ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɴɪɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ
'ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴘꜱʏᴄʜᴏ'

"This is the strangest conversation we've ever had, I hope you know that" Inanna started. Five nodded, looking up at Inanna from where he sat on the edge of the bed. "All i've gathered is that when you went back to 2019 to save your family you found a mannequin and named it Inanna?" Inanna's brows furrowed as she uncrossed her arms.

Five didn't say anything, only nodded. Inanna tilted her head back looking up at the ceiling, all she wanted was to understand why, she didn't care that Five carried around a mannequin which he had name 'Inanna' — although she did find it rather strange.

"Why?" Inanna's voice was just above a whisper.

Five lowered his head, his gaze falling to Inanna's shoes. Hiding his already glossy eyes from Inanna's view as she looked back at him, waiting for an answer. "You know after I lost you, I didn't know what to do with myself. You had been the one constant in my life and I..." Five lifted his head, strands of his hair falling over his face, growing quickly uncomfortable as he clenched and unclenched his hands.

Five had always found it easy to express his emotions to Inanna, even when they had just met and Inanna claimed to hate him (she did hate him, for a while anyways, and even when she slowly began to like him — realising he wasn't the worst person to be alone with — she still strongly hated him), but he had never told anyone about the years that Inanna was presumed dead.

"I started throwing myself into missions-" Five continued "and I think a part of me wished that I wouldn't make it back either... or that-" Five shook his head, closing his eyes momentarily, forcing back his thoughts. "When I went back to 2019, I had no idea how to stop the apocalypse... but the second night I found-" Five sighed. "It didn't look like you-" 'Of course it didn't' Five thought, mentally scolding himself for even saying that. "-but it wore the same shirt you had wore the same day I met you-" Five stopped speaking, swallowing harshly "I sound pathetic, it's-".

Inanna stepped towards Five, her hands grasping his face lightly "Hey" Inanna's voice was soft, and Five looked up at her, his teary green eyes meeting with her gentle blue ones.

"I-".

Inanna scrambled for the words but no sentence formed. She wanted to tell Five that she understood. She wanted to tell him that she had drank coffee as a coping mechanism during the six years, but she couldn't.

"I-" Five set his hand on the back on Inanna's thigh, his eyes never leaving hers which were clouded with irritation — directed at herself for being unable to respond. "Five-".

Five stood up suddenly, his hand moving to her lower back, pulling her body into his as he pushed his lips against hers without warning. The kiss was soft and rushed, leaving Inanna wanting more as he pulled away, ready to finish the conversation that had been started, but all Inanna's thoughts had been completely dissolved by Five's touch.

Inanna's hands fell from his cheeks to the lapels of his blazer, sparing Five not even a second to continue on with his words as she slammed her lips to his again, her fingers curling around the material in her hands.

Five sunk into the kiss, his hand weaving into Inanna's red hair at the base of her scalp, pulling her impossibly closer.

The last time either of them had kissed someone was the last time they had seen each other before Inanna's disappearance. Five was barely awake, his eyes only peaking open for a second, long enough to kiss Inanna goodbye before she went on her mission.

Inanna pulled away from the kiss, her body phasing painful as her heart raced rapidly and she leaned her forehead against his, her eyes still closed. Five's brows furrowed and he smoothed his thumb across her cheek. "I'm never leaving you" Inanna muttered, her words breathless and quiet. "Not again".

Five kissed her forehead in response, it wasn't a promise, Inanna couldn't promise to always be with him, but she still meant every word.

Inanna and Five left the bedroom moments later after Inanna had changed out of her pyjamas. It was silent in the room while Inanna changed, the couple enjoying the peace and quiet with each other before they were thrown back into the chaos of the Umbrella Academy.

"All right" Five stood in front of his siblings.

Inanna sat next to one of Elliott's various desks, her arm out stretch while Elliott changed the bandage that covered the large cut (given to her by her father-in-law) protecting it while it slowly healed.

"First off, I wanna say I'm sorry. I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us".

"Oh, my God, again?" Klaus asked, a bottle of alcohol in his hand that he had found in one of the cupboards. Diego nodded. "All of you knew?" Klaus asked in disbelief. "Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-" Klaus's eyes widened "Oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! I told them we had until 2019" Klaus sighed.

"We have until Monday" Five corrected "We have six days".

"Is it Vanya?" Klaus asked. Vanya glanced to him, hurt that he assumed it would be her.

Elliott's nose scrunched up in slight disgust as he dabbed Inanna's cut. He regretted volunteering, even after Diego offered to help her change the bandage while Five clued up the rest of the family, but Elliott said he wanted to help and Diego wasn't going to argue.

"Klaus" Allison shook her head.

"What? It's usually Vanya" Klaus said.

Vanya turned her attention from Klaus to Five. "Do you have any leads, Five?" Vanya asked.

Diego picked up a file from the table next to him, extending it to Five. "Yeah" Five muttered taking the file from Diego "We have one".

Five handed the file over to Allison. Allison opened the file, unsure of what to expect "Holy shit" Allison looked from the file to Five, a photo of Reginald Hargreeves (taken from the Frankel Footage) was the last thing Allison had expected. "Is that Dad?" Allison asked.

Klaus ran around to the back of the couch, almost spilling his drink onto Vanya, as he peered over Allison's shoulder and Vanya moved across the couch to see the photo.

"Yeah" Diego said.

"That's him?" Vanya asked.

"Standing on the grassy knoll" Diego muttered.

"Diego, Inan and I have been trying to talk to Dad about what exactly this means. So far, we've got nothing".

"Not nothing" Diego interrupted "We know he's planning to kill Kennedy" Diego said.

"Maybe" Five set the file back down on the table Diego had taken it from "But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent. But if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right".

"Yeah, but how, if we don't know what's broken?" Allison asked.

"Oh, come on" Diego said "Do the math. We know Dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president" Diego looked between each of his siblings as he spoke. "So I think we all know what we have to do".

Five nodded. "Kill Dad" "Find Dad" Five and Diego spoke simultaneously.

Allison chuckled taking the bottle of alcohol from Klaus. Five turned to Diego, ready to disagree but Vanya spoke up before he could "None of us are supposed to be here, right? I mean, what if it's us?" Vanya asked.

Klaus crossed the room, lounging in one of the chairs as Vanya continued. "Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" Vanya asked. Klaus shook his head 'no'.

The room fell silent with only Inanna's voice being heard as she told Elliott to 'quit being a baby' and to wrap the bandage around her arm before she strangled him with it.

"Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald" Luther spoke up, glancing from Inanna and Elliott to Diego as he pointed at him.

"And you're working for Jack Ruby" Diego raised his voice pointing back at Luther.

"Allison has been very involved in local politics" Klaus said.

"Okay" Allison nodded, pointing at Klaus "You started a cult".

"I'm.. I'm just a.. a nanny on a farm" Vanya spoke up as Klaus mimicked a cat, hissing. "I don't have anything to do with all of that".

"Well, maybe you do, we just don't know it yet" Allison argued.

A high pitched whistle from Diego drew everyone's attention back to him, including Elliott and Inanna as Elliott carefully bandaged her arm, trying not to touch the cut with his fingers.

"Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence. Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is..." Diego gestured to Klaus who was wafting his hair out of his face. "-doing something weird and pervy but probably related. And Inanna-" Diego pointed at Inanna "- you could have ended up anywhere in time, why here? Why now?" Diego asked, Inanna shrugged.

Inanna didn't feel like telling Diego that she hadn't just turned up in 1963, but rather six years earlier but she did think Diego had a point, even if it was a far stretch.

"See, clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy".

The siblings broke out into an argument, talking over the top of each other, none of them able to get a word in before they were interrupted.

"I'm very grateful that my parents never had any other children" Elliott said, his words only be heard by Inanna.

"I'm grateful that I only had a brother" Inanna smiled weakly as Elliott finally tied the bandage, tapping it lightly with a proud smile pulling on his lips.

"Guys, you all die" Five's voice cut through the room, silencing the argument that Diego's speech had started. "I was there. I saw it. And I wanna forget it, but I can't" Five looked down at the floor in front of himself "I saw Russian nukes vaporise the world with all of you in it... in a war that never happened until we brought it here. And Hazel gave his life to save us, so you need to shut up and just listen to me"

Five didn't look at any of his siblings, his focus on Inanna alone "I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected. I don't know if there's a reason for everything. But Dad will" Five pulled his eyes from Inanna looking to Diego. "We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead".

"Okay" Luther interrupted. "I'm out" Luther stood up from the chair he had been sat in.

"Did you even hear me, Luther?" Five asked Luther as Luther walked towards the stairs to leave.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did" Luther replied. "I heard a 58 year old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything. Well, you can count me out" Luther's smile faded. "It's time we all grew the hell up".

"What happened to 'this is a family reunion?'" Inanna repeated what Luther had said as she slipped her arms into her cardigan sleeves.

"If you want to have a meeting with our Dad, go head, Inanna, but it didn't exactly work in your favour last time, did it?" Luther spoke as he continued his walk to the stairs, he wanted no part of Five's plan especially if it included speaking with Reginald Hargreeves.

Inanna rolled her eyes at Luther's response and Diego jumped up from his chair, hurrying after Luther as Allison called for Luther to come back. Five sighed, raising his brows at Inanna before he blinked onto the stairs, appearing in front of Luther. Five expected nothing less from the family reunion.

"No one leaves until we figure this out" Five said.

Luther sighed with a half nod. He was leaving. He grasped Five by his sweater and threw him over the stairs. Five blinked out of the television store before he hit the floor, his anger growing as he landed in the alleyway, stumbling into the wall.

"Did you just-" Inanna raised her voice, her question directed at Luther as he continued leaving, Diego following right behind him in hopes of changing his mind.

"Yes" Luther cut Inanna off, knowing that Inanna was going to ask. "He'll live".

"You're an asshole, Luther" Inanna shouted, hearing the bell of the store ring as Luther opened the door.

"Thank you".

"Dickhead" Inanna muttered.

"He's not always like that" Allison spoke up as Inanna crossed the room, sinking into one of the chairs. "Luther" Inanna turned her attention to Allison. "He's not an asshole, most of the time".

Inanna only nodded her head, closing her eyes as she rubbed the bruise on her temple lightly. Luther hadn't exactly proven to Inanna that he wasn't an asshole.

"You know, Allison" Klaus spoke up. "I think it's up to us three to welcome our sister-in-law into the family" Inanna peaked open her left eye, looking over to Klaus.

Allison shook her head with a smile "Really? Right now?" Allison asked.

"I could really go for some tacos..."

"Shouldn't we wait?" Allison asked gesturing over to the store door.

"You know those guys. I mean, it could take forever for them to bro it out. Inanna? Vanya?" Klaus stood up from where he sat, brushing his hair out of his face. "Tacos?".

"Is there any way that tacos are gonna cause the end of the world?" Vanya asked her question directed at Inanna.

"Maybe, who knows?" Inanna shrugged. Inanna stood up straightening out her cardigan. "But I'm not one to turn down tacos".

Klaus had a change of heart before they had even left the store, suggesting that they just got drunk at hair dressers that Allison worked at. Inanna hoped Allison would disagree, really wanting tacos after it was offered, but Allison wanted the same as Klaus and Vanya didn't argue.

Elliott would have joined the four of them but he had already made plans to visit his son and ex wife and he didn't want to cancel on them like he had done the day that Five turned up at the apartment.

Inanna sat in one of the chairs, clipping the front pieces of her hair back while she listened to Allison rant about her husband, Ray, who had left her in the street during a protest turned riot, and didn't come home after he had seen her rumour a police officer.

"The nerve of that man" Allison grabbed the bottle of champagne from next to the radio that played 60s music. "I mean, one thing goes wrong and he's on a warpath" Allison said.

Allison stepped behind Klaus who sat in one of the chairs, looking at herself in the mirror. "I mean, doesn't know who I am?" Allison repeated what her husband had said to her, pointing at herself with a comb. "No, no. No, Ray, you know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it. I'm- I'm protecting him" Allison slapped Klaus's hand as he touched his hair, messing up the part she had already combed through.

"Ow" Klaus slapped Allison's forearm in retaliation. "From what?" Klaus asked as Allison smacked his head lightly.

"The end of the world, for one" Allison replied as if her answer wasn't obvious.

"Is the world really gonna end in six days?" Vanya asked looking over to Inanna in the chair next to her.

Inanna nodded. Inanna had no reason to believe that the world wasn't going to end in six days.

"Well, it did last time" Allison said, Allison looked at Vanya through the mirror, who had her back to them facing her own mirror. "And we did everything Five could think of to stop it-".

"Wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" Klaus asked standing up from the chair, stumbling into the middle of the room. "Wouldn't it be weird?".

"Eww" Allison screwed her face up, her head following Klaus as he crossed the room, stopping next to Inanna. He sat half on the edge of the table.

"Does Five grow up to be hot?" Klaus asked, his words a little slurred as he leaned towards Inanna, his face inches from hers "He must do, right? Just you two at the end of the world, he had to be hot-".

"If I say that he does, will you get out of my face?" Inanna asked, leaning her head away from Klaus's.

Klaus booped Inanna's nose with his finger as he leaned back. Taking Inanna's response as 'Yes, Five does grow up to be hot'. "So, what was he-".

"Ew" Allison shook her head. "Please stop, that's our brother".

"Oh, please" Klaus turned to Allison. "Miss 'Luther was my lover'" Klaus started making kissing sounds.

Allison extended her hand to Klaus, "We have never even kissed" Allison argued.

Inanna believed Allison more than she believed Luther, who had stumbled over almost every word as he tried to defend himself after being called a 'sister kisser'.

"Yeah" Klaus raised his hands "But you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and all that".

Vanya spun around in her chair slowly as Allison sat down across the room, resting her feet on a stool. "Aren't we all brothers and sisters, or...?".

"Well.. technically-" Allison sighed "it's-".

"'Technically'" Klaus mimicked Allison, his voice higher pitched. "If you have to word... use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" Klaus turned to Vanya giggling as Allison's eyes widen.

"Luther got really defensive" Vanya added. "When Inanna called him a sister kisser" Vanya turned her head to Inanna who nodded as she spun around on her chair to face the others, a smile tugging on her lips.

"Sister kisser" Klaus's scoff turned into a laugh as Allison glared at him.

"I was out of it when I said it, but he did get really defensive earlier when he brought it up to me" Inanna said, taking the hair clip out of her hair.

"Because, Inan" Klaus nodded his head as he gestured to Inanna. Inanna smiled at the nickname that only Five ever called her occasionally, although it did sound rather strange coming from Klaus. "Luther wants to be a sister kisser, it's no secret...".

Inanna's nose screwed up and Vanya muttered. "Gross" quietly as Klaus chuckled to himself.

"Okay, can..." Allison shook her head as she leaned back in the chair. "Can we focus?" She asked. "I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, we could at least try to save my marriage- Inanna, how, how long have you and Five been married?".

Inanna was about to tell Allison that it was over thirty years, give or take a couple years. The years got confusing because technically Inanna had been married to Five longer than he had been married to her, but Klaus spoke before she could.

"No" Klaus spilled some of his alcohol onto the floor as he poured it into his mouth, missing completely as he spoke. "We aren't doing that" Klaus pointed from Inanna to Allison "That's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg. I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?" Klaus gestured to Vanya. "In secret love with some farm Frau".

"Her name's Sissy" Vanya said.

"Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer" Klaus mumbled.

"What?" Inanna and Vanya asked simultaneously, glancing to each other with the same look of shock in their eyes. Five had never mentioned anything about a serial killer. Inanna was no better than a serial killer, she knew that, she was also married to a murderer, but it was still a surprise to hear that Vanya dated a serial killer.

"Later" Allison mouthed as Klaus continued.

"And Inanna, you met our brother at the end of the world... I mean, did you really have a choice? It was Five or what... a tree?".

"I guess" Inanna mumbled.

Klaus did have a point, but Inanna, to begin with during the apocalypse, was prepared to spend the rest of her life alone and hating Five than being with him just because he was the last person alive. She had told Five 'I'm not repopulating the world with you' on an extra stormy night as they hid in a wooden hut that they had rebuilt and claimed as their home, huddled together for extra warmth, his arm over her shoulder, keeping the blanket over them both as the wind battered against them...and that was the only thing she never went back on — even if at one point in her life she did want children with Five.

"Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch... for a solider I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister".

"Okay, again" Allison rubbed her temple with her fingers "We are not biological".

"Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin of his supposedly dead wife" Klaus pointed at Inanna, his voice raising slightly as he extended both of his arms towards her.

"Nice" Inanna muttered, averting her gaze to the door behind him.

"Really, Klaus?" Allison asked in disbelief with a shake of her head.

"The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love..." Allison slid down in the chair, dropping her head back. Klaus raised his arm into the air. "- is how to screw it up".

"How do you deal with this?" Vanya asked.

"What?" Allison asked.

"I mean, all of it. The time travel, seeing the dead, the end of the world". Vanya asked.

"Coffee" Inanna thought.

"Well, I get really high" Klaus sat in the chair by the door. "Allison, Allison... lies to herself" Klaus whispered.

Allison booted the stooled across the room making Klaus flinch as it rolled to him, almost smacking against his knees but it slowed down before then.

"And you suppress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... you blow shit up".

"Yeah" Vanya mumbled as Allison turned in the chair back to the mirror "I'd really like to not do that anymore".

"Well, you've got six days, missy".

"What the hell are we supposed to do with six days?" Allison asked, looking at Klaus through the mirror as she ran a comb through her hair.

"I don't know" Klaus muttered.

Vanya sat up in her chair as she nodded her head, agreeing with the thoughts that came to the front of her mind. "I'm gonna tell Sissy that I love her" Vanya said. "I don't want any secrets".

"Yeah" Klaus nodded.

Allison threw the comb onto the table "Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're right" Allison stood up and pointed at Vanya. "Yes, 'cause, you know, if... if it's all gonna go tits up, the least I could do is be honest with my husband".

"Oh..." Klaus sighed, dropping his head into his hands, rubbing his eyes. "Does that mean I have to face my cult?" Klaus asked as he looked dropped his hands and lifted his head. "I just hate group breakups. It's why I stopped dating twins".

"What are you going to do? Other than try to save the world?" Allison asked Inanna.

Inanna shrugged as she crossed her arms over her chest, feeling an instant burn in her arm from the cut gifted to her Reginald Hargreeves. "I'm going to find your father and take a chunk of flesh, preferably with a fire poker" Inanna said, nodding with each word. "Then let Five talk to him".

"You are a little psycho" Klaus chuckled. Inanna muttered a 'thanks'. "No wonder Five is crazy about you, he's a little psycho too" Klaus mumbled as he glanced up at the ceiling, his attention easily pulled away by one of the lights that hung.

"This family is amazing" Vanya threw her arms out to her sides.

Allison laughed loudly as Klaus's stood up, chuckling. "Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves" Allison said to Vanya.

Klaus put his arm over Allison's shoulder and the pair of them called for Vanya to join them. Vanya jumped up from her chair, putting her arm around Allison as they turned to Inanna, waiting for her to join them.

"Come on, little Red" Klaus beckoned Inanna with his hand. "This is what you married into, it's too late to back out now".

Inanna rolled her eyes as she stood up from the chair, tossing the clip onto the table. She approached the three Hargreeves and Klaus threw his arm over her shoulder pulling her into the hug.

"This is nice" Klaus patted Inanna's head as he rested his head on the top of Allison's.

"Oh" Allison lifted her head from where it was resting on Klaus's shoulder, knocking her head into Klaus's jaw from excitement "I love this song!" Allison broke away from the hug to turn up the radio as Twistin' the Night Away played.

Allison started dancing as she came back to the middle of the room, pulling Vanya towards her and she encouraged her siblings and Inanna to dance, holding out the champagne bottle to Inanna.

Inanna was hesitant at first, taking the champagne bottle as she watched Klaus and Vanya join in with Allison, but as Klaus took her hand and spun her around, Inanna slowly gave in, copying Allison's dance moves and drinking from the bottle of champagne that she was yet to drink from.

this is a really long chapter
but inanna bonding with klaus,
viktor and allison >>