When I entered the William McKinley High School cafeteria one chilly day in April, already exhausted from US History, I saw that the GSA had set up a table with everything from bracelets that said "Love Is Love" to homemade cookies. Tanner and Ashley were behind the table, trying to get students to stop by. Ashley was even waving a rainbow flag around, and it seemed like plenty of students were stopping to check out the table. Before I went into the lunch line to get my plastic pizza, I went up to Tanner, mostly just to say hello.

"Hey Dani," Tanner said. "We're having a bake sale, and we've also got some patches, pins, and bracelets. All proceeds are going to a charity that supports LGBTQ youth."

"That's so cool that you guys are doing this," I said. I handed a couple of dollars to Tanner and then, after looking around for a while, I took a chocolate chip cookie and a pink triangle patch.

"Thanks," Tanner said.

"No problem," I said. "I'm happy to support a good cause."

I ate the cookie while I was in line, and I stuffed the patch into my backpack, not quite sure what to do with it yet. After I had bought my lunch, I sat down next to Madeline. "Where's Tanner?" she asked me.

"He's at the GSA table," I said. "They're selling cookies."

"That's awesome," Madeline said. She got up to check out the bake sale, and she came back with a stack of snickerdoodles. "You're coming to Quiz Bowl today, right?" she asked as she took a bite of one of the cookies.

"Yeah, of course," I said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Good," Madeline said. "Conference is next week, and we need you."

"Wait a second, conference is next week?" I said. It seemed like the end of the Quiz Bowl season had snuck up on us. Even if we somehow won the conference tournament, there was only regionals and state left. Before long, Quiz Bowl would be over, and I wouldn't be able to hang out with my closest friends after school and answer trivia questions with them anymore.

"I know," Madeline said. "I wish it wasn't so soon."

"Me too," I said. "Anyways, I'll definitely be at practice."

"Great," Madeline said. "You know, we beat Garden Grove, and they have the best Quiz Bowl team in our conference. We might have a shot at going to regionals this year."

"Yeah, but we barely beat them," I said. "What if we lose against them at the conference tournament?"

Madeline and I continued to speculate on how hard it would be to beat each team in our conference, but before long, the bell rang, and I had to go to AP Biology. We walked together until we got to the orchestra room, but we soon had to go our separate ways. "I'll see you in Quiz Bowl!" Madeline exclaimed as she ducked into the orchestra room.

All throughout the day, my phone wouldn't stop buzzing. I resisted the urge to check it, since I was pretty sure that it wasn't an emergency. It wasn't like Blake was buying tickets to see Green Day again. I focused on my schoolwork, no matter how badly I wanted an escape from physics or Spanish. It wasn't until after my last class was over that I finally checked my texts.

Every single one of them was from Blake. This had happened more and more often lately, but he had never sent me quite this many.

Heyyyyyyy Dani ;)

How's school?

I miss you a lot. It's so lonely here.

You should come over to my house sometime.

By the way, you looked really pretty the other day. That black jacket looks so nice on you.

Dani, why aren't you replying to me?

You're all I can think about, you know ;)

I rolled my eyes and texted Blake back. "I was in class, and Quiz Bowl starts in five minutes," I wrote. "I'll text you later."

A few seconds later, Blake replied. "You wouldn't need that nerd club if you had me."

I shoved my phone in my pocket and pretended as if Blake hadn't said that. When I entered Mrs. Welch's classroom, Tanner was writing "Kirk vs. Picard" on the board, and I felt at home. I was among my friends, people who didn't care about anything other than trivia questions and whether they liked Kirk or Picard, and we were about to play our favorite game. Nothing could possibly be better.

After Quiz Bowl was over, as Madeline and I were waiting for our parents to pick us up, I asked her, "How are things going with Blake?"

"You know, I thought that Blake really liked me, but now he's saying that there's another girl that he likes better," she said.

"That's really too bad," I said. "I know you were really into him."

"I was," Madeline said. "He's so cute."

"There are other fish in the sea though."

"Are there any other pink-haired fish with a cute smile in the sea?"

"I'm sure there are some of those."

Madeline sighed and said, "I just wish that Blake hadn't led me on. I thought that he genuinely cared, but then..."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Blake's a nice guy, but sometimes he acts like a jerk."

"I think he's still taking me to the Green Day concert though. That will be fun, right?"

She smiled, and I tried my best to smile back, but I couldn't even pretend to be happy when I was still mad at Blake about the tickets. He shouldn't have invited Madeline in the first place. "Have you listened to any Green Day songs yet?" I asked her, trying not to think of how excited Sydney would be if she had the opportunity to see Green Day.

"No," Madeline said. "I don't really listen to pop music."

"You should check them out before the show. They're a good band."

Madeline was about to say something, but all of a sudden, Mom's car pulled up in front of the school. "See you later, Dani," Madeline said.

"Bye Madeline," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Mom drove me back home, and once I got there, I dug my pink triangle patch out of my backpack. After I had finished a few of my assignments, I took my black jacket, the same one that Blake had complimented, out of my closet, and I stitched the patch onto the sleeve. It turned out nicely, so I put the jacket over my chair so that I could wear it to school the next day.

While I was on the bus the following morning, I thought about how much everything had changed during the school year. I even looked different. I still stood out in a crowd, especially with my bright blue hair, but I had gained a little bit of weight, and I hadn't bothered to dye my roots lately. I didn't mind letting my natural brown hair bleed into blue. It would look awkward eventually, but for now, it wasn't a big deal. Besides, I liked how I didn't quite look the same as I did at the beginning of the year. It proved that I wasn't the same person as I was before, now that I had new hobbies, new friends, and a new life.

I wore my black jacket with the pink triangle patch to every class, and most of my friends seemed to like it. Tanner, Devon, and Madeline all said it was cool, and even Mrs. Welch complimented the jacket. "It's wonderful that so many McKinley students support gay rights," she said upon seeing the number of pre-calculus students who had bought something from the GSA sale. Of course, there were a handful of homophobes, but they were few and far between, and I didn't really care about the jerks as long as I had my friends with me.

During lunch, Blake started texting me again. "You never replied to me yesterday," he wrote.

"I'll talk to you later, Blake. I'm having lunch with my friends," I hastily replied as I took a bite of my pasta.

My phone buzzed again only a few seconds later. "Dani, I feel like you're ignoring me to hang out with those Quiz Bowl kids," Blake wrote. "You don't understand how much I've missed seeing your pretty face."

I stopped to think for a moment. I had been neglecting Blake again, and it seemed only fair to come and see him, even if his constant texts were getting a little bit creepy. "How about this?" I texted. "I'll stop by after school today."

"See you then," Blake texted, along with a few heart emojis. I rolled my eyes and stuffed my phone back into my pocket, although I did look forward to seeing Blake.

"Who were you texting?" Madeline asked.

"Blake," I replied.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing important." I paused, trying to think of a way to change the subject. Madeline surely didn't want to talk about how Blake had broken her heart, and neither did I. "How has orchestra been going?"

"You would not believe how awful our new repertoire is," Madeline said. "We're playing the Pachelbel Canon in D, which is the worst piece ever, by the way, and the cello part is just the same eight notes over and over again! I've practiced scales, arpeggios, orchestral excerpts, and I've even learned the entire Dvorak cello concerto, just to play Pachelbel's canon!"

Madeline ranted about Pachelbel and his canon for most of the rest of the lunch period, and I'm sure she would have kept going if the bell hadn't rung. After lunch, I went through the rest of my day, and once I was home, I borrowed Mom's car and drove to Blake's house.

As usual, we headed into the basement as soon as I got there. "How have things been going?" I asked.

Blake smiled and then said, "You know, you said that I shouldn't give up on looking for love, and I think you were right. I tried everything, but all along, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. It was right in front of me the whole time."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Dani, I know you can be a little bit oblivious sometimes, but we're meant for each other. You're the only one who's always been there for me."

I didn't know what to say, so I simply watched as he picked up an acoustic guitar and started to play "Wonderwall." The chords were so basic that I could have played them, and for a moment, I wondered if this was what it was like for Madeline. If so, then I had no idea why she was so obsessed with Blake. Nevertheless, he kept on singing about how I was going to be the one that would save him, not realizing that I couldn't care less.

You can't make stuff like this up.

Once he was done, he set down the guitar and said, "So? Will you go out with me?"

"I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last girl on Earth," I blurted out, not realizing what exactly I was saying until after I had already said it.

There was an awkward silence for a moment. I knew that there was no going back now. "You're a lesbian," he said.

"Yeah," I said. It was the first time that I had ever truly admitted that to myself.

"I should have known," Blake said. "You've never had a boyfriend, you got really worked up over that Brokencyde lyric a few months ago, you've got that pink triangle on your sleeve..."

"I'm really just trying to show that I support the Gay-Straight Alliance," I interrupted.

"Whatever. I should have known better than to waste my time with a lesbian."

"It's not a waste of time," I said. "There was no way for you to know that I was gay, and besides, how does that change anything? We can still be friends, just like we've always been."

"It changes everything, Dani," Blake said. "All along, I thought that you and I would get together someday, and all I had to do was be patient, but you proved me wrong. I tried to be with other girls, but they're nothing like you."

"Seriously, Blake?" I said. "Are you saying that you were only nice to me because you thought I was hot?"

"Why else would a thirteen year old boy pay any attention to an eleven year old girl?" he asked.

I thought back to the day Blake and I met. I had always thought that Blake had talked to me and let me listen to that Weezer song out of the goodness of his heart. Perhaps it was just because I was too innocent to think that Blake had any ulterior motives, but I was sure that Blake was being nice to me just because he wanted to be my friend. I assumed that he was like me - friendless, lonely, and desperately in need of someone to talk to - and in all the years we had been friends, he had never given me a reason to question that.

Was everything a lie? Maybe I had missed a couple of glances that had lasted a little too long, or a few half-hearted attempts at flirtation, but at first, I found it hard to believe that Blake had never been nice to me for its own sake. He had always seemed to genuinely care about me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that our friendship had always been a one-way street. Everything was about him. The Love Martyrs were his band, our fans were really his fans, our favorite songs were really his favorites, and when it came time to choose between my sister and his girl of the week, he picked Madeline. When I thought of it that way, it didn't seem like much of a surprise that he had never wanted to be friends with me at all, that he always felt entitled to something more.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. When I finally opened my mouth again, I shouted, "I can't believe you!"

"What?" Blake said.

"Why do you have to be such a pig? We've been friends since middle school! I thought that I would be more than just a cute girl at a Love Martyrs concert to you by now."

Blake didn't respond. There was a moment of awkward silence, and then after he had stared at my wild, blue hair for a while, Blake said, "That haircut looks hideous on you. You need to dye your roots, and then maybe you'd be worth obsessing over."

"I told you already. I'm not interested in you."

"You know, most girls would kill for this sort of attention."

"Fuck you!" I shouted. I stormed out of the house, and as I drove home, I promised myself that I would never return to the Pinkerton residence. After nearly six years and far too many memories, my friendship with Blake was over.

He tried to apologize, but I returned to my favorite tactic for when I was mad at him: the silent treatment. I deleted all of his texts and emails as soon as they arrived, and if I saw him at the grocery store or waiting in the high school parking lot, I pretended as if he didn't exist. Even my mom asked why I wasn't seeing Blake, wondering if something had happened. I didn't tell her the whole story, but even she could tell that something was very wrong.

However, my attempts to give Blake the cold shoulder were undermined by the fact that I was still in the Love Martyrs. I needed to go to band practice and the shows that we had already scheduled, so I still had to see Blake from time to time. I tried my best not to talk to him, simply playing and turning the fog machine on and off just like I was supposed to, but sometimes, it was impossible. It was hard not to slip back into my old habits, chatting with him as we went through soundcheck or congratulating him on a job well done after it was all over.

I never admitted this to anyone, not even myself, but at that point, I didn't really want to stop being friends with Blake. Sometimes, on days when I didn't have Quiz Bowl, I lay down on the couch and dreamed about the days when I thought that Blake cared about me. I wished that Blake would give me a real, genuine apology, and then things could go back to the way that they were before. I could have my best friend back.

When I wasn't thinking of Blake, pretending like I didn't miss him, I spent my time preparing for conference. I studied everything there was to know about biology, and by the time the tournament came, I had every bone in the body and every important scientist memorized. I went to every Quiz Bowl practice, and I hung out with my real friends, the ones who saw me as more than just eye candy. Somehow, it didn't quite feel the same. There was still a huge void in my life.

The day before the conference tournament, Tommy texted Blake and I, asking if we could meet that afternoon. I reluctantly said yes. There wasn't Quiz Bowl that day, so it wasn't like I was doing anything else. Soon, Tommy had scheduled a meeting for right after school, and I had to go. There was no getting out of it at the last second, no matter how much I wanted to do just that.

We met in Tommy's office, which was really just a cramped room in his parents' house. Blake was there, of course, with his shutter shades and his bright pink hair flying in every direction. He gave me a fake-looking smile as I entered the room, but I didn't even bother to smile back. Tommy glanced back and forth between the two of us, and then he said, "It's good to see you two again. Let's get started."

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"It's about time for the Love Martyrs to record their debut album," Tommy said. "When do you want to record it?"

"I don't know," Blake said. "How about tomorrow?"

"I have Quiz Bowl conference tomorrow!" I exclaimed.

"You don't have to go to that nerd club," Blake said.

"Yeah, I do. Conference is one of the biggest tournaments of the year. Everyone needs to go."

"You and Madeline shouldn't be hanging out with those other boys anyways."

I rolled my eyes and then asked, "Why would you even want to record tomorrow? It's not like you're going to write ten new songs in the next twenty four hours."

"You have no faith in me, Dani."

"What's going on?" Tommy said. "Are you two fighting?"

"No, we're doing okay," Blake lied. I didn't bother to correct him.

"Why don't we wait until the summer?" Tommy suggested. "That will give both of you time to write some more songs and play a few more live shows. Once Dani's out of school, we can work on recording."

"That sounds good," I said, but I dreaded the thought of going into the studio again. I didn't want to be stuck in a room with Blake for hours on end, not when we were fighting like this.

For a moment, I wondered why I was even still in the band. I had joined the Love Martyrs for Blake, and now that I knew that our friendship wasn't what I thought that it was, there was no real reason for me to stay. However, I imagined the look on Blake's face if I told him that I was leaving, the way that he would beg me to stay, and I realized that I couldn't quit, not yet. Leaving the band would kill whatever was left of our friendship.

"I guess we can wait a little longer to record," Blake said. "Hey Tommy, did I tell you that Dani and I are going to the Green Day show at the House of Blues?"

"No, you didn't tell me!" he exclaimed. "You two are so lucky. Everyone I know tried to get tickets, but they sold out in that fan club presale."

As Blake and Tommy chatted about the upcoming concert, I left the room, sick of being around both of them. Being in a band wasn't fun for me anymore. Even being on stage, with all of the flashy, neon lights and pounding drums, didn't give me the same rush that it once had. I was ready to move on.

After school the next day, I went straight to Mrs. Welch's classroom, where Madeline, Tanner, and Devon were already packing up the buzzers. "Rhenium, osmium, iridium..." Devon said.

"I told Devon to name every element in the periodic table in order," Tanner explained. "I didn't think he'd actually do it."

"I studied!" Devon exclaimed. "Platinum, gold, mercury...uh...thallium! Yeah, thallium's next, then lead, bismuth, polonium..."

Devon finally finished the whole periodic table as we stepped onto the bus, and then Tanner started going through an old packet, asking us all sorts of questions. We didn't get all of them, but then again, we were still warming up.

The tournament was at Garden Grove again, and our team easily made it through the first two matches. We beat Westwood and Pleasant Hill easily, but our final match was against Garden Grove. If we beat them, then we would win the tournament and advance to regionals.

At the beginning of the match, Tanner introduced himself and our "subdermatoglyphic" coach, Mrs. Welch. By that point, the introductions were familiar rather than strange. I liked the routine, and I enjoyed having the opportunity to crack jokes before the intensity of the match set in.

It was a close game. Garden Grove and McKinley were tied for most of the match: we pulled ahead in the alphabet round, but Garden Grove did better in the final round. We knew the answers to almost every question, but Garden Grove was faster at buzzing. Both teams were tied going into the final question, and I glanced toward my teammates. Tanner already had his finger on the buzzer, ready to go before the moderator had even started reading the question. Devon looked terrified, and Madeline looked like she was daydreaming. Tanner nudged her and said, "Quit staring into the future, Madeline."

The moderator began to read. "One of these structures is regulated by a negative feedback mechanism called attenuation. They can be 'negative inducible' or..."

I was sure that we had read about these in AP Biology, so I pressed the buzzer. "Operons," I said.

"That is correct," the moderator said as my teammates cheered. We shook hands with the other team, and then we left Garden Grove, with everyone still in shock from our victory.

"We're going to regionals!" Madeline exclaimed as we got onto the bus.

"I've been on the team since freshman year, and I don't think we've ever gotten this far," Tanner said as he high-fived Madeline, Devon, and I.

"We should all go out for ice cream or something to celebrate," Madeline suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea," I said.

We were still savoring the sweet taste of victory as the bus drove back to Garden Grove. Of course, we had regionals ahead of us, but for now, we could celebrate our success in conference.

On the bus, Madeline and I sat next to each other, but she hardly spoke to me at first. Instead, she was furiously texting someone, blushing every time she got a response. "Who are you texting?" I asked her.

"Blake," she answered.

I scowled, not wanting to think of him when we had just won the conference tournament. "I thought he didn't like you anymore," I said.

"The other girl that he was into turned out to be gay," she explained as she put her phone back into her pocket.

"I see," I said. "How are things going with Blake?"

"It's going really well," Madeline said. "He's so sweet and funny and cute. Why can't all boys be like that?"

I shrugged, and Madeline went back to texting Blake. Sometimes, she stopped me to tell me something that he said. "He knows just what to say!" she exclaimed, or perhaps, "He quoted my favorite book!" Sometimes, she just laughed, and I wouldn't be able to tell what she was laughing at until she pointed at her phone.

We did go out for ice cream, but that wasn't the most exciting part of the evening. It was just a celebration, an after party for what we had already accomplished. Devon, Tanner, and I chatted about the match, complimenting each other on our best moments, while Madeline was still glued to her phone. Tanner and Devon started planning for regionals, but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking of Blake again, even though I was trying not to.

I wished that I could have shared my victory with him.