And don't say anything about me being the last person alive too" Inanna continued before Five had the chance to speak "I stabbed you with a fork and you still followed me around like a lost puppy".

"Because it was safer to stay together" Inanna mimicked Five, speaking at the same time as him. "Don't be an ass" Five mumbled.

"Wait, so he just didn't want us anymore?" Vanya asked Klaus. Klaus nodded.

"Did he ever?" Allison questioned.

"See? I told you we shouldn't have asked him for help in '63" Luther said pointing at Five.

Five sighed. "I think you're all missing the big picture here. If Dad didn't adopt us as kids, he changed the timeline. So who knows what else is different now" Five said, choosing to not mention that his father had adopted his wife in the new timeline.

"Shouldn't you know?" Allison asked Five.

"Sorry, Allison, but it might take me more than 20 minutes and a traumatic brain injury-" Five gestured to the large cut on his head that he had got when Jayme had kicked him down the stairs. "- to figure this all out. Is that okay with you?".

"No, actually, it's not" Allison responded.

"Guys, look, it's fine. We still have the Commission's briefcase" Vanya said looking around at her family. "So worst case, we can just go back in time and fix it".

"We've already reached worse case" Inanna said wiping the sweat off her forehead. "I am this close-" Inanna pressed her thumb and index finger together "- to ripping my skin off".

"Please don't do that" Luther muttered, a look of fear washing over his face.

"Okay" Five sighed standing up. "There are two problems with Vanya's statement" Five said choosing to ignore Inanna for a moment. "First off. Time travel is a complicated thing, people".

"Yeah, we get it. Your job is so hard" Diego commented. "Just... what?".

"And secondly... I no longer have the briefcase" Five said.

Allison stood up slowly from the bench she had sat down at. "Five, where the hell is the briefcase?" Five tilted his head, he had no idea where the briefcase was.

Five had suggested that they left the park, Inanna's constant itching and her threat to kill Luther when he had asked her a simple question had caused a couple people to look over at them and he thought getting Inanna further away from the Academy would help with the paradox psychosis.

Allison waved at a man as he passed them, giving them a confused look as they walked out of the park.

"What are we doing?" Allison asked dropping her arms to her sides.

"Ruminating" Five responded making Allison roll her eyes.

"Why is everyone staring at us?" Klaus asked.

"Because we look like the damn Village People just lost a fight" Diego said snatching Klaus's hat off his head.

"Gimme that" Klaus reached for his hat over Diego's shoulders, trying to snatch it back.

"Hey" Diego shoved Klaus off him and elbowed him in his stomach.

"Ow" Klaus bumped into Five as Allison moved away from them.

"Can you guys cut it out?" Five asked.

"You know what? I need to go find Claire. I will catch up with you guys later" Allison said turning away from the others.

"Hey, Allison, no" Vanya spoke up, calling her sister back. Allison stopped and turned back towards Vanya "First, let's get somewhere safe, clean up those cuts, and then we'll go find her" Vanya said.

"Man, I hate those guys" Luther grumbled looking up at the large billboards of the Sparrows. "Look at 'em with their... stupid smug-".

"You can do it. You can do it" Klaus encouraged nodding his head slowly.

"S...s.. smug-" Klaus lost a little faith in Luther, "Smugness" Luther said glaring at the billboards.

Klaus sighed patting Luther on his back. "Keep working on it, big guy. You'll land one, eventually".

"Hey, Red, where's my knife?" Diego asked, remembering how he had told Inanna to return it to him in 'perfect condition'.

"Ask her" Inanna pointed at Anna on the billboard. "Or ask your brother" Inanna titled her head to Five "Seeing as it's what she almost killed him with".

"For the third tim-".

"Hey" Allison sighed pointing at Inanna as she looked between her and Five. "I told you to leave that shit alone".

"We aren't seven years old" Inanna responded with a small shake of her head which Five agreed with as he tucked his hands into his pockets.

"Fight like children, get treated like children" Allison retorted. "You're old enough to be grandparents, start acting like it".

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll just whip out my knitting needles, shall I?" Inanna asked Allison.

"Only if you are going to stab me with them so I don't have to listen to your constant bickering" Allison replied earning a chuckle from Klaus who found their argument amusing.

Allison sighed heavily, turning away from Inanna. "Honestly, what are we doing?" Allison asked her siblings. "Because we can't keep standing here bleeding out in the middle of this park" Allison said.

"I don't know, but we better gear up fast before they come for round two, alright" Diego said to Allison.

"What makes you think their gonna come after us?" Vanya asked.

"Because I would" Diego responded "And from the last week with Red, if Anna is anything like her, she's probably already planning Inanna's murder".

"Yeah" Inanna nodded, itching the inside of her elbow. "And she is surely plotting your deaths, because I do it at least once a day and I like you".

"Aw" Klaus patted Inanna's shoulder with a large smile forming on his face. "We like you too".

"Thanks" Inanna mumbled.

"But we did break into their house-" Klaus said. 'Our house' Allison muttered with her arms crossed. "and bust up all their nice antiques and shit".

"Yeah. I don't think the crime-fighting... super nerds are gonna let that go" Luther said pointing at the billboard.

"Let's just think of some place off the radar where we can lie low and not draw attention" Five suggested.

"What kind of weird-ass place are we not gonna draw attention?" Diego asked.

Klaus spun around as everyone began thinking. Inanna had nothing, the only places she could think of were in Texas 1963 and her home from before she had disappeared in 2005.

Inanna wondered if her home even existed in the timeline. She expected the building to still be standing, but to not be the home she had grown up in.

Klaus's siblings turned to him, hoping that he would have a 'weird-ass' place for them to lay low in for a while.

Klaus stopped spinning, looking from one sibling to the next as he tried to think of a place. Klaus's face twisted from confusion with realisation as he remembered a place they could hide.

Klaus led his siblings across the town to a large hotel, 'The Hotel Obsidian'. They squeezed into the same section of the spinning door, pushing and shoving each other as they moved around with it.

"There were two entrances, by the way" Five said as they exited the spinning doors and dispersed away from each other.

"You could have gone in the other entrance yourself, by the way" Inanna murmured looking up at the high ceilings and the lights that hung from it while the others looked at the range of odd outfits the guests wore, feeling like they'd definitely fit in with what they were wearing.

"Are you gonna be hostile with me for the rest of the day?" Five asked Inanna.

Inanna dropped her gaze, staring at Five as he tucked his hands in his pockets. "I'm not being hostile, I could be" Inanna responded. "I'm just being unfriendly".

"I'll take that as a yes" Five said. Inanna nodded, turning to look at Klaus as he stepped passed her.

"Oh, Hotel Obsidian. I missed you, you slutty old dame" Klaus said. Klaus walked ahead of his family waving his arms out at his sides "Absorb her. Absorb her into your bosom. You know, cause back in her heyday-" Klaus said turning to his family "-she played host to world leaders. Roosevelt, Gandhi, Stalin, Gorbachev, Castro, King Olaf of Norway, one of the Kim Jongs, Tito, Dalai Lama, Elvis, and not one but two Kardashians, allegedly" Klaus said.

Klaus followed Allison with his head, asking her where she was going as she walked away from him. "I gotta make a call" Allison replied.

"Nowadays, she's just a flophouse, a part house for those of us not looking to be judged by society's rules and norms" Klaus said.

"You mean, a place to hide?" Luther asked.

"Exactly!" Klaus pointed at Luther with both his hands. "It's perfect! And the best part of it is, she's gonna look after us, no questions asked. Never ever. Right? Come on" Klaus gestured over to the front desk.

"This place is weird" Vanya muttered looking around as she followed after Klaus with the others.

A pug sat in a fluffy dog bed on the front desk. Klaus ran the bell enthusiastically, smiling at the man stood behind it. "Chet! Mon frère! It's so great to see you. I'd like my usual suite, por favor".

Chet set his finger on the bell stopping it from ringing. "I've never seen you before" Chet said. The dog whimpered, frightened by Luther and Diego as they pet him.

"See? Told you. Discreet" Klaus mumbled.

"Please stop scaring my dog" Chet said.

Luther and Diego straightened up and Vanya spoke up "We need some rooms, please".

"Super" Chet responded. "And how will we be paying today?" Chet asked. Chet grabbed a card which read 'cash up front' and sat it on the table.

There was a mumble of responses, none of them good. "Fine. Empty your pockets" Luther said.

Inanna waited for the others to empty their pockets, wanting to see what they were willing to offer up for a room before she got her purse out of her 'secret' inside pocket in her coat. Klaus pulled out a collection of condoms, Diego had a knife, Vanya had two hard sweets and Five had what only Inanna could assume were some teeth.

"Condoms?" Luther asked Klaus. "Put the knife away" Luther whisper shouted to Diego.

"Can't you exchange those for cash?" Klaus asked.

"Why do I have a hairnet?" Luther asked holding the hair net in his hands as he tried to recall the moments he had put it in his pocket. "Oh" Luther mumbled as he pushed the hairnet back into his pocket and started undoing his watch.

"What does this get us?" Luther asked extending the watch to Chet.

Inanna sighed as she took her purse and Imogen Hart's passport out of her pocket. "You're loosing brain cells by the hour, Luther, don't want to also loose your ability to tell the time now, do you?" Inanna asked stepping in front of Diego.

Inanna opened her purse, pulling out the money she had saved up working multiple jobs across the years she was stuck in time, most of the jobs also came with a free bedroom in her bosses homes as they felt sorry for the 'young, motherless girl'.

Five took a step towards Inanna swiping her passport off the desk, curiously. Inanna went to snatch it back but instead turned her attention to Chet who was waiting for her money.

"Three rooms" Inanna said sitting the money on the desk as Diego peered over her shoulder. "Please and thank you".

Inanna snatched her passport back off Five, sliding it into her pocket again. Five held his hands up innocently by his head and Chet exchanged Inanna's money for three room keys as Allison rejoined them.

"Three rooms. Mazel tov" Chet said.

The keys were passed around and Inanna took one of them dropping it into her coat pocket along with her purse. Inanna signed her name into log book as writing 'Imogen Hart', deciding it was safer to go with her alias than her birth name.

"Well, let's Brady Bunch this bitch" Allison said to her family.

They headed towards the elevator with Inanna leading them. "Uh, meet back in the bar in two hours so we can make a plan" Five said as they passed the bar.

Diego ran ahead of them, jumping up the stairs in front of the elevators "I have a plan" Diego stated. "We attack the Sparrows, and we take back our house, and then we punch Dad a bit until he admits that we're better and he loves us more" They ignored Diego's plan, passing by him to the elevator. "Boom! Done! We're wasting time!" Diego shouted.

Diego stopped outside of the elevator turning to the others who were waiting for him.

"Relax. Don't sweat it, man" Klaus said to Diego. "Those shit birds are staying put for a while. I bet they're as wiped as we are" Klaus said.

"Really?" Diego asked.

"Yeah, I mean, kicking our asses looked exhausting" Klaus said to Diego.

Inanna sighed, "Diego, if you don't get in right now you can sleep in the lobby" Inanna threatened, her finger hovering over the elevator buttons.

Diego muttered something under his breath as he stepped into the elevator. Inanna pressed the floor button which was written on Allison's key and the elevator doors closed on them.

"Inanna" Luther cleared his throat "Not that I want to be nosey or invade your privacy-".

"But you will" Inanna glanced to Luther.

Luther nodded. "How do you have enough money to pay for three rooms... maybe more by the looks of what was still left in your purse" Luther whispered the last part.

"Well Luther" Inanna started. "Some people spend their lives befriending sweet old couples who own diners to pay their way through life, others live in a home for single and lonely men and get used like a punching bag every night just to pay for dinner" Inanna turned away from Luther when she finished speaking, catching Five's grin as he lowered his head, trying to hide his smile like his siblings.

"Why are you so mean to me?" Luther asked.

━━━━━

"I call the one not by the window" Inanna told Five as she shut the door to their room. Inanna didn't know what she had expected, and if she had wanted a double bed to share with Five she realised she should have specified, but a bed was a bed — even if they were over 5 ft apart.

"Still scared someone will get you?" Five asked.

Five walked backwards into the room, he took his blazer off as he looked at the dark green oddly decorated walls, trying to decide whether he thought it was ugly or not.

"There is a draft by the window, that's all" Inanna shrugged as she took her coat off again.

She hung it up on the back on one of the two chairs that were sat either side of a small table pressed against the wall.

"How you holding up with the paradox psychosis?" Five said hanging his blazer on the end of the bed post before he sat down on the bed.

"Better than you" Inanna replied. Five shook his head, unsurprised by her response, he extended his hands out to Inanna, tilting his head as he waited for her to walk over to him.

Inanna crossed the room to Five, believing that now would be the perfect time to finally talk things over. The biggest conversation that Five had avoided at the farm was why he had kept a secret from Inanna for over 40 years — and unknown to Inanna, the truth behind the briefcase explosion.

Inanna stood in between Five's legs and Five held her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over the red marks that had been left on her skin from the fight with Anna.

"She got you good here" Five whispered, pressing his thumb lightly next to the cut on her cheek, which had a line of dried blood underneath it.

"I got her good" Inanna mumbled, pulling a smile from Five.

Five continued looking over Inanna's wounds, forgetting about the gash on his forehead and the blood that had caked to his skin while he checked over his wife.

"Five" Inanna whispered his name, feeling as if the room was too quiet to speak any louder. Five hummed, racking his eyes down her arms, taking her hands in his so he could look at them.

"Are we gonna talk?" Inanna asked Five as he kissed her bruising knuckles lightly "No one is here and I think that the soon-".

"We will" Five looked up at Inanna, his green eyes staring into her blue ones "I promise we will, but not right now, okay?" Five noticed how Inanna's lips turned down into a slight frown. "Hey" Five let go of Inanna's hands bringing her closer to him by her hips. "Tonight, okay? Let's just get cleaned up and rest for now".

Inanna only nodded once. Inanna wanted to talk about it sooner rather than later, she wanted to have her questions answered and her worries laid to rest, but with the new revelations that the Sparrows had brought and the paradox psychosis that made her phase just a tad more than normal, Inanna wasn't sure how long she could wait.

Inanna brushed her hands through Five's hair, pulling it back off his forehead as he tilted his head up to her. Inanna kissed Five's forehead and Five closed his eyes, taking in the silence while Inanna pressed soft kisses across his skin, trailing a line from his forehead to his jaw on the side that had hit the floor at the academy.

Once Inanna reached his jaw she straightened herself back up and cupped his face with her hands. "We should go get cleaned up" Inanna said. "Make sure your brain isn't going to fall out of that cut" Inanna said her eyes darting from the cut to Five's eyes as he opened them again.

"It's not bad" Five said.

"I'll be the judge of that, okay?" Inanna patted Five's cheek as she stepped away from him.

"It's fine, Inan" Five moved across the bed, laying back with his arms crossed under his head. "The worst will be a tiny scar".

"Keep talking and i'll-".

"You know your threats don't work on me" Five interrupted Inanna as she walked across to her bed, wanting to see if it was comfortable. "Never did, never will".

Inanna laid back on her bed extending her arms over her head as she closed her eyes. "Never say never, love".

just a random fact that i just
remembered, inanna was originally
going to be dead. like she would
have been like a vampire without
the whole drinking blood thing and
she would have had no heart beat,
which is pretty much the opposite
because her heart beats irregularly
and faster than it should.

also, what fandoms would
madelaine petsch fit? i was going to
write an only murders in the building
fic with her as the oc but i don't
know — would she fit tua?